It was 10th grade year,


Sitting in my TV productions class,

Mr. Chacey's class, when

I saw it.

Lauren, one of my best friends,

Since first grade,

Sat to my right.

What we were supposed to learn

From Psycho, I still don't know.

How the principal

Approved Psycho,

Or if the principal

Approved Psycho, I still don't know.

And yet, the crazy old man still shows the movie.

At first, Chacey couldn't find the old VHS tape,

First checking our classroom,

Then his office,

Finally, he found it in his other room.

Nobody really wanted to watch,

Not at first.

Especially not me, I'll admit.

I didn't really pay much attention at first,

Coloring a composition book,

Until Marion came to the Motel.

Norman caught my attention.

The shower was so familiar,

Not just parodies,

But I realized I'd seen it before,

Sort of:

"Hey! So that's where they got the shower part in Charlie and the Chocolate Factory!"

And we all noticed something,

But Nick said it:

"Yeah, right! That wasn't a chick stabbing Marion!"

My classmates and I


Yelling at the TV,

Even though they couldn't hear us

Through the glass screen.

Mostly, we yelled at the screen

During the cellar scene:

To Lila, "No, stupid woman! Don't go in the basement!

That's where all the bad stuff happens in horror movies!"

About Mother, I thought, "OMG! SpongeBob! Nancy Drew! Wait… AAAHHH!"

Thinking of "Chocolate with Nuts" and Secret of the Scarlet Hand.

About Norman playing dress-up, I think it was Max that said,

"Did he just say 'I will lick your face!'?"

It was my 11th grade year,

October, I think,

My mom yelled to me, "Go take a shower!"

I thought, "OK, MOTHER! I'll go take a shower in the middle of Psycho!"

It was just before 12th grade,

Late June,

We had a Yard sale.

I remember it was the Saturday

Just before, or maybe just after, Michael Jackson passed.

During the yard sale,

I wanted to sell some used books,

But nobody bought them.

Mom, sis, and I

Went to a cool 1950's-style


For lunch,

Went to Books-A-Million,

I got two books: Witch Child and Faerie Lord,

Went to Target,

Sis got Sims 2 expansion packs.

We came home,

I recorded Psycho.

On Sunday,

At Katherine's house,

We watched the movie

In her basement.

Her dad tried to sneak up on us,

But he tripped

On a cooler.

I thought two things:

"Mr. Chacey will be showing this

Next year when Katherine's brother

Is in his class. Thomas is

Watching with us now. Chacey

Should pay me! I'm doing his job!"


"Apparently, Hitchcock was crazy.

But, then, Mr. Chacey told my class that…

Chacey's kinda crazy…"

I brought blueberry muffins

Sort of as a joke

About that one time

With movies in the basement

And a birthday muffin.

I brought Dark Knight Uno,

And we watched The Dark Knight,

And a haunted lighthouse show

On Travel Channel,

And Ripley's Believe It or Not,

And Bridezillas.

A couple days later, at her pool party,

I was talking to Zach,

A fan of both The Dark Knight

And Psycho,

When he asked, "Who's Mrs. Bates?"

It was just before 12th grade,


I printed a PDF script

I'd seen online. That night,

It was the first time I'd seen

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

In theaters.

Before Dad and I went that night,

I played The Phantom of Venice.

After we came home,

We watched Ghost Adventures

At the Ancient Ram Inn

And we had Arby's.

It was my freshman year of college,

Second semester, late February,

I helped Tarryn

Change her bed linens,

And then we watched Psycho

In Hanover Hall.

I started my laundry in the basement

And kept running out

For dryer breaks,

And once,

To get my hat like Arbogast's.