There was that voice again. Frightfully irritating that he couldn't shut it out. He wondered if he once could or if Alexander had always been this invasive to the poor Englishman's mind. If he could have shut it out, Daniel would have thought he'd find a note left by himself explaining how. He'd just have to fight through it…
I know you can hear me Daniel. You used to like my voice you know. You would jump at the sound of your name depending on the tone I used…
Daniel's face felt a bit hot at that suggestion, as if he had just been insulted. The thought of reacting in any way to the voice of a man he should hate was revolting. Lately headaches had come with flashes of memory, but none of those were good things, and they usually didn't involve Alexander. It was as if he would rather remember the terrible details of his sins than think of that man.
You would cringe like a beaten dog when I scolded you. A sultry chuckle echoed through his head. Daniel stopped walking to glare off into a dark corner, where shadows played out of reach of his lantern. It never stopped you from asking those naïve questions of yours, though. Oh but when I praised you…
"Quiet." Daniel said aloud, turning his head to continue on down the hallway. It was cold down in the prison where he seemed to find himself right now. It was as if the old stone walls leeched the warmth from his very skin, chilling him to the bone. It was a labyrinth here, and he wished he'd left himself a few maps as well as notes…
Lost, are you? Well that's nothing new. If you but made it to the requested room on time I was always surprised.
Daniel couldn't even think straight at this rate. He came to a fork in the hallway, and he found himself looking back and forth. Had he last gone left or right? The lantern was a sphere of light, an orb of existence in an otherwise black abyss. He had begun to wonder if perhaps this prison had a way out!
Daniel dear, are you ignoring me? That's very rude.
Daniel outright scoffed, giving another glare off into the shadows as if Alexander was standing just out of his sight. For all he knew he was.
This is a mistake Daniel. It's all just a big misunderstanding. Do you even know why it is you're doing this? You drank that vile liquid in anger, Daniel. What we did we did together, I am no more guilty than you.
Daniel felt a sick twist in his gut, an uneasy guilt. He could remember some of the things 'they did' to people. Guilty people, bad people. The torture, the screams, the blood… He fell back a step, and then another, one hand rising to press against his forehead as it began to throb with pain. "No…" He whispered, throat dry. He didn't want to be responsible for the things he was remembering!
Oh yes, yes it's true. You weren't strong enough Daniel. Your mind was too fragile, your heart not quiet desperate enough. You couldn't forgive your own cowardice. I tried to teach you the best that I could, I…
"You made me… a monster…" Daniel countered, shaking his head as his fingers gripped tightly at his bangs.
Made you a monster? Another sultry, mocking laugh. You're mistaken. I only awoke the beast already inside of you, Daniel… I used your fear to bring out the most basic of instincts. Survival. And I did keep you alive, didn't I?
"You made me…"
I made you do what, Daniel? I never wrapped your hand around the knife; I never guided it with my own.
"Shh!" Daniel scolded suddenly, pulling his hand away from his head and standing up straight. There was a scuffling frown down the hall, and Daniel strained his eyes to see past the yellow-orange light of the lamp. It was no use, the shadow might have well of been made of ink.
Avoiding the subject?
"I heard something."
It's just the servants Daniel. They never bothered you before. That tone was almost accusing, at the same time amused. Daniel felt his blood run cold, and his heart leapt into his throat. A servant… one of those monsters? He turned quickly, heading back down the hallway and into an empty cell. The hinges creaked agonizingly loud as he closed it behind him, dimming the lamp until it turned off. Placing his hand onto the stone wall, he guided himself into the corner of the small room. The only sound now was that of his own heavy breath. Even with his mouth covered, it came through his nose in gusts.
Now that's something I'm going to miss with you, dear Daniel.
"What?" Daniel whispered quietly, pulling his hand away.
Heavy breath in the dark.
At those words a strange feeling came over the Englishman. A flush of temperature completely opposite from the invasive chill of the cell room. He frowned deeply, raking his mind for what could possibly cause such a reaction.
Oh, so you don't remember? That's such a shame, Daniel. Those were some of my favorite times.
"What times?" Daniel asked, only to startle as he heard another shuffle of feet on the floor outside. He covered his mouth again, heart hammering painfully.
You always were in need of comfort, Daniel. Such needy man… That tone had become a touch lower now, causing a curious stir in Daniel's gut. I can honestly say that I was never sexually excited by the things I did before you came along. The way you held the knife, and the vigor with which you'd swing the whip…
Daniel was shaking his head, denying these things he could only remember brief snapshots of. This man was bad, he was a liar! A deceiver, a devil! That was why he had to kill him…!
You tempted me Daniel.
"No." Daniel growled.
Oh, yes. Your willingness and eagerness to obey my every word was addictive. I happen to remember you telling me once, although you were a little under the influence of your precious laudanum, that my voice was like a liquid aphrodisiac.
"Stop it!" He whispered harshly.
Do you know how long I have been here, Daniel? Alone, cold, and lost?
"You took advantage of my situation." Daniel gave a quiet whine.
Did I? I seem to remember things differently. Ah, but see, I remember. I remember taking you in at great personal risk. I remember teaching you how to keep the Shadow at bay. I remember sitting by your bedside to be there when you awoke, sweating and screaming. And I remember you begging me. Ah, I was weak to your charm.
The shuffling outside grew a bit louder, and Daniel felt himself start to sweat. He couldn't handle these accusations!
Begging me with your limpid eyes, and your blood-splattered smile.
"God no," Daniel shook his head, clutching at his hair.
You've done so well today, Daniel. That will keep the Shadow at bay for now. You've behaved so well lately, I think you deserve a little reward…
Daniel's chest felt light, and the strangely happy emotion that flooded him was confusing and frightening. Where had it come from? He could almost feel hands that were not his own running through his hair, caressing his cheek. But then that tone changed, became threatening.
That was a mistake Daniel. I told you not to become overconfident. These things take time. I can see I'm going to have to give you another lesson in patience.
"Sorry Alexander…!" He whispered before he could stop himself. A shock of fear, and an even more troubling excitement filled him now. He tried in vain to open his eyes, but even when he did all that he could see was blackness. There was nothing to focus on, nothing to chase away the visions invading his tortured mind.
Du warst ein böser Junge. But perhaps I can forgive you.
Daniel wanted to be forgiven! Anger quickly followed that thought, but a grunting sound from outside the cell door frightened him, snuffing out that brief flame. "The servants." He whispered.
What about them? A laugh, one Daniel knew he should hate but that he found himself wanting to follow in amusement. Do you remember—Oh who am I kidding, of course you don't. But imagine it Daniel, it was your idea! In my dungeons there was a man named Reginald Ferwitz. He was a vile creature, a rapist of young men and women.
There was the flash of a man's face in his mind, and Daniel tried to chase it out.
You got a bit carried away with that one, didn't you? You said he was looking at you, he was raping you with his eyes… You begged me to take you, right there on the alter next to him, to show him what he couldn't have.
Daniel could only manage fuzzy images of candle-lit and blood-splattered skin, long silver hair that brushed at his face like feathers. The gritty feel of the wood and stone beneath his skin, and a hot wet substance—was it sweat or blood or…? The weight of hands holding his arms down so tightly that there would be bruises. Daniel crossed his arms over his chest now, breath heavier. His fingers brushed at the places he was imagining—remembering being touched, and they were as sore as if the bruises still remained.
Do you remember how you grabbed the knife? How you stuck it into him, and how his screams brought us off? That voice had become so low, so breathy, and he could almost feel it tickling over his right ear. The things Alexander were saying felt so real! If they were lies then this was all some sort of sickening spell! But his body was reacting, and Daniel pulled his knees up to his chest as if he could hide that fact from prying eyes. You've grown quiet Daniel. Are you touching yourself?
"No!" Daniel snapped, only to cover his mouth in shock. There was a moment of silence, other than his panting breath in the cold room, and then a crash from down the hall. He gave a low whine.
Alright, alright. Perhaps you prefer a fonder memory? Let's see… Oh yes! You came to me in the middle of the night. Unlike you, I am rather fond of sleep, but you woke me. You were naked, already sweating, peeling the blankets right off of me. You said you had a nightmare, and the laudanum wasn't working. I do believe you'd taken a bit much…
Daniel could remember being tangled up in damp sheets, but was that from a nightmare or from what Alexander was describing? He could feel his clothing smothering him currently, and in the darkness of the room it was all too easy to picture them as blankets. His eyes should have adjusted to the lack of light by now at least enough to see the shape of his hands in front of his face, but it was no use. The chill of the room had all but vanished.
Do you remember my hands? You loved how calloused they were, you said it showed my life's work. How you'd shudder when I ran them down across your skin… You'd arch like a cat, and scratch like one too!
Daniel's right hand traveled down between his tightly pressed thighs, and he gasped as he found the unavoidable bulge in his pants there. Those words were like the touches of a ghost, tingling, not fully tangible.
You preferred to lie out on your stomach. Head down, and your delectably supple ass high in the air for me. You seemed to very much enjoy it when I gave it a good smacking before I continued…
Daniel shook his head currently, but even as he denied it he felt his body throbbing in response. Unable to stand it any longer, he began to open his pants.
What did you like about it, Daniel? Was it the pain, the helplessness, or the humiliation? You knew a real punishment from me would hurt much more, but you liked to pretend… Ah, perhaps it was a bit of atonement for letting yourself be taken by a man? Did you pretend you had no choice so that you could lay all the blame on me?
"No…!" Daniel wasn't sure what he was protesting this time, breath shuddering and voice wavering. He had his hand wrapped firmly around his exposed erection by now, and he was stroking it swiftly.
You said that too sometimes, while grasping those sheets or holding on to the headboard so tightly that your knuckles were white, while I slammed into you again and again. I had to hold your thin hips tight so you wouldn't slip, bruising your soft skin, but you'd accept nothing less. Du bist eine Schlampe, Daniel. Have you forgotten?
Why did those words sound so familiar? For a few moments he couldn't even recall what they meant, and all he knew was that he felt his heart racing at the sound of them. Like a dog who's master had finally come home, and he'd just heard his name called… It hit him suddenly what those words meant. "Oh God," He groaned as shame smothered him, and yet he felt his climax growing close.
Not God's, Daniel. You are mine now. Let me hear you say my name again; I want to hear that shameless voice of yours.
"Ale…Alexander!" Daniel cried out, his body wracked with a powerful shudder as he came. The laughter that echoed throughout his head was mocking, though pleased.
That's right Daniel… Du bist meine Schlampe.
"I will… kill you…" Daniel nearly sobbed, wiping the hot wet mess on his hand off on the dirty stone wall, as quickly as he could.
Oh, Daniel… That voice was oh so disappointed. I wish I could let you tempt me even more, but you see I really must go home. I already have a love, you know this. She just wouldn't understand about you. There was a crash at the door of the cell, and Daniel cried out in shock. Looks as if you've alerted the servants with your noise. They're really quite fond of you Daniel. Another crash, and Daniel had already scrambled up to fix his pants and huddle in the corner. If you're very still and quiet, he won't find you. That's the last bit of help you'll get from me, dear boy.