a/n; can you tell that it's obvious that i don't know shit about the american high school system. this is unbeta'ed.
also my tenses are horrible and there are probably a million bajillion mistakes in this
how do i do tenses. idk. does anybody wanna be my beta
o kay i'll stop now
"I think I might like you, dude. Like, like-like. As in, yes homo."
That was Stan Marsh's oh-so-eloquent confession to Kyle Broflovski during the gap between first and second period whilst Kyle was busy stuffing books into his locker. Kyle, still slightly agitated from the physics pop quiz he'd just had and only half-listening to his super best friend, could only let out a, "What."
Kyle's response did little to calm poor Stan's frazzled nerves, and honestly, Stan would've much rather waited for the right moment to confess his attraction to his best friend; preferably just after an marathon of watching Terrence and Phillip. He'd slip their fingers together and Kyle wouldn't say anything and then everything's just perfect and then he'd say it, those little words, 'I think I could be in love with you.' And then Kyle would smile and then they'd kiss and, "Oh my God", Stan thinks in horror, "I am so fucking gay."
It's then that Stan decides to stop dreaming and get back to the real world. He looks over at Kyle, who's still stuffing books in to his locker. God, that boy could be so slow, but oh sweet baby Jesus, the view of his ass from where Stan's standing is positively heavenly.
"Um. Weren't you...weren't you, um, listening?"
"Not really, no. You said something about homos?" Thank the people that decided that Kyle's locker should be the crappy low ones, the type where you have to bend down to put your stuff in...Not that Stan's looking, nope. He's a gentleman, not one to look at his potential-boyfriend-to-be's butt without his permission.
Stan takes a breath and decides to start confession version 2.
"Listen, Kyle. You know we've been best-no, super best friends since like, forever? Well, I think that our...um, relationship needs an upgrade-"
At the word 'upgrade', Kyle head snapped up and he dropped the books that he was cradling in his arm. He turned his suspicious gaze at Stan, "What do you mean by upgrade?"
"W-Well, what I mean is that I'd really like for you to be my-"
"Fuckbuddy? Is that what you want, Stan? I expected fucking better from you!" Oh God, Kyle's face was beginning to get red. His face always got like that whenever Cartman's around; it's a sign that he's close to explosive anger.
"What? No! I-Jesus Christ, Kyle! Don't put words in my mouth!"
"You know what? I expected this proposition to come from Kenny or someone. Not you, I would never have thought you were the type of guy to have fuckbuddies."
"What." And now Stan's confused. Stan is very, very confused. Stan doesn't know how Kyle came from not listening to being angry to now...kicking his locker shut and (ignoring the pile of books on the floor) leading Stan to the...janitor's closet?
Every teenage movie/tv show made him know what's coming next, because Kyle is leading him to the janitor's closet. And every teenager knows that janitors closet=sloppy makeouts and sexy times.
Before Stan could argue, Kyle's already pushed him in and blocked the door.
Just before the end of the second period, Kyle already looks presentable, clothes done up, hair managed into a slick style whilst Stan is still blushing with his clothes wrinkled and his hair looking like it could pass off for a bird's nest.
At the exact same time that the bell rang, signaling the end of second period, Kyle opened the door and walked out. Then, as an afterthought, winked back at Stan.
"See you later, fuckbuddy."
And Stan, poor Stan, could only stand in the dark of the janitor's closet and think, just how did Kyle become so good at sloppy makeouts?
oh snap hamsteak references.
i just really like style, okay.