Don't Be A Girl About It
Disclaimer: I own nothing. These characters belong to the creator of Glee.
Celibacy Club Talk
The last thing that Emma wanted to do was go to the Celibacy Club meeting that afternoon. How was she supposed to preach to the younger girls about keeping their innocence when she herself felt that her relationship with Will had fallen through simply because she would not give him her virginity? It made her second guess everything, it made her want to give away her virginity despite how terrifying it was, so how could she go into that room and preach that they should not give away their innocence to keep the men in their lives when she wanted to do the same at this point?
Suddenly Will knocked on the door to her office and large brown eyes widened considerably as she jumped and turned to look at him. "Oh hello there Will, um I uh I need to be going."
"Em, we really need to talk about what happened." He stated softly, reaching out to gently touch her on the arm.
"No." Emma stated as she physically flinched away from his touch. She refused to allow him to sweet talk his way through this. They were supposed to be getting married and then he tells her that he cannot marry a girl that he cannot be intimate with? "Will, there is nothing to talk about. You canceled our marriage because I was um too nervous to uh." She glanced away before awkwardly saying. "You know."
"I know, but Em I didn't mean that I wanted to end things between us. I just want to work on being intimate with each other before getting married." Will stated. "I want to be with you, I love you, it's just sex is important in any relationship, you must know that."
"I do Will, I do." The redhead stated as she blushed at the usage of the word "sex" before moving toward the door. "I really do and that is why I think that you should simply be with a girl who would be able um to give you uh you know what you um what you need."
"What I need is you." Will said with honesty in his eyes.
"I know you keep um you keep saying that you need me, but this keeps happening and I uh I just think that maybe we both need some time to work on ourselves." With that Emma made her way out of her office toward the Celibacy Club meeting room where she would be forced to give advice that she no longer knew if she believed herself.
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Rachel was beyond heartbroken; she had just found out that Finn had slept with Santana again. After everything that they had been through she had expected him to wait until she was ready to sleep with him, because he claimed that he loved her and that was supposed to be enough. Yet, it had not been enough.
"Rach, I was drunk and she was all over me. I don't even remember what happened; I mean maybe nothing even really happened." He tried as he followed the storming girl down the hallway.
"Do you expect me to believe that you woke up with Santana naked in her bed after a night of alcohol induced fun but absolutely nothing happened between the two of you?" She asked clutching her books tightly against her chest as she tried her hardest to hold her chin up high and take the news with confidence, it was difficult though. It hurt her, he had hurt her for the last time.
"Well yeah, kinda." Finn said. "I mean I don't even think anything happened."
"I may not be as experienced as some Finn, but I am well aware that something happened in that bedroom and honestly I cannot blame you."
"Really Rach—what?" He asked confusion written across his features as his girlfriend turned to look up at him.
"Well it is obvious that you have been craving sexual attention that I have been unable to provide for you and seeing as you are only a male I can expect you to stray in order to find that elsewhere, but truthfully Finn I thought what we had surpassed that physical need and desire. I thought that you loved me." Her large brown eyes started to fill with tears and her full bottom lip quivered momentarily, but she quickly pulled it together straightening her shoulders and turning around.
"Rach I do love you!" He shouted following her as she started to storm down the hallway once again.
"I do not believe you Finn, for if you loved me as much as you claim that you do then you would not have needed to cheat on me with Santana. You are already fully aware that I feel unattractive in comparasin to her and inadequate sexually—"
"—What are you saying?" Finn questioned reaching out and holding onto her forearm as to stop her from storming away from him.
"I am saying that I believe it is time to put an end to this relationship once and for all."
"Wait, Rach I really do love you." He tried but his words fell on deaf ears as the brunette diva made her way down the hallway toward the Celibacy Club room. She said nothing more to him knowing that if she did she would end up breaking down in tears and giving into him once more, it had to stop there. She had her future to think about and all of her dreams and she could not allow anyone to drag her down. Walking into the room she closed the door behind her and took her seat across from Quinn in the club.
As Emma made her way into the room and seated herself at the front of the club, Rachel watched her closely. Noticing that the redhead seemed to be all the more nervous than usual as she started to fidget uncomfortably and look around the room.
"Are you alright Miss Pillsbury?"
Glancing up large brown worry-filled eyes met Rachel's and she smiled softly, trying to remain strong for the other girls. She was supposed to be a positive influence on them after all. "Yes, I am quite alright. Is there um anything that you girls would like to talk about today?"
Quickly the diva's hand shot up and a look of determination covered her face. "Actually, yes, Miss Pillsbury. I have a question about relationships. You see, I recently was forced to end things between Finn and myself due to his need for promiscuous desires and my lack of giving into said desires whilst someone else easily did so, and I was curious if this is something that I will need to give into in order to keep my leading male interested in me? While I would hate to give up my moral standpoint on this situation I also wish to have a serious loving relationship while I am still young—"
"—Rachel you should not give in to him just because it is what he wants!" She practically shouted before blushing brightly and looking toward her hands that were fidgeting nervously. She could feel both girls eyes fixated on her now. "Um well, what I mean is, uh. You should not give up your innocence until you are ready to do so, it should be a mutual um feeling of desire." The councilor finished with a forced smile as she tried not to relate the situation to her own.
"See, that is the perplexing thing Miss Pillsbury."
"What is that?" She mumbled softly her large brown eyes still cast downward awkwardly. Honestly she wondered why she ever taken over the Celibacy Club when she was so uncomfortable talking about sex, she supposed that she had assumed they would not talk much about sex. She had been wrong, that seemed to be all that they talked about.
"I am uncertain I feel that mutual desire toward him. I mean I know that I care for him and that I of course love him, yet when he kisses me I do not feel that heated desire drawing me toward him, needing to have more with him like you witness in the movies. That need is not there with Finn and I and I do not understand it, is that not the way that love is supposed to be?"
Quinn let out a groan from across the room and large brown eyes glanced across catching hazel eyes. "Do you have an inquiry Quinn?"
"You really want to know what I think?"
"Yes, I do wish to know." She stated honestly, any opinion would help her understand what she was going through at this point.
"Just wait. I mean look what happened when I compromised my feelings. It isn't an ideal situation, trust me." With that the bell rang and the blonde stood from her seat pushing it back in and never taking her hazel eyes away from large passionate browns, hoping that she would read how honest she was being. Hoping that she would be able to tell how difficult and complicated sex could be.
After the other girl left the room the short diva chewed on her full-bottom lip watching Emma's actions. She could tell that something was bothering her as she stood to her feet still fidgeting uncomfortably. "Well I um, I suppose that I will see you next week?"
For a moment Rachel paused debating on whether she should bring up the strange actions. Finally, not one to hold back, she moved to the door before the redhead could evacuate the room. "Miss Pillsbury, are you certain that you are alright?"
"Yes, of course Rachel. I couldn't be better." She forced a smile for the student's sake. The councilor hated how she often felt she was the one being helped in sessions rather than the children she was supposed to be helping.
"You seem a little off." Pausing she added. "More so than usual."
"No, I am quite alright." She laughed uncomfortably eying the door with her large brown bush baby eyes.
"Well, I am not alright and I would actually love it if we could talk some more on this subject in your office."
"Rachel." She stated cautiously.
Emma lifted her hands pressing her fingers together as she chewed on her bottom lip completely uncomfortable with the situation. It was absolutely too close to what had recently happened with Will and herself for her to wish to speak about it. Still, it was her job to be there for her students when they were in need of help in difficult life situations. So begrudgingly she stated. "Alright fine, let's go to my office."
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Authors Note: This is a totally random idea… I am going to try my hardest to make it believable… but I will understand if it does not come off that way considering. Lol I just figured I would give it a shot! Hope that y'all like it! I know it will be unpopular so if y'all wanna read more please leave some feedback!