Dear Arthur,

When one dude needs to stop hanging out with another dude and be on their own, they should at least tell the other dude why they're leaving.

I think all men are equals and have rights (Life, Liberty, and the pursuit of Happiness) I've told the 13 that if they ever think my government is corrupt they should feel free to make a new one, and they have. That doesn't mean I let them change everything, but they have a right to a fair government who takes care of them; your King doesn't do that. The 13 have been pretty good about all his shit, but this is important because your leader is totally, like, oppressing them!

Your King is kind of a douche, Arty! A Prince, who is a Tyrant, is unfit to be the Ruler of a free People! He's beaten them up all of our history together, and I don't like how he treats them!

He doesn't do what's good for them just to be an asshole! He won't make needed laws and only passes ones that are useless to us! He doesn't let the 13 help themselves and cripples them with unjust laws! People who act against us are protected while he are left with our asses hanging out, so to speak!

He even openly declared war on us, claiming that we were ''out of his protection''!

He doesn't play fairly with the other political parties, man! He calls meetings in places he knows will make the opposition defenseless and forces them to do his bidding like some evil world-domination guy! He doesn't listen to the other dudes in his parliament, dissolving the houses when someone said that his invasion styles were brutal and harsh; which they totally are! He also screws with our judicial system by paying off the judges against us and lets his armies bully us! The soldiers eat up stuff that could be used to give the citizens of the 13 properly built houses! Apparently, now the army is superior to the people of my country –your colonies!- and that's not cool because they act like douches and get away with it!

Arty, I can't take this anymore; you're not handling it like you said you would, so I need to do what is right for the 13. We're done, Arthur, and I'm sorry. I don't want to hurt you like this, but all you're doing is hurting me. We had a great time; you are the best dude a dude like me could ask for, and I love you, man. I'm not a kid anymore, and you need to get that jerk King of yours to treat me like he should! It was great growing up with you, and I owe you a lot, but now I need to find my own way in the world.

I'm a big nation now, Arty.

Please don't take this too harshly.

Your ''mate'',

Alfred F. Jones,

The United States of America

Arthur rubbed his eyes and set down the letter on his bureau as he let out a deep sigh.

Alfred… what am I going to do with you? The more he thought about it, the more the former pirate missed the teen's cheerful face and boisterous personality. He may have been overwhelming, even in bed, but Arthur had to admit he loved that about the blonde and sighed again as he glanced down at the letter. '…I love you, man… …I don't want to hurt you like this…' Arthur wiped his eyes as they watered and blew his nose into his handkerchief.

"AR-THUR!" the King in the main throne room, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING?'

"The mail, Your Majesty!" Arthur replied thickly, "Alfred sent me a-!"

"BRING IT IN, MAN!" Arthur groaned and tapped his fingers on his desktop as his eyes dried up. "WHAT IS THAT BRAT OF A BOY DOING NOW?" Taking out the bottle of acenometophen, Arthur took two pills and sighed as he ventured bravely into the throne room.

"Your Majesty," He said gravely as he held up the letter. "Alfred sent this to me personally so I" The fat monarch swiped it from his hand and Arthur sighed, "Never mind…"

"THAT COCKY CHILD!" the King boomed as Arthur plugged his ear nearest the man. "HOW DARE A-!A-! A WILD-CHILD NATION LIKE THAT TALK OF ME WITH SUCH DISRESPECT! AR-THUR!"

"…Yes, Your Majesty…?" Arthur replied reluctantly,

"PREPARE THE NAVY! WE ARE GOING TO TEACH THIS BOY HIS PLACE IN THE WORLD!"