By: Haiku

Fandom: Legion Version 4

Pairing: Invisible Kid/Brainiac 5

Rating: T for mentions of boys sprocking and Brainy threatening Lyle's manhood.

Author's Note: This pairing is just so great for writing humor. Lyle's a joker by nature, Brainy's attracted to him anyway for some reason, and the result is just funny. So I can't resist writing this sort of thing for them now and then.

Summary: Spark sees something interesting and the rumors fly.


Spark swore she'd seen them both leave Lyle's room together that morning. Of course, that didn't necessarily mean anything, it wasn't unheard of to visit a friend's room without… well, without going where Spark's perverted mind of course took her. No one else was convinced that Brainy leaving Lyle's room in the morning meant that anything of the sort had happened between the two resident geniuses.

Still, that meant that, whether they liked it or not, several Legionnaires spent the whole day looking for clues that did indicate that something really had gone on.

"Lyle's not limping," Tinya noted coolly to Tenzil, who promptly choked on the broken handi-cam he'd been disposing of for Jo. "I'm just saying," Tinya continued, waving a hand at him, "that apparently Lyle wasn't on the bottom."

"Huh," Jo remarked thoughtfully. "You know… it kind of makes sense. Brainy's more the… woman of the relationship."

Tenzil managed to swallow the handi-cam and shook his head. "How do you figure that? B5's like the lazy husband who only wants to do his own thing all day and Invisible Kid is like his wife who's all the time trying to get him to shape up. That's the way I see it, anyway."

"True," Tinya agreed, "but Brainy is so PMSing all the time and you know it. Ergo, Brainy's the girl."

From where he sat eating his breakfast on the other end of the room, Lyle glanced up as though he'd heard something of what they were saying, and looked over at them a moment, frowning in confusion.

"But really, the blue dress would look great on you, babe," Jo told his wife with a broad grin as a cover up. Lyle promptly returned his attention to his scrambled eggs, apparently reassured that he wasn't being discussed.

Brainy walked into the cafeteria – spotted Lyle – and coolly walked up to the counter first without saying a word to his friend. He scowled at Tinya, Jo, and Tenzil when he noticed them all three staring intently at him. "What?" he demanded sourly. "Do I have something on my face?"

Jo coughed and it sounded suspiciously like 'Invisible Kid.' Brainy narrowed his eyes.

"What's wrong with you idiots today?" he groused. "You've all been acting weird. Tenzil, if you don't mind, I'd like pancakes."

"Chocolate chips?" Tenzil asked nervously. "I make some mean chocolate chip pancakes."

"Just regular ones, please," Brainy replied absently, his gaze slowly drifting over to where Lyle was sitting.

"Did you and Invisible Kid have a fight?" Tinya asked, catching the look. Brainy quickly looked over at her, seemingly startled. "I mean, you guys aren't mad at each other or anything?" she clarified.

The Coluan seemed to consider the question. "Not… as such. It isn't a fight, really, just… something we've been working on together that doesn't have all of the bugs worked out of it yet."

Tinya discretely stepped on Jo's foot to keep him from saying anything. "That so?" she asked. "Well, I hope you work everything out soon."

Tenzil sat a plate of pancakes down in front of Brainy. "Here you go, B5, these should cheer you right up!" he announced. "Made with love, I promise."

"I'm… sure…" Brainy cautiously picked up the plate and turned to walk towards Lyle.

Tinya, Tenzil, and Jo watched him like hawks as he moved. And then, they saw it; the slight falter in Brainy's step and the way his face tightened up in a barely noticeable grimace.

"Told you Brainy was the catcher," Jo whispered to Tenzil.

"He could have just twisted his ankle," Tenzil disagreed. "That doesn't necessarily mean anything."

As they watched, Brainy sat down across the table from Lyle and silently began eating his pancakes. Lyle looked up at him. For several long moments, neither of them spoke. Finally, Brainy muttered, "I need some coffee," and stood back up stiffly.

"I need a refill too," Lyle remarked calmly, picking up his empty cup and following after Brainy to the coffee dispenser.

Live Wire and Cosmic Boy walked into the room just in time to see Brainy and Lyle standing shoulder to shoulder in front of the dispenser. "Whoa," Garth remarked, eyebrows shooting up. "Okay… well…"

"Uh… yeah…" Cos agreed, coughing slightly.

"Hey, we've been trying to figure something out all day," Tinya spoke up. "What do you guys think? Are Brainy and Lyle… you know… more than just friends?"

Garth snorted in amusement. "Oh man, you guys noticed too? The flirting that has gone on between those two is just ridiculous." He made a face. "I mean, Grife, Lyle's only been trying to tap that since they both joined the Legion."

"Uh… can you not ever say 'tap that' when you're talking about those two ever again?" Rokk asked, looking slightly sickened. "Great, so they're flirting. Possibly dating. Maybe that will keep Brainiac in a better mood for a while."

"Oh, there's more!" Tinya spoke excitedly. "This morning, Spark said she saw them both come out of Lyle's room! We really think they-"

"Whoa," Garth's voice interrupted her. "Lyle's getting a little hands-y there!"

Just as he said this, Brainy slapped Lyle's hand away from his waist and promptly threw his hot coffee on the brunet. "You pig! If you think for one second that just because I let you sprock me last night, I'll let you grope me in public, you're seriously brain damaged! Do not touch me ever again or I swear, I'll cut it off and feed it to you!"

With that, the irate blond stormed out of the cafeteria, leaving Lyle to stare after him in shock.

"Well, that answers the question," Tenzil remarked.

"That was far too much information," Rokk corrected, his face pale. "… I guess Jasmin was wrong. Getting laid did nothing to help Brainy's attitude."

They all shut up when Lyle suddenly turned in their direction and began walking towards them.

"Morning, guys," he greeted cheerfully, as though nothing had happened. "Rokk, you look like you've seen a ghost. You alright?"

Rokk nodded slowly, not trusting his voice.

"You, uh… you okay, Lyle?" Garth ventured. "That coffee didn't get you, did it?"

Lyle shook his and gestured to his uniform. "Just the clothes, didn't even feel it. I guess I did deserve it, though. Umm, just to keep the peace, can you guys not say anything about this to Brainy? He's really sensitive right now so just pretend you didn't, you know, hear that part about me sprocking him last night. Or see me grope him. Just… act like nothing happened. Thanks, guys!"

Before they could object, Lyle had dashed out of the room as well.

"… Tenzil," Jo spoke up smugly when Lyle was out of earshot, "didn't I say Brainy was the catcher?"