Disclaimer: I do not Own Harry Potter, nor any of the listed Quotes.

Long Story Short: Upon my Harry Potter FaceBook Page [The 7HP books are my 7 horcruxes, without them i wouldn't have a life], I asked fans for NON-HP Quotes that I would Potterfy in some way or another... This is the direct result...

ENJOY!


~*POTTERFIED QUOTES & QUIPS*~

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~*Chapter 1*~


ORIGINAL QUOTE:

"I take them up like the male and female

paper dolls and bang them together

at the hips like chips of flint as if to

strike sparks from them, I say

Do what you are going to do, and I will tell about it."

—I go back to May 1937 by Sharon Olds

.

POTTERIFIC:

"I take them up like the male and female

paper dolls and bang them together

at the Head like the Disappointments they are. As if to

shake loose what little brains they possess, and I say

Do what you are going to do, and I will take 10 points from Gryffindor."

—Snape

~PF

To be fair, THAT ONE WAS FIREBOLTING HARD.

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ORIGINAL QUOTE:

"be prepared for the worst my love, for it lives next door to the best"

.

POTTERFIED:

"Be prepared for the worst my love, for it lives next door to the best..." - James Potter, as he cradled his wife to his chest, then shoved her from him and into the Nursery where their infant son, Harry, lay crying.

~PF

Yep, pretty much whatever comes to mind...

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ORIGINAL QUOTE:

" Its Not About Winning, Its About The Will To Win."

.

POTTERFIED:

"Its' Not About Winning, Its About The Will To Win... but, if you get the chance, knock those smug Slytherins off their brooms!" ~Oliver Wood, Keeper & Captain, Gryffindor Quidditch Team.

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ORIGINAL QUOTE:

" What in Thor's name is going on hear"

.

POTTERFIED:

"What in Thor's name is going on here? Mr Davis, this is the Ladies Lavatory! OUT!" ~Professor Mcgonagall

~PF

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ORIGINAL QUOTE:

""Why are you wet?"

"I was in the swimming pool"

"I thought you were in the library?"

"So was the swimming pool"

- The Doctor and Amelia Pond"

.

POTTERFIED:

Harry: "Why are you wet?"

Ron: "I was in the swimming pool..."

Hermione: "I didn't think we HAD a Swimming Pool, Ron..."

Dumbledore (singing): "Don't you know that here at Hogwarts...we've got a Hidden Swimming Pool...?"

AVPM/S Reference

~PF

I WENT THERE.

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ORIGINAL QUOTE:

"I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I'm not"

.

POTTERFIED:

"I'd rather be hated for saving the world, than standing back and watching it all burn..." -Harry Potter.

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ORIGINAL QUOTE:

"About three things I was absolutely positive.

First, Edward was a vampire.

Second, there was a part of him-and I didn't know how dominant that might be- that thirsted for my blood.

And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him."

.

POTTERFICATION #1:

"About three things I was absolutely positive.

First, Draco was a Pure-Blood.

Second, there was a part of him-and I didn't know how dominant that might be- that hated me for my blood Status.

And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him."

~Harry

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POTTERFICATION #2:

"About three things I was absolutely positive.

First, Ron was an Idiot.

Second, there was a part of him-and I didn't know how dominant that might be- that I couldn't stand...namely that insipid creature attached to his arm 24/7...Lavender Brown.

And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him."

~Hermione

~PF

I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF

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ORIGINAL QUOTE:

"I'm not a lesbian I just hate men"

.

POTTERFICATION:

"I'm not prejudiced... I just hate Muggles and want them all to die Screaming..."

-Voldemort

~PF

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ORIGINAL QUOTE:

"Now get back to your room—if you can manage it without throwing yourself at someone else."

"Is that your subtle way of calling me a slut?"

.

POTTERFICATION:

Hermione: "Now get back to your room—if you can manage it without throwing yourself at someone else."

Lavender Brown: "Is that your subtle way of calling me a slut?"

Hermione: "Exactly."

~PF

Okay, not so much, but I think that needed to be left as it was...

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ORIGINAL QUOTE:

"Well, well. Jack Sparrow, isn't it?"

"Captain Jack Sparrow, if you please, sir."

"Well, I don't see your ship, Captain."

"I'm in the market, as it were."

.

POTTERFIED:

"Well, well. Ickle Potty, is it...?"

"Harry POTTER, if you please, Peeves."

"Well, I don't see your hair, POTTER...all pouffy and sticky-uppy..."

"Oh shut it, I know what you did in my Shampoo..."

~PF

You should be SCARED.

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ORIGINAL QUOTE:

"That is why I have chosen my own particular profession, or rather created it, for I am the only one in the world" - Sherlock Holmes

.

POTTERFICATION:

"That is why I am the only one in this most particular profession, or rather was created to be in it, for I am the only Chosen One in the world. though if you give me a hundred Volunteers and half an hour, I'm sure I could find another one, maybe two..."

- Harry Potter

~PF

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ORIGINAL QUOTE:

"What is it to-day, cocaine or morphine?"

-Dr Watson.

.

POTTERFICATION:

Hermione: "What is it today, Felix Felicius or some 'Lucky' Talisman? You're going to have to tell him at some point, Harry..."

Harry: "When he's ready, Hermione, when he's ready..."

*pause*

Harry: "On the plus side, Hermione, this last match proves that as a goalie or a boyfriend, he's a real... 'KEEPER'!"

*Recieves Whack*

~PF

I saw this in my mind...had to make it happen.

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ORIGINAL QUOTE:

"And he woke up the next morning and he rolled over and realised... Dun dun dunnnn... She was his cousin."

Raj from TBBT

.

POTTERFICATION:

"And I woke up the next morning and when I rolled over, I realised... Dun dun dunnnn... It was Fred!" -George

~PF

Yes, yes I did just go there. IT CANNOT BE UNSEEN.

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ORIGINAL QUOTE:

"If anything happens... Run."

.

POTTERFICATION:

"If Snape brings out the Shackles, Harry... Run. Just...Run..."

-Pale, wide-eyed Draco

~PF

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ORIGINAL QUOTE:

"Don't blink. Blink and you're dead. Good luck"

.

POTTERFICATION:

"Don't Break, Harry. Break and they're all Dead... If nothing else, I will save them all..." and he wished himself good luck inside his mind, before rounding the bend and facing Voldemort head on.

~PF

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ORIGINAL QUOTE:

"See, people see time as a strict progression from cause to effect, when in fact, it's a big ball of wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey... stuff."

.

POTTERFICATION:

Neville: "See, people see gillyweed as a rubbery, slime-like substance, when in fact, it's a big ball of wibbly-wobbly, snot-coloured jiggly jelly... stuff."

Harry: "...You know I now have to eat that, right?"

~PF

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ORIGINAL QUOTE:

"so raise your glass if you are wrong in all the right ways all my under dogs we will never be never be anything but loud and nitty gritty dirty little freaks - p!nk, raise your glass"

.

POTTERFICATION:

*Umbridge & Inquisitorial Squad burst into Room of Requiement*

Umbridge: "WHAT is going on HERE?"

*Smug* Harry: Tell her, guys...

Dumbledore's Army theme Song Starts as the Students Serenade Umbridge:

"So raise your Wands if you are wrong,

in all the right ways,

All my DA Pals

We will never be, never be,

Anything but loyal

To Professor Dumble-dore

Rebellious little Freaks"

.

Harry (winks at Umbridge): SO SUCK IT!

.

~PF

Yeah, all I could think of, really...

ORIGINAL QUOTE:

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"Call me Willy"

- Transformer 2

.

POTTERFICATION:

.

*Stunned Silence*

Hermione: "Poke your WHAT?"

Ron: "I said, 'Isn't it Chilly?'"

Hermione: "...Oh."

*walks off*

Ron: *phew*

~PF

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ORIGINAL QUOTE:

"asante sana squash banana wewe nugu mimi hapana"

-Rafiki, The Lion King

.

POTTERFICATION:

"Asante sana squash banana wewe nugu mimi hapana!"

Hermione: "Neville, no offense, but I can see why you're failing Charms..."

~PF

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ORIGINAL QUOTE:

"When we get back, this is gonna make one great story. Yup... but... of course, not a single soul will ever believe me."

Tai Kamiya - Digimon Adventure

.

POTTERFICATION:

"When we get back, this is gonna make one great story. Yup... but... of course, not a single soul will ever believe me." Harry beamed, turning back to wave farewell to Dumbledore...only to find the Professor already walking into the blinding white.

A train whistle blew, and with one blink, the station was gone...he was alive again.

~PF

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ORIGINAL QUOTE:

"Being a Digidestined means that sometimes you have to save the world, even if you're the one who caused the problem."

Kari Kamiya - Digimon The Movie

.

POTTERFIED:

"Being Best Friends with the Bloody Chosen One means that sometimes you have to save the world, even if you're the one who caused the problem...which is not an admittance of anything..."

"Ron, we know it was you who put the Dementors in the Slytherin Common Room... and we're very proud of you!" said Fred, who -along with George- attempted to squeeze the life out of their baby brother with a giant bear hug...

That, to Ron, felt slightly more along the lines of being throttled by an overly affectionate Octopus...

~PF

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ORIGINAL QUOTE:

"Its a screwdriver, and its Sonic..."

The doctor

.

POTTERFICATION:

"Its a Juice, and it's Poly..."

-Ron, shrugging at Snape's Question

~PF

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ORIGINAL QUOTE:

"I dreamed I was a butterfly, flitting around in the sky; then I awoke. Now I wonder: Am I a man who dreamt of being a butterfly, or am I a butterfly dreaming that I am a man?"

—Chuang Tzu

.

POTTERFICATION:

"I dreamed I was a Seeker, flitting around in the sky; then I Fell off the bedrail and all the others were staring at me... Now I wonder: What on earth was I doing that was so interesting that they were taking pictures?"

-Harry

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THERE YOU ARE, ALL FINISHED...


Review if you liked it!^^

~Phoenix Fire/SailorSilvanesti~