AN: I first used these characters in another fanfic, The Caveat at the Crime Scene. You needn't have read that story to understand this one. Hope you enjoy!
"You owe me a hundred bucks," Agent Dan Taylor announced as he strode into the office of Agent Mike Rodrigues. "I'd prefer cash, but I'm willing to take a check."
Rodrigues looked up from his paperwork. Only a few minutes earlier, he had been praying for something to take him away from the endless pile of mind-numbing forms. A visit from his crass colleague, however, was definitely not what he had in mind. "What are you talking about?"
"That thing you said was never going to happen? It happened." Taylor's grin was maniacal. "It happened big time."
"Agent Harris finally moved out of his mom's basement?"
"No, of course not! The other thing you said would never happen."
"You mean…" Rodrigues lowered his voice. "Aliens have taken over the White House?"
"Very funny," said Taylor, though he didn't think it was funny at all. "Stop screwing around! You know exactly what I'm talking about- a certain FBI agent and his smoking hot scientist partner. They can't pretend they're 'just partners' anymore. Why? Because she's pregnant with his kid!"
"You're full of it." Rodrigues returned to his paperwork. "Nice April Fool's Day joke, Taylor, but you're a couple months late."
"I'm not joking!" Taylor protested. "She's totally knocked up!"
"She told you that herself, did she?"
Taylor's grin faded. The sexy squint had never talked to him before, not even once. She was always too busy looking at dead people parts or bickering/flirting with her partner. "No, but-"
"Booth told you?"
"You've been secretly stalking them and you heard them discussing baby names?"
"Just shut up for a minute and listen," said Taylor. "An agent told me that he overheard them this morning at a crime scene. Booth asked her if she wanted him to take her to a doctor, and she told him to stop worrying. She said that morning sickness was common in the first trimester." Taylor's smile reappeared. "Meaning that Booth jumped his Bones' bones."
"Which agent told you this?"
"I never reveal my sources."
"Was it Chase?" Rodrigues guessed. Since the veteran agents knew Taylor well enough to dislike him, it had to be one of the new guys.
"No," said Taylor, trying to keep his expression neutral.
Rodrigues wasn't fooled. "Chase must have been yanking your chain."
"No way. He may be just a kid, but he's an honest one. Pay up."
Rodrigues held his hands out. "Hold on a minute. Even if she is pregnant, that doesn't necessarily mean they did the deed."
Taylor snorted. "You think she got pregnant drinking out of his coffee cup?"
"She could have used the sperm he donated."
"You didn't know about that?"
"Know about what?"
"A couple of years ago, Dr. Brennan decided that she wanted to have a baby," Rodrigues explained. "She asked Booth to be her sperm donor."
"Now you're yanking my chain," Taylor said with a laugh.
"Nope. I have my own sources, and they're very reliable."
"Then why didn't she get pregnant a couple years ago?"
Rodrigues shrugged. "I suppose Booth getting diagnosed with a brain tumor, having surgery, falling into a coma and waking up confused about his identity interrupted her plans."
"What do you mean 'confused about his identity'?" Taylor asked.
"When he woke up, he thought that he owned a nightclub with Dr. Brennan. His wife."
"Yes. And he thought they were having a baby."
"Wow." Taylor let out a low whistle. "That must have been awkward. No wonder he let himself be shipped off to Iraq."
"No, actually, they're two different countries. And I think his return to the service had more to do with Dr. Brennan's decision to go to the Maluku Islands."
"I really thought they were going to get together once they got back," Taylor admitted. "Absence making the heart grow fonder and all that. Then that blond reporter entered the picture. She was easy on the eyes."
"She was," Rodrigues agreed. "Smart, too. But I knew she wasn't going to be around long."
Taylor laughed. "So you're psychic now?"
"Laugh all you want, but I had a gut feeling. I think Booth did too. He never looked at her the way he looked at Dr. Brennan."
"He's still giving Brennan those 'I'd do you right here and now' looks. And now neither one of them is dating anybody else. And she's pregnant. Consider the evidence and you'll come up with only one conclusion: she didn't get pregnant using a sperm bank. No way. Booth made a direct deposit. After all those years of wanting her, he was probably making deposits all night long."
Rodrigues rolled his eyes. "Very classy, Taylor."
"I'm just telling it like it is."
"There's a problem with your argument. If Dr. Brennan were pregnant with Booth's baby, Assistant Director Hacker wouldn't be letting them work together anymore."
"Maybe Hacker doesn't know yet. Or maybe he does know, but he's choosing to overlook the 'no fraternization with fellow FBI agents or consultants' rule because their solve rate is so high. It has to be Booth's kid! Why else would he be willing to take her to a doctor?"
"Because he's her partner, her friend, and an all around decent human being," Rodrigues argued. "He'd be supportive of her and concerned about her health no matter who the father was."
"Who else would Brennan be sleeping with?" Taylor asked. "She ain't exactly a social butterfly."
"Excuse me, gentlemen."
Taylor and Rodrigues' heads slowly turned, their eyes confirming what their ears already knew-that Booth was standing in the doorway.
Stay cool, thought Taylor. Maybe he didn't hear what you said just now about his girl. Maybe he only wants an update on the Beeton case. Yeah. That must be it.
Blessed Virgin Mary, thought Rodrigues. Please pray for me. I don't want to get shot.
Booth said nothing for several seconds as he glared at both agents, making each feel as if he were a suspect in the interrogation room. "I couldn't help overhearing you as I walked by. You want to tell me why you're discussing my partner's sex life?"
Taylor froze in fear. "Uhhh…we were just…we were wondering if she was…" He couldn't bring himself to say 'pregnant.'
"Available," Rodrigues finished for him. "We both admire and respect Dr. Brennan very much, and we were just wondering if she was seeing someone right now."
"Sorry to disappoint you," Booth said with a smile. "But she is in love with someone, and that lucky guy isn't going anywhere. So I suggest you stop gossiping about my partner and get back to work."
Rodrigues understood that it wasn't so much a suggestion as an order. "Yes, sir."
Taylor, however, couldn't let it go. "See?" He said after Booth had walked down the hall and around a corner. "He admitted he's banging Brennan!"
"He didn't actually say that he was the lucky guy," Rodrigues pointed out.
"Sorry, Taylor, but until I have proof that Booth and Dr. Brennan are more than partners, my money stays with me."
One month later, Rodrigues walked into Taylor's office and placed a hundred dollar bill on his desk.
"YES!" Taylor grinned as he snatched up the bill and put it in his wallet. "What finally convinced you?"
"My sources told me that Booth informed Assistant Director Hacker of Dr. Brennan's pregnancy," Rodrigues explained. "Booth admitted that he's the father-"
"Ha! I knew it!"
"Yet he requested permission to continue working with her. He swore on his badge that they wouldn't let their personal relationship interfere with their work."
"Of course he did. What was Hacker's response?"
"He wasn't thrilled by the news. Apparently he'd asked Booth once if there was anything going on between them and Booth said no. But ultimately he decided that their partnership was too successful to sever."
"Didn't I tell you that was going to happen?"
"You were right," Rodrigues admitted. "Now let me offer you a piece of advice. Use some of your newfound wealth to buy something for Booth and Brennan's baby. I have."
Taylor blew air out of his lips. "Why? Dr. Brennan makes more money from one book than I'll make in a lifetime. She can afford to get everything the kid could possibly want or need."
"True, but if you get a gift for the baby, you might be able to get back in Booth's good graces. My sources say he's still mad at us for discussing his baby mama's sex life. Do you want a former sniper mad at you? Think about it."
The following day, Taylor went to a toy store during his lunch break. Less than ten minutes later, he bought a rattle, the cheapest thing he could find.
The rattle was in the shape of a clown.
Thanks for reading! All comments are greatly appreciated.