A/N: It's been a while since I've read the manga, but I faintly remember Misaki telling his parents to bring back lots of presents in the moments before they left their house for the last time. I was under the impression that they had passed away on his birthday. If I am mistaken, please forgive me. The idea of Misaki losing his parents is bad enough without it marring what should be his special day. Sorry for the string of darker fics; winter makes me depressed. That's nothing a good long lemon can't fix though…
Chapter One: Birthday Nightmare
Misaki is eight years old; Takahiro is eighteen years old. It is Misaki's birthday.
Knock knock knock!
I glanced up from the cake that I had been staring at for the past half hour. Nii-chan had finally caved and let me see it. Now we were only waiting on kaa-san and tou-san to come home with my birthday presents. I was smugly certain that they would be home soon, but not this soon.
Nii-chan didn't say a word; he just gave me a knowing grin and then opened the door to let in…a police officer?
"Oh! Good evening, officer!" Nii-chan bowed as a clearly uncomfortable cop wrung his cap in his hands.
"Um, hello…is this the residence of Takahashi Takahiro?" the cop stuttered. "Hey, I live here too! Misaki lives here too!" I reprimanded the man for his ignorance. "Ah, yes, Misaki too." the man looked at me sadly and then his eyes widened as he saw what was on the table in front of me. "Is it your birthday there, son?" I nodded enthusiastically and my smile faltered as I saw the man scowl at the floor. "Right…Takahiro-kun, may I speak with you alone for a moment?" My brother blinked in surprise. "Uh…sure, but my parents should be here any minute sir." Nii-chan sputtered as the police officer put a hand on his shoulder and steered him towards the living room. "You see, that's the thing…"
Present Day: It is Misaki's 22nd birthday.
Knock knock knock!
I glance up from the cake that I have been staring at for the past half hour. Nii-chan and nee-chan had finally caved and let me see it. Now we were only waiting on Usagi-san to come home to celebrate my birthday. I was smugly certain that he would be home soon, but not this soon.
Nii-chan doesn't say a word; he just gives me a knowing grin and then opens the door to let in…Usagi chi-chi?
"Oh! Good evening, Usami-sama!" Nii-chan bows as a clearly infuriated Usagi chi-chi clenches and unclenches his fists.
"Greetings. This is the residence of Takahashi Takahiro and Misaki?" the man asks coldly. "Hey, nee-chan lives here too!" I joke half-heartedly. "Right, nee-chan too." the man looks at me coldly and then his eyes narrow as he sees what Is on the table in front of me. "Is it your birthday there, Takahashi-kun?" I nod hesitantly and my frown deepens as I see the man scowl at me. "Yes, well. Takahiro-kun, may I speak with you alone for a moment?" My pulse quickens. This has happened before, fourteen years ago…last time it was kaa-san and tou-san…so this time it's…
I bolt upright in bed, screaming at the top of my lungs. For the first time in a long while, I'm wishing desperately that I had just gone to bed with Usagi-san, despite the fact I know it would inevitably lead to the stupid rabbit having his dirty way with me. As I continue to sob Usagi-san's name, I can hear said rabbit scurrying down the hall.
My eyes are too full of tears to see my beloved rabbit, but I can feel his weight as he sits down next to me. He puts his big hand on my head and gently ruffles my hair. I want him to throw his arms around me, to hold me to his chest, just so I know he's really there.
"Misaki? What's wrong?" he asks, his voice saturated in concern and worry.
"Usagi-san! Usagi-san!" I sob, throwing my arms around him, burying my face into his chest.
"Misaki? Misaki! Hey!" Usagi-san is trying to pull back so he can look at my face but it sends me into even deeper panic.
"Usagi-san! Don't! Don't go! Please, Usagi-san! I c-c-c-can't take it! Please, Usagi-san! Stay! Please, just stay!" I feel bad for letting Usagi-san see me this way, for letting him see my anxious aura, for subjecting him to my worries in addition to causing him trouble. But for the life of me, I can't stop crying.
Usagi-san becomes silent as he merely holds me, rocking me back and forth as I keep crying. After a few minutes, I began to hiccup into an exhausted calm. Finally, Usagi-san puts his hands on my shoulders and looks me in the eye.
"Misaki. What's wrong? Tell me, please. I'm agonizing over how to help you, but I don't know how…" Usagi-san breaks off with a choked voice. I blink away some of my tears and see that his eyes are swimming in pools of saltwater.
I feel so ashamed.
I start sobbing again, knowing that it's my fault that the man I've only known to cry once is about to cry again, but this time it's my fault.
My eyes open wide in shock as I feel a set of warm lips connect with mine. I feel even more shocked at my response. My arms travel from around Usagi-san's torso to around his neck and I clutch him closer to me. I can hear his surprised grunt as he adjusts himself to be within easier reach of my clinging arms. But it doesn't stop there. My mouth is suddenly crushing against his, which opens in surprise.
I dart my tongue in and try to suck my rabbit into my own mouth. I need to feel him, to know that he's really here and not a dream. Usagi-san responds enthusiastically for a moment but then pulls away, me still sucking on his lower lip until it stretches and I have to release it.
"No…Usakihiko…" I mumble as my rabbit's eyes search my face. He freezes as he hears me accidentally combine his two names.
"Misaki…what is it? I want to do whatever I can to help you, but I can't do that if I don't know what's wrong! Please, tell me! It feels like you don't want to trust me and that hurts, Misaki, it hurts!"
As my rabbit lifts up my chin, my hands fall in my lap. I feel the badly timed bulge there, but I'm still so unsure of whether or not this is a dream and I'm too scared out of my mind to do anything about it.
He continues to scrutinize my face as I shyly lift my gaze to meet his. His indigo eyes are filled with conflicting emotions that I suddenly just seem to know as I gaze into the depths of them: worry, exhaustion, fear, irritation, and shame hand in hand with arousal from our unexpectedly eager lip lock.
Letting my eyes fall to his tearstained chest, I gently take one of Usagi-san's hands and place it on my cheek, so I know that he's still there. He leans forward and kisses my forehead.
"What is it Misaki? What is it that you need? If you have to take your time then do so, but this is killing me, Misaki!" Usagi-san puts a bit of pressure onto where his hand as if to say I really am here; I'm not going anywhere. I love you.
I take his other hand and bring it to my trembling lips. I can feel him give a small start at the gesture and his sharp intake of breath does not escape my ears. Then I gently guide his hand to the tent in my pajama bottoms. I hear him let out a sigh that sounds half-relieved and half-exasperated.
"Misaki, if you wanted to celebrate your birthday early, you could've just said so" Usagi-san jokes half-heartedly.
I freeze, holding my breath. I cannot believe he just went there. No, I can, but it's just really the wrong time for such teasing, and I tell him so with a teary-eyed glare and a strangled hiccup. His weak smile fades into a frown once more.
"Then what is it?" he pulls back so that he's not touching me at all, and even as I reach out to snag his sleeve, he dodges my touch so that there is no contact. I bring my knees to my chest and bury my face in my arms.
"I…had a nightmare…"
"Yeah? That much I gathered. What about?" Usagi-san grunts in response. I can hear him fishing around in his breastpocket for a cigarette.
"It was my birthday…well, there were two parts to the dream. The first was my eighth birthday…" I trail off as I hear Usagi-san's weight shift on the bed to where he's laying down next to me. He extricates one of my hands from under my head and simply holds my hand before clearing his throat and saying "Go on."
Somehow, I'm glad he doesn't make a comment on my tragic eighth birthday. It makes it easier for me to do as he says and go on. "Well, the first part of the dream was just a rerun of when the police officer came in and talked to Nii-chan…"
I let a single sob escape and Usagi-san strokes the back of my hand with his thumb. He waits as I compose myself once more.
"Then the dream changed…it was almost exactly like that day, but I was older, and Nii-chan had Nee-chan with him, and we were waiting for Usagi-san instead of tou-san and kaa-san…and instead of the police, it was Usagi chi-chi, and he was angry and he kept glaring at me…and Usagi-san never came home…" my voice breaks on this last sentence and I simply let the tears fall as I sniffle stubbornly, trying to will away the onset of more tears. "Usagi-san…I was so scared that…that…"
"Shh, it's okay Misaki. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere". Usagi uses the hand he's holding to reel me in for a hug.
I bury my face into his neck and inhale. My nose is filled with Usagi-san's scent: his shampoo, the bite of his cologne and the ever-lingering fug of cigarettes. I doubt that the smell of cigarettes would ever leave the man, even if he quit smoking and bathed twice a day every day for the rest of his life. Right now though, because it is such a vital part of who he is, I find the scent overwhelmingly familiar and I clutch him closer to me.
"Usagi-san…please…" I breathe against his neck; I can't believe what I'm about to ask him.
Usagi pulls away again to look at my face. I'm not sure how, but I'm able to look right back into his concern-filled eyes.
"Usagi-san…please…make…make…" my breathing catches as his eyes widen in realization as to what I'm trying to say. No, not quite I think as I see him swallow and blink. He thinks that's what I'm trying to say, but he's afraid of being presumptuous.
"Make what Misaki? Make what?" Usagi-san murmurs, stroking my cheek. Ordinarily, he'd just love to use this as ammo to drive me crazy and make me ask for it, but right now I can see that he's honestly trying to be careful with me.
I take a deep breath and scrunch my eyes shut.
"Usagi-san, please make love with me!" I say half-sobbing as I clutch his upper arm. "I need to know that you're there, I need to know that you'll still hold me, I need to know that you're real right now! Please…make mmph!"
My hysterics are cut off by Usagi-san's lips tenderly but firmly being pressed against my own. My eyes open wide for a moment, but then close as I start to try and kiss him back.
My stupid rabbit, my perverted writer, my weirdo land-lord. He is mine, and though I would never tell him this, I never want to give him up.
His tongue prods at my mouth, again gently, but firmly. For once, I do nothing to stop him; I give in immediately and let him in, trying not to think, but to feel that he's there, to confirm with my own tongue that he's inside of my mouth, excitedly traveling over what he's mapped out hundreds of times before. And for once, I just let him. Not only do I submit; I clutch him closer, I suck him in, and when it's time to breathe, it's Usagi-san who's gasping for air.
He pulls back just a bit, to where our foreheads are touching as we refill our lungs with oxygen. Usagi-san looks at me with frank wonder as I begin to literally shiver with need.
"Misaki…are you sure? It's not the first time you've tried seducing me, but are you emotionally okay enough to do this right now?" I drop my eyes and stare hard at the twitching bulge in my pajama bottoms.
"Usagi-san…I know I'm usually kicking up a fuss, but…I really do need this right now." I lift my eyes back up to his troubled gaze. He again strokes my cheek, and then kisses my forehead before wrapping one arm around me and lowering one hand down to my crotch. I feel a pleasured jolt as he gently runs his hand up and down my arousal. I unintentionally let out a keening sound and for the first time in a long time, I do not feel embarrassed about it. In fact, that lovely friction feels so good, that I let out another unintelligible moan. Usagi-san tries not to smile as I writhe in his strong arms.
"Usagi-san…" I breathe as the stroking turns into a circular motion. "Yes, Misaki?" My rabbit asks politely.
The motions become slower but firmer. I can hardly think let alone breathe; the cloth of my pajama bottoms rubbing against my bare cock is so excruciatingly delicious (I hardly bother with underwear anymore; what's the point?) that all I can do is stutter a moan as the cloth is pressed into my skin.
Despite how good it feels, I want to feel his skin against mine.
I start to wiggle, just enough to where Usagi-san takes a confused pause. Without meeting his gaze, I start unbuttoning my shirt with shaky but determined hands. I can hear him let out a relieved breath as he starts unbuttoning his own shirt. He finishes before I do.
Usagi-san gently stops my shaking hands from fumbling with another button. He kisses my forehead before placing my arms around his neck. I let my hands hang loosely over his back as he starts unbuttoning my shirt himself.
A gasp escapes through my swollen lips as he starts kissing up my quivering stomach; his lips never leave my skin as he quickly unbuttons the rest of my shirt. He pushes the cloth away from my shoulders with his lips still traveling up my chest. The shirt pools around my lower back and I quickly remove myself from the sleeves.
Usagi-san's warm tongue begins circling my right nipple; his cool hand merely traces my left. It's enough to make me arch further into his touch. His other hand gently runs up and down my heaving side. This is different from how he normally does it; usually, he kisses me into panting submission, works his way down and teases my chest, continues further south, and then proceeds to overwhelm me with amazing attention down there.
But not tonight.
He keeps focusing on my chest. "Usagi-san…" I gasp when he switches sides.
"Mm? What is it Misaki?" I can feel his mouth smile against my heaving chest.
"Why…?" my question is cut off by my own strangled intake of breath as he blows on my now erect nipple.
He then lays his heavy head against my upper body. "Misaki's heart keeps beating faster" Usagi-san growls playfully. Only the real Usagi-san would say such a thing at a time like this I think as I raise my head to glare at him, not that he can really see my face.
"Usagi-san." He can hear the flat tone of my voice as he raises his head to gaze at my blushing visage. "I'm not in the mood for any games, dammit. Please, can you just get inside me already? I really need this right now."
Usagi-san blinks in shock and then grins crazily. "Of course Misaki."
Before I can blink myself, I feel my pants being tugged down far enough to let my head loose. While the head on my shoulders might be a little mixed up, the head between my legs is very sure of what it wants right now. And what it wants is now looking down at me solemnly.
"Misaki…do you want me to…?" Usagi-san breaks off as I shake my head from side to side.
"No, not now. Just…please…get inside."
I can't even look at him as he leans over me to reach into the nightstand drawer. He pauses halfway there, remembering this is my room and not his. I can feel heat flood my face as I nudge him with my knee. "There's some there" I mumble when he looks back down at me. I jerk my head towards the nightstand.
His eyes widen and he nods silently. I don't think I could take it if he started teasing me right now. I take a moment to process that I've completely given myself over to this man as I watch him extract the bottle of lube from its hiding place.
"May I ask why you of all people would have this of all things in your room of all places?" His tone is serious but his eyes are dancing in merriment as he fills his palm with a generous amount.
"I never know when Usagi-san will pounce, and it's good to be 'prepared' for that" I mumble defensively.
Usagi-san chuckles at the look on my face when he starts tracing my entrance with a lube slicked finger.
I'm not sure what I need more, for him to keep touching me or for him to be inside me. As if reading my mind, Usagi-san slips a finger inside with one hand and gently rubs my lower back with the other. And, if the way he was touching me wasn't enough, he adds his tongue to the mix, following a pulsing vein up my shaft before somehow burrowing into the skin right beneath the head.
My entire vocabulary consists of "Usagi-san" and an array of gasps and moans. How in the hell does he do it?
His left hand starts giving my sac a one handed massage and his tongue is now wrapping up and around the head of my member. When he flicks the slit of it with his tongue, my back arches and he moves with me, so as not to remove the two fingers inside of me (he got another one in there somewhere along the way, but I'm kind of distracted at the moment).
Gently he puts his cool hand on my stomach and presses me back down just enough to where he can work on stretching me. "Easy now…one more, okay?"
Panting, I nod for him to continue. I chew on my lower lip and a half-choked moan escapes my throat when I feel him stretching me impossibly further. He allows me to adjust, but judging from the pulse I can feel pounding through his hand, he won't be able to restrain himself much longer.
"Dammit, what am I doing?" he murmurs to himself. He pulls his fingers out and starts to pull away from the bed. With grim determination I snag his own pajama bottoms. I try not to blush when I realize he's not wearing underwear either. Again I think: what's the point?
Usagi-san grasps my wrists and gently pins my hands to my sides. "I'm sorry to leave you in this state" Usagi-san drawls, nodding at my erection appreciatively. "But I really don't think that this is a good idea." I stare at my rabbit as I try not to let tears flood my eyes again.
"But Usagi-san…" I start to whimper before he gives me a chaste kiss on the mouth. "Misaki. I will hold you, I will kiss you, I will make love with you when you are in control of your emotions. Right now I don't think is the time for this."
Stubbornly, I keep tugging on his pants until his own head is exposed, clearly in opposition of what Usagi-san just said. He tries to pull back, but when I wrap my hand around the incredibly hard shaft, he thinks better of it and tries not to groan at my touch. Gently, I tug upwards and towards myself; not enough for it to hurt, but enough to make Usagi-san stumble closer to avoid having me stretch his cock (as if the damn thing could get any bigger). As soon as he's within reach, I release his cock and grab hold of his shoulders. I don't know how I do it, but I pin him to the mattress under us.
Surprised with myself, I look up quickly when I hear Usagi-san chuckle. My face heats up as I realize that he didn't mean it at all; he just wants to know how serious I am right now. "Baka Usagi" I murmur before snuggling under his chin.
For a moment, he lets me just lay there on his chest, feeling more and more relieved as his chest swells and deflates under me. I inhale his scent once more, committing it to memory. Then, without moving me from where I'm at, Usagi-san resumes tracing my entrance with a slick finger. Gently, he inserts two fingers this time, pumping ever so slowly.
"Usagi-san…" I groan into his shoulder. "Mm? What is it, Misaki?" Usagi-san is getting uncomfortable; I can feel his cock drool on my hip. "No more…just…I'm ready."
A/N: I keep getting depressed and I know it keeps getting reflected in my fics, but they will eventually end happily, sort of. Maybe a few melancholic themes along the way though. Anyways, I'm going to be a bit of a jerk about this one and say 10 reviews for continuation.