A/N: OKAY: VERY IMPORTANT: Terra Nova has been cancelled :( Word broke on March 5 that Fox would not be renewing it for a second season. BUT: all hope is not lost—20th Century (the studio that produced Terra Nova) is shopping it to other networks. Hopefully SOMEONE will rescue our beloved fandom :( Latest word is that Netflix is in negotiations to renew the series. Hopefully it'll go through!
Also important: this will be the LAST chapter of this story. Sorry to disappoint but I feel I've exhausted this story and it's time to put it out to pasture. So I'll wrap up any ongoing plot points and throw in a dash of comedy and hopefully you guys will stay with me and read the rest of my stories. Thanks for all the support I've received—it means a TON to me!
Josh Shannon is in a relationship with Skye "Bucket" Tate.
Maddy Shannon, Mark Reynolds, and fourteen others like this.
Maddy Shannon: It's about time! Good for you two :)
Lucas Taylor: OH COME ON!
Hunter Boyce: OH COME ON!
Skye "Bucket" Tate: I've realized I have a huge problem with my "brothers" having crushes on me…-_-
Dunham to Tim Curran: Oh my God, you killed Kenny! You bastard!
Laura Reilly: Dunham, how many times do I have to tell you it's too soon?
Tim Curran: It's getting very old, very fast.
Mark Reynolds: Not funny, man. Ken Foster was a friend.
Rebecca Milner: A very good friend ;)
Rebecca Milner: Not a floozy, just a woman of the world ;)
Malcolm Wallace to Jim Shannon: So…are you going to tell me who's been vandalizing my beloved rover?
Alicia Washington: We're all dying to know!
Jim Shannon: Still waiting on a written confession before I can reveal any further information on the matter…
Malcolm Wallace: Damn your confession just TELL us!
Maddy Shannon: That one devastating moment when your curling iron shorts out -_-
Skye "Bucket" Tate and Tasha Guzman like this.
Josh Shannon: Oh yes. Quite devastating. I can't imagine anything more devastating. Oh wait a sec, how about EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED WHEN THE PHOENIX GROUP CAME THROUGH HERE?
Maddy Shannon: You're not a girl. You don't understand.
Mark Reynolds: Maddy, I'm sorry for your loss. But you're still just as beautiful however your hair looks.
Maddy Shannon: See, Josh? THAT'S how you deal with the situation.
Maddy Shannon to Josh Shannon: You want devastating? How about this: FOX just cancelled Terra Nova :(
Josh Shannon: WHAT? After everything we suffered so that their ratings could soar, they thank us by dropping us? WHAT KIND OF DECISION IS THAT? Does this mean that I cease to exist? O.o
Maddy Shannon: Relax, doofus, you're still here. Unfortunately.
Zoe Shannon to Jim Shannon: Daddy, what's an illegal immigrant?
Jim Shannon: Why do you want to know?
Zoe Shannon: Because some kids at school said that you are one. And I am too.
Jim Shannon: -_-
Nathaniel Taylor: That one devastating moment when your beard trimmer shorts out -_-
Maddy Shannon likes this.
Maddy Shannon: I know exactly how you feel…
Jim Shannon and Mark Reynolds like "Petition to Give Commander Taylor an Eyepatch."
Nathaniel Taylor: What is the meaning of all this?
Jim Shannon: Eye patches make everyone look so much cooler! :D
Malcolm Wallace: Why do I get the feeling that the author isn't going to reveal the rover vandal until the end of this whole thing?
Jim Shannon likes this.
Jim Shannon: WHOA! It's like you're psychic or something!
Nathaniel Taylor is in a relationship with Alicia Washington.
Mira and eighteen others like this.
Mira: For realzies?
Nathaniel Taylor: Yes, for realzies this time.
Lucas Taylor: That's just disgusting, Dad. Keep that private D: Also, thanks a lot because Mira just hyperventilated from squealing and I do believe her nose is bleeding as well. -_-
Maddy Shannon: Awwwww! :)
Dunham: Permission to comment, sir?
Nathaniel Taylor: Denied.
Skye "Bucket" Tate: It's cute. In an odd sort of way…
Elisabeth Shannon: Congratulations! Do I hear wedding bells? And you see Jim? There wasn't any need to overreact about "them."
Jim Shannon: Okay, yes, I get it. I spoke too soon before. Congrats, I guess. It's still really weird…
Alicia Washington: Okay, yes, everyone just shut up about it, alright? Don't you people have jobs or something?
Kitty Coleman: Guess who's ba-ack!
Skye "Bucket" Tate: Well look what the carno dragged in…
Maddy Shannon: YOU! WHY?
Andrew Fickett (Ken Horton): Why hello there! I found myself a new cellmate!
Kitty Coleman: Ewwwww! I'd rather share a cell with Mark Reynolds ;)
Mark Reynolds: Oh crap. O.o
Maddy Shannon to Kitty Coleman: LEAVE MARK ALONE! D:
Mark Reynolds and Skye "Bucket" Tate like this.
Lucas Taylor to Kitty Coleman: Hey, sweet thang!
Kitty Coleman: Do I know you?
Lucas Taylor: No. But baby, I'd LOVE to get to know you ;)
Kitty Coleman: Back off—you look like a creep!
Skye "Bucket" Tate: Finally! Something you and I can agree on!
Kitty Coleman: So…does that mean you won't hurt me? :D
Skye "Bucket" Tate: No. I'm still gonna break your face.
Kitty Coleman: -_-
Jim Shannon to Elisabeth Shannon: You know, I've been thinking that we should adopt a pet dinosaur.
Zoe Shannon likes this.
Elisabeth Shannon: What ever for?
Jim Shannon: EVERY modern stone-age family needs a pet dinosaur…
Malcolm Wallace: I still want to know who's been vandalizing my rover D:
Jim Shannon and Alicia Washington like this.
Jim Shannon: Easy there, Malcolmus. It isn't over yet.
Maddy Shannon shared a link with Kitty Coleman: "Nicki Minaj Music Video: Stupid Hoe."
Skye "Bucket" Tate and Mark Reynolds like this.
Kitty Coleman: I find that quite offensive.
Skye "Bucket" Tate: Correct me if I'm wrong, but I do believe that was the point…
Maddy Shannon to Slasher: Hey, if you're interested, I have someone that I need you to "take care of" as discreetly as possible.
Slasher likes this.
Dunham: Who you gonna call? Tim Curran!
Slasher: Sorry, I'm a bit busy at the moment. But do send me the details…
Kitty Coleman: Oh no you don't! Not again! PS: hint—the first step in being discreet is not posting it all over your social networking page.
Malcolm Wallace: Poke war with Alicia Washington. It's on like Donkey Kong!
Alicia Washington likes this.
Alicia Washington: Cute. Malcolm thinks he stands a chance…
Jim Shannon to Nathaniel Taylor: I'm just about done with the interrogation, sir. Would you like a few words with the suspect?
Nathaniel Taylor and Malcolm Wallace like this.
Nathaniel Taylor: Yes I would, sheriff.
Malcolm Wallace: Goddammit just tell me already!
Elisabeth Shannon: Family dinner tonight. Maddy Shannon and Josh Shannon should bring a friend :)
Maddy Shannon, Josh Shannon, and five others like this.
Maddy Shannon: I know who I'm bringing :D
Josh Shannon: Me too :D
Zoe Shannon: Can I bring a friend too?
Elisabeth Shannon: Of course, dear. Who are you bringing?
Zoe Shannon: I'm inviting Sam Marcos :)
Jim Shannon: WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! Back up—you're inviting a BOY?
Elisabeth Shannon: Jim, they're six years old.
Jim Shannon: So what? He could still get ideas…
Mark Reynolds: Just put Tim Curran to shame in basketball :D
Alicia Washington, Maddy Shannon, and two others like this.
Tim Curran: Attention everyone: Mark Reynolds is a boastful child incapable of growing facial hair!
Mark Reynolds: That's a lie! I can grow facial hair! I just shave it off!
Tim Curran: Likely story. Why the heck would you shave it all off?
Mark Reynolds: Because my GIRLFRIEND likes the feel of smooth skin rubbing against her you-know-whats ;)
Tim Curran: Fine. You win. Again. -_-
Jim Shannon: She likes the feel of what against her WHAT now?
Mark Reynolds: Uh…
Maddy Shannon: Oh no. Not the chastity belt again!
Josh Shannon: Who replaced my shampoo with pink hair dye?
Maddy Shannon, Zoe Shannon, and six others like this.
Maddy Shannon: Hahahahahahahahahaha!
Josh Shannon: Not funny, Maddy -_- I look like a clown.
Skye "Bucket" Tate: I dunno, babe, I think it's a good look for you :P
Max Pope: So what we get drunk? So what we don't sleep? We're just having fun, we don't care who sees. So what we go out? That's how it's supposed to be: living young and wild and free…
Skye "Bucket" Tate, Hunter Boyce, and two others like this.
Hunter Boyce: My anthem!
Tasha Guzman: Preach it!
Nathaniel Taylor to Alicia Washington: You're wearing what now? ;)
Mira likes this.
Mira: SQUEEEEE! OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG, OMG!
Lucas Taylor: GROSS!
Alicia Washington: Uh, Nathaniel? You were supposed to put that into a private message, NOT AS YOUR STATUS -_-
Nathaniel Taylor: Crap. I hate technology.
Lucas Taylor to Skye "Bucket" Tate: Okay, okay, how about a truce? I'll leave you alone if you let me father your children.
Skye "Bucket" Tate: Um…how exactly do you plan to leave me alone AND father my children? And no!
Lucas Taylor: I swear I'll pay child support!
Skye "Bucket" Tate: No, Lucas.
Lucas Taylor: Can I godfather your children, then?
Skye "Bucket" Tate: I'll think about it…
Dormouse to Jim Shannon: Okay, buddy. Listen up. Ebi isn't aware that I'm on here (he doesn't allow me to have contact with the characters for fear that I'll 'corrupt their minds' or whatever). Anyway I REALLY need this job—it pays very well and not many people can afford to pay in mozzarella anymore. So when you start flinging accusations that I'M the one vandalizing the rover, that makes me look bad. And when I look bad I might get fired. I can't get fired—I have twenty-eight children to provide for! So kindly STEP OFF. Thanks.
Jim Shannon likes this.
Jim Shannon: Uh…did I just get told off by a dormouse?
Malcolm Wallace: Why yes. Yes you did.
Maddy Shannon: Rock my world into the sunlight, make this dream the best I've ever known…
Mark Reynolds, Skye "Bucket" Tate, and two others like this.
Hunter Boyce: Ugh. I hate that song.
Skye "Bucket" Tate: I LOVE THAT SONG :D
Hunter Boyce: ME TOO :D
Zoe Shannon to Lucas Taylor: Daddy taught me a song that I can sing if you try to give me free candy again: stop, don't touch me there—you know that is my no-no square! He also gave me this cool whistle…
Jim Shannon likes this.
Skye "Bucket" Tate: Bahahahahahahahahahahahaha. This day just keeps getting better :)
Lucas Taylor: Fine. I can take a hint.
Jim Shannon: Next step is finding her a nice, powerful taser. Or a big thing of pepper spray.
Alicia Washington: Throwing landmines at carnotaurs while running fiercely through the underbrush and battling sixers. YOLO.
Nathaniel Taylor, Laura Reilly, and four others like this.
Kitty Coleman: I just realized that most of the readers don't seem to like me much. Who's this Inky person and why does she want me to die a painful death at the hands of an Amazonian?
Skye "Bucket" Tate: The same reason we ALL want you to die a painful death at the hands of an Amazonian -_-
Slasher to Maddy Shannon: I'll accept your "contract." I would've killed her anyway—her incessant whining is starting to bug me.
Maddy Shannon likes this.
Nathaniel Taylor: Has anyone seen Kitty Coleman? She wasn't in her cell…
Maddy Shannon, Mark Reynolds, and eight others like this.
Maddy Shannon: Gee…I haven't seen her…
Skye "Bucket" Tate: You're right. Gosh, I hope she's okay…
Mark Reynolds: I'd HATE to see anything bad happen to her…
Nathaniel Taylor: You can stop with the sarcasm and false sincerity. I don't give a brach's ass where she went.
Jim Shannon to Malcolm Wallace: Alright Malcolmius, I guess I should just let you know who's been indicted with vandalizing your rover…
Malcolm Wallace, Alicia Washington, and four others like this.
Malcolm Wallace: TELL ME! TELL ME! TELL ME!
Alicia Washington: TELL ME! TELL ME! TELL ME!
Jim Shannon: Waiting on clearance to do so…
Malcolm Wallace: *growl*
Slasher checked into "Terra Nova Brig."
Jim Shannon: Alright, alright, alright—Slasher was just indicted on several counts of vandalism including slashing the tires of Malcolm's rover and filling it with spray cheese. We're also investigating his possible involvement in a homicide case…
Malcolm Wallace and Alicia Washington like this.
Slasher: I refuse to comment on the new allegations. I DEMAND A LAWYER!
Malcolm Wallace: Let's skin the dino and use him for a coat! Teach the lousy scoundrel not to go slashing people's tires…
Slasher: Hey look, I'm sorry okay? I'm a slasher. It's what I do.
Nathaniel Taylor: We're working on finding a lawyer…
Nathaniel Taylor: Anyone want to be Slasher's lawyer?
Slasher likes this.
Zoe Shannon: I'll do it!
Nathaniel Taylor: Good enough for me.
Slasher: Uh HELLO? She's a CHILD! I demand to see her credentials! What's her educational background?
Zoe Shannon: Um…kindergarten?
Slasher: Good enough for me.
Jim Shannon: So, now that that's been resolved…I guess this is the end?
Elisabeth Shannon, Nathaniel Taylor, and twenty others like this.
Elisabeth Shannon: I'm afraid so…
Nathaniel Taylor: Looks like it's the end, Sheriff.
Malcolm Wallace: I'm just happy that the vandal was apprehended.
Nathaniel Taylor: And so, loyal readers of this story, it is with heavy heart that I bid farewell to you all on behalf of myself, my security team, and all of the citizens of Terra Nova. We thank you for all of your support in this ambitious and ridiculously cracky adventure. Things have come to a close, now. Go with peace into this strange, prehistoric world. Be kind to the dinosaurs, and check out everything else that the author has written for this fandom. Thank you for your loyal dedication. It was an honor to make you laugh.
Jim Shannon, Mark Reynolds, and twenty others like this.
Jim Shannon: Ahem…attention whore.
Nathaniel Taylor: WHAT WAS THAT?
Jim Shannon: Nothing. I swear.
Maddy Shannon: Oh, you guys! I'm gonna miss you all soooooo much!
Josh Shannon: Chill, Maddy. We're still here. It's just the readers who won't be seeing these statuses anymore.
Maddy Shannon: I was REFERRING to the readers! Like I'd ever miss you…
Alicia Washington: It was a wild ride. Hugs all around. PS: Malcolm just surrendered to me in our poke war. My work here is done.
Lucas Taylor: So…back to the grave for you then?
Alicia Washington: Not a chance. I'm here to stay, baby!
Skye "Bucket" Tate: Seconded on the 'hugs all around.'
Lucas Taylor: Why thank you. I accept.
Skye "Bucket" Tate: Let me rectify that statement: hugs all around…except for Lucas :P
Lucas Taylor: :(
Skye "Bucket" Tate: Okay, hug for you too. Maybe you aren't SO bad…bro.
Elisabeth Shannon: Wow. I can't believe it's actually over. I'm crying a little bit!
Josh Shannon: WHY IS EVERYONE SO EMOTIONAL? IT'S NOT LIKE THEY CANCELLED OUR SERIES…oh wait.
Mark Reynolds: Peace out, everyone!
Zoe Shannon: Bye everyone! See you all soon, hopefully :)
Jim Shannon: And…scene! Thanks, guys!
Porky Pig: That's all folks!
A/N: So thank you for following this story through thick and thin. There were some very, VERY poorly written chapters along the way and I really wanted to end this story on a high note. I hope you guys liked it and thank you so much for bearing with me. It means so much. Every time I end a series, I feel a little bit sad, and this has been the hardest series for me to put a finisher on. It was so well-received, despite its crackiness and that means a LOT to me. I hope you'll continue to follow my other stories after this—who knows? I may just do another crack!fic at some point. Special thanks to Inkblood, metube, and all of my other loyal readers who contributed AMAZING ideas to help float this story. I wouldn't have been able to complete this thing without you all. So with all of this in mind, please leave a final review before closing out. And remember: if you ever want a good laugh, you can always come back and reread it :) Thanks guys.
PS: The dormouse is currently in time-out because he jacked my story for a brief moment. But don't worry. I won't be too hard on him.
PPS: I'm starting an "ebi pers" Twitter account so that you can all stay up-to-date on when and what I'm publishing, as well as news regarding Terra Nova as a whole. Follow me on Twitter! The handle is EbiPers. Once again, thanks for all the amazing support. I love you all and, in the wise words of Alicia Washington, "hugs all around!"I'll keep you all updated via Twitter.