I Need A Drink

Disclaimer: I do not own KotOR.

Note: To Dlvvanzor for her birthday. Request was male!Revan/Carth pairing so warning for mild slash.

Revan was quite busily waiting to get sufficiently tired to take a nap en route to the most boring planet in the galaxy when Carth stormed in and glared at him.

Revan wouldn't have been concerned in the best of times but he was even less so now as that had been Carth's default expression since they had met up with Malak.

"The ship is still moving," Revan announced.

Carth blinked. "Yes."

"But you're not piloting it," Revan continued.

Carth looked around. "I don't appear to be, no."

Revan considered sighing but decided against the extra effort. Carth was doing this on purpose. "If you're not piloting the ship then who is?"

"No one," Carth said, quite unconcerned.

"Carth! We can't have no one flying the ship!" Revan protested. "We're going to crash into something or fly into the sun!"

"I wouldn't worry," Carth said dismissively. "The ship can more or less take care of itself most of the time."

"That would explain how I'm still alive even though those Force Bond holocrons I kept listening to while piloting always put me to sleep," Revan said thoughtfully. "And here I just thought that the Force really loved me…"

Carth twitched. "That reminds me," he growled. As if he had ever let the thought slip from his mind for long. "Why didn't you tell me that you were Revan?"

Revan frowned. "I…did. The first...well, second actually. When we met after I woke up on Taris I told you my name and you tried to shoot me."

"You told me that you weren't that Revan!" Carth complained.

"No, I believe that what I said was that Revan was an unfortunate name to have these days," Revan corrected.

"That's not the way that I remember it-" Carth started to say.

"Well that's how it happened," Revan said stubbornly.

"I should have kept trying," Carth muttered.

"Please, Carth. If you couldn't shoot Malak at point-blank range than you couldn't have shot me either," Revan said dismissively.

"So you admit it!" Carth declared triumphantly.

"I'm afraid I've quite lost the thread of this conversation," Revan admitted. "What do I admit?"

"You admit that you're really that Revan!" Carth ground out.

Revan frowned. "What? You can't just go around making important life decisions like that for me, Carth. How would you like it if I decided that you were Juhani?"

"Juhani wasn't that bad," Carth started to defend the Cathar Jedi that they had been supposed to take with them but hadn't. "But I'm not the one who decided that you were Revan! You decided that all by yourself!"

"I don't recall doing anything of the sort," Revan sniffed. "If anything, my parents would have been the ones who named me."

"I'm not talking about you being called Revan, I'm talking about you being Revan," Carth said, exasperated. "And anyway, Malak was the one who told us."

"Well I don't think that Malak should get to make those kinds of important life decisions for me either," Revan replied. He paused. "While it is true that he's been making most of those for pretty much the entire time I've known him, I've recently begun to suspect that he no longer has my best interests at heart."

"What was your first clue?" Carth asked sarcastically.

Revan appeared to actually be considering that for a moment. "I think it might have been when he tried to kill me. Yes, that was definitely it."

"That's not very observant of you," Carth said, shaking his head. "Did you ever even have amnesia?"

"Says the man who only realized that Saul was a traitor when he bombed Telos," Revan shot back.

Carth twitched. "You can't just use something like the death of my wife against me in an argument!"

"Technically it was the betrayal of your mentor that I was using," Revan explained. "The death of your wife was incidental. And you used my best friend trying to kill me against me!"

"But you never seem to really care-" Carth began. He blinked a few times. "Wait…"

"Wait for what?" Revan inquired.

"Since when do you remember my tragic back story?" Carth demanded.

"I don't know what you're talking about," Revan said loftily.

Carth shook his head. "Oh, I think you do. I must have told you about Saul and Morgana a dozen times on our quest, maybe more."

"Not to be insensitive but perhaps you go on about that a bit much," Revan suggested helpfully.

"No, you'd never be insensitive," Carth muttered before brushing the comment aside. "You've always acted like you couldn't remember what I said not a minute after I finished telling you about it."

"What's your point?" Revan asked coolly.

"Now suddenly I find that you remembered what happened even though I haven't mentioned it in at least a week or two?" Carth demanded.

"Remember what?" Revan asked blankly.

Carth fixed Revan with a piercing look. "It's not going to work this time, Revan."

"Why did you even come in here anyway, Carth?" Revan tried again.

"I was going to yell at you for not letting me know you were Revan again," Carth admitted. "But I've done it before and I'll do it again so that can wait."

"Joy," Revan deadpanned. "Do you think that I'm evil?"

"You were once, you must have been," Carth said slowly. "But as long as you don't spend too much time with Canderous and HK you should be fine."

"There's no such thing as too much time with HK," Revan declared dramatically.

"Oh, there really is," Carth disagreed.

"And I don't think I was ever really evil anyway," Revan claimed.

Carth just stared at him. "Oh you have got to be kidding me. You were a Sith Lord! You tried to conquer the Republic! You killed untold numbers of defenseless children!"

"Not personally," Revan protested. "And I've been thinking about it and I'm fairly certain that I never fell, even that one time I met with the real Sith Emperor."

That caught Carth's attention. "Wait, what real Sit-"

Revan shrugged. "It doesn't matter."

Carth considered pressing the issue but they had already wandered quite a bit from what he actually wanted to discuss. "Well then at least explain to me how you can possibly think that you aren't evil. Weren't evil, I should say."

"Whenever Force sensitive people are properly evil their eyes turn yellow and their skin turns all grey," Revan explained matter-of-factly. "From what I've seen, I think the hair gets greasier as well. I've never had that problem hence I was never evil."

"No matter how many evil things you've done?" Carth asked incredulously.

"The Force doesn't lie, Carth," Revan said in a sing-song voice.

"You actually remember pertinent information about me," Carth said again, deciding that there was no point in arguing with him about that. "Information I've told you countless times and that most people only need to be told once but the point still stands."

"What point?" Revan asked him. "That I'm capable of remembering things that people tell me sometimes when the urge strikes me? Like that means anything?" He reconsidered. "No, one second thought make sure to keep that to yourself. It wouldn't do to give anyone any kind of expectations about me."

"If you were most people then this wouldn't mean much but you're not," Carth said earnestly.

"I think you'll find that no one is 'most people', Carth," Revan said dryly.

Carth waved his hand. "You know what I mean. If you were even vaguely normal then you almost couldn't help remembering after all the times I've told you but Mission mentioned Gadon Thek to you yesterday and seemed to honestly not know who that was."

"That would be because I've never met any Gadon Thek," Revan said matter-of-factly.

"Yes you did, we both have," Carth corrected him. "He was the leader of the swoop gang on Taris who sponsored us in the swoop race so we could go rescue Bastila."

Revan's jaw tightened at the mention of their kidnapped and likely tortured missing friend. "Not ringing a bell."

"And I think you actually mean that," Carth said slowly after examining Revan closely for a long moment. "And yet you remembered my story."

"You sound like a broken holocron, Carth," Revan complained.

"You told me that I reminded you of Malak," Carth continued, ignoring him. "I didn't know who you were talking about at the time but now I know it must be him."

"Are you going to yell at me for that, too?" Revan asked, sounding almost hopeful.

"I'm tempted to," Carth acknowledged. "But I can always do that later. Right now I want to know why."

Revan shrugged noncommittally. "Oh, you know."

Carth nodded. "I think I do, actually. Back on Dantooine one of the Jedi – maybe Vrook? – mentioned that no one was as good at talking you into doing things as Malak was. Even Bastila with her Force Bond can't talk you into things half as well as I can."

"Malak was my best friend for years," Revan protested. "In fact, I'd still consider him a close friend if only because it would take far too much work to start thinking about him any other way."

That sufficiently – if momentarily – distracted Carth. "Even though he tried to kill you and you're out to kill him?"

"I'm not really trying to kill him all that hard," Revan tried to explain. "And we've had fights before. Not often, of course, but we have."

"I should say not if this is what one of your fights looks like," Carth said, appalled.

"No, it's mostly because fighting with a friend is such a drag," Revan replied.

Carth shook his head to clear it. "Right, so your evidently psychotic friendship with Malak aside – not that that surprises me in the slightest – you always listened to him because you'd been friends for so long. We've known each other for only a few months and yet I've always seemed to have this great influence on you."

Revan let out a startled laugh. "Only a few months?"

"We met on the Endar Spire technically and then introduced ourselves down on Taris," Carth confirmed, a bit confused by Revan's words. "That was seven months ago."

Revan shook his head almost disappointedly. "And you say I never remember."

Carth had no idea what Revan was talking about. They hadn't met before the Endar Spire. He had met Malak the once but he thought he'd remember meeting the Savior of the Republic himself. "Why do you let me have so much influence over you?" he asked instead.

"Have you ever considered the fact that you're just remarkably pushy and I really don't need that kind of hassle?" Revan asked rhetorically.

"I did," Carth said, nodding. "But surely the hassle of kicking me off of the ship or leaving yourself would be less than the epic journey you're on to kill Malak. And we always argue."

Revan snorted. "That's hardly indicative of a functional relationship."

"Maybe not," Carth agreed, "but it certainly is a close one."

Revan was quiet for a moment. "Then what do you think it is?"

Carth hesitated. "I almost don't want to say."

Revan closed his eyes again. "Well in that case…"

"It's just that hearing it out loud would convince me that I'm completely wrong," Carth hastened to explain. "And I really don't think that I am."

"Well you can either tell me or you can not," Revan pointed out.

"There's one other option," Carth corrected him.

"And that is?" Revan asked, mildly interested.

His eyes flew open when Carth kissed him.

"So," Bastila said, looking around the Ebon Hawk with fondness and a hint of nervousness. They had just narrowly escaped the Star Forge before it blew up and were waiting for permission to land on the Rakata planet for the inevitable awards ceremony. "I see that not much has changed in my absence."

"Not unless you count the gay sex," Mission muttered.

Carth, once again letting the ship manage itself, turned horrified eyes on the fifteen-year-old. "Mission!" he exclaimed, scandalized.

Mission rolled her eyes. "Eh, I've seen worse on Taris."

"That doesn't make it any better!" Carth said, looking more disturbed by the minute.

"What's this about gay sex?" Bastila asked, frowning.

"It was Canderous, I think," Revan speculated.

Carth sighed. He should have known.

"I did see him limping," Bastila said slowly. "But who…?"

"Jolee," Carth said quickly before Revan got a chance to start talking about all the repressed tension he and the Mandalorian had.

"I…honestly never would have seen that coming," Bastila said, eyebrows raised.

Revan shrugged. "I don't understand it myself but, hey, it's their life, right?"

"War does do strange things to people," Carth agreed.

"I can't wait until this stupid ceremony is over and we can go back to a real planet," Revan said suddenly, a little irritated.

"This planet is perfectly real," Bastila told him.

"It doesn't have a Cantina," Revan said as if that settled everything. "When we get back to a real planet I expect the both of you to buy me a drink."

The words echoed in Carth's head for some reason as did another moment from a few weeks ago.

Revan shook his head almost disappointedly. "And you say I never remember."

And then he did.

Carth couldn't help the smile that crossed his face as he listened to the Jedi hero Malak finish his speech and he wasn't all that inclined to try. He had never met the man before and he wouldn't get a chance to talk to him in person but he was glad that he had come stood in line for hours to get to hear the speech.

Malak was a wonderful speaker and somehow his simple, eloquent words lit a fire in Carth – and in his fellow soldiers, he could tell – and made him feel like he could do anything. The Mandalorian threat, usually so oppressive, seemed like nothing in the face of such powerful words.

"He's great, isn't he?" a voice from behind him said.

Carth spun around to see a man with dark hair and eyes watching the speaker with a small smile on his lips.

"I'd never tell him but I always love watching him give speeches," the man continued, not looking Carth's way. "And after all, better him than me."

"Who are you?" Carth asked curiously.

The man finally glanced at him. "Oh, me?" he asked, a little taken aback. "I guess you could call me a groupie."

Carth raised an eyebrow. "A groupie he doesn't know he has, apparently."

"I'm not a stalker if that's what you think," the man insisted, holding his hands up.

"You just don't want him to know that you watch him," Carth said skeptically.

The man rolled his eyes. "Well when you put it like that…"

"I'm trying to find an alternative explanation, I really am," Carth claimed. "So who are you anyway?"

The man frowned. "No."

"No?" Carth repeated. "Your name is no?"


"It's not or you're confirming that it is?" Carth asked, confused.


"Oh come on!" Carth burst out.

"My name isn't no," the man finally replied. "I just don't feel like telling you my name."

"You couldn't even give me a fake name?" Carth inquired.

"I could," the man agreed.

Carth waited.

"But you won't," he concluded.

"That about sums it up," the man said blithely.

"No, definitely not a stalker," Carth muttered under his breath.

"Well I'm not stalking you at any rate," the man countered. "And it's not like I think there would be a problem or anything, I just don't particularly want to deal with his reaction if he knew."

"His reaction being to have you thrown in prison or to press charges?" Carth asked innocently.

The man rolled his eyes. "Very funny."

"I thought so," Carth replied.

The man stared at him thoughtfully for awhile and Carth began to feel a little self-conscious.

"What?" he asked defensively.

"I've actually got a bit of time until my next engagement," the man mused.

"Good for you," Carth told him, not quite sure what this had to do with him.

"Let's find a Cantina," the man suggested. "You can buy me a drink."

"Why would I do that?" Carth asked him quizzically.

The man's lips quirked. "Well, you're evidently under the impression that I'm some sort of stalker and so I might be dangerous. Given Malak's importance to the war effort it's practically your patriotic duty to look into this…"

The man had a point.

"Fine," Carth agreed reluctantly, ignoring the part of himself that didn't mind at all. "One drink. But I'll be watching you."

"Promises, promises..."

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