Parenthood

Author's Note: Hey~it's me again! The Asian girl who cries like Franky but 10 times cuter, ring any bell?

You guys were so nice to me last time, with all the reviews and favorites. Those really made my day (or days). That's why I'm here to present my second ZoroNami story. If only I can do a better job in translating. I have tons of them written in Chinese in stock. (I'm a crazed ZoroNami shipper, HELP!)

Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece. Oh wait, that's not true! I own like two dozens of them in my wardrobe, diversified in colors and fabrics. I sure hope Luffy can find the one with his size in there.

"Ussop, what will happen if you push me in the back really hard when I'm on the swing?" Luffy asked, grinning goofily to his long-nose nakama.

"How hard are we talking about?"

"Really really hard! Like my Gear-second hard! You can do that, right?"

"Sure! I'm the almighty Captain Ussop Sama with powerful arms, remember?" Ussop put two of his fingers on his chin and he assumed proudly. "You'll fly to the sky, Luffy, and fall into the sea after a while, you know, because of gravity. Best case scenario—you'll end up shooting high, breaking the glass of Crow's Nest window and landing on Zoro's face."

"Awesome! Let's do that!" Luffy's eyes sparkled with golden stars as he hopped on the swing. "Now push me!"

"But Nami's going to be mad at us if we make noises loud enough to—"Ussop couldn't finish his sentence before the rubber boy bounced on the swing and practically shot himself directly towards the ship's railing where Chopper was sitting with a fishing rod in his hand.

"Chopper! Watch out!" Ussop yelled. But it was too late. Luffy already knocked Chopper overboard and both of them were in the water struggling to surface.

"What's so loud? Could you boys just for once keep it down and behave like civilized people—"Nami walked out of the cabin. Her complaint stopped the moment she saw two of her crew mates in the sea and she ran to the shipside yelling:" Luffy! Chopper! Are you ok?...Hang in there!"

Then she ordered Ussop: "What are you looking at? Jump! And quick save them! They can't swim!"

"All right, all right! I'm already doing what you said! You don't have to hit me—Ouch! "

Just as Ussop was about to kick off his shoes while dodging Nami's fist, a figure jumped flying down from the Crow's Nest and dived into the sea within a millisecond.

"Zoro!" Nami yelled, quite relieved that it was him who was to the rescue. "Just get Chopper and leave Luffy to Ussop!"

"Why? Zoro is already on it and I'm sure he's strong enough for both of them—"

"Shut up and get down there already!" Nami pushed Ussop into the water." This was your fault to begin with!"

About five minutes later, Nami sighed as she put her hands on her hips: She's got four boys soaking wet lying on deck in front of her. Two were almost unconscious, not to mention one of them was the ship's doctor who should be busy giving treatment to others in situation like this, instead of having himself drowned to semi-death.

Zoro sat up and gently patted Chopper's fuzzy chest to help his breathing. "Poor little thing…" he muttered. "Did Luffy use you as his lifebuoy again?"

Nami watched him with the corner of her eyes.

"So this is what you're gonna look like when you become a father." She said.

"What?" He looked up, a little bewildered by her comment. "Where did that come from?"

"I'm just saying." She shrugged. And she kicked Luffy in the head with the heel of her sandals: "Wake up, Stupid!"

"Isn't she heartless…" Ussop muttered while coughing water out of his lung.

Luckily Nami didn't hear him. She turned to the swordsman who was still messaging Chopper's chest. "I'll leave these two to you, Zoro. Luffy and I have some serious talking to do, now if you excuse me—"

"He can't talk right now. He passed out. "

"I'll make him talk." She simply said.

Zoro watched as she dragged an unconscious Luffy along deck by his collar. He agreed with Ussop inwardly. She really was a heartless bitch sometimes.

And what's up with her last comment? About him being a father figure? Was it supposed to be a compliment or was she making fun of him again?

He thought about it for a short while, until Nami turned around and said in a voice loud enough for the whole crew to hear her: "Oh, you may wanna take that white shirt off, Zoro. Cuz with or without it on, I can see your nipples from here and they are hardened."

"Can you believe her?" Zoro asked turning to Ussop, trying to hide the fact that he was totally embarrassed by Nami's nipple-involved comment. "Why can't she just say that she's worried I might catch a cold?"

"Good. You cracked her code just fine, buddy." Ussop said sarcastically.

0000000

A few hours later, after taking his third nap of the day, Zoro found Luffy standing outside Nami's chart room with a pile of maps on the top of his head. And the rubber boy was trying hard to hold still.

"What are you doing, Luffy? Is this some sort of acrobatics you are pulling out?"

"No…Nami made me!" Luffy whined as Zoro walked closer to him." She said this was a punishment to me."

"Punishment for what?"

"For knocking Chopper into the water and interrupting her precious mapping time." Luffy recited from his earlier conversation with the navigator. "She made me stand here for 4 hours already, Zoro. I can't feel my legs anymore!"

"And you just…let her?" Zoro rolled his eyes slightly annoyed." Why? Who made her the boss here? You are the captain, Luffy."

"But…but she said she won't talk to me until we reach the next island if I don't do this." Luffy said childishly, while trying to hold his breath to avoid dropping any map from his head. "And I won't be able to know when we'll reach the next island if she doesn't talk to me!"

Yeah, that was no-doubtly 10 times more unendurable to someone like Luffy. Zoro sighed as he shook his head: "Man, she really got you, didn't she?"

Just then the door opened and Nami walked out. "Zoro? Are you talking to Luffy behind my back? I thought I've made it clear that nobody is allowed to talk to him until he's done with this punishment!" She said, looking quite unpleased.

"What? I don't remember you giving that command, your Highness." He retorted.

Oh wait, maybe she did, when he was asleep and everybody else was not.

But still, she had crossed the line here. Luffy was his Captain—their Captain—and he would not allow her to treat their Captain like a circus sea lion.

He stepped up and tried to reason her:" Come on, Nami, give him a break. You can't punish him like this. He's not a 6 year old!"

"Well, he does behave like one most of the time!" She retorted.

"You are being too harsh to him, and what you just said is mean. Who are you to decide he should be punished or not?"

"Excuse me? Since when can't I tell my friend to be more polite to his friend? He almost had Chopper drowned!" She shrieked. Her eyes narrowed in anger." Plus I was only doing this for his own good!"

"What are you? His MOTHER?"

"How dare you—"

"Don't fight, you guys! I hate it when you guys fight over me!" Luffy shouted jumping in the middle of the bickering pair. Maps fell from his head and scattered on deck.

"See? Now you are the one who's upsetting him!"Nami yelled at Zoro's face but the latter was not ready to give in.

"Oh good, you just admitted that you've been upsetting him for the last three hours. This maybe the first time I remember you ever being so honest—"

"Four hours!"Luffy cut in for the second time. "Seriously, you guys, stop it!"

"Well Luffy, if things get worse and they keep fighting like this; they might actually get a divorce and still be fighting for your custody." Robin said as she walked out of the library, a cup of coffee in her hand, along with a sly smile on her face.

"WHAT? !They are MARRIED? !WHEN? !"

"No! We are NOT married, Luffy!"Zoro and Nami shouted simultaneously.

"Who's married?"Ussop appeared out of nowhere asking.

"Zoro and Nami are. But Robin said they are getting a divorce." Luffy answered while Nami and Zoro both hit him on the head.

"Shut up, AHO*!"

"Don't you get irony?"

"You guys are married?…how long did I sleep in there?" Ussop rubbed his eyes.

"So this is what you're gonna look like when you become a mother, huh?"Zoro said sarcastically to Nami." No wonder I'm divorcing you."

"No you are NOT! " Nami screamed at the top of her lung." If we were really a couple I should be divorcing you! And I were getting both Luffy and Chopper! Yeah that's for sure, 'Goshujin Sama'!"*

"Like hell you were." Zoro snorted. "The best you can get is Ussop—"

"Hey! That's mean, Zoro!"Ussop protested.

"And so it begins." Robin smiled.

-The End-

* AHO means idiot in Japanese. You guys already knew it. You watch One Piece after all.

* "Goshujin Sama" is the Japanese term for "my master" and it is what housewives in Japan refer to their husbands, respectfully of course.

So…what do you think?

R&R please! Thanks. = 3 =