(A/N: Just before I was going to pick the next song, I saw that there's a musical called "I Ham What I Ham" and thought of Sam Puckett in an instant.)

"Sam, didn't you start dating Brad a week ago?" Valerie asked. "How come you broke up with him already?"

"He wasn't the boy I really loved," Sam answered subtly, taking a sip from her styrofoam cup of Strawberry Splat.

"Then who do you really love?" Missy asked, raising her eyebrows and smirking. The other girls at the table giggled, and Sam shook her head.

"That part, my friends, is none of your business," she answered. The girls groaned and punched Sam's shoulder lightly.

"Well, the gossip mill is about to die," Wendy hinted dramatically. Sam made a face, causing the two good friends to laugh if off.

"Give us a hint," Patrice begged. "Does he go to Ridgeway?"

"Yes," Sam answered, rolling her eyes. "Where else? Briarwood?" The other girls began laughing as if Sam had said the best joke in the world.

"I was offered a scholarship there," Carly said. Everyone stopped and stared at Carly.

"You said no, right?" Tasha asked as she gnawed on a carrot stick.

"Of course," Carly answered cautiously. "It's in Yakama, and I don't want to drive three hours a day for school. I mean, that's crazy!"

"Only bitches go there," Sam said sourly.

"Like Melanie!" Shannon piped up in the little bit of English she knew. Sam slammed her fist down on the table, startling her.

"I will send you on the first flight back to Hungary with a broken leg and unable to speak anything," she threatened.

"I sorry, I sorry!" Shannon cried, shaking her head, seeming as if she was about to burst into tears.

"Good." Carly was about to ask who Melanie was, but decided against it, just in case Sam would end up ripping her head off.

"Well, is he a junior at Ridgeway?" Tasha asked Sam, changing the subject back.

"Maybe," Sam answered, dragging out the word as long as she could. The other girls whispered among themselves, trying to figure out who.

"Is he... your ex?" Wendy asked, wiggling her eyebrows. The other girls began laughing and Sam waved her hands until they quieted down.

"Yes." The girls began screaming in joy, causing everyone else in the Groovy Smoothie to leave, obviously annoyed.

"Which ex of yours is it?" Valerie asked in a hushed tone.

"I'm not saying anything!" The girls groaned and threw balled up napkins at Sam.

"Hey!" T-Bo shouted at the large group of girls. "When can I put all of the tables back?" He motioned to the giant empty space in the middle of the restaurant, as the other girls had dragged all of the tables and chairs to the raised platform by the staircase in the restaurant.

"Later," Sam replied. T-Bo let out a frustrated groan and stormed into the kitchen.

"Well, I'm going to go use the bathroom," Carly said. She rose out of her seat and walked briskly towards the restrooms. As soon as she did, the front door flung open, and a bunch of guys from Ridgeway ran through. The girls squealed in delight and tried to avoid them as the boys poked their guts and played with their hair.

"People everywhere
A sense of expectation
Hanging in the air
Giving out a spark
Across the room your eyes
Are glowing in the dark."

The girls were trapped in the middle of a ring of boys who were reaching out for them, longing to be with them. They giggled and slapped the boys' hands away.

"And here we go again
We know the start
We know the end
Masters of the scene
We've done it all before
And now we're back
To get some more
You know what I mean."

Sam made a quick decision to get on her hands and knees and crawl underneath and between everyone's legs to get to the outside of the large crowd without being caught.

"Voulez-vous
Take it now or leave it
Now is all we get
Nothing promised
Voulez-vous
Ain't no big decision
You know what to do
La question
C'est voulez-vous
Voulez-vous."

"Sam!" Sam turned to see Shane, smiling and waving.

"Shane?" Sam asked, confused. "What... Why...?"

"I realized today why you've rejected me after all of these years," Shane said. "You wanted me to be your first kiss, but then I opted with Missy instead! Don't worry, I will change that!" He disappeared back into the crowd. "You'll see!"

"Oh boy," Sam sighed as she picked up her smoothie cup (at least she thought) and took a giant sip as the boys moved in on the girls.

"And here we go again
We know the start
We know the end
Masters of the scene
We've done it long before
And now we're back
To get some more
You know what I mean.

Voulez-vous
Take it now or leave it
Now it all we get
Nothing promised
No regrets."

"Sam!"

"Oh, no, not now!" Sam moaned as Freddie ran up to her.

"Wendy says that you're in love with one of your exes," he said.

"Don't believe that ginger," Sam protested.

"It's alright," Freddie assured her. "I know who it is!"

"You do?" Sam asked.

"Of course- it's me!"

"Oh... no..."

"Well, after all of the singing and actions and signals, I don't know who else!" Freddie kissed Sam's cheek and backed away. "I love you too!"

"Why me?" Sam asked to no one in particular.

"Voulez-vous
Ain't no big decision
You know what to do
La question
C'est voulez-vous
Voulez-vous."

"Sam, baby, I need to talk to you!" Brad called out. He reached for Sam and pulled her into the crowd.

"Brad, this isn't the place!" Sam cried.

"I don't care where this happens, I just need to let you know that I know that I'm the one you love," Brad said. Sam's eyes widened.

"What?" she asked.

"It's okay, because I'll go back out with you!" He planted a big, wet kiss on Sam's lips. He smiled as he pulled away and joined the others as they put their arms around each other and turned in different directions, depending on which circle they were in. Sam stood in the middle, alone and confused.

"Voulez-vous
Take it now or leave it
Now is all we get
Nothing promised
No regrets
Voulez-vous
Ain't no big decision
You know what to do
Pas question
Voulez-vous."

All of Sam's exes were in the inner circle. The next circle was everyone else. All eyes were on Sam, who kept on turned in circles, staring at someone else's eyes every time. Eventually, the commotion cause Sam to fall over and black out. The last words she heard after the music stopped was from Carly;

"Did you guys... DANG IT!"