I'm sorry I just had to.

*DISCLAIMER* I don't own BBC Sherlock. Gatiss and Moffat do a fine job of writing it, without my Johnlock input.

I love thinking what is going on inside John's head when people imply he's gay. I like to imagine he's having a mini panic attack and questioning his sexuality. There is nothing wrong with me.

So what if I know he's a snorer?

"He's a snorer" How fucking interesting, please tell me more.

"Is yours a snorer?"

Wait what? Why do people always think we're gay…? I mean the fact I know he's a snorer is out of the matter entirely, but seriously, we do NOT act gay. OK so we sometimes hold hands, friends do that right? And on the night after the pool we shared a bed, not like that. And maybe we kiss each other's cheek now and then, ok so maybe we're REALLY close friends, like best friends. That sounds childish. Maybe he is kind of handsome, but that observation is entirely scientific. Not my wholehearted opinion at all. Ok maybe it is. But it's not like we're attracted to each other, he made that perfectly plain when I met him. My thoughts are straying. How do I answer this question? I need a diversion, something quick… actually now I think about it maybe we do act a little gay, just a little. Ok so sharing the bed with him was a lot of gay… and then I woke up and he was hugging me... DIVERSION!

"Got any crisps?"

So yeah there you go, made this in about 5 mins. At the moment it's 21 hours 'till Sherlock and I'm getting exited, hence the Johnlock fics.