Dealing With Grief

Ronnie/Natalie

The last few weeks had passed by in a haze for M.I.U but the pain was still very much present in the faces of the team. DI Chandler and DS Brooks were taking it alot harder than most. D.S Matt Devlin was like a son to Ronnie and Natalie was always mothering him and he had never objected to either of them. The team were a family pure and simple. It was hard for Ronnie to work alongside his new partner Sam Casey so soon after Matt's death but he did the best he could to welcome Sam to the team as did Natalie.

It was late on a Friday night and Ronnie was just finishing up on his work load. He'd stayed late quite alot recently so that he didn't have to go home and dwell on his grief. He put on his favourite jacket and made his way down the hall when he suddenly saw the light to Natalie's office was still on. He stood quietly in her doorway watching her as she grabbed a file from the top shelf. As she reached up she knocked the files at the end and sent them flying.

"Shit". She Snapped. Bending down to retreive the files.

"Guv let me help you". Ronnie said. Entering her office.

"What the hell are you still doing here. You should have left hours ago".

"What am I gonna do at home other than think about Matty".

Natalie looked at him with sadness in her eyes and gave him a small smile.

"What's your excuse Guv".

"The boys are with their Dad for the holidays. The house is too quiet. I guess it gives me too much time to think too".

"Matt".

"Who else. It's so unfair Ron. All the scum in London and they take our boy. It's like losing one of my own kids. It's so bloody unfair". She said as she began to cry.

Ronnie's heart broke as she began to cry. He wasn't used to seeing his boss like this so he did the only thing he could do. He put the files he was holding to one side and gathered his crying boss in his arms. They sat on the floor in the middle of her office surrounded by files as they grieved for their friend.

"We'll get through this luv. Together okay". He whispered in her ear.

"Sorry Ronnie. I must look a mess". She sniffed.

"Don't ever apologise for how you feel luv and you look as good as you always do". He smiled.

She gave him a small smile and squeezed his hand gently as he smiled back at her and what happened next suprised them both. Their kiss lasted mere seconds but lingered on after the act. They looked at each other with suprise on their faces.

"Erm Guv. I'm not sure what just happened here".

"We kissed Ron".

"I know, I know. I'm sorry". He replied akwardly.

"Ronnie I think we both initiated the kiss. Neither of us pulled away and you don't need to apologise".

"Yeah but your the Guv. We're friends. On the other hand that felt really right".

"It did. Didn't it". She smiled.

"You know what's funny about this".

"What". She asked.

"Matty was always saying how good we'd be for each other. That we were two of a kind. I was always telling him to stop talking rubbish. I think in the end he had a point though". Ronnie said. Sadly.

"I think so too".

"When David walked out and hurt you the way he did I was so bloody angry at him. I wanted to go round there and knock some bloody sense into him. I mean look at you. Your terrific. Your one of the best D.I's in London. Your a wonderful Mum and he goes and treats you like that".

"Well he did Ron. It finally showed me his true colours. He's a good Father I won't deny that but as a Husband he was just never there. Never was I really. We love our work to I did. Since Matt I'm not so sure".

"It will get easier. Over time. As long as we have each other to lean on". He said.

"I hope so".

Ronnie looked down and noticed that Natalie was still holding onto his hand. He rubbed the back of her hand soothing her.

"Come on Nat. We're getting outta here".

"Where are we going".

"Well for a start I'm gonna bet you haven't eaten all day. Am I right".

"No I haven't. I could eat something actually".

"Good".

"Then what". She asked.

"Well that's upto you. We'll eat. I'll drive you home and then the rest we'll take a step at a time".

"There's plenty of food in my house. Just take me home Ron". She said. Her eyes pleading with him.

Ronnie got up from the floor and extended his hand to help Natalie up. They left the office and headed to Natalie's house where they remained until the following morning