All right ya'll, here is the beginning of the rewrites.

I'd like to say thank you to the wonderful beta that helped me put this together, Moonstruck Kitten, she, and her husband, are absolutely wonderful, and I couldn't have done this without them. So again, thank you!

No copyright infringement intended.


Where the fuck am I? My thoughts were groggy as I awoke and sat up in bed. Glancing around the room nothing looked familiar, it was then that I noticed the arm draped over me.

Slowly I looked down, gasping quietly at what -or rather whom- I saw. "Oh, fuck ...!" I whispered, gently sliding out of his embrace, and then from his bed.

I hurried quietly around the room, pulling one article of clothing on while frantically searching for the next. Fully dressed, I made my way downstairs. I found my purse, but as I went to leave reality quickly dawned on me. I had absolutely no idea where I was. Glancing around the open foyer, I searched for something that might indicate where the fuck I was exactly.

I found a magazine lying on a table that had the address and wrote it down. Done with that task, I decided to write a quick note for him. The last thing I needed was for him to come looking for me.

Silent tears of regret fell from my eyes as I walked out the door, pulling my cell out to call the only person I could think of.

"Seth!" I whispered furiously when he finally answered on the seventh ring.

"Bella?" he asked groggily. "Its five thirty in the morning!" I knew what time it was, knew that I was going to wake him, but he was the only one I trusted to keep my secret.

"I know, Seth. I'm sorry, but …" I sighed, not really wanting to go on. "Please tell me you can come and get me. Like, right now!"

Seth huffed, "Where you at, B?"

Looking down to the paper in my hand, I told him. "Fifty-five Cherry Tree Lane."

"Who lives at Fifty-five Cherry Tree Lane?" he asked, clearly curious.

"Just a drunken mistake," I quickly informed, not wanting to answer any questions. "So, are you going to pick me up, or what?"

"Yeah," he sighed sympathetically. "I'm leaving right now."

"Thanks, Seth!"

"Mmhmm," he retorted, moments before the phone disconnected.

I started walking down the driveway, hoping to keep myself a bit warmer … and because I didn't want him to see me.

Fuck, its cold out here! I thought, doing a little jig to keep warm. Duh! Its January 1, in Seattle, you idiot!

Seth arrived half an hour later, and I was on the verge of becoming a Popsicle when the blessed heat from the car finally started thawing my bones. Seriously, whose bright idea was it to wear a skirt, knee high stockings, and chunk heels anyways? So what if it was New Years Eve, it's fucking winter for Christ sake!

The thought of the night before, and what must have happened, had my emotions running high in an instant.

How could I have been so stupid? I thought as tears filled my eyes.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Seth asked, while tears fell down my cheeks.

I shook my head. "I just made a really big mistake … One I don't care to discuss."

"Ok." He smiled sadly, nodding his head, but quickly adding, "If you do want to, you know I'm here, right?"

"I know, Seth." I responded honestly. "Thanks."

The rest of the drive was spent in silence, and before I knew it, Seth was dropping me off at my car. I had never been so relieved to head for home. Once there I crawled directly into my bed and cried myself to sleep.


Around noon, the phone started ringing insistently, of course waking me up. It was my mother, Renee, calling to tell me she was on her way, so grudgingly I got up and took a shower. Once I was done, I pulled on a pair of fleece pants, and a long sleeved shirt, before curling up on the couch to wait for her. About twenty minutes later, there was a knock at the door and I got up to answer it.

"Yah!" I exclaimed excitedly—just as I always did—pulling open the door. "Masen's home!"

There before me stood my three and a half year old son. He was smiling widely at me, holding a McDonald's Happy Meal bag in one hand, and a Chicken McNugget in his left.

"Mommy!" he yelled. I scooped him up, carrying him into the house.

"Did you have fun with Papa and Nana Née?" I asked, hugging him to me, showering him with kisses.

"Uh huh!" he replied excitedly. "We blew whistles and yelled 'HAPPY NEW YEAR'!"

My ears were ringing a bit. "You did? That sounds like so much fun!"

Masen wore a cheesy smile on his face, nodding his head animatedly. "It was so cool."

"Well, that's good." I smiled, placing him back on his feet. "It's great you had fun with Papa and Nana Née … but, I'm so glad you're home. I missed you!"

Masen smiled. "I missed you too, mommy … can I watch Curious George?"

"Sure." I followed Masen into the living room, turning my head to look at Renee. "So was he good?"

"He always is," she responded proudly, placing Masen's drink on his table.

"What time did he go to bed?" I asked, walking towards the kitchen. I really wanted to take a nap, and since Masen never slept well away from home, my chances were promising.

"Oh, about one thirty," she informed, following me into the kitchen.

I pulled a bottle of water from the fridge. "What time did he wake up?" I asked hopefully.

"Seven thirty," she supplied.

I smiled. Yes!

"So did you have a good time?" Renee asked leaning against the countertop.

I glanced up to her, taking a drink from my water bottle before answering. "Oh, uh, yeah." I assume so, considering I woke up in his bed, but fuck if I know!

She eyed me suspiciously, and then asked, "Were you drinking?"

"Um, yeah?"

Renee narrowed her eyes at me, getting all motherly. "You didn't drive did you?"

"Oh, God … No, mom," I reassured. "We, um … took a cab?" Not really sure why it came out as a question, other than I wasn't quite sure how we made it to his place.

"Good," she answered, thankfully not catching on to my question. "Well, I'd love to stay and visit … but, I'm exhausted!"

I laughed. "No big deal. We're gonna lie down and take a nap, so … I'll talk to you later?"


I followed Renee to the door, beckoning Masen. "Masen, come give Nana Née a hug and kiss goodbye." He came barreling at us; flying into his Nana's waiting arms.

"I'll see you later, baby. Be good for your momma," my mom stage-whispered into Masen's ear.

"Okay." Masen gave her a kiss and hug before stepping back.

"Love you." She smiled, walking to the door and opening it.

"Love you, too."

"Have a good weekend," she added on her way to her car.

"You too."


Masen was playing in his bedroom while I washed the dishes from dinner, when I heard a knock at the front door. It was almost eight o'clock and I wasn't expecting anyone, so I curiously looked out the kitchen window. Not seeing a car in the driveway, I made my way to the door, and glanced through the peephole.

"Fuck!" I hissed, stepping back.

This can't be happening to me! I thought pulling my hand through my hair. It can't be happening! What the fuck do I do?

"You could start by opening the door," Edward said from the other side.

Oh god, did I say that out loud?

"What are you doing here, Edward?" I quickly asked, hoping Masen wouldn't hear what was going on and come to investigate.

"Come on, Bella," he called. "Just open the Goddamn door!" I hesitated, looking down the long hallway almost expecting to see the little form of my baby curiously wondering what Goddamn meant.

Fuck! What do I do? I thought as he slammed his hand against the wood.

"For fuck's sake, Bella!" he roared. "Let me in!"

Hoping that Masen hadn't heard, and not wanting Edward to smash down my front door, I sighed and twisted the locks to let him in.

As I took in his panting, still furious form, the previous night came flooding back…

The music was pounding, blasting in my ears as the bass beat in time with the pulsing of my blood. Beth had drug me out to a bar—a little hole-in-the-wall establishment—that had cheap well drinks and a great DJ.

The celebration of New Year's Eve was at its peak when I started to feel that familiar electrical charge. The one that only surged through my body anytime HE was present.

Unconsciously, I started scanning the bar for him. Looking back on it, I'm not really sure if it was more out of instinct, lust, or dread … but either way, I blamed it on the alcohol! I couldn't help the way my body reacted to him; it was naturally drawn to him. It was as it always had been.

This is bad, Bella. Very, very bad! My voice of reason screamed, but I ignored her.

Glancing to the back of the bar, I locked eyes with him. God damn it, why did he have to look so hot?

And he's coming this way! The voice in my head screamed. Oh. My. God. Oh. My. God. OH. MY. GOD!Turn and walk away Bella … Fuck! Run, Bella, run! I tried to walk away, I really did. My feet just wouldn't work, then he was standing in front of me, and I couldn't very well walk away then. Right?

"Bella …fuck!" he said, stepping closer. "You haven't changed a bit."

I smirked. "Oh, that's not entirely true." I knew I'd changed from that girl he remembered, and I wasn't just talking about my physical appearance.

"Bella!" Beth yelled before Edward had a chance to respond. "Hey, Justin asked—" She noticed Edward standing there and stopped talking.

"Sorry, I got side tracked …" I started to explain, gesturing to Edward with my eyes.

Beth smiled. "I can see that."

"Who's your friend, Bella?" Edward asked.

"Oh, um … sorry, Beth, this is Edward Cullen," Beth's eyes nearly fell out of her face, while I rolled mine, turning back to Edward. "Edward, this is Beth Wilson." Edward and Beth exchanged pleasantries, while Beth looked like she was going to shit her pants at any minute.

"Well, let's get our drinks so we can go dance," I said, grabbing Beth's hand.

"Oh, yeah …" she started to say, but hesitated, looking at me. "Justin's, um… buddy… he's having a party; he's about to head over there. He asked if we wanted to go ..."

I know I should, I thought biting my bottom lip, looking to Edward and then back to Beth.

Yes, you should, but you won't, will you? That stupid voice asked.

"Oh, you go ahead, Beth," I replied with a sly grin. "I'm really not in the mood for a party."

"Are you sure?" she asked hesitantly.

"Yes. I'm sure." I smirked. "I'll just get a cab home."

"You're not taking a cab by yourself," Edward snapped. "I can take you home!"

"That's really not necessary, Edward," I informed. "I have a friend that drives a cab on the weekends … he'll pick me up."

"I don't mind."

"It's still not necessary."

"Okay," Beth sighed, glancing between Edward and I before turning back to me. "You call Seth, and I'll call you tomorrow."

I nodded. "I will. Thanks for dragging me out tonight, Beth."

"Yeah," she laughed. "You definitely needed it!" Beth walked away, yelling, "Call Seth!"

Everything after that was somewhat of a blur. A nameless, faceless, drunken binge signified only by flashes of memory and bits of feelings.

I vaguely remember following Edward to his car, and the feral kiss that left me shaking from head to toe with lust.

After that it all became a blur of hands and mouths, and a large amount of, 'Oh, Gods'. My body heated unconsciously just thinking about it, and as much as I tried to deny it, I wished that I did remember.

No, I wasn't happy about letting him in again, but fuck did I miss the feel of him. The way his skin slid against mine. The ecstasy of his cock sliding into me as he slowly rode me into oblivion: I think I missed that the most.

Oh, fuck! Get your head back on straight girl. There are reasons I don't want him here. Reasons that I removed myself from his life. This can never be more than a drunken mistake.

I wasn't even sure we'd made it past the car, but somewhere in there, I distinctly remembered shouting his name as an orgasm ripped through me.

I don't remember anything past that, I'm not sure how I came to be at his house, or in his bed, but I certainly hoped it had been fun. If you're going to make a life-altering mistake, why not have fun doing it?

"Mommy?" Masen questioned, ripping me out of my memories as a gasp came from the man standing by the front door.

Oh, shit!

**Author's Note**

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