"This blows…" complains Sam while he watches Dean walk out the motel door. Dean chuckles at his brother and says "Don't worry Sammy, as soon as your black eye and your busted brow heals, I'll take you out. But we can't risk getting noticed, man. You know that. People see your busted girly face and start asking questions." He laughs. "We already have our faces printed on a wanted poster in this town."

Sam lets out a frustrated breath and nods his head, touching the itchy spot on his stitched up brow. "It fuckin' itches… Get something from the drug store for this on your way back, I can't fucking stop touching it." His desperate attempt at trying to establish a subtle curfew fails miserably. He doesn't like Dean going out by himself at night. He knows Dean's not going anywhere dangerous, just to down a few beers and hit on girls at a local bar. But, after all, Sam doesn't like Dean with "girls" either. He doesn't know why he is so upset about this, but he can't stop grieving over it. His stomach's all in knots while he watches Dean smile at him at the doorway. That's what he loves. That tired acrid smile, and the wrinkles around his eyes. He would give up anything to feel them. But he can't. As much as he is willing to give up everything for a…different set of behavior from Dean, he can't. He doesn't have the guts to tell him that he sees Dean as more than just his brother. That he loves him…but not in the way Dean thinks he does. So he shuts up, and plays along, stuffing these stupid clingy feelings down and covers it up with a bunch of other thoughts.

Dean smiles and shouts "Don't mess with it; I did good handy work there. I'll be back late, don't wait up… Night, Sammy." Then he turns around and shuts the door behind him. The room is dead silent. Sam's stomach adds another knot to the pile and leaves him feeling worse. He lets his body fall on the queen sized bed on the left, the one away from the door, and turns on the TV.

Meanwhile, Dean fishes for keys in his pocket, and feels the familiar metal touch on his fingertip. He mumbles "Baby…" while he unlocks the door and slides inside. He's going to drown out Sam's face tonight. He's going to bury those wrong thoughts under tons of make-up on some eager bitch, under layers of miniskirts, and revealing tops. He intends to get drunk enough to be able to actually get it on with a woman again. He remembers the last 3 tries and grimaces. This time will be different, he thinks. I just have to empty my head, not think about Sam.

He pulls up at a shady bar, and drags himself in. Before he perches on a bar stool, he throws a careless glance across the room. Nobody catches his eye, again… So he orders beer after beer, till he loses clarity. Then he carries on with what he came here to do. He eyes the chick sitting next to him and makes his move. 15 minutes later, he is walking to the Impala, a hand on the girl's back. A girl he didn't even bother to ask the name. But he's too drunk to drive, so he guides the girl to the backseat. .She lays down on her back, waiting for Dean to strip him. Dean grabs the skirt and pulls it up, and without even waiting, yanks her underwear down… He holds his hand up, 2 inches away from her, but he can't. He just can't do it. He lost all interest in women a long time ago. Not that he is now into men… It's weird. He has no desire to look at men either. But Sam… He only gets that flame below his stomach when he looks at Sam. How the fuck did he let this happen? The girl waits for Dean to touch her, but Dean is already in deep thoughts of the smooth skin of his brother. How he wants to trace along his arms, and kiss his neck. Dean shakes his head and discerns the situation he is in. He gets up and out of the car. Holds the door, and says "I can't, sorry. You mind?" The girl shoots a death glare at Dean, confused, and pulls herself together and gets out of the car. She flips him off before shouting "Jackass!" from afar and walks back into the bar. Dean lets out a thousand years worth of breath, and goes around the car to the driver seat. It's 2 am.

Being the drunken slob he is; Dean lingers in front of the door looking for his keys. He gets in, and shuts the door behind him. Locks it, and renews the salt line before yanking his shirts off of himself. He needs a shower, bad. Making his way to the bathroom, he checks on Sam to make sure he's there, safe and sound. Sam's sleeping, facial muscles all relaxed, looking sort of peaceful. Dean knows this is a rare face. He is always mopping and brooding when he is awake. It's nice to see those brows not cramped up on his face for a change. He gets in the bathroom, leaving the door slightly ajar. He drops his clothes on the floor, and steps inside the shower, completely oblivious to the fact that Sam is awake. He stands beneath the shower, letting the water fall on his back, and wash his frustration away. But he can't get Sam out of his thoughts. He feels the blood rushing to his unattended member. He desperately needs release. He grips the base of his shaft, and leans on the wet wall tiles with his other arm. After leans with his forearm, he buries his face on his arm, and starts rubbing.

Sam forces himself to stay in bed. But he can't help it. The door is open, like a wordless invitation, compelling him to take a look. He imagines drops of water falling down on his brother's freckled chest, his perfectly shaped arms, and his lips. He has to look. He gets up, and notices that he is already half hard, just thinking about Dean. He can't have Dean, but at least he can…watch. So he slowly opens the door a little more, just enough to see Dean. And he freezes at the sight. Dean losing himself under the tight grip of himself, moaning and panting under the water. Dean tries his hardest not to make a sound, but he cant help but let out low, dark moans, and when he touches his slit, a silent "Sammy…Ah.." slips out of his lips. Sam blinks a few times, trying to understand what came out of Dean's mouth. Dean wants him, like he wants Dean… All this time he has been holding out because he thought he could never have Dean. But now… It feels like the most impossible thing happened, and he had to believe it. His stomach burns up with excitement and nervousness.

He acts on that one minute of pure happiness, and slips out of his shirt and boxers. He opens the door, Dean doesn't notice, he's still rubbing his hard cock, muscles stretching, and his body responding to every touch. He walks up to the shower, and gets in.

Dean hears the sound behind him, and turns his head, to meet Sam's face, smiling at him. "Sam-. Wha… what are you doing here, ma—" But before he gets to finish his sentence, Sam covers his lips with his own, pressing Dean to the shower wall, their cocks brushing against each other… Dean shakes off his surprise and responds to Sam's deep hungry kisses.

Their lips part… Both have something to say to each other. "You don't know how hard I've tried to keep this bottled up, Sam. It was fucking frustrating."

"Me too. I've been holding out for this, I only wanted to have this, Dean." Replies Sam, with a husky voice, watching drops of water slide down Dean's lips, just like he imagined.

"So, wait, you've never—" Dean is thrown off by this revelation. "But how, I've seen you pick up women… You went home with them, how?"

"I just drove them home Dean… I knew I didn't want this, from the beginning… I knew I wanted …my brother." Says Sam, brushing his fingertips on Dean's neck. "I want you to do it, man… I always did."

"Sammy…" Dean charges onto Sam's lips, licking at his lower lip, even harder than before, and responsive to every touch of Sam's hard member against his. Sam takes his lips away from Dean's, and bites the soft skin on his neck, sucking till he's satisfied with the mark he leaves. Now Dean is his… All to himself. He makes his way down, grabbing and spreading Dean's thigh as he lets out a groan. He has to hear more of that, that perfect sound of Dean losing control of his reactions, that sound of pleasure. Sam's cock jumps at the thought, and he opens his mouth, covering the tip of Dean's member, while his hands grab Dean's ass to move him closer, get in, deeper. As soon as Dean feels the warmth around his cock, he clutches Sam's soft wet hair, "Ah.. ah, Sammy…"

Sam moves forward and backwards, sucking on Dean, letting him have heaven on earth. Dean tastes salty, and unlike anything he tastes before, it burns up his stomach, making him even harder, and he leaks, he can come, without even touching himself… Dean's chest swells up and comes down faster and faster, leaving him out of breath, panting for more. He can't handle it anymore, he has to have Sam.

He reaches for the shower handle, and turns it off. Then cups Sam's cheeks with his palms and gets him to stand up. After a slight peck on the lips, Dean guides Sam out of the shower, and onto the bed, grabbing the towel as he gets out of the bathroom. Sam falls on the bed on his back, he is blushing but he doesn't even notice. He is nervous, nervous that for a first time, he won't be good enough for Dean. Little does he know that Dean has the same nervousness, he wants to be the perfect first for Sam. Dean gets on top of Sam, his legs spread, and Sam's legs between them. He dries Sam's chest up, while placing soft kisses on his chest as he goes. Then puts the towel on Sam's hair and waits for the towel to suck the water. After drying himself carelessly, he throws the towel on the floor, and bends over to kiss Sam's lips, they're buzzing with heat; Dean can't get enough of it… of Sam. He feels Sam's hard as rock member leaking pre-cum on his stomach, and licks his way down to suck Sam off. His protect-Sammy-at-all-costs instinct is still fully functioning, and he tries to be careful with his every move, not to make Sam uncomfortable on his first experience. The air between them, its intensified with their eagerness, like this has been the only thing they were waiting for their whole lives. Sam gasps when Dean covers his cock with the heat of his mouth. Nothing can compare to this, this feeling of pure pleasure. He can easily get lost in it, lose his mind. Dean brushes against Sam's slit with his tongue, and Sam grabs the sheets, feeling the agonizing pressure of lust all over his body. Dean slowly moves his mouth up and down, and then picks up speed as Sam's lungs scream for air, and more of this.

"Ah… Dean! Baby, more..Ahh..!" Sam loses control of all his muscles and instinctively grabs Dean's spiked hair when Dean reaches the base of his shaft, its all the way in.

Dean senses that Sam is close, so he gets his cock out of his mouth. Gives one slight lick to the tip, just to hear that beautiful sound again, and whispers "Are you..okay, Sammy? Are you sure you want to do this?"

Sam takes a few seconds to adjust his breath and says "I… I'm sure Dean, this is the only thing I've been sure of all my life."

Dean flashes a gentle smile at Sam, swimming in utter happiness, and places a kiss on Sam's stomach. Then he grabs him by the hips, and helps him lie down on his stomach, legs spread, and revealing Sam's throbbing asshole. That red circle around it; it's begging to be licked.

I didn't think rimming could be so amazing, so….fulfilling… I would've never guessed… thinks Dean as he traces his hand around the ring of red. Sam flinches with the cold sensation of Dean's finger, and it shoots a wave of pleasure down his spine. He moans, and Dean smiles again, just before he buries his face and licks open Sam. Then he slowly pushes in one finger, and Sam gasps as the first ring of muscle opens up, then two, and three…

Dean reaches for the lube in his duffel right next to the bed, while his right hand is still giving Sam the best time of his life. He lubricates Sam's hole, and leans over Sam's back to his ear, whispering "Are you ready, baby?"

A silent "Yes…" falls out of Sam's mouth, and Dean pushes in. Sam's back arches, and a thousand waves of pleasure hits him, he grows weak on his knees as each wave washes through him.

"Dean.. Ahh!" he shouts as Dean begins thrusting in a teasing pace. He reaches down and grabs Sam's shaft tightly, and feels Sam building up, he is very close.

"Just… let me, Dean, it's too much pressure… Ahh…" he pleads as Dean squeezes tighter.

"Not yet, baby, I'm not there yet, and I want... this to be at the same time." And he starts pounding harder and deeper, feeling the flames in his stomach getting stronger, and his fluids building up inside him. "I'm almost there, Sammy, just hold on…"

The clapping of Dean's hips against Sam's blushed red butt cheeks fills the room. Dean leans over Sam, biting his shoulder blades, and sucking on his salty taste, leaving a mark, just like Sam did. He feels Sam's throbbing member in his hand, ready to shoot, and burning up. Sam's moans are not silent anymore, he is shouting, pleading for release, and Dean is there too. He give one more big thrust into Sam's spot, and fills him up, shooting stronger than ever, like he hasn't done before, letting his grip on Sam's cock go loose, and Sam comes, screaming, and arching. They are one, Dean crashes onto Sam's back, still inside him, feeling the pulsating around Sam's hole.

They fall onto the bed, still shivering from the strong orgasms, and they hold onto each other, savoring every second of the after waves, the pulsating members. Dean kisses the back of Sam's neck…" Oh… Sammy, I love you."

Sam grabs Dean's hand around his waist, and whispers "I love you too, Dean, you're everything I have, even my first."

Their bodies are worn out, still flaming hot, and they hold each other tightly as sleep slowly overcomes their will… They fall asleep, like it's something they do all the time. It's natural, and filled with love.