Without You

Rated: M

Pairing: Gibbs/Abby

Disclaimer: Don't own NCIS or the characters.

Spoilers: Patriot Down, Spider and the Fly

A/N: This is set during the Season 8 episode Spider and the Fly. Chapter 1 takes place after the team finds the Day of the Dead dolls Paloma Reynosa left on their cars, and the one at Gibbs' house.

Chapter 1

It was after midnight when Abby turned up on his doorstep, bulging suitcase at her feet and Darren, the agent in charge of her safety, in tow. She grinned nervously when Gibbs opened the door, dressed in his loose fitting sweatpants and an old NIS shirt. Without question he reached out, picked up her case and nodded at the agent who turned and walked down the stairs.

"C'mon Abbs," he rested his hand on her lower back, ushering her inside and locking the door behind her.

She saw the two glasses and bottle of bourbon sitting on the table and looked around the room to if Jackson Gibbs or Mike Franks were still up. Upon seeing they were alone she felt slightly relieved. The thought of having to justify her sudden need to come over to anyone other than Gibbs was not something she wanted to go through after the day she'd had.

Gibbs sat her suitcase down at the bottom of the stairs and moved over to pour them both a drink. "Here," he said holding a glass out to her. "It'll help you sleep."

"You knew I was coming." It came out as more of a statement than a question and the shrug of his shoulders was really the only answer she needed. Gibbs had an uncanny knack of knowing things were going to happen before they actually did, although in this case she was certain Darren had something to do with it.

"I'm sorry," she started, continuing to look nervously around the room and not meeting his eyes. "I know you have a full house already, and this is probably the last thing you need but I just wanted to feel safe."

She swallowed the contents of her glass in one gulp and Gibbs took the empty glass from her and placed it on the table. Standing in front of her, one of his hands lifted her chin to face him while the other reached out to link their fingers. "This is my fault Abby, you have nothing to be sorry for...and there'll never be a time when you're not welcome, no matter who else is here."

Abby smiled at him, her apprehension vanishing with the reassuring squeeze of his hand. She pulled him into a hug, sighing at how calm she felt now safe within his arms. "It's not that I don't trust Darren, it's just...he's not you."

When she felt the soft kiss he pressed to her forehead she tightened her arms around his waist and let her eyes drift shut. Being this close to him was where she always felt safest and her earlier panic attack now began to feel like a distant memory. Gibbs ran his hand over her back and after a few moments neither of them had moved to break the embrace, both perfectly happy to stay where they were. Abby soon started to feel herself become sleepy, the warmth of his body and his soothing motions on her back causing her to yawn and nuzzle into his shoulder.

"Time for bed," she heard him say softly, feeling the slight rumble of his voice vibrate under her cheek.

Reluctantly she pulled back from him. Unsure of exactly where she'd be sleeping Abby waited for Gibbs to move first. She assumed his dad would be in the spare room, and knowing Mike he was more than likely down on the cot in the basement with some of Gibbs' bourbon keeping him company. Which only left Gibbs' bed or the couch.

"You can sleep in my bed," he said interrupting her thoughts.

He picked up her bag and led the way up the stairs, their footsteps quiet in an attempt to keep from waking Jackson. When they entered Gibbs' room Abby couldn't help but notice the way the sheet and blanket on his bed had been tossed, as if Gibbs had gotten up in a hurry.

"You're going to stay in here with me right?" she asked sheepishly, watching him put her things down in the corner of the room.

Part of her wanted him with her just so that feeling of being completely safe wouldn't leave her, but deep down Abby knew it was more than that. She had always been drawn to him, but now more than ever she found herself thinking of him more than just her boss and her friend. She was starting to realise that she'd never find someone that could fill the void in her life that only Gibbs could fill. When it came to Gibbs, there was no replacement, only he would make her happy.

"You sure?" he finally asked.

"Of course Gibbs, I'm not kicking you out of your own bed...and I like the idea of having you beside me."

He merely nodded and walked back towards the door. "I'll just go switch off the lights and get you some water."

Abby watched him go before she searched through her bag for her pyjamas. She pulled out the black cotton pants and was about to pick out the matching top when she noticed one of Gibbs' old marine shirts sitting on the chair next to her bag. Without a second thought she picked it up and took it with her into the bathroom to get changed.

When she returned to the room Gibbs was laying on his back in bed. He smiled at her in his t-shirt and she could feel his eyes following her as she put her clothes away and walked over to the bed.

"I can get you a new one of those shirts you know," he smirked.

"Yes, but it won't smell like you." She bit back the rest of her response, not saying that it felt like him too and in the simplicity of wearing the t-shirt she felt like every time it rubbed against her skin that he was touching her.

Slipping under the covers and laying down beside Gibbs, Abby rolled over to face him. She wanted to snuggle closer and put her arms around him but wasn't sure how he'd feel about her invading his space. Gibbs stared at the ceiling and even with the small amount of lighting that the bedside lamp provided Abby could tell his mind was racing.

"What are you thinking about?" she asked, daring to reach out and trail her fingers over his forehead.

"I'll make it up to you Abbs," he said softly, turning to face her. "When this mess is all over, I'll make it up to you."

She could see it was getting to him, having put everyone in danger and it only made her heart swell even more for him. It was difficult for Gibbs to let anyone see he had a vulnerable side and Abby wanted to do anything she could to help take the burden away from him. She trusted him more than anyone, and she knew that the faith she had in him would make him fight even harder to end this whole situation. She doubted anything she might say to him would make him punish himself less and in the end decided the best way to help was to offer the comfort that they always got from physical contact.

"Not that you need to make anything up to me, but I find a cuddle always helps."

Gibbs leaned over and turned off the light, darkness falling over them as he stretched out his arm and pulled her to nestle into his side. She felt the tension slowly start to leave him, the gentle circling of her hand on his chest slowing his breathing and forcing him to relax. Abby couldn't help but think about how things had come full circle in such a small amount of time. When she had arrived, upset and scared he had calmed her down and made her feel safe with only a few words and touches. And now here she was, helping his body and mind to forget the guilt and anger he had towards himself for placing her in danger. The realisation only helped to further cement her feeling for Gibbs. They knew and understood each other so well and she hoped that one day his feelings would develop into the same deep love she felt for him.

As her eyes adjusted to the dark she could make out the outline of his face, his eyes fluttering open and closed as he fought to stay awake. Taking hold of her hand on his chest Gibbs rolled over onto his side, facing away from her. He entwined their fingers tightly, bringing them back to his chest, her arm encircling him from behind. Abby followed his lead and pressed the front of her body up against his back, their legs tangling together. She was sure she heard him groan at the contact but decided now wasn't the time to be teasing him and instead pressed a light kiss to the back of his neck. Her head lay behind his on the pillow and she brought her face as close to him as she could, finally allowing her body to accept their nearness and the fact that neither of them was going anywhere. The scent of him combined with the softness of the sheets and the hardness of his body did very little to tame her unruly hormones but she closed her eyes and focused on her breathing.

"Night Gibbs."

"Night Abbs."

As difficult as she thought it might be to sleep so close to him Abby soon drifted off, content that she was safe and that Gibbs' mind was at rest, at least for now.

When Abby woke in the morning it was to find that their positions had been reversed. She could feel the warmth radiating from Gibbs' body as he completely enveloped her body from behind. The soft snores that came from beside her ear told her that he was still sleeping and she smiled; there was no other place she'd rather be than here.

Sunlight was only just beginning to filter in through the open curtains and when she looked at the clock to see it had only just gone 6am she let her heavy eyes drift shut again, savouring the presence of the man wrapped so tightly around her. Abby knew as soon as he woke, he'd be out of bed and for that reason she remained perfectly still. But with every passing minute she found it more difficult to not roll over and slowly kiss him awake. After last night she wanted Gibbs to know exactly how she felt about him and she had to know if he felt the same. She was aware of just how much was at stake and didn't want to give him more to worry about, but before he went to faceoff with Paloma she wanted Gibbs to know how much she loved him.

Before her thoughts could go any further Abby felt Gibbs shift against her, inhaling deeply when he buried his face in the curve of her neck. Her name came from between his lips as a sigh, his hand sliding from her waist to rest flat over her stomach, his leg protectively covering hers. "I don't wanna lose you," he mumbled sleepily against her skin.

The declaration surprised her and was enough to make her turn in his arms, needing to look into his eyes. She placed one hand on his shoulder and the other between his cheek and the pillow. The change in position also meant their lips were barely an inch apart, their breath mingling. "You won't. I'm right here."

"I wanted to kill him when he threatened you," he whispered, referring to the incident in the bullpen the day before with Alejandro Rivera. The threat had scared her and it, along with finding the Day of the Dead doll left by Paloma on her car had been the last straw, causing her weakening nerves to crumble.

Abby felt her mouth start to get dry and the tip of her tongue darted out to lick her lips, trying to moisten them so she could talk and not blend all her words together. The way their bodies had never broken contact since last night and what he had just said made her believe that he had similar feelings for her. But she still had doubts that he would want her in the same way she wanted and needed him. Knowing she might not get another chance she plucked up the courage to speak before it vanished just as quickly as it appeared. "Promise me you'll be careful today. After you finish this, we have some things to talk about...don't you think?"

Gibbs' answer was to press a kiss to the tip of her nose followed by her chin, his lips then coming to rest against hers. Abby held her breath as he started to nibble along her top lip and it was the only invitation she needed to return the kiss. Pushing him onto his back, her fingers glided through his hair, her mouth demanding as she deepened the kiss.

"Don't kiss me like this unless you mean it," she gasped, her lips moving frantically against his when she spoke.

Gibbs flipped them over, his tongue entering her mouth and his lips stifling her moan when his hands took hold of her waist. She couldn't get enough of the taste of him and just as her hunger was starting to take hold, their kisses becoming more intense, Gibbs drew back from her.

"I mean it," Gibbs said softly, leaning his forehead against her and trying to catch his breath.

"I don't want to lose you either," Abby admitted.

Gibbs kissed her again quickly and smiled. "I want to stay here with you but I need to get up. The sooner it's over, the sooner we can get back to this...to us."

Abby beamed at him; she liked the sound of that. And she loved that he was finally willing to give in to what they had both been trying to ignore. It didn't matter that his fear of losing her had pushed him to at last acknowledge his feelings. What mattered was that he felt the same way about her as she did about him and he wasn't afraid to show her anymore.

Soon dressed and ready to face the day they descended the stairs together, rounding the corner to find Jackson and Mike both sitting at the table drinking coffee.

"You're late probie. Can't say I blame you though, if I had someone as beautiful as Abby in my bed can't say I'd be in a hurry either."

Abby blushed and tried to hide her face from their view. Even though she and Gibbs hadn't gone beyond some touching and kissing things had definitely changed between them.

"You slept together?" Jackson asked, feigning ignorance.

"We slept in the same bed dad. Slept." Gibbs pointed out, trying to make it clear nothing had happened. Abby could tell from the satisfied grin on both Mike and Jackson's face that neither of them believed a word of it.

"Uh huh." Mike muttered under his breath

"If I'd known you were staying over I'd have cooked up a full breakfast," the older Gibbs smiled, getting to his feet. Abby pulled him into a hug and then he held her at arm's length to get a good look at her.

"It was kind of a last minute thing. You were already asleep when I got here last night and Gibbs and I went straight to bed." She saw Gibbs roll his eyes at the snort Mike tried to turn into a cough and she tried to hide her own grin.

"Darren will drive you to work okay Abbs, send someone out to get you some breakfast once you're inside the building. I'll come and see you later on."

Abby nodded and let him lead her towards the door. They both stopped before reaching the front door, realising that two sets of eyes were now on them. Gibbs leaned towards her, kissing her softly on the cheek. She placed both of her hands on his waist when he started to pull away, keeping him close and not caring who saw.

"Be careful...I love you," Abby said quietly so only he could hear.

Gibbs moved his mouth so it was touching the tip of her ear, "I love you too." The huskiness in his voice made her shiver, his words making her heart soar.

With a final shy kiss, this time on his lips, she turned and walked out through the front door, laughing when she heard Gibbs trying to answer the barrage of questions from his father.