An Angel in Despair
This story picks up from "Angel's In Chains" where Sam and Bosley are saying goodbye and everyone is getting on the boat. This will be darker than the series. We didn't see what happened between Jonathon Cartwright taking off his jacket and tie off ready to torture Eve.
"Get outta my country," Sam said, smiling. Gladly, I thought, turning toward the boat, eager to get the girls and my Angel's off this island.
Sam grabbed my arm and pulled me back, kissing me before I knew what was going on. Unexpected let me tell ya!
I was shocked that Sam kissed me, despite the chemistry between us, I didn't see her in that way anymore. My offer to make her a "mean" mojito was a purely for-old-times-sake offer.
Strangely my first reaction was to look toward the boat, to see if anyone had noticed the kiss. Everyone was already on board, Eve was about to get on. No one had seen.
I give Sam and small goodbye smile. Having seen the boat ready to go spurred me to start jog towards it. Lets get out of here!
As I get closer I realise Eve is still hanging back at the water's edge. I slow down next to her. "You okay?" I ask in all seriousness. She must have been scared to death and hadn't thought we were coming for her. I would never not come for her.
She doesn't look at me, just stares at the boat. "Just... digging deep I guess. I gotta get through a boat ride with that man." She turns towards me, looking down at her hands, twisting them together in front of her, "take my hand Bos."
She sighs, "I've just told Tess how strong she is, got her to get on that boat," she looks up at me, a fear in her eyes, "now I need you to talk me into getting onto it."
I take her hands in mine, frowning at her, "I don't need to tell you how strong you are, Eve, or that you should get on that boat. Everything you have done today shows how strong you are. And you are gonna get on that boat and bring that man to justice. And if you can't think of doing it for yourself, then you will for all those girls."
She breaks my gaze, looking back down to our hands, "just don't let go of my hand ok? I need you right now."
She half breaks away from me as she moves to the boat, but keeps one of each of our hands entwined. I follow, not allowing myself to think any further right now. I can see she is afraid of this man. I dread to think how he tortured her for information. Bastard.
After that hour long god awful boat ride, where Abby and Kate tired to laugh and joke with the girls, I feel even worse.
They succeeded in cheering Tess and the others up, I guess being taken back to freedom played a huge part too, everyone was smiling as we got onto Charlie's yacht in international waters, and I'm glad for that, they all had a far worse time than me I'm sure. I'm glad they can smile.
Bosley was straight on the phone to Charlie who had been speaking with the CIA, organising Jonathan Cartwright being taken into police cusody as soon as we reach the Miami shore probably by this evening.
I was smiling too. It wasn't real.
I was glad to be off that island. Glad to be off that boat. Glad to be able to walk into another room and be on my own for the first time since my rescue. I locked myself in the en suite bathroom of the master bedroom on the yacht.
I was glad to be able to let the mask slip.
Immediately bile rose in my throat, and I just made it to the toilet before being sick. I sat on the floor next to the toilet, afraid to move too far from it in case the urge to throw up struck again.
I shut my eyes and took in a deep breath. I'm not sure how to handle this at all.
A knock at the door jolted me to standing too quickly and with my shakly legs I almost fell straight back down, I clutched onto the sink.
"Eve, you in there?" Bosley. He sounded concerned.
I wanted to be close to him, have his arms around me, protect me... and at the same time, have him nowhere near me.
"Yeah," I called back, shakily, I caught sight of my face in the mirror, "just thought I'd wash off some of this blood."
"OK, good, I have some spare clothes here for you. Open up," it wasn't a question.
Suddenly, I was angry. I felt heat rise inside me and whilst a second ago, I wasn't opening the door for anyone, I now moved forward and flung it open.
Bosley was stood there, looking worried, with a few items in this hands, I grabbed them from him roughly, flinging them behind me, "thanks, Bos," I said, however it didn't come out like a thank you at all.
I aimed to slam the door, relieve some of my sudden anger by doing so.
Bosley recovered quite quick from the shock of my anger, and got his foot in the door before I could slam it. He didn't seem to know what to say for a second, "Eve, ... I ... I'm just trying to help..."
I let go of the door, stopped trying to push it closed, and sighed pulled my anger into check, looking to the floor, "I know, I am thankful for the clothes, Bos. It didn't come out right before."
"And the attempt to slam the door in my face?" He looked sad about that.
"Yeah, sorry, I've just got some pent up anger, I don't mean it to be directed at you," I look back and give him a small smile.
His brow tightens into a frown, and he looks at me, just stares into my eyes for a minute, I feel naked all of a sudden and look away.
Bosley steps towards me and reaches to embrace me, "I'm worried about you, you had quite an ordeal today and -" he stops, shocked as I've step backwards, away from him.
I am shocked myself, I am frightened of his touch. He stares at me again, deep inside my eyes.
Then he looks to the ground and swears, "fuck," and burries his face in his hands for a second. He keeps his hands up by his face, palm to plam like a prayer, I am stunned to see tears in his eyes, "he's hurt you hasn't he," he states, and swallows almost painfully as he meets my eyes again, "he's hurt you like I didn't want you to be hurt - like I didn't want to believe earlier - but he has." He shook his head, made a step towards me again, then thought better of it and stopped, "Eve... I'm so sorry."
I'm angry again. But I know why, I did this to myself. I am angry at myself. That old man did this to me! An old man! I should have done more to stop him, I should have tried harder... and now Bosley feels sorry for me!
"Just leave me alone, Bos," I nod towards the door, "get out." I sound like I don't want to sound again; it's all coming out on Bosley. Yes he feels sorry for me, I don't want him - or anyone to feel sorry for me. But it's not his fault.
Bosley backs away towards the door.
"Bos," I say, softer this time,"I... I'm angry at myself," suddenly I realise I am crying, I don't know how long I have been doing so, "I just need -" I stop and shake my head, "I don't know what I need..." I back towards the toilet, swiflty put the lid now and sit on it.
Bosley shuts the door. He comes forward then, cautiously, like he's going to frighten me into running a mile... I realise that that's quite true.
He stops close to me, but not touching me and bends down, so he is crouching in front of me.
He offers me his hand, like earlier. I remember I wanted to hold his hand earlier.
I needed to hold his hand earlier.
I am still angry at myself, I still want to throw up. But right now, I take Bosley's hand.
We sit like this for a while. I only look at our hands, I can't look at him in the eyes right now.
Eventually there is a voice at the door that intrupts us, "Eve?" It's Abby.
"Yeah, she's in here," Bosley answers for me, "we're just getting her cuts cleaned up," I can feel the heat of his gaze on my face then, checking out my visible injures.
"Cool. Heads-up, I reckon we'll be back in Miami in fourty-five," her voice gets quieter and quieter and I can hear her footsteps as she walks away.
"I thought she said it would take a few hours?" I ask, still not looking at him.
"It has," he moved his arm to see his watch better, "you were down here for a while on your own, and then I've been with you for half an hour at least."
Suddenly I am back in reality. I drop his hand and we both stand up. I never knew so much time could pass and feel like only minutes had. I need to get back to normal, to being me.
"I need to shower and get changed," I say, moving away from him and picking the clothes he brought me earlier off the floor.
He moves towards the door, opens it to step out, "I'll be right outside if you need me," I sense he doens't want to go far.
"No," I say strongly, "you need to go check on the other girls. And him," I want Bosley to make sure he is still tied up. That there is no chance of him coming in here while I pick the pieces of myself back together.
Although I'm not looking directly into his gaze, I know Bos is looking at me and shaking his head, "no, I can't go anywhere near him right now. I'll kill him." He walks out and shuts the door behind him.
I am devestated.
How is it that the moment I realise that I am desperatly in love with someone, it is the same moment I realise I am too late to save them from something so damaging.
It has taken Eve to get hurt, seriously hurt, for me to realise I can't function without her.
I start to make my way down the boats corridor, to go up the top. Abby is making her way down the stairs from the middle deck, "Hey Bos -"
"- Is Kate guarding Cartwright?" I interput. I can barely say that man's name.
"Yeah, she is still watching him up on the very top deck," she motions to the higher part. Seeing my face, she frowns, "what's wrong?" It's probably written all over my face.
"It's Eve," I say cautiously, I don't know how much Eve will want them to know, "she's gonna need some time off after this," I backtrack, "she's a bit shaken up."
Abby nods, "that's understandable." She leans in closer, "I watched her earlier, on the boat here, she was putting on a brave face but..." the concern shows all over her face, "I was really worried, I'm glad you went down to comfort her."
"Err... Hi," Abby and I look to the stairs coming down from the middle deck. Tess is making her way down. "Has Eve reappeared yet?" She asks looking worried.
"No, she's getting changed, putting on her make-up too, I suppose, ready to greet any handsome cops that meet us when we get to Miami," Abby says with a smile. I cringe at her attempt to make light of Eve's situation.
"I want to give her my number, or take hers. I'd like to meet up in the future, buy her dinner or something - all of you really, I owe you all." Tess smiles at us nervously.
How can anyone be thinking about taking us out for dinner right now, I think incredulously. Although I know Tess does not know the extent of Eve's torture. No one does. Do I? I wonder, she hasn't said anything explicitly to me, I have just assumed by her actions and what she has said. How she didn't correct me, I had made it obvious to what I assumed happened, hadn't I?
"Look, I'm not sure Eve's going to coming up, she's recovering from her torture," I say flatly, "and when we do reach the shore, she is probably going to want to go straight home." I instantly regret being so harsh to Tess, she has had an ordeal too.
I look at Abby, she'll be able to be more sensitive than me, she doesn't know what has truly happened to Eve. "Abs, take Tess back upstairs would you? Talk to the girls, prepare them for the kind of things the police are going to be asking."
Abby nods, as Tess turns and makes her way back up to the middle deck. But says, "you're freaking me out, is Eve really in such a state?"
I don't answer, I take my phone out of my pocket, "I'm gonna check in with Charlie," I hit his name on my phone before I meet her gaze, "we'll talk later, back at the agency."
"Ok," she agrees, and turns to follow Tess back up the stairs.
As I wait for Charlie to answer, I slip into the other bedroom, so no one can over hear my call.
"Bosley, I take it your nearing Miami, the police are already waiting there for Cartwright," Charlie says on answer.
"Yes we are... Charlie, I need a favour," I ask, my voice is not as confident as usual. Almost shaky.
"What is it John? Is something wrong?"
"I need a car ready for me and Eve when we dock. I need to get her away, she isn't going to want to talk to the CIA, she isn't going to be able to handle that right now." I want to whisk her away and keep her safe.
"Abby told me she was tortured. Is she doing OK?" Charlie sounded concerned.
"No," I say, bluntly, "Charlie, look she hasn't exactly said so, but from what she has said, and how she has reacted, I think.." I took a deep breath, "I think Cartwright's form of torture was to rape her," Charlie was silent, "we know it's what he has done to some of the other girls, although I believe they were forced to comply and at least seem willing," I clench my fist, "but for Eve, he's done it as pure torture, I can't bare to think how relentless he would have been toward her..."
Charlie speaks before I can say anymore, "I'll arrange a car to pick the two of you up. If that is what you think she needs, I trust your judgement. However, should it be Abby or Kate that absconds from CIA questioning with her? She may feel more comfortable with a female."
I shake my head, "I'm afraid the other Angel's don't know, I'm not sure she wants them to know," I realise I am honoured it was my hand she wanted to hold on the boat.
"A car will be waiting for you, John," Charlie confirms before ending the call.
There is a knock at the door.
I have been trying to build up the courage to leave the bathroom in what seems like forever. I have showered, a long hot shower, until the water ran cold. Cleaned my cuts and got dressed. My hair that was once ringing wet, has almost dried into its soft waves.
The knock means it's time to go, and I realsie it's now or never. I open the door a second after the knock, if I didn't, I never would have opened it.
Bos stands outside. He looks at me... nervously... and holds out his hand without a word.
I take his hand, and let him lead me down the yacht's corridor. He speaks quitely as we walk, "there's a car outside, it's waiting. It'll take us wherever you want."
I frown, "but the CIA will want - "
"- they can wait. Charlie has talked to them. Said you and I would be leaving straight away. They have got the agency's details to contact us for our statements later," he sounded so relieved, we start the stairs to the deck, "they are going to have a lot of statements to take anyway, and interogate Cartwright."
I slow down, I can't believe he has said that man's name.
He realsies what he has done, he stops as we near the top of the stairs, turns back to me, "sorry, I wont mention his name again."
"Bosley?" I ask nervously, "have you told Abby and Kate -"
"And what would I tell them, Eve? You haven't actually told me anything." He shifts back one foot to one step below, bringing us eye to eye.
I feel tears appear in my eyes, "you know, Bos. Without me saying it, you know."
He nods, "I just," his face looks pained, "I just don't want it to be true."
I am shaking now, but I'll say it, if he want's me to say it, I'll say it. "I'll say it once and once only. Then in a few days, I'll have pulled myself back together, and we wont ever mention it again OK?"
Bosley was shaking his head, "you don't know how you are going to feel in a few days Eve -"
"You think I might feel worse than this?" I half laugh, then turn serious with a shake of my head, "no, I'm gonna need a few days, I know that much, but this is the worst I'm going to feel." I'm openly crying now, I can feel the tears rolling down my cheeks, "I need to go home, have a soak in the bath, put by pjamas on, snuggle on the sofa... and hold your hand." He squeezes the hand he's holding. "He raped me Bosley." I say it straight out, I don't know how, "an old man that I could have stopped," I'm so cross with myself! "I need more combat fighting obviously."
Bos shook his head, "your hand-to-hand combat is excellent, you don't need -"
"- but I didn't stop him did I?" I almost shout.
Bosley looks to our hands, "you were tied up?" I nod, "and you were frozen by fear. There's nothing wrong with that -"
"There's nothing wrong with the fact some guy raped me and I have the skills to stop it, but didn't use them! Ha! I hate myself right now!" I wrench my hand out of his and march up the rest of the stairs on my own.
It was comforting to know he followed right behind me.