Title: Not the Norm
Pairing/Characters: Brittany/Santana, Puck
Summary: Every time Puck's in town, he has dinner with Brittany and Santana.
Disclaimer: Not mine.
Word Count: ~1,200
Spoilers: None for glee, all of Company
A/N: Unbeta'ed, so all mistakes are mine.
Puck enjoys his life on the road. His band is getting more and more attention as the number of gigs increase. He doesn't really keep in touch with anyone from high school and he's fine with that. But he does enjoy having dinner with Brittany and Santana when he's in town. It's simple and easy, just like it's always been with them.
"Not that we're not glad to see you Puckerman," Santana says. "Because we're not. But why do you only visit us when you're in town?"
"Yeah," Brittany adds. "What about Kurt or Quinn?"
Puck shrugs. "You guys are just easier to deal with."
"Maybe I am," Brittany says. "And Quinn and Kurt are quite…what word do I want, San?"
"Annoying as shit?"
"That's three words."
"Who cares, Lopez?" Puck interrupts. "We have dinner. We drink. We chit chat. What's wrong with that?"
"Nothing, I guess."
"Besides, it's only a few times a year."
"Whatever," Santana says. "At least you stopped thinking as yourself as hot shit."
"The same could be said for you."
"And referring to yourself in the third person," Brittany adds.
"Definitely," Santana agrees.
Just then a basset hound comes bounding into the living room, closely followed by a white duck.
"I still can't believe you're able to keep a duck in this place," Puck remarks.
"Why not?" Santana asks. "We own the damn apartment and both animals are well behaved."
"Still, it seems like the sort of thing they frown on."
"I have my ways," Santana says.
"Yeah, we have to pay an extra pet fee every month," Brittany adds.
"Why hasn't the dog-"
"Mallard," Brittany volunteers.
"Why hasn't Mallard eaten the duck-"
"Arf," Brittany tells him.
"Why hasn't Mallard eaten Arf? Did you intimidate them into getting along?" Puck jokes.
"No, silly," Brittany says. "They grew up together. They're best friends."
Puck shakes his head. "Your kids are going to be so weird. Where are the little rug rats, anyway?"
"Izzy is sleeping because that's what toddlers do at this time of night. Jack is spending the night at a friend's. And Charlie is in his room playing video games."
"Charlie is eleven. And very responsible," Santana replies. "He's fine. If he needs something he knows he can come down and interrupt us if necessary."
"I still can't believe you have three kids," Puck says. "And a dog and a duck. You're so fucking domestic, it's disgusting."
"It makes me think maybe I should settle down," Puck continues. "Stop trying to make it as a musician, stay in one place, find me a nice gal like Britt here to become domestic with."
"Whatever you say, Puckerman."
"I'm serious," Puck insists. "In fact, if you guys ever break up, I'm snatching Britt up for myself. So when it happens, I want to be the first to know."
Brittany stares at him and then glances at Santana.
"You're the first to know," Santana says, wryly.
"We're getting a divorce," Brittany says.
"We haven't told anyone yet."
"Well, uh, great then. Or not. I'm sorry to hear that. I can't imagine how you must feel. Or how I feel. Or… Maybe I should go."
"Only if you want to," Brittany says. "It's still pretty early."
"Yeah, I think I'm going to go," Puck tells them as he stands. "I'll just see you guys the next time I'm in town." He thinks about what he's just learned and awkwardly blinks at the couple. "Or whatever."
"Night, Puck," Brittany says. "Nice to see you again."
"You too, B. Take care," Puck says. "Lopez."
"Puckerman. Try not to get too many STDs on the road."
"Thanks for your concern, Lopez."
The next time Puck is in town, he calls Santana again. He's apprehensive, because he doesn't really keep in touch and the only time he really talks to Santana is when he's in town, wanting to get together. All he can think about is the awkwardness of the situation last time, but he calls anyway.
Santana greets him enthusiastically and invites him to dinner like normal. He's surprised that Santana still lives in the same place, he thought for sure that she'd find a new place and let Brittany stay. It seems Santana's a bit meaner than he thought.
On his way over, he stops at the liquor store. He gets wine for dinner and Scotch for after. He considers buying flowers as a gesture, but he's pretty sure Santana would smack him with them. Plus, between the wine and the Scotch, he has no way to carry anything else. Maybe he should have gotten one big bag instead of two smaller ones.
He slips in the building as someone's leaving and walks up the five flights of stairs instead of waiting for the slowest elevator he's ever seen. He's not sure what to expect and hopes it's not too uncomfortable. Sighing, he raises the wine and uses it to knock on the door.
Puck's confused, but he goes with the flow. He's incredibly shocked when Brittany answers the door. He simply hands her the wine and follows her into the kitchen. He sets the Scotch on the counter and pours himself a glass.
In the living room, Santana smacks him on the back in greeting. They all sit and Puck talks about what he's been up to since he last saw them.
"And what about you guys?"
He doesn't want to bring up the divorce thing. He's starting to think it was just a ridiculous practical joke they played on him. He's kind of annoyed they got the best of him.
"Just got back last week from Mexico," Santana says.
"Business or pleasure?"
"Both. Sort of," Brittany tells him.
"Yeah, I went down there to get our divorce, but it was so amazing, I called B and had her come down and join me."
"It was a blast," Brittany adds. "We stayed for ten days, drinking Tequila and lounging on the beach."
"So you guys are divorced?" Puck asks, confused.
"We said we were going to," Brittany says.
"So where are you living now, Santana?"
"Here of course," she replies.
"Of course," Santana continues. "I have Britt and the kids to look after."
"Yeah, but you guys are divorced now."
"So?" Brittany asks.
"That doesn't mean I don't have responsibilities."
"I guess that's true…"
"I still love Britt," Santana continues. "And there's the kids to think of, of course. I couldn't leave them."
"Yeah, but… you're divorced," Puck points out.
"We're so much more married now than we were when it was official," Santana tells him.
"It's just," Puck says. "If you want to be together, why did you get a divorce? It seems… it's confusing is all."
"We don't need a piece of paper or some judge telling us what our relationship means. Just because we don't follow the norm, doesn't mean we don't love each other or our kids."
"Yeah, I know, it's just… confusing."
"You mentioned that," Santana points out.
Puck holds up his hands in defeat. "Fine. I've never really understood you two, anyway."
"Damn straight," Brittany says.
And so Puck sits back and lets the two regale him with tales of their time in Mexico. All in all, it's a much better evening than Puck expected.