A/N: First, Warnings: This story as not been beta-read so will most likely contain grammar and spelling mistakes. I did use spell-check, but there is only so much the thing can do. I apologize for these mistakes but you have been warned.
Now, about this story. While watching season six I noticed a shift in Dean and Cass' relationship, a far more slash like one than at any time before. What with the weird way the boys are around each other and of course the infamous 'Dude, get out of my ass.' moment. Which always makes me smirk and lift a brow. Anyway this is my idea about how that shift came about. It's also inspired by the song Beneath A Moonless Sky from the musical Love Never Dies. It's a wonderful song and I highly recommend it.
Story's set during the episode 6.14 - Mannequin 3 - The Reckoning
Thank you and enjoy.
He knew he should be on the road but he needed time to think, to deal with everything that had happened in the last few hours. He'd gone from having a family to being alone again. Sure he hadn't seen Lisa for weeks and the last time he had seen her he'd almost attacked both her and Ben. She'd made it very clear when she'd called that she wouldn't waiting around. But something in Dean had hoped it had been a heat of the moment fight. Even though he knew that everything she's said was completely true. It's what came with crossing paths with Veritas. That was why he'd been avoiding her calls. He couldn't listen to her tell him she hadn't meant what she's said. He'd had enough lies over the years.
Of course he'd never considered she's actually move on. That she's find someone else. He knew it was better this way; his life was too hard, too dangerous to pull Lisa and Ben into it. Sure she'd said she understood, that they could make it work, but he'd always known it wouldn't.
It wasn't that hunters couldn't have families, hell Ellen and his grandparents had all made it work, at least until one of them died. It was that he couldn't have one. As much as he wanted to have someone to come home to, to help fight away the darkness that was his life, he just wasn't able to put people he loved, civilians with no real idea what they were getting into, in that position.
Staring down into the third glass of whiskey he'd ordered he thought of how his life was going to be. He knew without a doubt that he would end up like Bobby. A grouchy drunk hunter with nothing more than the job and whiskey to keep him going. He loved Bobby dearly, the man was practically his father but when he'd imagined his life he honestly and foolishly pictured himself with a family, maybe a cool hunter girlfriend who got it. Meeting Ellen and Jo, see that it was possible had boosted that dream in his head. Lisa had been in that dream. But dreams didn't come true, and if they did… well, disaster and death always followed.
Dean glanced at the clock on the wall and groaned. Two hours, that's all it had been since Ben had ripped him a new one about abandoning his family. And the kid was right, he was always spouting on about how family came first, except… and he really hated himself of thinking it, really, really hated himself… Ben and Lisa weren't family.
Sure he'd spent a year with them but he hadn't been himself. He'd been what Sam and Lisa and the world wanted him to be. Respectable. Normal. No monsters, no demons….no angels.
Dean threw back his drink and ordered another. He'd meet up with Sam in the morning; it was only a few hours' drive. Right now he was going to lose himself in drink till nothing existed but himself and the backseat of the Impala where he had every intention of passing out.
He didn't need to rush back, Sam had everything under control. He'd already called to say the ghost was dealt with.
He groaned as another glass was placed before him. "I don't remember calling you?"
Castiel didn't move. He stood just behind Dean looking around the small half empty bar like it was hell itself. "You did."
"Didn't." Dean saw Cass frowning in the bar mirror. "I didn't say a damn word Cass. – You can ask the barkeep."
"I distinctly heard you say my name Dean."
The two men stared at each other in the mirror. Just like old times Dean thought to himself.
"Yes, it is…"
Now it was Dean's turn to frown. "What?"
"Like old times. – Dean, I'm fighting a war, what do you want?" the angel sighed.
"I didn't call you." Dean snapped turning around to face the angel's tired face. "Which is kinda of funny considering when I do call your sorry ass you don't come!"
Cass straightened his spine. "I came the moment you called about Sam."
Dean narrowed his eyes at the shorter man. "Yeah, and weren't you all the use in the world."
Dean instantly recognized the look in the angels' eyes. It was the same one he's been given the night he'd explained about the seals and Lucifer. It was the 'I can throw you back in' look. Only now it was a little less intimidating, because at that moment, hell wasn't looking all that bad.
"Very well Dean."
"Cass, wait." Dean snapped desperately. Suddenly Dean didn't want to be alone. Sure Cass had become a dick lately, but he was still the closest thing to a friend he had. And the wonderful thing about Cass, he didn't talk. He didn't want to go on and on about feelings and emotions like Sam did. Cass was the perfect date.
A shiver rushed through Dean at the thought, and he swung around in his seat.
"Stay…Have a drink."
"I don't drink Dean."
Dean sent his a look in the mirror. "Oh really, I remember a certain liquor store that would disagree with you."
Cass looked embarrassingly at his feet. "I – I was not myself then Dean."
"Yeah…" Dean sighed. None of them were. "You were stressed, fighting an unwinnable war and needed down time…" Dean smirked. "…kinda sounds like now right?"
Castiel stared at Dean's reflection. He had a point. He was in an unwinnable war. Not only against heaven but against his own conscience. But he couldn't stay here and drink with Dean. – Every time he was around the hunter he was wracked with guilt.
"A cold beer for my friend." Dean called before Castiel could say he had to leave.
With the beer on the bar, Castiel groan and took the seat beside Dean as the hunter threw back his whiskey and order yet another. Castiel merely stared at the cold bottle.
"How many have you had Dean?"
"Not nearly enough." He grumbled calling for another drink. "Leave the bottle…" he finally added.
"Don't you think you've had enough?" the waitress sighed sadly as she reluctantly placed the bottle before Dean.
His gaze flickered to Cass. "Don't worry; he'll see I get home in one piece." The waitress sighed again in defeat and walked away.
"What are you doing here Dean?"
"Where is Sam?" Castiel frowned, still staring at his untouched beer.
"He just finished a case."
"Without you." Castiel's head snapped around. "Did something happen? – I told you it was dangerous to…"
"I know, I know… He's fine…" Dean wasn't exactly lying, Sam was alright… now. Two days ago was a different thing all together. "So how's the war going?" Dean asked in a desperate attempt to change the subject.
Finally Castiel lifted the bottle and drank it all without taking a breath, before slamming it lightly on the bar. "Not well. – I'm losing."
Dean's head snapped around to stare at Cass. "What?"
"Raphael's forces are stronger than mine. – I – Don't know if I can win."
Dean had seen Castiel defeated before. More than once in fact but the look on his face at that moment broke his heart. Castiel had been through so much for them. "Anything we can do Cass?"
The angel shook his head, refusing to look at Dean. "I – I'm running out of time and options. – I cannot understand why they cannot see that we should not be fighting."
Dean looked thoughtfully into his glass. "Can't Balthazar help you?"
"Balthazar has already made his feeling clear. He refuses to be dragged into this."
"You know, the more of your family I meet, the more I hate them." Dean remarked.
Castiel didn't rush to their defence has he once would have. He'd lost faith in his family long ago.
The two men slipped into a comfortable silence. It was strange how easily they could do that. Like it was natural and normal for two guys to sit in complete silence. Anyone just walking into the bar would assume they were strangers, Dean was sure. But they were far from that. They'd been through so much together. Seen off demons, angels and archangels and death itself and they were still here, together again facing another fight.
Dean found the idea of that strangely comforting. Castiel understood his world and for the most part Dean understood Cass. Sure he hated it, but he got it. They got each other. He didn't need to explain himself to Cass, he didn't have to worry about anything harming him. The angel was more than capable of taking care of himself. – Frankly is Cass was a chick, he'd be just perfect.
Dean's head snapped up from his drink to meet Castiel's in the mirror. Shocked and somewhat appalled at the turn of his thoughts. It was loneliness he told himself. He was upset about Lisa and Ben, he was drunk. But what weirded him out more was that the thought had just slipped in there, naturally, logically – and not for the first time.
The two men were stared at each other in the glass. Dean trying to figure out what he was thinking and feeling, Cass trying to do the same. He hated that he could read Dean so easily. His thoughts, his feelings. But no matter how much he could read, he rarely understood.
~ SUPERNATURAL ~
Castiel tilted his head to the side just slightly, a shadow of his confused gesture they'd all become used to seeing, but was rarely seen any longer. Dean opened his mouth then closed it again. Finally he took a breath, reached into his pockets and threw some cash on the bar. He needed to get out of there, away from the drink before he thought something he couldn't take back.
He walked out of the bar without so much as a goodbye to either the barmaid or Castiel. His head wasn't in the right place at that moment, he couldn't look at Castiel let alone speak to him. Something freaky was going on. Something that was making him question himself.
He wasn't gay. People didn't just turn around one day and were suddenly gay. It was something you were born with right. Like a gene or something. It wasn't something that just snuck up on you in the dark…. Or after one too many glasses of cheap whiskey.
He was a ladies man, always had been, always would be. He'd never even looked at another guy like that. Sure he'd noticed that Cass was good looking, he wasn't blind, but that wasn't because he was gay, that was because… well, he just noticed. He was observant, he had to be in his line of work. But he had no desire, none in the slightest, to bang him.
Dean turned down a dark ally in this small nameless town, which was remarkably like thousands upon thousands of towns that he and Sam had seen all their lives. The lack of a moon made it pitch black and every instinct told Dean not to continue down it. Then again Dean wasn't in the right frame of mind to be listening to his instincts, especially after the freaking insanity that was currently swirling around his head.
The Impala was two blocks away and he was already kicking himself but what could you do when there were no parking spaces and a sheriff's office was directly opposite. The last thing Dean had needed was to get a DWI.
He staggered and tripped as he walked, the night air mixing with all the whiskey he'd consumed in the last hour but he was still alert to possible dangers.
Sadly no matter how long he'd known Cass, not matter how prepared he was for the angels sudden appearances, it still caught him off guard.
"Dean!" Castiel shouted as he grabbed Dean's shoulder from behind and threw him side long into the wall, just as another angel rushed him.
Dean landed face first into the brick wall and was suddenly hit with a memory for another brick wall, another fight.
~ SUPERNATURAL ~
Cass stared at his brother angel, an angel blade sliding into his palm in preparation for the fight.
"Raphael wishes to speak to you."
"I have nothing to say to him." Castiel's gaze narrowed. He'd been fighting long enough to know a trap when he smelt it. All Raphael wanted was his head on a platter.
The angel glanced in Dean's direction and smirked. They'd been trying to locate the Winchesters for months, but they were still carrying those Enochian sigils, the only time they were visible was when they prayed, which was rare now. When Castiel had vanished from the battle field, they'd know exactly where he was and Raphael had sent them to grab the Winchesters. Every angel in heaven knew the hunter was Castiel's weakness. With him in Raphael's grasp they could for Castiel to surrender.
Castiel wasn't willing to talk any longer, he was frustrated and tired and just wanted a moment to himself. A moment of peace, like he'd had in the bar with Dean. He sensed the other angel before he saw him and spun, throwing his blade directly at the woman behind Dean. He knew now what the trap was. It wasn't him they were here for, but Dean. He turned back to the male angel and glared, challenging him to make a move. He saw the light in the angels eyes and waited.
The angel charged, blade raised. Dean called to his angel and flung the blade his way, just as Castiel knew he would. He caught it without even looking. The angel never even saw it coming as the silver blade pieced up through the man's jaw and into his grace.
Dean closed his eyes as the angel exploded.
"Jesus Cass, what the hell?"
Castiel turned to meet Dean, his jaw tight and filled with anger. "They were here for you!" He snapped. "Raphael thinks to use you to get to me."
Dean frowned and he staggered towards him. "What? – Why me?"
"Because you are my friend. – Everyone knows I would protect you… and Sam, with my life."
Dean stared speechless. "You… what?"
Castiel groaned and turned away. "Why do you think I've kept my distance Dean. They cannot find you. – But they can find me. When I come to you, I put you in danger."
Again speechless, Dean slumped against the wall. He'd assumed that Cass had just changed, that he'd become a dick after a year back among the clouds. Turned out he was doing just what he'd done with Lisa… stayed away in hopes of protect them."
Dean's head was spinning again. He couldn't see Cass in the dark, but he knew where he was. A few feet away, watching him.
"I – I'm sorry Cass."
"For what?" The angel asked blandly.
"Giving you a hard time over the last few months. I didn't really consider… anything. I just figured you'd turned into your brothers."
Castiel shifted his weight. "Your apology is appreciated Dean, though not necessary. – I should have explained."
"That might have been a start." Dean smiled.
There was silence again. Neither moving, neither speaking. They just stood in the darkness. Their individual minds playing thoughts over and over.
Castiel struggling with all his decisions over the past year and a half. He should have told Dean why he wasn't around, he should tell Dean just what he'd done, all of it. - But he knew the hunter well enough to know he wouldn't accept it, he wouldn't understand. So he would keep his dirty little secret to himself until it was over. Till he'd gotten what he needed to win the war. Then it'll be over, then Dean…and Sam would be safe forever.
~ SUPERNATURAL ~
Cass protecting him wasn't new. The angel had been doing so since the day he'd pulled him out of hell, and maybe even before that. Dean hadn't wanted to admit that, but now his mind wouldn't block it out. He'd been lucky to have Cass watching his ass these past few years. Lord only knew what would have happened if Uriel or Zachariah or some other dickless angel had been assigned to him. Instead he'd gotten Cass.
An angel who hadn't been simply a hammer. Who had questioned and doubted. Who'd seen the difference between right and wrong. - An angel who had taken his side against his own family. What more could Dean have asked for?
A life? A small voice in the back of his brain interrupted with spite. Someone to care for, who cares for you. Who wouldn't care that you vanished for days on end. - Someone to watched your back, make you laugh, even when they didn't mean to. - Who could take care of themselves while still needing you.
And that was just what he had, he reluctantly admitted to himself. In Castiel he had everything he could ask for.
Dean leant back against the wall, his minds whirling… right along with the world around him. He could feel blood seeping from a wound on his forehead where Cass had face planted him into the wall, but it wasn't a concussion that was making his head ache. It was the realisation that while he'd been looking for normality and happiness…and companionship, he had it all along.
He couldn't help but wonder what would have happened if he hadn't had listened to Sam. If he'd followed his instincts and stayed on the road. Would Cass had stayed with him then? - Would the angel have taken Sam's place at his side? - Would he have spent the past year happy rather than content?
The air was making a quick exodus from his lungs. He couldn't focus on anything outside of the dark figure he knew stood a few feet away. He wanted to blame the alcohol, or the head injury…. Or even the fact that he'd just been dumped, but the truth was, he didn't know why he was suddenly think of Cass in a new and slightly uncomfortable way, only that he was.
~ SUPERNATURAL ~
Why couldn't he just escape for a short while? Get away from his soldiers… and Crowley. Away from Raphael and the war. – Just some time to reconnect with his strength, his faith, his reasons for fighting this impossible war.
That's what had brought him to Dean. He's heard his name in the hunters mind and zeroed in on it, not caring about the battle he would leave behind. He'd just felt in that instant the need to be with him. To be away from the pressure and stress.
Castiel just needed time to think. He needed somewhere to escape to, someone to turn to when everything was against him. Crowley was a shadow threatening to engulf him; Dean was the light that kept him at bay.
Instead of finding that light, he'd found a man drowning his sorrows in a bottle of liquor. He hadn't needed Dean to tell him why he was drinking, like with every other time, Cass already knew. He knew what had happened between him and that woman. It was there in his mind as well as in his soul.
It was times like that, that made their profound bond almost unbearable. He knew Dean better than any other creature on earth. Better than Sam, better than that woman, better than Dean knew himself. He knew what Dean felt for him, even if Dean didn't and that had lead him away from heaven and directly into the path of Crowley, because knowing had been enough for Castiel. - Then.
Sadly, as time had passed, as he'd watched Dean started a new life away from hunting, it had grown harder to accept Dean's ignorance. Especially when all he wanted was to enlighten him.
~ SUPERNATURAL ~
Cloaked under the night neither man understood what was happening when Castiel's mouth crashed desperately over Dean's. The hunter reared in shock, his hands coming up to push the angel away. Ignoring the singing in his veins.
Castiel stepped back, his mouth open, his eyes searching for somewhere to settle that wasn't Dean's face, but unable to find anywhere.
"What the fuck Dude." Dean snapped his tone unreadable.
"I – I'm sorry Dean." the angel sighed with a mix of shame and frustration,
Dean couldn't see Cass, but he didn't need to, he could sense that the angel was about to flee and his arm shot out to grip hold of his sleeve. "Don't you go disappearing on me, you son of a bitch. – what the hell was that." Dean was angry to his surprise, and he really didn't understand why.
Castiel was full to bursting with so many emotions. Emotions he hadn't needed to deal with before he'd met Dean. Emotions he'd been bottling away for almost three years. - And tonight was his breaking point.
"Need." Castiel shouted, shocking them both as he shook off Dean hand angrily. He hadn't felt anger until he'd met Dean, now he seemed to feel it all the time, that and guilt.
"Need? – For what?" Dean frowned confused. - Or maybe it was denial.
Castiel meet Dean's blazing gaze in the dark and he shrugged, even though there was no way for Dean to see the gesture in the black dark of the ally. "Comfort."
Dean stood gaping. Surely this was some kind of fucked up dream or something. It was the alcohol, it had to be, cause there was no way Castiel: Angel of the Lord, just kissed him because he wanted comfort. That was just too weird even in their screwy little world. "You're kidding right?"
"No." Cass' tone was harsh and rough.
He ran a shaky hand down his face and tried to gain his breath and composure. "Why?"
Castiel groaned. "Why what Dean? – Why do I need comfort, or why did I seek it from you?"
"You're a soldier Dean, in your own way. – You spent years fighting a war against hell, you must remember how draining that is. How tiring. – I'm tired Dean. I want to forget…it all, just for a while" he sighed.
"Okay, I get that. – But why…. Why me?"
Castiel was silent for a long uncomfortable moment. "Who else?"
"Who else?…" Dean snapped feeling somewhat insulted at the idea that he was just convenient. Especially when not five minutes ago he'd begun to convince himself that the angel was the answer to his prayers and that he'd felt a slightly disturbing thrill at that brief kiss. "…Well how about anyone else! - How about you find yourself a girl in a bar, or find yourself a den of iniquity, Hell go find Meg… just don't hit on your best friend!"
"Huh, best friend? – Is that what you call yourself?" Castiel shouted. "I may be new to the ways of humanity Dean, but I'm sure friendship is a two way street."
"And what the fuck is that meant to mean?" Dean yelled back.
"It means that I've been fighting a war for over a mortal year, against an enemy stronger and with a larger force than I have and yet I drop everything to come to your aid…."
"Huh." Dean scoffed.
"… and when I get here, what do I get in return. Do I hear a hello Cass? or how are you Cass? I do not even get asked how the war is going…"
"Hey, I asked!" Dean interrupted with a yell, that Castiel swiftly ignored.
"…it is merely Cass we need this, Cass we need that. – And I do it; time and again I do it. Without complaint… because I consider you… and Sam my friends…."
"Then go kiss Sam!" Dean was angry, though admittedly, at himself. cause Cass was right; they had been treating him pretty bad lately. – Lately being since the day they met him.
"I do not want to kiss Sam. – Or Meg – or some strange woman I have never met nor wish to meet."
"Then go find yourself a nice choirboy type to shack up with if that's your thing!" Dean angry to the point of being sarky.
"Very well, and you could go and find some random woman…. or maybe just go running back to Lisa. – that's what you do when your scared isn't it! - When you don't want to face up to life!"
That was a low blow, Castiel knew it, Dean knew it and that was how Cass ended up face planting the opposing wall. Not because Dean had the strength to actually harm Cass. – At least not physically. – But because Castiel knew he'd overstepped an invisible line and he deserved Dean's retribution. So he allowed it to happen.
"How dare you! – I love Lisa…."
"I'm sorry Dean." Cass groaned, though he felt no physical pain.
Dean released Cass just enough to flip his around, before wrapping his fingers in the ever present trench-coat and slamming him back against the wall, pressing his face close so Cass could see the fury in his gaze even in the darkness. "You hear me, I love her."
"Yes Dean." Cass breathed, not wishing to argue the point with Dean. Because as much as he hated to admit it, the hunter did love the woman… just not as much as he wanted to believe.
~ SUPERNATURAL ~
Dean loved Lisa, had done for years, she was perfect. Beautiful, smart and caring. She'd taken him in when most women would have told him to get lost. Lisa was the ideal woman. - Except, she'd never been quiet enough for him. He realised that now. If he'd been happy with Lisa, truly happy, he wouldn't have gone back to hunting. It wasn't as if he was needed. Sam had had everything under control. He'd been with the Campbell's and they were doing the job. - sure, Sam hadn't had a soul and Samuel and the other were working for Crowley, but Dean hadn't known that then. Then it should have just been enough to know Sam was alive. He should have thanked his brother for saving him, Lisa and Ben and then let him go on his way, while he lived the normal apple-pie life. Sam hadn't even really wanted him.
But Sam had given him what he'd wanted… A reason to leave. Lisa had known that, even before Dean had. The only thing Lisa hadn't known. - Or at least he didn't think she had, because hell he hadn't even know it until this moment. - Sam hadn't been what he'd been missing that whole year. He'd dealt with Sam's death as he'd dealt with his fathers and Ellen and Jo's. Slowly and painfully. It had been Cass that he hadn't been able to cope without.
And that revelation was not only shocking to Dean, it was darn right shattering. Because everything Dean knew about himself was thrown into question. Now he was the one with doubts and questions. Did it mean he was gay? Had he been over compensating like Sam had tease a thousand times? He didn't know, and wasn't sure he wanted to.
What he did want was to step away, he knew he should but instead Dean took a surprising step forward, until his body was pressed against Cass'. He told himself it was a threatening gesture, that he was making it clear to the angel that he was not his bitch. That although the heavenly sheriff had the strength, Dean was not afraid to use force to make his point. That's what he told himself.
Of course no one told his body.
~ SUPERNATUTRAL ~
Once again they were both shocked into silence as this time Dean's lips crashed down on the angels in a show of force. It was hard and remorseless and filled with fury though whether it was aimed at Cass or at himself, neither of them knew.
All that was clear; this wasn't only something that they both needed but something they wanted. In the dark of the alley neither had to think about heaven or earth. About girlfriends or brothers. About wars or monsters or demons. All that mattered was each other and this strange relentless bond that existed between them.
Dean was taken over by the intoxication feeling rushing though his body. This was not what he had plan or expected when he'd pulled into the town in search of distraction and solace. He had thought that he'd drinking a few glasses of strong whiskey before passing out in the backseat of the baby till morning, then he'd get back to Sam. - And if he'd ended up making out with someone to ease the loneliness and guilt, it would have been some trashy waitress who name he didn't know and wouldn't care about. - Not his best friend.
He would have thought kissing another man would repulse him, instead it was all consuming. Filling him with a desire he hadn't felt in years. And he couldn't fight it, it just felt natural and right. Part of his mind wanted to know why he hadn't done this before.
Castiel returned the kiss with desperation. It was only his second, but it out shone the first a thousand times over. Of course kissing Meg had been a mistake, he'd known that instantly, but at least it had given him what he'd needed. Experience.
Now he put that experience into practice as he wrapped his left arm around Dean's waist and pulled him closer, his right hand lifting to wrap his fingers in the short strands of Dean's hair. Mirroring his first time. There was a difference though, Dean wasn't small and curvy like Meg had been, he was taller and solid. Yet despite that it was comfortable and right.
Castiel's eyes where closed allowing his every sense to take control. He could taste the whiskey on Dean's lips, could smell leather and rock salt on his skin. Feel the rough scratching of Dean's ten o'clock shadow creating friction against his own. He could even feel the pounding of the other mans heart in time with his own, as it raced hard and unforgiving against his ribs.
Dean hands unfolded themselves from the lapels of Cass' trench coat and slip up the mans neck and into his thick dark hair. Tugging on it lightly so as to tilt his head, giving Dean the ability to deepen the kiss. His mouth opening and forcing Cass to do the same. The moment he had access, Dean slid his tongue against the other mans with a satisfied moan he hadn't thought himself capable of giving. He felt Cass' body arch into his and repeated the sound, pressing his mouth harder against the angels.
If there was one thing Dean could say for kissing a man, it was that being gentle wasn't a necessity and knowing that send a shiver of excitement through his entire body, making it arch against Cass'.
Castiel's hand moved to join his other at Dean's waist. His fingers wrapping into the coarse, rough denim, pulling Dean closer still. Feeling the hard evidence of human arousal, Castiel couldn't stop his bodies reaction, as it forced itself forward, rubbing against it till his felt the same growth.
He couldn't breath from the surprise and lust, all he could do was move harder and harder against the man in front of him. The man he'd given up everything for, the man he'd fought for and continued to watch over. - even if Dean was unaware and would probably disapproving of it.
But none of that mattered in the blinding dark. There was only them and desire, lust and need they shared. Clocked in the darkness, neither man suppressed a single thing. They were just two souls needing something only the other could provide.
The world around them fell away as they moved against each other, kissing, touching. The only sound in the alley coming from their throats.
~ SUPERNATUAL ~
The balance of power shifted between the shadowed lovers when Castiel used his superior strength to switch their positions. Returning Dean to wall and pressing his body hard against the hunters.
To both men's amazement, Dean didn't complain or argue. He simply succumbed. Relaxing into Cass' obvious need to dominate the situation. Knowing his friend was in search of the control he was clearly lacking in his fight with Raphael.
Dean would never have thought himself capable of handing over that control. He'd always needed to be the one in charge, the one to give the orders. But there was something so appealing about not having to be that. There was a weight lifted, he been carrying so long it was apart of him. Without it, he could breath again. - he could feel. And handing that control to Castiel, Angel of the Lord. His saviour and friend, was the easiest thing in the world.
Castiel felt the shift in Dean. Not just from the relaxed, non-argumentative way he'd allowed the angel to reverse their stance, but emotionally. He could feel it in his soul, through that small part of his grace Dean was unaware he carried within him. Knowing Dean was giving him the one thing that made Dean Winchester who he was, was all the angel needed to know this wasn't a mistake. - That what he felt for Dean and from Dean was real.
Dean ripped his lips away from Cass' in desperate need of oxygen. The hands that had been clinging to the other man's neck, slid down his front and beneath the suit jacket he always worn. Dean could feel his heated flesh through the thin cotton of his shirt and it made his breath catch in his chest at just who stimulating it was.
Dean pressed his lips to the side of Cass' neck and bit gently, testing not only his own boundaries but the angels' too. Amazingly it seemed neither had any. Realising this, Dean repeated the action, harder this time, till he heard a harsh, dirty moan fight its way free of Cass' throat. Dean smiled into the marked flesh. It wasn't even close to payback for the mark Cass had left on him.
Dean's hands where still moving down the front of Cass' shirt. Taking in not only the heat but the surprising feel of muscle. Dean had always figured that beneath the layers of material Cass was skin and bone. To feel solid muscle was enthralling.
Castiel was breathing and moaning as Dean's hands and mouth moved, igniting sensations Castiel hadn't even been aware of before. He had felt none of them while kissing Meg, and was thankful for that now.
When Castiel felt Dean's finger brush against the waist of his trousers he snapped, groaning Dean's name into the man's cheek.
"Oh, Shit…" was Dean's reply as those hands began to tug at Castiel's belt frantically.
Castiel turned his mouth into Dean's neck, mirroring the man's earlier actions. This was new to him, at least physically. He knew about human sexuality, you couldn't spend your existence watching over them and not know. And he understood the fundamentals of it probably better than humanity itself did. He just had never been in a position to experience it.
But with Dean being obviously willing, he took his chance. Something he'd been wanting to do for longer than Dean would ever want to know.
Castiel followed Dean's lead and began work on the button and zip on the hunters jeans, sliding his hand beneath the heavy fabric and against the damp cotton of his underwear.
Dean took a swift intake of breath at the action, his eyes drifting closed, arching into the hands. Another moan filled the alley and Castiel's own clothing was forgotten in the fog of Dean gratification.
Castiel rubbed against the damp cotton vigorously for a few moments before removing his hand, much to Dean's annoyance, and spun the hunter till he was facing the wall once more.
Dean hadn't realised what giving Castiel control would really mean and his heart raced at the knowledge. A fear grew in his gut as he felt the mans fingers wrap into the waistband of his jeans and boxers, tugging at them. His mind screamed for him to stop this now, before… but his body and sense wouldn't allow him. There was a spark of want coursing though him in those seconds. A voice that wasn't his head telling him that he wanted this, that Cass needed this.
His palms were pressed flat against the damp rough wall as he listened to the sound clothing being loosened behind him.
"C-Cass…" he breathed into the dark, his forehead resting against the bricks, his hands shaking as he tried to brace himself. He mind screaming for this to stop. "C-Cass, I - I… I c-can't… I haven't…" He said breathlessly, his voice no more than a whisper in the night. He closed his eyes and took a breath, sensing Cass' uncertainly behind him.
As he stood their with his eyes closed he thought once more about what he'd wanted from his relationship with Lisa. Family, love, someone to have his back and be there for him when the shit hit the fan. He'd wanted to not have to worry or fear, he'd wanted to let his control go, if only for a few hours.
Lisa had given him the family and the love, but nothing else. With Castiel though, he got it all. Everything he wanted. - and so much more.
"C-Cass… I'm not r-ready…" Dean heard a sigh that made him want to smash his head hard against the wall. He turned his head to look over his shoulder. In the dark he couldn't see Cass all that well, but as always he didn't need to see him. "Cass, I mean…" he said in a surprisingly gentle determined voice. "…that I've never done this, ever. I don't have anything…" He remembered that Cass wasn't human, he didn't get this stuff. Hell, the feathery dude was a virgin. "You can't just…" Dean swallowed, wishing that he didn't need to do this. That he didn't need to talk, talking ruined the mood. It destroyed the silent hot bubble they'd been in a few seconds ago. He wished they could just do this. That his fear wasn't screaming though his mind and body.
Castiel places his cold hands against the naked flesh of Dean's waist and leaned against him, till his own over-heated body was skin to skin. He heard Dean's sharp intake of Dean and felt a smile pull at his eyes and a flood of satisfaction.
With his lips pressed against the nap of Dean's neck he whispered into the skin. "Trust me." He felt Dean shiver rush through them both and pressed a kiss to where he'd whispered the words.
When he felt Dean relax physically and emotionally Castiel knew he'd gained another victory. Cause Dean truly trusted few people, and that knowledge had a barrage of guilt attacking the angel. Dean trusted him and he was betraying that trust by working with Crowley. Could he do this, love Dean knowing that he was betraying him? But was he really, what he'd done. What he'd agreed to was all for Dean, if or when Dean discovered the truth, he'd understand. He'd be angry, but he'd understand. And if they share this, if they added to the bond they already shared, then it would make thinks easier. Because people forgave those they loved, didn't they?
Dean groaned an okay and let himself relax. He silenced the voice in his head and listen to the one in his gut instead. The one that said this was what he wanted. What he'd been wanting for a long time if he was honest. That Cass never given him a reason not to trust him.
~ SUPERNATURAL ~
Dean gasped when he first felt it. A warmth spread though every muscle in his lower body, relaxing them. It was like nothing he'd ever felt before.
"Dean?" he breathed. "Just relax."
Dean was about as relaxed as was possible. His own breathing steady and shallow.
The warmth continued to spread until he though he's legs would give out from beneath him. A strong arms quickly snaked around his waist and held him tight. He smiled into the wall.
As relaxed as his muscles were and he felt, it didn't distract from the desire that was coursing though him. Which actually seemed to be increase with every moment.
"Cass." he groaned, the feel of naked flesh against his backside stealing his breath. This was really happening he thought.
The first time me moved, pushing himself into Dean, he wasn't sure it was the right thing to do. Dean's groan in pain had him freezing.
"Move." Dean grunted thought clenched teeth, though he didn't give Cass' the time to follow the orders, as he moved backwards onto the other man. Grunting with every inch taken inside.
He had expected it to feel different. Unbearably painful, wrong… nauseating. But it was thrilling and breathtaking.
Fully sheathed inside, Castiel froze once more, allowing himself and Dean to adjust. But Dean as always was inpatient, groaning, his head lifted from the brick.
"If you didn't know what you were doing…" He snapped out of frustration and discomfort. "…you shouldn't have started this."
That was all it took to get Castiel moving. Pulling himself free, almost all the way, before slamming back inside, causing Dean to yell in surprise, pain and pleasure as the man hit a spot Dean hadn't realised existed.
After that there was no stopping the angel. Over and over again he thrust, shaping his hips like a pro. Dean even suspected he's lied about never having had sex before. - or maybe he'd had the opportunity while they'd been apart. - Maybe it wasn't just a kiss he's shared with Meg.
Those thoughts had an unsavoury taste of jealousy filling his mouth. Dean bit down on his lips, grunting and groaning with every movement and pushed the thoughts away. His eyes were closed tight and he savoured every sweet sensation Cass unleashed on his body. Moving to meet ever thrust.
Dean's climax was building up in the pit of his stomach. He was panting for air while sweat slicked the flesh beneath his cloths. Lifting a hand from the wall, he dropped it to his throbbing erecting. Wrapping his finger tight around it he gave a few strokes, trying to match Cass' rhythm. Listening to the angels sensual moans of ecstasy. Feeling his short nails biting into his flesh.
After a few more tugs on his own member, Dean released himself and reached his hand around to grip Cass' wrist. Prying it from his hip and dragging it in front of him, he forced him to wrap his fingers around the painfully hard dick. Gasping at the touch of the mans cold strong hand.
Dean didn't let go, he moved his hand on top of Cass' and tutored him. The pairs hands moving in time with Cass' thrusts and Dean's gasping moans.
Castiel began to feel the pressure building and he knew what would soon happen. He buried his mouth into Dean's shoulder to muffle the cry he knew he wouldn't be able to control. When his climax finally hit, it took him by surprise only because of the force behind it. His hand tightened around Dean's erection, while his teeth sank into the thick fabric of the man's jacket. Though it did nothing of muffle the sound of his cry.
The pressure Dean felt around his dick was enough to send him toppling over the edge right after Cass. He's own cry of ecstasy filling the silent ally like a bomb going off. He was sure people would hear him, he only hope no-one came running to see what it was. He had no desire to be caught being fucked by Cass in a dirty dark ally.
Breathless and spent, Dean dropped his head to the wall. He could feel Cass' own forehead pressed between his shoulders. The angel still inside him as they both tried to compose themselves.
A cool breeze bit at their damp, sticky bare flesh, sending a chill through them both.
"That was…" Dean sighed lazily. He didn't know how to describe it. New? A revelation? Hot? The best he'd had? - Disturbing?
Dean hissed as Castiel finally pulled out of him. His hands once again roaming over the hunters back, the warmth seeping into the muscles, healing and soothing.
The whole experience had Dean feel exhausted and sleepy, and Castiel sensed it. After re-clothing himself and Dean, he lifted his hand to Dean's head.
Dean was practically unconscious when he was deposited on the back seat of his precious Impala. Castiel stood at the open back door, looking down at the flushed, sleeping form. He'd regained his own sense of balance. As well as a renewed feeling of strength and confidence. He would win this war, one way or another, for Dean.
He heard the call from on high. Rachel needed him. The war needed him. - But he only needed Dean and as long as he had him and his trust, there was no battle Castiel couldn't win.
Crouching down at the sleeping man's head, he brushed his fingers through the sweat covered strands, and moving his lips close to his ear.
"Thank you Dean." he whispered.
Standing up straight he closed the door gently, so as not to wake him, then went back to his war.
~ SUPERNATURAL ~
Dean woke a few hours later when his phone began to ring. He felt a peace, really at peace, for the first time…probably ever. Sitting up he shifted in the backseat, surprised to find no discomfort. He smiled, figuring it was a perk of being screwed by an angel, they could heal the damage with a single touch.
The lack of discomfort wasn't the only thing that surprised Dean. The fact that he was alright with what had happened. That he wasn't freaking out, or yelling blue murder to the heavens, or reaching for a bottle of Jack to wash away the memory. - And man did he remember.
No, there were no regrets of any kind, because as much as he didn't swing that way. - And he'd continue to say so. - When it came to Cass, he didn't give a shit. The angel was just what he wanted and needed. He gave Dean everything, and wanted little in return. And most of all, with Cass, Dean could let go for a while. That was the best feeling ever.
Pushing open the door and moving into the front seat, Dean was smiling. Strange considering he'd just broken up. - officially. - with his girlfriend. But not so strange considering he'd just had the best one night stand of his life.
Sliding the key into the ignition. He paused, leaning forward he looked heavenwards, silently questioning whether it was actually going to be a one night stand, or if by some chance they'd do it again. Cause he wouldn't be wholly against that idea.
Of course there was no way on Gods green earth he was ever telling Sammy. If it did happen again, it was going to be a secret between them. A secret he was confident Cass would keep, no because he was any good at keeping secrets but because there was no way he'd be getting any if Sam found out.
As the Impala rolled out onto the highway on its way back to Sam, Dean's thoughts remained on the angel. The one that had pulled him from hell, when no other could. The one that had rebuild his body and helped strengthen his soul. The one who'd stood toe to toe with him, and shoulder to shoulder. The one he knew he would always be able to count on.
If someone had told Dean the day Castiel walked into his life, that he'd end up being fucked by him, he would have thought they'd meant figuratively, he wouldn't have believed they meant anything else, cause that just wasn't Dean. He didn't do guys. Of course, until Castiel, there were a lot of things Dean Winchester didn't do, pray for example. Just went to show that the blue eyed Angel of the Lord was capable of making Dean do all kinds of things he'd never thought possible.
A/N: Well how was it. It was kind of my first proper love scene without being all metaphorical, which I tend to do when writing them. So I'm a little worried I didn't pull it off. So feed back on this subject would be wonderful.
Thanks for reading, reviewing and faving (if you fave) I'm honoured that you took the time. Big cyber hugs to all of you.