Title: iWant an Autograph
Author: slacker_d
Crossover: Criminal Minds/iCarly
Pairing/Characters: Garcia, Reid, Carly/Sam, Freddie, Spencer
Rating: PG
Summary: Garcia's an iCarly fan.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Word Count: 2,500+
Spoilers: just vague general spoilers for both shows
A/N: For IDF. I don't even know. Most of the facts that Reid spouts, I made up. Don't quote them in Trivial Pursuit, because you will lose.

Even though Garcia usually hates being left behind when the team has a case, she's decided that being in the middle of all the violence and grief isn't that much better.

They're in Seattle finishing up a child abductor case. Garcia is along because the first two kidnappings happened at a mall with technology so old school, she has to be there in person to really analyze it.

Fortunately, thanks to her amazing technology skills and the team's awesome profiling, they caught the guy. They even managed to save his third victim before anything too terrible happened to him.

However, despite being nine in the morning, they can't leave for at least three hours. Something about a leaking fuel line. They have the replacement parts; they just need the time to put it in; so the team as three hours to relax.

Because child kidnappings are especially difficult and they're in Seattle, Garcia knows exactly what she wants to do. So she quickly grabs Reid, plus one of their assigned vehicles and goes on a search.

"A search for what, exactly?" Reid asks from the driver's seat.

"The cast of iCarly," Garcia tells him.


"It's this insane web show I stumbled onto late one night," Garcia explains. "I know it's kinda silly and immature, but after the things we've seen, it's a great distraction."


"And I figured since we're here and we have some time, we could try and find them, so I can get their autographs."

"And how do you propose we find them?"

"Fear not, oh intelligent, but young one, for I have all their background info right here," Garcia tells him. "Which means, I have the address for their studio."

"Isn't that a bit stalkerish?"

"I just want an autograph," Garcia says. "Then I'll leave them alone. So I'm going to call it obsessive."

"And you brought me, because?"

"Because the others are too intimating. They all look like FBI agents."

"They areFBI agents. And so am I," Reid points out. "So are you."

"Well, yes, you and I areFBI agents," Garcia agrees. "I even have a badge to prove it. But the others practically scream FBI. And one of the kids is a bit of a juvenile delinquent, so I have a feeling that she's not going to stick around if she sees my chocolate stud muffin coming her way. You and I, on the other hand? Definitely less threatening, so we should be fine."

"I'm not sure if I should be flattered or insulted by your assessment," Reid tells her.

Sam can't believe she's spending her day off of school in front of a store called Kitch-n-Kaboodle. It hurts her to even say the name out loud. She's only here to support Spencer, but she'll admit Carly had to bribe her by promising a smoothie after, followed by a heavy make out session. What makes it worse is that Fredward is here as well; not that it's a surprise. It's just that Sam was hoping to spend her day of freedom as far away from him as possible. But where Carly goes, so goes Freddie.

"Stop pouting," Carly says.

"It's too early," Sam replies. "No one should get up this early when they don't have to go to school."

"I thought you wanted to support Spencer."

"I do," Sam agrees. "Just why can't he need support in the afternoon?"

"Because that's when the store wanted to do it."

"Whatever, once this is all over, you soowe me a large smoothie."

"How can you think about food when you just finished off like a dozen pancakes and half a pound of bacon?" Freddie asks.

"Because I normally eat a full pound, Fredifer," Sam snaps. "Someonetook the other half while my back was turned."

"Maybe if you weren't staring at Carly's ass when she was digging in the fridge, then I wouldn't had the opportunity."

Sam smirks. "You're just jealous that I can and you can't."

"Guys, stop it," Carly says. "No fighting."


"It's Fredweenie's fault," Sam adds. Carly shoots her a disapproving look. "Sorry, Cupcake."

They turn their attention to Spencer who's standing next to the owner, Mrs. Higgins. There's a bigger crowd than Sam expected, thirty people, at least.

As if reading her mind, Carly leans over and whispers. "Socko paid a bunch of people five bucks to hang out for ten minutes."

"How?" Sam is skeptical. "I would've just took the money and ran."

"Which is why Socko had a couple of his buddies stick around as muscle."

Sam reevaluates the crowd. That would explain why there are three very muscular guys dressed all in black looking like bouncers.

"Where is Socko, then?" Sam whispers back.

Mrs. Higgins cuts off their whispers.

"I'd like to thank you all for coming today. I've been the owner of Kitch-n-Kaboodle now for almost fifteen years and each day has been an adventure. Our customers are wonderful and without them, we wouldn't be in business. On that note, we also like to support local talent and our customers seem to appreciate it as well. So I'm very pleased to unveil a unique item to our store's exterior, a sculpture by a local artist, Spencer Shay."

There's applause as Spencer bows, once, twice and then nearly fall over the third time.

"Thank you," he says, pushing his hair behind his ear. "As always, I had a lot of fun making this. And I just want to thank Mrs. Higgins for her commission and her willingness to help me make my art more available to the public."

There's more applause.

"Did you write that, Shay?" Sam whispers.

"Maybe," Carly replies. "Spencer didn't have anything prepared. I just wanted him to sound a bit like an adult—"


"Because it'll help him get more work."

"Duh, Sam," Freddie adds.

"Quiet, nub," Sam growls.

"Sam, be nice."

"That was nice," Sam protests.

They're driving past a small row of stores when Garcia notices a sizable crowd standing outside one.

"Reid, stop the car," she tells him.

He does so. "Why?"

"Look at that crowd," Garcia says, unbuckling and opening her door. "Aren't you a bit curious why they're all standing around?"

"Actually no," Reid replies. "Statistically, the number of times that a small group of people will gather for no particular reason is—hey, Garcia, wait up."

Having not waited for Reid, Garcia strolls over to the small crowd and tries to figure out what's going on. It's not as many people as she initially thought, but still enough that she has to weave in and out to get to the front.

When she reaches the front of the crowd, all she can do is squeal.

The squeal is ear splitting. For a brief moment, Freddie has flashbacks of iCarly shows where he's had to endure Carly and Sam screaming at his camera. It isn't pleasant.

This time, the squeal comes from a brightly colored, outrageously dressed woman standing next to Carly.

"Oh my god! It's really you!"

"Uh, hi." Carly waves awkwardly.

"Sorry. Sorry," the woman replies. "I'm just a huge fan of iCarly."

"Oh, well then, thanks."

"I know I'm being a bit insane. But could I get your autograph?" She holds out a small notebook and a bright pink glittery pen.

"Of course," Carly says, accepting the items. "Who should I make it out to?"

"Penelope, please.'

Just then an awkwardly tall skinny man in a sweater vest appears at Penelope's side."

"I'm taking your ear drum shattering scream as a sign that we're successful?"

"Indeed we are, Mr. Reid," Penelope says. "Indeed we are. Yours as well, Freddie."

The boy smiles; very few people acknowledge the large contribution Freddie makes. He takes the pen and paper from Carly and writes a little note.

"Is Sam here?"

"Yeah," Carly tells Penelope. "She's over there trying to get a free hot dog from that vendor." The brunette beckons the blonde over.

"Sam, this is Penelope and…"


"Really? That's my brother's name. What are the odds?"

"Actually, the name Spencer as a proper name verses a last name is the fifth most popular for my age group—"

"Her brother's only a few years younger than you," Penelope adds.

"Well, than, for ourage group. There are approximately—"

"Reid, sweetie," Penelope interrupts. "Save that for another time."

"Right. Sorry."

"He likes statistics."

Carly just shakes her head in amusement. "Well, anyway Sam, Penelope was hoping for your autograph."

"What's in it for me?"


Penelope laughs. "A hot dog?"

"Done." Sam grabs the pen and paper from Freddie and scribbles on it before shoving it at Penelope, who then hands the blonde a five dollar bill. Sam then takes off.

"Don't worry about the change," Penelope calls after her.

"You didn't have to do that," Carly tells her.

"Actually, since it's Sam, I think I kinda did," Penelope replies. "Don't worry. I watch the show."

"Yeah, I guess you kinda did, then," Carly allows. "So not to be rude or whatever. But you're pretty much an adult. Why are you such a huge fan?"

"Oh, well I spend a lot of time at work looking at very unpleasant pictures. So when I found your site one day, it was a great distraction."

"What kind of pictures?" Freddie asks.

"Serial killers," Reid answers.

"Reid," Penelope chastises.

"Oh. Right. Sorry."

"Well, then, I guess that makes some sense," Carly says.

"Listen, Freddie," Penelope says. "I wanted to tell you that you did a great job on increasing the speed of your servers; it's obvious that you upgraded with Pearware Pro 2.0 versus the regular Pearware you were using before. You can really see an improvement."

"Yeah? Thanks," Freddie replies. "I'm pretty please with it myself. If it wasn't for— wait a minute. How did you know I did that? All people should notice is a faster upload. Most people aren't able to tell what program I'm using just from the site."

"I'm the one that sent the email about it."

"You're AllKnowingOracle?"

Penelope nods.

"Who's the All Knowing Oracle?" Carly asks.

"Her apparently," Freddie replies. "This woman is a computer genius. She's caught all kinds of little things that I've been doing wrong or could do better and emailed me about them. She's part of the reason our site is so awesome."

Carly nods, smiling. "Cool."

"Very cool."

Freddie and Penelope quickly dissolve into a discussion of all things tech. Sam comes back holding two hot dogs and looking extremely pleased with herself.

"Fredwina looks awfully excited," she says in between bites. "Did our autograph seeker kiss him or something?"

"Ew, Sam, that's not appropriate," Carly replies. "They're swapping tech talk. I guess Penelope's given Freddie all sorts of tips about make the show better."

"Too late," Sam says. "I'm bored."

Reid, meanwhile, has wandered over to the gigantic gingerbread house just outside the entrance to Kitch-n-Kaboodle.

After a few minutes, he's approached by a dark haired man about his age.

"So? Whadda think?"

"It's very interesting. Overall, I'd have to say I'm intrigued. At first glance it's simply a very large gingerbread house and while cute, it's also ordinary. However, upon a third and fifth glance, I can see multiple influences throughout."

"Such as?"

"Well, Mondrian obviously. His complexity was usually simplicity at its finest. Things that seem inconsequential are actually the most vital. That is definitely visible here. But I'd say Harry Joyner is certainly the largest influence and the most obvious. He too uses size in his art to comment on societal norms and the affect they have on us as a culture. I'd be curious to meet the artist."

"That would be me," the dark haired man says, holding out his hand. "Spencer Shay."

"Ah, you're Carly's brother. It's a pleasure."

"You know my sister?"

"Not really," Reid replies. "But my friend, Garcia is a fan of her web show? I'm just along for the ride. Spencer Reid, but everyone calls me Reid."

"I've never met another Spencer before."

"Really? Because as I was just telling your sister earlier, the odds of it aren't very high, but I find that coincidences happen far more often than one realizes. Statically speaking most people have a 30% chance of meeting someone with the same first name. If your name is fairly common, like John or Joe, it increases to 75%. And if your name is decidedly uncommon like Kirby or Rueben it drops to just 12%. However, that doesn't take in account—"

"Hey, Spence," Sam says, walking up. "Are we done here? Cause if I don't have to be in Briggs' class right now, I'd rather have the smoothie Carly promised me."

"Uh, yeah, sure, Sam."

"Great. Later."

"Uh, I better go, as well," Reid says. "If they're taking off, Garcia's going to want to go as well."

"Okay. Well nice meeting you, Spencer."

"You as well, Spencer."

Carly is texting when Sam bounds up to her and grabs her arm, causing her to almost drop her phone.

"Yes, Sam?"

"Spencer said we can go. You totally owe me. Let's start with the smoothie."

Carly looks over at Freddie, looking quite animated as he talks to Penelope.

"Don't say it, Carls," Sam says. "I don't care how happy you think Frederica looks. We're going."

"Fine." Carly sighs and walks over to the computer geeks.

"…but that's nothing compared to the speed—"

"Hey, Freddie," Carly interrupts. "I hate to put an end to all this, but Sam's pushing me for that smoothie."

"Oh please," Freddie replies. "She just wants to get to the making out part."

"Freddie," Carly says, blushing.

Penelope lets out an even louder squeal. "Sorry," she says, looking embarrassed. "It's just that now that I know I'm right about you and Sam, Chadwick_Hopper totally owes me twenty bucks."

"Excuse me?" Freddie asks.

"Oh, Chadwick_Hopper and I made a bet. I said that Carly and Sam were a couple and he said they weren't. But now that I have proof, I can totally crush him."


"Sorry," Penelope says, noticing how quiet the two teens are. "I get a bit carried away when I know I'm right."

"No," Carly says. "It's fine. I guess, I just didn't think about fans speculating about my love life."

"That is the price of fame, my friend," Freddie says. He turns to Penelope. "So I'll email you?"


Freddie and Penelope shake hands. Then Carly holds out hers and they shake as well. The other Spencer walks over and says good bye also. And then Carly and Freddie watch the two adults walk to their SUV.

Garcia doesn't say a lot on the drive back, but Reid can tell she's practically bursting with excitement.

"Thanks for tagging along, Reid," she says finally. "I know it wasn't your first choice."

"No, it's all right," Reid replies. "It was an interesting experience and now I've seen a bit more of Seattle."

"Well, thanks. But maybe we could keep this just between us?"

"The rest of the team won't care, Garcia, you know that."

"I do," Garcia agrees. "But they will mock me."

"That's what family does."

Garcia smiles. "Just drive, Reid."