Author's Note: You guys may hate me for this ending. But I'm sorry, it was my muse. And what my muse wants. My muse gets. :(
My memory began to finish itself. Mark gave me a warning look, pleading me not to find out the truth. But I had to know. I just had to.
The struggle had broken out and somehow in the middle of it, I'd managed to get the gun. Emma had backed off and held her hands out fearfully.
"Emma, I don't want to hurt you." My terrified voice surprisingly sounded firm and stern. I knew it was shaking though, but no one could tell. I didn't want to harm my friend. When had she gotten like this? So obsessed?
She froze and then reached into her pocket and pulled out her switch blade. A sharp knife I've seen her with many times. She constantly had it on herself for protection.
"Please," I begged her. She didn't listen but ran at me, the knife ready to strike. I squeezed my eyes shut.
The gun went off. She fell to the floor. Instantly, I felt remorse, regret and guilt. I was just defending myself and there she lay, on the floor... But there was no blood and why did I feel the pain in my head?
Emma was gone and I was watching from a third person perspective on my memories. That's when it hit me. Emma didn't exist. It all came crashing down, not being gentle about my feelings.
I was pointing the gun at myself with the knife in my hand. I was the one yelling at myself and arguing with myself. I was crazy. I wanted to throw up. I couldn't be crazy... But there it happened. I was yelling at her, to not make me do this. And bang... the gun went off and I fell to the floor. Not Emma. Because Emma wasn't real.
That's when one of the most painful memories came back.
"JJ please don't do this." Elle backed away against the wall. Oh Elle. She used to be a member of the team...
"You've stolen JJ from me." My voice sounded raspy. Higher even. It was the voice I recognized as Emma's but it came from my mouth. It was so terrifying to see.
The struggle broke out and eventually... I couldn't watch. I heard her cries of pain as the knife went right into her stomach. I cried. What had I done?
No wonder no one ever spoke to Emma at my funeral. No wonder Emily didn't question why Emma was there when they had their get together. It was something she would have done. It was no wonder Will never believed me when I claimed to go out at night with my friend Emma. It was why he thought I was cheating on him, leading him to do the same.
I had murdered Elle. I had killed myself. I was crazy.
Mark had told me the same person that had killed Elle had killed me. He was right. I cried. This time real tears came.
"I warned you," Mark spoke, his voice full of sympathy and pain.
"No one can answer that. No one can know that."
My head turned back to the first time I met Emma. I'd been at the park, thinking. When she came up to me, saying she had gone to another school near by. We had been friends instantly. We liked the same bands, movies and jokes. I'd spent a lifetime, being so close to her. She was never real.
It explained why she would never come over. I walked outside her house. It was abandoned. No one had lived there for years. I couldn't breathe. This wasn't happening. Then I understood. Emma had appeared a couple weeks after my sister's suicide. My sister's name was Emma. I'd in a way brought my sister back so I could deal with my grief.
"Are you ready to go yet, JJ?" Mark asked, his eyes on his watch.
"I killed myself. I murdered someone. Why am I not trapped?" I asked in between sobs. "Why am I not trapped like you were?
He shrugged. "Insane people generally get let off." He was treating this... as... as a joke!
"Shut up! This isn't time for your jokes!" I was losing it. I fell to my knees as I sobbed. This wasn't real. Any minute now, any minute and I'd wake up in my soft bed, with Will beside me. Henry in the next room.
The most shocking thing happened. He came over to me, crouched down and hugged me. "You're right, I'm sorry," he whispered softly.
"I'm not crazy, I can't be crazy."
"JJ it's time to go."
The only thing I could do was cry. It hurt so badly, I couldn't comprehend it. It couldn't be... real.
"We're leaving together," he said it so softly, I barely caught it. I woundn't be alone, that was something. But I was so broken and in pieces right now. I couldn't even look at him. The tears streamed down my face, my soul shattered. And I let go. Leaving my heart in pieces on the floor.
Author's note: So that's it. Do you hate me? Making JJ crazy? *sigh* My muse liked the idea. It's a bit twisty.
I'm considering a sequel, and possibly an epilogue or even writing the fic through Mark's point of view with extra scenes to learn more. I don't know. Despite the story being over, my muse isn't done. His name is Sam, (my muse) and he wants me to write more based on this fic. XD