The Wicked Witch is Dead

so, this was originally going to be a super long one shot, but in the end i was too impatient and
i decided to just make it a three-parter. i've got two parts written and one to go. if that's too
long i'll make it four. but yeah. this was inspirated by a TTU prompt about a billion years ago,
this one here: http:/i41(dot)tinypic(dot)com/jjtmrn(dot)jpg - and i've been slowly writing it ever since.
i'd really appreciate your feedback on this one, i think it may be my best yet. but anyway - enjoy!

"Where are we going? Doctor? Doctor!"

"Oh, for God's sake, you really are like a five year old sometimes, Rose. All impatient and whatnot. I told you - I need a part for the TARDIS and we're going to get it."

Rose rolls her eyes. "I swear sometimes she's falling apart."

The Doctor narrows his eyes at her, but Rose knows it's all playful. "Oi! She isn't falling apart at all. She just needs some love and care sometimes," he says, and almost dances around the console, flicking switches, pulling levers and hitting the console with a mallet. "Behave!" he says to the TARDIS, and the lights flicker on and off for a moment - the TARDIS' way of saying she doesn't like to be hit, especially with a mallet, thank you very much.

"Love and care, eh? Try and stop abusing her," Rose chides, stroking the console. The TARDIS glows for a moment before coming to an abrupt stop. The Doctor is thrown backwards, hitting his head off the grated floor, but Rose remains upright. She laughs at him, but goes to give him a hand up anyway.

"That's what you get for hittin' her," she says, pulling him to his feet. "Are we here?"

The Doctor nods as he taps out a samba on the console. "Yep," he says, popping the 'p'. "We're here. Outside those doors, Rose Tyler … well, I won't tell you. See for yourself."

"Is this suitable for … wherever we are?"

The Doctor looks Rose up and down, taking in her hair in two messy pigtails, blue gingham shirt, demin mini skirt, and red flip flops. He did tell her to dress for warm weather, after all. "Perfect. Go."

Rose beams, and runs towards the doors, her shoes making a flapping sound as they hit against the floor. She turns back towards him - still looking as adorable as a five-year-old - and peeks her head out the door, and steps out.

Everything is in colour so bright that it physically hurts Rose's eyes to look directly at it. Big bright flowers are blooming everywhere, and there are buildings about the Doctor's height dotted around the outside. The flowers that are planted everywhere are nearly as tall as the buildings, and there is a little stream running through the centre of it, adorned with giant green lily pads. She walks over the bridge - faintly aware of the Doctor quietly exiting the TARDIS behind her - and she finds a golden yellow and blood red brick road, starting in the centre and leading out in a swirl, before separating and heading off in opposite directions. Rose gasps and turns back to the Doctor.

"Where are we?"

The Doctor is squinting, almost blinded. "I don't know.'"

"What do you mean, you don't know?"

"This doesn't seem like the place to get parts. I think we've made a bit of a wrong turn somewhere … " the Doctor trails off, looking around his new surroundings.

Rose's eyes widen in surprise, and she points off in the distance where something is sparkling. "Is that - Doctor, is that a giant bubble?"

He turns to where Rose's finger is pointing, and true enough, a giant bubble is floating towards them. The bubble suddenly pops, and standing there is a woman with a giant pink gown, sparkling in the light, and a jewel crown, and is holding what looked to be some sort of spear, only it has a star on the end where the blade should have been. She is blonde, and is taller than Rose by about four inches. She doesn't seem to acknowledge the Doctor, and walks straight to Rose.

"Are you a good witch, or a bad witch?" the woman asks, her voice sweet but insistent.

"I'm sorry - witch? Me?" Rose points to herself, looking herself up and down. "I'm not a witch! I'm a human, from Earth. Um, Rose Tyler, ma'am. And this is the Doctor." Rose points to the Doctor, but the woman eyes' never leave Rose's.

"Is he the witch?"

Rose bursts out laughing, and the Doctor chuckles, before seeing that the woman is in fact, deadly serious. "Um, no. This is the Doctor. He's my … he's my friend. We're not witches. We're just travellers, passing through."

The woman frowns, and then smiles as if she has no clue what is going on. "Well, I'm a little muddled! The Munchkins called me, you see, because a new witch has just dropped a blue box on the Wicked Witch of the East! And there you see, is the blue box, and there you are, and that's all that's left of the Wicked Witch of the East!"

The woman is pointing over the TARDIS, and sure enough, there are two stripy legs stuck out from underneath the ship, ruby slippers attached and all.

The Doctor nearly chokes. "Oh, I'm so sorry, that - that shouldn't have happened. Um, no, that wasn't meant to happen. That's never happened before. Oh dear."

Rose puts a hand to her head. The Doctor is still looking, horror-struck, at the TARDIS.

"So the Munchkins want to know, dearie," the woman continues, a sweet smile on her face, "Is whether you are a good witch, or a bad witch?"

Rose sighs. "I've told you before, lady, I'm no witch. Do I look like an old hag to you? No warts or hooked noses 'round here, thank you very much!"

There is a high-pitched giggle, and Rose spins around automatically, but it had stopped as soon as it started. "What on Earth was that?" Rose asks, the woman smiles again.

"The Munchkins, of course," she says. "They are laughing, because, well, I am a witch. I am Glinda, the Witch of the North."

Rose looks Glinda up and down. She doesn't look like any witch Rose had ever seen. She looked more like Katie Price on her wedding day, only a lot less trashy. Maybe that's the look she'd been going for? Rose realises the woman is looking at her strangely, and the Doctor coughs. She's being rude.

"Oh, sorry - you're a witch? I'm very sorry - about the old hag stuff and that," Rose says sheepishly.

"It's okay, my dear. Only bad witches are ugly, you know. The Munchkins are happy, because you have freed them for the Wicked Witch of the East."

At this, the Doctor coughs again. Glinda looks at him for the first time. "I'm sorry - they are happy she's dead?"

Glinda looks shocked. "But of course. She's not the Wicked Witch of the East for nothing," she says, and turns back to Rose. "You are in Munchkin Land, and you are their national heroine, my dear. It's all right, you can all come out and thank her," she says, directing her last bit to apparent thin air.

"It was my ship! How come you get to be their national heroine? Surely I'm the one that should be the national hero! Sexism, that's what it is," the Doctor said, only slightly joking. Rose elbowed him in the stomach, laughing, as one by one small people begin to emerge from the trees, the bushes, the houses, and even one came out the drain.

They all began to thank her, one by one, some offering gifts. Rose declines them all with a smile, and the Doctor just stands beside her, struggling to laugh as she gets cornered by Munchkins. She holds his hand for dear life, and drags him around the place as Glinda drags her. Even a Munchkin in golden adorned robes - possibly the President, or maybe the Mayor - comes out and personally congratulates her.

This goes on and on for ages, with seemingly every Munchkin in the land wanting to shake her hand and give her their personal thanks.

Out of nowhere there is another bubble, slowly coming towards them, only this one isn't sparkling - it's pitch black in colour, and when it bursts, a cloud of orange smoke appears. The Munchkins scream, and some lie flat on the ground, some scramble back to where they came from; Rose's hold on the Doctor's hand tightens, unnevered by the Munchkin's high-pitched screaming.

The woman that appears from the cloud of smoke is more like the witches Rose's remembers from the stories she'd read as a child. With a green face, hooked nose, warts, and black robe with matching pointed hat and a broomstick, it is almost so cliché that Rose might have laughed if she wasn't just a little bit freaked out by this whole entire turn of events.

The woman looks around wildly for a moment, before eyeing the TARDIS and heads straight for it. The Doctor steps forward, about to fight for his ship, before he realises that the woman isn't interested in the TARDIS - only about what's trapped underneath it.

Rose turns to Glinda. "Excuse me, G-Glinda was it? I thought you said she was dead?"

"Oh, that was her sister," Glinda says, with a nonchalant wave of her hand. "This is the Wicked Witch of the West. And she's worse than the other one!"

Rose squeezes the Doctor's hand a little bit tighter.

The Wicked Witch of the West turns around at their voices, loathing in her eyes. She walks straight for them, and Doctor stands in front of Rose protectively.

"Who killed my sister?" she hisses, sliding over to her. "Who killed her? Was it you?"

Rose shakes her head rapidly. "No, it was an accident, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to kill anyone!"

The Wicked Witch of the West narrowed her eyes at her. "Well, my little pretty, I can cause accidents too!" She sneers, and raises her arms; and the Doctor slides in front of her a little bit more, and removes the sonic screwdriver from his pocket.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" Glinda chimes in, her voice still sweet despite the situation. "The ruby slippers, perhaps?"

West's eyes light up, her hands still poised in the air and she smiles, although it is more like a grimace. "The slippers! Yes! Of course … " she says, and turns back around the her dead sister, who is wearing a pair of glittery red shoes. "The slippers!"

Rose watches as West walks over to the TARDIS, and just as she is reaching down for the slippers, they disappear without a trace, the feet curling in on themselves and disappearing under the TARDIS.

West starts screaming before the feet have even vanished. "The ruby slippers! Glinda, what have you done with them? They are mine!" She is nearly hysterical as she stalks back over the three.

"It's too late!" Glinda says, still smiling, and she points her spear - or maybe it's a wand? - at Rose's feet, where sure enough, where there was once red flip-flops there are now a pair of red, sparkly, high heeled shoes. "There they are, and there they shall stay."

"What the - how the hell did they get there?" Rose asks, gazing down at her feet.

West clearly isn't happy. "Give them to me, Blondie, you don't know how to use them, they are of no use to you!" There is an edge of pleading in her voice that wasn't there beforehand. She's desperate.

Glinda scowls, and turns to Rose. "You keep tight inside of them, my dear. Their magic is very powerful, and she cannot get a hold of it." Rose nods, looking down once more at her glittery feet. She makes a promise to herself - West must not get her hands on these shoes, no matter what, and Rose will not let her. She looks up at the Doctor, who is looking at West, observing everything that has been going on. Rose wondered how much he was longing to go and touch everything and lick stuff.

West's frown deepened, and a sneer made it's way onto her face. "Stay out of this, Glinda, or I'll sort you out as well!"

Glinda almost snorts. "Pfft. You have no power here. Now, be gone, before someone drops a blue box on you, too." She waves her hand with an almost haughty look on her face.

West looks around, as if there is a box just waiting to land her on. She turns back to Glinda and sneers. "Fine. But I'll bide my time, so I will. I'll bide my time. Those slippers, they will be mine! Oh yes, I'll get you, my pretty little blondie, and your little man, too!"

West walked back slowly, laughing madly all the way, and disappears in a puff of fire and smoke. Glinda smiles, and laughs, and tells the Munchkins they can get up now, for the Wicked Witch is gone.

"God, smell that sulphur," the Doctor says, waving a hand in front of him nose, before he turns to Rose. "Are you okay?" he asks, looking in her the eye, and she nods.

"Yeah," she breathes, looking around. "But I think we best get out of here."

The Doctor nods, and runs to the TARDIS as Rose says her goodbyes to Glinda. He comes out a second later, white as a sheet, and runs a hand down his face.

"We can't leave."

Rose starts. "What do you mean? Is it because we're part of events again?"

The Doctor shakes his head. "The part we were coming for? It was kind of important. Without it, she can't materialise. Landing on such a rough terrain - a person and that - must have broken it entirely. We can't leave until we get that part."

Glinda, who had been following their conversation with interest, coughs lightly. "What part are you looking for?" she asks, her face kind.

"Um - a materialization aerodynamic booster," the Doctor says automatically, and he frowns. "Can you get us the part?"

Glinda laughs, her laugh like a tinkle of piano keys, light and airy. "Oh, no dear, I cannot get you them. But I don't see why the Wizard cannot get you the parts you need to return home. But I do know this - you have made a grave enemy of the Wicked Witch, my dear. The sooner you get yourselves both out of Oz, the safer you both shall be."

The Doctor nods. "Is he good, or is he like that one, with the smoke and the sulpher and stuff? Because that was nasty," he says, and Rose just rolls her eyes. Rude again.

"Oh, no, he's very good, but he's very mysterious. But he lives in Emerald City, my dears, and it's quite a journey from here. Did you bring your broomsticks with you?" she inquires, and Rose almost bursts out laughing again before realising, once again, that Glinda is quite serious.

The Doctor bites his lip, and Rose can tell he's about to laugh, too. "No," he says, shaking his head. "I'm afraid we don't. Harry Potter stole them. Again. Something about needing them for Quidditch. Really should go get them back, actually, but y'know what he's like, eh, Rose?" he continues, and Rose just rolls her eyes once more. Glinda is looking at them as if they are talking seriously.

"Oh, my dears, then you will have to walk. Just follow the Yellow Brick road, and remember, do not let those ruby slippers off your feet for a moment!" Glinda says, and in the half-second it takes Rose to blink, she is back in her shiny bubble again, flying off.

"I think that's their version of a TARDIS," the Doctor quips from beside her, and Rose giggles.

"Maybe," she agrees, and then casts her eyes back to the road. "She said to follow the yellow brick road. I think we better if we ever wanna get away from here," Rose says.

"So we just follow that road?" the Doctor asks, moving over and inspecting the road. "It's just yellow brick," he says, and almost jumps when a Munchkin appears next to him.

"Just follow the yellow brick road," he squeaks, pointing. The Doctor sighs, and extends his hand to Rose, and together, they start off on their journey to Emerald City.

"This is the weirdest day ever," Rose says, not unhappily, as she walks along the brick road - still yellow - with her hand still tightly intertwined with the Doctor's.

"I'll give you that," he says, rubbing his ear with his free hand, "but the sooner I the part for the TARDIS and get us both out of here, the better I'll be. I've got a funny feeling about this place."

"Yeah. Not to mention a crazy witch has taken a sudden disliking to me," Rose says, but the slight smile she's wearing turns to a frown as they reach a crossroads in the road. "Which way do we go? Straight on?"

The Doctor frowns. "I don't know," he says honestly, looking down all three possible routes. They were all identical.

"That way is a very nice way to go."

The Doctor spins around. "What did you say, Rose?" he asks, but is met with a bemused look on the face of his companion.

"I didn't say that! I thought you did," Rose said, her eyes wide, whipping her head around trying to determine the source of the voice.

"It's a pleasant way down that way, too."

Rose starts shaking her head. "Now it's just getting spooky."

The Doctor, however, seems preoccupied by a field - or a scarecrow in the field. "Rose, wasn't that scarecrow pointing in the other direction?"

Rose walks over and stands beside him, looking at the normal scarecrow, looking as though it could have been in any field on Earth. Rose shakes her head. "I didn't pay attention," she says honestly. "But even so - scarecrows can't talk, can they, Doctor?"

He turns to look at her. "Nothing really would surprise me about this place, Rose," the Doctor says, retraining his eyes on the scarecrow.

"Of course, people do go both ways!" the scarecrow says, much to the Doctor and Rose's alarm, and spins his arms so they are pointing in opposite directions.

"Did you just talk?" Rose asks, taking a step forward, aware of the Doctor's hand still in hers, preventing her from going to far.

The scarecrow nods, then shakes his head.

Rose turns back to look at the Doctor, then turns back to the scarecrow. "Are you doing that on purpose, or can't you make up your mind?" she asks.

The Scarecrow sighs. "That's the problem, see, I don't have a mind - a brain. I only have straw," he says, leaning forward and doffing his hat, to show a head of straw.

Rose frowns. "Well, how can you talk if you haven't got a brain?" she asks, genuinely wondering.

The Scarecrow looked stumped at Rose's question. "I - I don't know!" he confesses, and then seems to smile. "But some people without any brains do an awful lot of talking, don't they?" he asks her, and Rose laughs, accepting the fact that this Scarecrow only doesn't have a brain, but he can talk, too.

"I guess you're right," she says, smiling. She lets go of the Doctor's hand and clambers over the gate towards to the Scarecrow - and she knows the Doctor is right behind her. "We haven't introduced ourselves, have we?" she says, and the Scarecrow thinks for a moment before shaking his head.

"Why, no!" he says, and smiles. "How do you do?"

"I'm Rose, Rose Tyler," Rose says, gesturing to herself, "and this is the Doctor. We're okay, thank you. How are you?" she asks pleasantly, thankful that this Scarecrow doesn't seem to be nasty, like the Wicked Witch of the West.

"Oh, I'm not well at all," the Scarecrow says, sounding sorrowful. "You see, Rose, it's very tedious being stuck up here all day with a pole sticking up your back."

"Oh, that must be well uncomfortable," Rose says, sympathetically. "But - can't you get down?"

The Scarecrow laughs. "Down? Well, there's - just right there, there's a - " he gestures to his back, where there is a giant nail holding in the pole.

The Doctor is pointing towards it, and pulled it, so the Scarecrow goes tumbling to the ground.

"Oh, that's very kind of you, Sir," Scarecrow says, as he falls, and laughs as he spots some hay lying around that had fallen out during his rough landing. "There goes some of me again!" he says, laughing as Rose has a shocked look on her face.

"Doesn't it hurt, though?" Rose asks, watching as he scoops it up.

"Oh, no, I just keep stuffing it back in again!" he says, laughing once more. He walks a few steps, taking in the scenery, and then promptly falls over the short fence.

"Are you alright?" Rose asks, a little worried, as she kneels down beside him.

"Oh, yes, I'm fine," he says, before he takes in Rose's worried expression. "Did I scare you?"

Rose shakes her head rapidly. "Oh, no, I was just worried, that's all. Thought you had hurt yourself."

Scarecrow almost seemed to frown. "But I didn't scare you?"

"Um, no, sorry."

"I didn't think so," Scarecrow says, sighing. He looks disappointed. A crow flies over, and perched itself on Scarecrow's head, and he sighs again. "Boo! Scat! Go away! Away with you!" he says, each attempt more pitiful than the last, and it was only when Scarecrow turns to Rose that the crow flies away.

"See!" he says, pointing after the bird, "I can't even scare a crow!"

Rose sighs, and helps him to his feet unsteadily, the Doctor helping with his other arm. As they walk down the yellow brick road, Scarecrow tells them how his life would be so different if only he had a brain. Eventually, Rose's arms become tired from holding him up and she lets go momentarily, only for Scarecrow to go tumbling back down to - well, not Earth.

"Don't be silly," Rose says, as they continued their conversation from earlier about Scarecrow's lack of scaring abilities, "If our scarecrows back in London were like you, we wouldn't have any crows at all! They'd all be scared off!"

"Really?" Scarecrow asks, as Rose nods. "Where's London?"

"It's where I live, usually," Rose says, smiling. "But right now I'm a traveller, and we need a part for our ship. We're travelling all the way to Emerald City to ask the Wizard for the part we need," Rose continues, gesturing to the Doctor and herself.

"You're - you're going to see a wizard?" Scarecrow says, amazed. "The Wizard?"

Rose nods.

"Do - do you," Scarecrow says, looking slightly apprehensive, "think that if I went, the Wizard would give me some brains?"

Rose seems puzzled for a moment. "I don't see why not," she says, after a while, "But look at it this way - even if he doesn't, you wouldn't be any worse off than you are now, would you?"

"Oh, I guess that's true," Scarecrow says, before looking over at the perch he's just vacated. "Oh, no, I couldn't, I have my field to watch over!" He shakes his head, sighing.

Rose sighs, too. "It might be best you don't. I have this evil witch after me, and you might get on the wrong side of her if you make friends with us."

Scarecrow's eyes widen. "A witch? I'm not afraid of a witch!" he says, as though scandalised Rose should think such a thing. "I'm not afraid of anything!" He pauses, looking down at himself, and beckoned Rose and the Doctor - who by now was on the floor beside Rose - closer and pointing to his hay sticking out of his stomach. "Nothing expect a lighted match," he amends, and Rose giggles.

"I don't blame you for that one," she says, as she nods.

Scarecrow sighs. "Well, Rose, I'd face a whole boxful of matches, just for the chance to get some brains!" He clambers up to his knees, a pleading look appearing on his face that melts Rose's heart. "Listen, Rose, I wouldn't be no trouble, because I don't need a thing! I don't have the brains for it! Please, Rose, won't you take me with you?"

Rose sighs, and then she beams. "Well, of course you can come with us!" Rose says, looking over to the Doctor, who nods his agreement.

Scarecrow looks delighted. "Oh, yes! We're off to see the Wizard!" he says, clambering up - slightly unsteadily - to his feet and set off down the yellow brick road. The Doctor smiles, pulling Rose up by the hand, and led her after Scarecrow, who is singing away to himself happily.