Eat the dirt
"No… don't. D-don't do that."
Ronove drew away from Battler slowly; lips parted slightly, that faint blush still spread across his cheeks. Ronove's hair, usually so neat and ordered, was a mess; black strands no longer tucked behind his ears, but framing his face in a disorderly chaos that was surely inappropriate for a demon of his status.
It wasn't just his hair, though.
Everything about Ronove at that moment was probably inappropriate for somebody of his status.
His coat had been discarded some time before. It was too thick and far too warm; almost oppressive.
His breathing was heavy; slight shudders wracked his body; his bare fingers were divested of their usual gloves, and shoved down the front of Battler's pants- and still caressing the other's painfully hard cock.
A great demon such as Ronove should never make a spectacle of themselves in such a disgusting manner. He was a noble of hell- but it was impossible to feel particularly 'noble' or refined with his hand round Battler's dick.
Nobody would have ever dreamed to use a respected noble like Ronove for something sordid like this.
But Battler had.
Battler had ordered him.
And Ronove, despite his pride, couldn't disobey. He had to listen to Battler, regardless that this went completely against his character. His own personality didn't matter all that much when the territory lord was issuing him orders.
Whether he wanted to or not, he had to fulfil them… because he was only furniture… …
This was what Battler, Ronove's current master, wanted him for- so he had to comply.
This wasn't the first time Ronove had done this for Battler, either. It must have been the third or fourth- though Ronove wasn't quite sure. Even though he was reliable, and had a good memory, he had been trying very hard to avoid thinking about… this, so he had forgotten the exact number.
Perhaps that was for the best.
It was easier forgetting about painful, embarrassing experiences than remembering them and being miserable.
It didn't really matter how hard Ronove tried to forget, though. The exact same thing would only happen the following night- with very little deviation.
Ronove, still unsteady and unsure, would run his fingers down the front of Battler's pants; teasing his cock into an erect state, which never took very long- and then there would be more direct touches, as Ronove slipped a hand down Battler's pants and brought him to his climax in a shower of breathy moans and gasps.
The noises were all courtesy of Battler, of course.
Ronove never made a sound. He couldn't- because Battler had told him not to. So, the demon butler tried to exercise all his self control and remain silent- but… i-it wasn't that easy. Not when Battler's body was shuddering at his touch, pliant and needy; head falling limply against Ronove's shoulder weakly; face bright red; reaching his orgasm with Ronove's hand round his cock and releasing semen over his fingers.
Even the most composed person couldn't have remained silent and unaffected by a sight like that. It was almost impossible.
But Battler didn't want Ronove to make a sound.
He didn't want Ronove to do anything other than touch him, over and over; and who cared if Ronove wanted anything more, because this was meaningless anyway.
Furniture shouldn't make sounds.
Furniture served their masters, but had no needs of their own- because Battler hadn't permitted Ronove to feel anything more. He had said it quite clearly himself. Feelings would only make things complicated.
So there were no feelings.
At least, there shouldn't have been.
This was only a 'business transaction', after all; a mutual agreement, because Battler really was desperate enough to need some intimacy like this and Ronove simply couldn't say no.
It wasn't as if these sordid interactions involved any trace of love. 'Love' was just a delusion, after all- as Ronove was only too well aware.
There was nothing loving about this.
It was cold and impersonal- and when Ronove felt he might have felt the faintest flickering of pleasure from seeing Battler so weak and vulnerable and red-faced and helpless he had to bite the inside of his mouth to stop himself making a sound.
Battler always had his eyes closed, so he couldn't see Ronove's face.
He wouldn't let Ronove talk, so he couldn't hear his voice.
In the end, it didn't matter that Ronove was doing this for Battler at all. It could have been anyone.
The one person Battler wanted to be with was dead.
Ronove was just a substitute.
Battler wasn't deriving any pleasure from this because he with Ronove.
Battler was only able to orgasm because he was forcing himself to believe the person sliding their fingers up his shaft and drawing those noises from his mouth was her.
That was why, during this session, Battler had told Ronove to stop; his voice firm, impossible to argue with.
Ronove must have crossed some kind of line when he, in a small attempt to make this seem slightly less heartless and impersonal… reached forwards- and drew Battler into a soft kiss.
It didn't last very long. Battler soon pushed Ronove away with both his hands; and they were resting, now, curled at the front of Ronove's shirt- forcing him to keep his distance.
"D-don't do that," Battler repeated. He was stammering slightly; still light-headed from the sensation of friction and fingers sliding over his cock- but he was able to keep his voice surprisingly authoritative, given his flustered state. "I'm not… into that."
"But…" Ronove lowered his gaze; fingers still ghosting down Battler's erect penis, but the whole act felt so unnatural and unattached from Ronove himself he wasn't giving it much attention. "This might sound too forward, so please forgive me, but… perhaps I do…?"
"D-don't talk about this now," Battler hissed. His voice was breathless and airy- but the venom still carried across perfectly well. "I-I don't want to… to… …"
"You don't want to be reminded I'm me…?"
"S-shut up; j-just shut up, I-I… I… a-aah…"
Battler's voice trailed away into a helpless gasp as Ronove applied more pressure than usual; now holding him tightly; moving more quickly, more aggressively. All of Battler's thoughts ran together and collided, just like a train wreck- h-he could hardly think anymore, he barely even remembered his own name; but if he kept his eyelids shut tightly, he could still fool himself into imagining this was Beato and he wasn't alone; he hadn't killed her, he hadn't…
I-it wasn't his fault… …
"Yes, you keep telling yourself that, Baaattler, gyaha~ You tell yourself it wasn't your fault- but it was, you know?"
"Ah, but it's okay~ Seeing you this hopeless, writhing under my hand, is all the payment I need, seeee? Gyahaha~ Aaah, you like to pretend you're such a strong, tough maaan, but really you're just pathetic; it's so pathetic, I can force you make such interesting noises all by changing the pressure of my haaand, ufufufu~ You better thank me for this later, okay? You better get down on bended knee, kiss the tips of my shoes, and glorify my name~"
"H-haha… ihihi… Y-you bitch… Your name is way too long to glorify anyways, I-I'm really not interested… aa… w-what a paaain… …"
"Hn? Fine, then? You don't wanna? You really dooon't? Theeeen… I'll stop~ Uufufu~"
"Hn? Don't what? What do you want?"
"Don't… don't… D-d-don't start doing that if you're not even gonna finish! T-that's… aah… t-that's low, even for you…"
"Oh? Fufufufu~ So, despite your tough talk, you still want me that much?"
"Say it~ Go on, Battler, saaaaay it, or I won't do anything~ I'm a fickle person you know; maybe I got bored playing with you!~ But if you glorify my name, then I'll play with you aaaaall you want! I'll make you furniture and love you and cuddle you and cherish you until you turn into ashes, and then I'll resurrect you again and again and again and do the same thing, over and over~ Gyahahahaha! How fun, that sounds like too much fun! But I'm not gonna play around with a stupid virgin like you if you don't say 'thank you, Witch-sama'. Can you say it?"
"L-like… l-like hell I-I would ever say something so embarrassing, ihihi… A-a guy has to have some pride, you know…"
"Sure, sure, 'pride'. How nice. How funny~ I didn't see much of that 'pride' when you were all red-faced and your dick was hard in my hand, keke~ Funny how that works, huh? Humans are so interesting…~"
"B-beato… B-beato, you bitch, g-get back here…!"
"So you'll say it?"
"I… I… …"
"Hey, come on, Battler… Come on… … You did break your promise, right? You… should be thankful that I'm still so nice. You should be happy. So, you should at least say it… so I know you're being serious."
"H-ha… hahaha… t-trying to guilt-trip me now? W-what happened? So now you're a cute, wide-eyed innocent girl?"
"Well, they're both parts of my character~ I'm not sure, what type of girl do you like the most? Do you like a mean witch who'll chain you up and poison your cookies, or a cute girl who blushes and stutters when you pat her on the head? Maybe I could be both, maybe… … But I'll be neither unless you say it. Go on. Glorify my name. Go on, go on, go oooooon!"
"And you. You're still hard, riiight? Kukuku~ So needy."
"N-ngh… gaah… a-ah, okay… f-fine… F-fine… …"
"What? What's fine? Say it, say iiiit!~~~"
"Ah, um… T-thank you, witch-sama… P-please, don't stop… … ahehehhh…~ How was thaaat? Ihihi…"
"… … pffttt, ahahahaa~ Aww, my stupid husband looks so cute when he begs for a little attention from his beautiful wife~"
"S-stop laughing at me, t-this is kind of killing the mood! J-just- a-aa… aaa… B-beato… …?"
"Well… muu… you did say it. And, unlike you… … I keep my promises."
"B-bea… aaa… …"
And, gasping the name of a dead woman, Battler was brought his shuddering climax. He no longer had the strength to keep himself sitting upright; and, trembling, his head fell against Ronove's shoulder with a light bump.
But… unlike the previous times before, Ronove did not hold Battler in his arms silently until he'd stopped shaking.
He didn't indulge in this mockery of 'romance' that didn't exist.
Instead… fingers sticky, face flushed, and eyes burning slightly… Ronove did the exact opposite.
He pushed Battler away- and held his exhausted form firmly, by the shoulders.
Battler blinked at Ronove tiredly; eyes half-lidded from exhaustion, and filled with confusion. Obviously, he was surprised at this sudden change in their schedule- and Ronove, too, was a little shocked at his own behaviour-
But he could no longer obey Battler's orders.
He couldn't remain silent anymore.
It wasn't in Ronove's nature to be follow his Master's commands to the letter. Whenever Beato ordered him to act before, he would always do so with a small smile and a teasing comment or two that made the irritable young girl glare or pout or fold her arms.
So… why had he blindly obeyed Battler?
It was true he was 'furniture'- but he was a demon, too; and he was definitely more than the mute, spineless servant Battler had been treating him as. Why had Ronove played that part at all? Why had he allowed himself to be humiliated; acting out Battler's each and every whim, whilst knowing at no time during it Battler was not thinking of him at all?
Maybe it was because… of how he felt…
Stupid feelings made people do stupid things; and 'love' really was the most powerful emotion that could make people do the most bizarre actions, that went against logic and common sense and even basic self-preservation.
Battler had said there was no 'love' in this- and maybe that was true for him, but… …
I-if it had been true for both of them, this wouldn't have been nearly as difficult.
"I… apologize, Lord Battler," Ronove said; gaze slipping almost shyly from Battler's face to the bed shets. "However, I… hm… I-I don't particularly want to do this anymore."
Ronove's shoulders were shaking slightly; his appearance dishevelled; face bright red; as if his usual, composed appearance had been torn off- revealing something weaker, and far more emotional, far more delicate, underneath.
So, it seemed even demons with enigmatic smiles… … had feelings, too.
They were just buried quite deep down under their masks- and it took a lot of damage to unveil them. Sometimes, demons of Ronove's calibre would retain their eerie smirks or insolent personalities even whilst being tortured- because they were so prideful they would never allow themselves to succumb to weaker, more human emotions.
Ronove was no real exception to the rule.
And yet, despite that… Battler had managed to expose this side of Ronove's character in only a matter of days.
If the other demons of Ars Goetia could see to what lows one of their most highly ranked comrades had fallen to, they surely would have laughed- or turned their noses up in scorn and distain. So would the witches who coveted Ronove's attention; who fantasized about the cakes and pastries he served, and saw him as an ideal butler.
This was quite a fall from grace for somebody so revered and respected, Ronove knew it… … and it made his skin crawl.
It was worse, far worse, that Battler had been able to make him do this merely by asking.
Ronove hadn't tried to fight against it at all.
Now, it was simply too much… …
"W-what do you mean?" asked Battler, with a small frown; voice thick with exhaustion, lashes fluttering. "I thought we had this… arranged…?"
"We did, but… ah… It's not a scenario I… particularly want to be in…" A soft sigh; though it sounded horribly tired… and broken down. "Mm… Call me old-fashioned, but… I always assumed, for relationships like this one to work properly, there had to be some degree of love in it… ….? Though, I'm sure not everyone feels the same… Well. I am a gentleman, before I am a demon, and… I dislike situations like this. A lot. Aha… …"
Ronove's laugh was hardly sincere. It was cold and self-deprecating; betraying a sense of misery that was enough to make even Battler flinch.
"W-what do you mean? We already decided there was no 'love'. I said there was no 'love'- that'd just fuck everything up even more, and I'm already confused enough as it is," said Battler; unsure, exactly, of what Ronove was trying to say- or how he should respond. "It's not like this is a real 'relationship'. This is just sex. It doesn't mean anything."
Ronove's shoulders stiffened; fingers curling tightly into fists, as his fingernails bit into his flesh.
"I am… aware of that… I'm not foolish enough to delude myself feelings exist between us that don't," said Ronove; and, despite his small smile, his voice was raw and incredibly sincere, in a way that made Battler shudder. "And that… is why I don't want to do this. Because it doesn't mean anything to you. And maybe I… … maybe I, being rather foolish… wish it did. Because… … it means something to me."
It took Battler's brain a few moments to work out what Ronove was really saying- but, when he did, the haze of exhaustion lifted from his mind somewhat… and his eyes opened just a little wider.
Perhaps quite insensitively, the first words that fell from Battler's mouth were, "This isn't a joke, is it?"
"Why would I joke about something like this?" Ronove countered.
His voice was still soft and calm, almost gentle- but it was still painfully sincere. It felt like his words had jagged edges- and each one caught Battler in the stomach; just as his blue truth had impaled Beato at the end of their fourth game.
Beato had tried to laugh bravely then, talking as if she truly didn't care- but Battler had been able to hear the pain through her words regardless.
And, just as Beato had been bluffing… so, too, was Ronove.
He was still smiling his usual smile- but Battler could see, very plainly, just how fake it was.
He'd never seen Ronove look, or sound, so… incredibly fragile before.
If this was a joke, it was an incredibly good one- and it was horribly twisted, too.
"I admit, I do enjoy teasing you from time to time, just to see the expressions on your face… they really can be quite cute…" said Ronove lightly, with a soft laugh. "But… this isn't a joke. It might be surprising- but, I assure you… for once, I am being completely truthful."
Battler had momentarily forgotten how to talk. He opened his mouth, but words failed him constantly; until he started to get a horrible headache.
He didn't even know what he wanted to say.
He didn't know… what could make this situation better.
But he did know that he didn't want Ronove to look, or sound, like that anymore.
How could a person like him… have been ground down so easily…?
"S-so you… y-you… really… Y-you really… care about me?"
There was a small silence, as Ronove's expression shifted slightly into something even more pained; but, after a few moments, he nodded his head… and his smile returned.
"Aha~ I can't deny it. I really do care about you.
"I admit… at first, I was merely interested in you because you were Milady's opponent… and I thought it was fun making blush. That's all. But, after a while… hm, I'm not sure when, so please don't ask; I know I have a good memory, but it's been failing me recently… anyway… I… truly began to feel… quite attracted you. The strange hair, penchant for pointing rudely at people and silly theories aside, I… find you quite endearing company; and, really… I find it very difficult to be maudlin around you.
"Aaah, you do… bring out a very childish side of my character- because I rarely tease other people quite as mercilessly as I do to you; but, hm… Maybe, despite my outward appearance, I'm a very childish person… And not really all that intelligent. Because, if I was… I definitely would have guarded my feelings around you more carefully… … and I wouldn't have agreed to do this… in the hopes it meant something more."
Battler stared at Ronove in blank shock; mouth falling open slightly, face turning pale.
This was a confession?
That damn demon butler, with his enigmatic smiles and mischievous comments… … truly felt that way for him?
W-was that why Ronove had been acting so strangely nice the past few days; always standing by Battler's side, engaging him in light conversation when he was particularly depressed, and serving him his favorite tea and snacks?
Ronove wanted to comfort him, and make him happy- because that weird demon actually… … cared for him?
Battler hadn't even known demons could fall in love- and he had never thought, even for a second, to dig around a little deeper behind Ronove's comments…
But, now that he thought about it… it seemed horribly, painfully obvious.
It was just another thing Battler had failed to see until it was too late.
Well, he had a huge list of mistakes complied by now- so he could always add it to the tab.
The things Ronove had been doing for Battler all of this time, unasked… were the kind of things chick Beato did for him. The chick Beato had always tried to anxiously engage him in conversation, or get his attention, or make him laugh, or make him smile… a-and… she even made him cookies too, didn't she?
But Battler hadn't eaten hers'.
He couldn't… because she looked so much like Beato, but acted too much like Shannon… and it hurt.
"If Beato made these, she would have put poison in them or something; definitely- I-I'm… I'm sure she would…"
And Ronove had laughed softly as he watched Battler; shaking his head.
When Battler had lamented over chick Beato's innocent nature, and… and her cookies… when he felt like he was going to cry, but was too stubborn to… it had been Ronove who tried to cheer him up- and bring a smile back to his face.
"Well… That's a very strange ingredient to wish for in your cookies, Battler," Ronove had said lightly, with a smile. "Would you like me to take your rather unique tastes into account and adjust my own cookies accordingly?"
And, although Battler had felt so miserable he wanted to cry (wanted to, but couldn't) he… had even smiled, just a little… at that.
"Yeah, why not?" Battler had said; playing along with Ronove. "Maybe, if you added some cyanide to your cookies, it'd give them an extra kick."
"Perhaps it would… but, I fear, I'm rather traditional when it comes to making food- and defiling a cookie recipe in such a frightening manner goes quite against my morals."
Battler really had laughed at that.
That was right… Battler had always eaten the food Ronove gave him.
He ate it without giving it too much thought… because Ronove was a demon, and another man regardless, and Battler had never thought… it had never even crossed his mind… … that, maybe, Ronove cared about him just as much as that little chick Beato.
Ronove had… felt like that about him… and Battler never realized.
Ronove had… been in love?
But Battler had used Ronove's loyalty for his own gain and physical pleasure- never thinking there was something deeper behind it.
Battler had always been thinking of Beato.
But Ronove… had only ever been thinking of him.
That whole time, Battler had instructed Ronove to remain silent, and never do anything truly loving like kissing. Battler had been trying to imagine it was Beato. He only wanted to think that this was Beato.
Battler had just wanted to turn off his brain and pretend.
But, how would Ronove feel… when he was that intimate with a person he'd developed some bizarre, irrational feelings for… and that person was just using them, like a living sex doll?
How much would that have hurt…?
"Ahaha… I can see now I was wrong," said Ronove softly; eyes still carefully averted from Battler's face. Although his voice was still light, it was very bitter… and filled with sarcasm. "I was being foolish, assuming… this… meant anything to you. Whilst you were imagining I was somebody else, maybe I, too… was imagining you felt some kind of emotion for me. But… I was quite stupid. After all, you told me it plainly from the beginning. 'This doesn't mean anything'. I suppose I should have listened, really…
"But, love is an illusion and a misunderstanding… so I shouldn't be too surprised."
Battler winced as Ronove's words cut into him painfully; digging more spikes of guilt into his flesh. He'd known from the start this was a bad idea; he'd known using Ronove like this would cause their relationship to become horribly twisted- but he'd no idea it would become irreparably broken.
He hadn't known Ronove… felt that way about him.
Then again, if Ronove had ever told him before, Battler would, almost certainly, have thought he was joking.
Even now, Battler hardly believed it.
"Mm… So, in the end, I was just a substitute for Milady… pu ku ku~" Ronove laughed again; looking down at one of his hands, the fingers wet with Battler's semen. "I'm sorry I wasn't a very good substitute… I'm not nearly feminine enough, am I? Ha… haha… Then again, I suppose being treated like a prostitute was interesting, even if I wasn't very good at it… I should probably stick to serving tea and cakes…"
"Y-you're… you're not a prostitute… That wasn't what this was about, I swear…" Battler argued; that horrible, painful guilt needling him from all angles; making his skin prickle.
He thought about taking one of Ronove's hands, as the demon occasionally did to him to offer comfort- but when Battler remembered those fingers were still sticky, he couldn't help but recoil slightly.
"Hm. Yes, I suppose you're right," Ronove said, with another small, and decidedly helpless, smile. "Prostitutes get paid for their services. I… didn't even deserve that, right? Well… I do have this, I suppose…"
Battler could only stare in mingled shock, embarrassment and guilt, as Ronove- normally so proud, cool, calm and composed- lifted his cum-stained fingers to his lips…
Ronove hesitated for a few moments, blinking down at his fingers as though in surprise at his own actions- but, the moment soon passed.
He smiled; a strangely charming, composed smile, given the rumpled state he was in, and laughed again.
"Well, I suppose I must look so pitiful to you already… that a little more won't hurt, right? Hm~"
And with that bleak, depressing claim, Ronove's lips parted- and slowly, sensuously, he began to lick the fluid from the tips of his fingers.
He winced slightly as he sucked his fingers- obviously disgusted by the taste; but, despite the gag reflex kicking in, Ronove continued to suck his fingers clean- gasping in an unabashed manner about his own fingers in a manner he hadn't been permitted to do whilst he serviced Battler. His eyes were half-lidded, lashes fluttering shut against his pale skin, whilst his cheeks were flushed hotly- a little like he was running a temperature.
When Ronove finally drew the tip of the last digit from his mouth with a wet pop, silver spider webs of saliva continued to connect his pink parted lips to his fingers.
Given his disordered appearance, and the gasps that still forced themselves from his lips… it looked as if Ronove had been caught in the aftermath of something obscene.
Battler could only stare as he watched Ronove teasing his fingers with his tongue… his mouth open in shock, thoughts a complete mess.
H-how could somebody like that… degrade themselves so openly before him- as though they didn't even care?
Maybe he didn't.
Maybe he'd ceased caring about Battler's opinion.
After all, as Ronove said… he'd already willingly jerked Battler off, without any form of compensation or reparation- so, maybe… he had no reservations about acting like that anymore.
Perhaps Ronove felt he couldn't be humiliated anymore… so he had stopped worrying about trying to hold onto what fragments of his dignity he had left; if any.
Battler could see it, even as he watched Ronove. His enigmatic smile, the mask he had tried to wear (mostly unsuccessfully) throughout his talk with Battler… had slipped entirely.
He was still smiling, yes- but his lips, stained with saliva and Battler's cum, were twitching slightly… and his eyes were downcast; filled with…
It couldn't be…
But, it was.
They were… tears.
Battler felt his heart constrict painfully in his chest. He hadn't even known it was possible for Ronove to cry, but… … h-had he actually broken him down that much?
Had Battler really been so selfish… that he had forgotten Ronove had feelings?
Battler hadn't wanted to be alone; that was all- and, given his fantasies about Beato… it was either he fucked that little blonde girl who called herself Beatrice but wasn't… or he found somebody else to act as a substitute.
But Battler had never intended to do this.
He hadn't wanted their friendship… to be destroyed like this…
Battler couldn't imagine Ronove forgetting about this. It would be… impossible. How could you look a person you loved in the eye, after that person had more or less forced you into meaningless sex you weren't even allowed to enjoy?
Not even a person like Ronove would be able to smile at Battler sincerely after this; Battler was sure of it.
H-he'd really fucked this up… …
Battler looked at the doubled over figure of Beato's once proud butler; lips still stained with Battler's own cum, face flushed, eyes welling with salty tears- and, in a moment of pity and compassion, reached out towards him; lifting his chin gently with his fingers. They were now looking each other in the eye.
"Hm~ A-aha, this… is an interesting development…" Ronove muttered. "What do you want me to do now?"
"Nothing, I just… I…"
But words failed Battler. He'd never been very good with words anyway- and he knew no words would be able to convey a proper apology. There were some things that were unforgivable, after all… and Battler had a feeling this was one of them.
Battler didn't know what he was going to do. Kiss Ronove? But, no… although the thought did cross his mind- he couldn't.
He didn't love Ronove. He never would.
He loved Beato.
And Battler got the feeling a kiss, born out of pity, would only make Ronove feel worse.
In the end, Battler let his fingers fall back to his lap, and did exactly what he had stated before.
And, although apologies were probably useless… he still gave one anyway.
"I… I'm sorry… …"
"It's… fine," was Ronove's soft reply. "It's not your fault I couldn't control my own feelings. I'm sure you're right. This would have been easy, if I weren't so stupid… ahaha… ha… …
"In fact, I'm… glad you don't return my feelings… because Milady… really loves you, you know? Perhaps I shouldn't divulge sensitive information like this to you, given these are Milady's personal emotions… but, pu ku ku… she was always rather poor at expressing her own feelings; so I'll attempt to do it for her.
"Milady really did love you. And, if you can return her feelings… then I'm happy. I… I-I'm truly happy for you. Milady suffered so much… so she deserves a happy ending. I'm grateful to you for returning Milady's love. And, if… i-if I can service you in any way, to ensure your happiness as well… I should probably do it.
"If you asked, maybe I even would have eaten the dirt, if you wanted… my status as a demon aside. It's not like I have much of that left, is it… …? So, if you feel stressed again in the future, and you want to have more meaningless sex with somebody… maybe, if it will spare the young Miss Beatrice… … you can just ask me. I-I'll try to pretend I don't feel anything, alright?~ You can close your eyes… and you don't even have to acknowledge my existence. I'm sure, even though you're not attracted to me… I wasn't that bad… was I?"
Battler stared at Ronove. Why was that damn butler, who usually acted so refined… openly disregarding his own feelings as worthless? He was even offering to do this again… … even though, right now, it looked like he was trying not to cry.
T-this whole situation… was completely useless…
"I… I thought you said you didn't want to? T-this is fucked up enough as it is, I-I don't want to keep doing this- n-not now I know how it makes you feel."
"Ahaha… T-thank you for caring, but… … I gave it some thought, and I… would rather you kept using me, instead of involving anybody else. I think that might be for the best.
"Well, just think about it, alright? I'll do anything you want; you only have to ask~ I'll… be completely subservient… and I won't make a sound. If you want, I could even use my mouth next time?~"
Ronove's voice was light- and if the previous events hadn't expired, Battler might have assumed that damn demon was teasing him again. But Battler knew better.
He could tell Ronove was being completely serious.
He was only trying to keep his tone light… to prevent himself from having some kind of breakdown.
It was probably too late to 'prevent' that now, though.
It had already happened.
Battler knew it was wrong, he knew this whole scenario was incredibly twisted- and now the large power imbalance was making him feel horribly uncomfortable; almost as if Ronove was offering, with that small and incredibly unconvincing smile, to let Battler rape him.
W-would something like be rape? Even though Ronove was offering, it was clear he didn't want to.
He was just offering himself for sex... because Battler had managed to wear his self worth away completely.
Battler shouldn't have found it arousing.
He really shouldn't.
But, horribly, repulsively enough… … he did.
Ronove watched, eyes narrowed and lips parted, as Battler's cock hardened once more at his words… and then smiled.
It was a smile devoid of anything that could be called 'happiness'.
"Would you like me to take care of that for you, Lord Battler?"
Battler knew he should have protested. He should've pushed Ronove away, when he clearly wasn't in a fit state of mind to do anything, l-let alone something like this… …
But, when Ronove's fingers slowly, hesitantly, caressed the bulge in Battler's pants once more… Battler could only moan- squeezing his eyes shut, and falling back against the bed, helpless against the strength of his own physical pleasure.
"Hm~ How fun, how fun~ I like my humans all nicely wrapped up so I can open them and have fun, ufufufu~"
The Golden Witch cackled as she pushed Battler down; trailing her fingers down the front of his shirt teasingly, seductively; coming to rest gently on his crotch.
Battler, contrary to all his perverted comments about 'cow tits', turned bright red at this light touch- and Beato only laughed even more.
He barely had the time to say anything; she was already pulling his pants down; then his underwear- not wasting much time, but Battler had already figured, being such an impatient and childish woman, she wasn't the biggest fan of foreplay.
"Hm? Is this aaall?~" she said teasingly; running one finger down the shaft of Battler's cock. "I'm disappointed, kukuku~"
If possible, Battler's face turned redder. "S-shut up… …"
"Ahaha~ Aren't you forgetting something?"
Despite the anticipation, and the adrenalin thumping through his body, Battler still had enough energy to roll his eyes… but he wasn't strong enough to spar with Beato; not now.
H-he was too worked up for that…
Must've been because he was still a horny teenager, ahaha… ha…
"F-f-fine… P-please, Witch-sama…?"
"Hmph~ It'll do~"
And, with a small laugh, Beato dipped her head (Battler's cheeks turned even redder; his heartbeat thumped even louder)-
-and pressed her lips round the tip of his cock.
A warm, wet sensation encased Battler's penis- and, suddenly, all of his thoughts were completely scattered; disjointed. He could hardly even think, he could hardly feel- h-he couldn't feel anything except pleasure- and he gasped helplessly, thrusting upwards inadvertently to feel more of that warmth- wanting to take him in even deeper.
But that wasn't the only sound that flitted through Battler's bedroom.
It was also coupled… … with the noise of quiet sobbing.
Love is an illusion, a misunderstanding.
Mutual love is a mutual misunderstanding of being mutually loved.
a/n: Aaaargh writing this was so… argh, I don't know ;A; It was really painful to write, okay, I'm not even kidding. I had to keeping stopping, because it made me really miserable. This is probably the cruellest story I've ever written... at least, in terms of what the characters go through.
I'm sure they fall into serious OOC territory in here (apart from Beato, probably XD), but... urgh, given the point of this fic was 'taking my favorite character and grinding down their sense of self worth completely', I think maybe that unavoidable...
Um, mainly I wrote this as a sign of solidarity with my waifu Magu-chan, who's writing some M-rated scenes in her fic Mendacium Speculorum (which is really good, so people should read it!) I guess this was kind of born out of a 'don't worry about your M-rated scenes, look, I can't write them decently either!' feeling? XD
Yeah, something like that.
I was thinking about not posting it, given how dark the content is, kinda… but I let Magu-chan read it before I published it, and she reassured me that's it decent. So… I posted it. I-I hope people like it?
Um, yes, that's all I have to say about this.
If it made you feel even a little sad, I guess it succeeded ^_^;