A/N: OMG! I am so sorry for not updating anything in so long and not answering messages. For those of you 14 and up probably know how I am feeling about midterm Finals. :p lol anyway, here is a little collection of (hopefully) funny stories to lighten the mood *whispers under breath* and for forgiveness. So here we are. :D please enjoy!
Disclaimer: I'll make it very simple to everyone… me no own twilight… why they heck am I talking like a 1st grader?
Jokes on you Eddie!
5) Change the pitches of the keys on his piano.
"Emmett are you sure that we should be doing this?" I asked him.
"Bella," Emmett sighed looking at me. "If you are going to be part of the family for eternity, you need to get used to people playing jokes on you. We all play jokes on each other… we all have a team. As you can guess, Edward and Alice are a team and Jasper and Rose are a team. I need you to promise me that you will team up with me on the jokes." He gave me these puppy dog eyes that I could never say no to.
"Fine… but when Edward finds out about this, I didn't have anything to do with it. Got it?"
"Yes Madam," Emmett said with fake seriousness.
I snorted and went back to helping Emmett change all the key pitches of Edward's precious piano.
(JOKES ON YOU)
I cleared it with Charlie that I was spending the night with Alice the very same day that Emmett and I did our little prank. Charlie wasn't too happy about it, but I finally got him to agree to it. When I got to the Cullen house, Emmett opened the door and gave me a wink as he pulled me though the door. I knew that Edward hadn't touched his piano yet so it was up to me to get him to play it. I also wanted to see his reaction. Emmett held up a video camera and I smirked at him. This was going to be great. He so owes me a copy after this.
As I walked over to were Edward was sitting, Alice gave me a wink and skipped over to Jasper and pecked him on the lips. I sat next to Edward and turned to him with a smile. "Edward, I was wondering… could you play me my lullaby?"
He smiled at me. "Of course, Bella."
He got up and went to the piano while me, Alice and Emmett were trying to hold back our laughter. Everyone else but Edward was looking at us curiously. I shouldn't be surprised that Alice had saw this.
When Edward hit the first note, I thought I was going to die of laughter.
"What the Hell?" Was Edward's brilliant response to that. Alice and I were trying to restrain our laughter while Emmett shook with silent laughter. He hit another look and a confused and irritated look came over his face. Everyone saw Emmett holding the video camera and they were trying not to laugh.
Edward started to pound on the keys while he tried to figure out what was going on. I couldn't take it any longer and I looked at Alice and Emmett and we all had a silent agreement that now was the time to laugh.
Edward looked at us all and looked angry but most of all embarrassed. I was pretty sure that if he could blush that he would be ten shades red. He looked at me. "Was this your idea?" he was furious, I could see that.
Alice piped in. "Actually… it was Emmett."
Edward turned to Emmett who was still holding up the camera and looked murderous. "You will burn that tape. You hear me!" I guess Emmett had a brilliant reply of 'No' and Edward chased him around the house for a half hour until he smashed the camera in his hand.
Little did Edward know that Emmett gave me the tape right before he looked his way.
4) Put fake blood all over Bella and lay her on her bed.
"Now, Bella, do this like we rehearsed," Emmett said to me is a serious yet joking way.
I nodded nervously. I fell back on the bed and Emmett covered me in fake blood and Alice put makeup on my neck to make it look like Emmett bit me on the neck.
After Emmett finish perfecting his work, Edward showed up in the house calling my name. Emmett ran from the room and met Edward.
"Edward, I'm s-so s-s-sorry! I didn't mean t-to," he sobbed. I could practically see Edward stiffen and see the anger in his eye.
"Emmett. What. Did. You. Do?"
"Edward, I'm sorry. Bella just-" he cut off because Edward ran up the stairs and through the door open. I could tell he stopped breathing once he got in the room. "BELLA!" he screamed. It took all I had to keep a straight face. Emmett really needed to show me this when we were done. "No, no, Bella. Stay with me sweetheart."
I started to crack up laughing. And opened my eyes to see a confused Edward. I looked over at Emmett, who had hid the camera because he didn't want Edward breaking this one, and Edward followed my gaze. He glared at Emmett. "Emmett," he growled and stalked forward.
"Uh… Bye," Emmett said before running out the door with Edward right on his heal.
I sighed. I really should clean up now. I thought as I got walked into Alice's bathroom with a laughing Alice inside.
3) Hotwire and crash his Volvo.
Emmett really turned me into a prankster. It was just too much fun to torment my Edward this way. I think I was going to far with the next prank but I decided to go with it. I mean, Edward loves me so he wouldn't kill me for it … If it was Emmett… he would kill him in a heart beat.
I pulled the wires out and started to work on hotwiring Edward's Volvo. I saw how to do it on the internet before so I didn't see that harm in trying it out. I hooted when I heard the beautiful purr of the engine. I pushed my foot down on the gas petal and peeled out of the driveway. I was driving down the main highway and into town when I saw the Cullens standing there looking shocked. Edward's eyes were wide. I thought I saw him mouth "But I have my keys." I laughed harder as I heard Emmett boom, "That's my sister."
Then next second I find myself wrapped around a tree… right before I blacked out.
2) Go up to Charlie and say that Edward got Bella pregnant.
I went home the next day after spending the night in the hospital. Let's just say that Edward wasn't happy with me. Rose came to visit me though saying how she now has higher respect for me because no one ever dares to take Edward's Volvo for a ride let alone hotwire it and crash it.
I was waiting in the kitchen for Edward to arrive when another crazy plan came to my mind. I could just imagine what Alice would think.
I laughed out loud during a death scene in a movie that my family was watching and I got a weird look from everyone. I didn't care. Bella's plan is going it be hilarious! Edward left with his car a minute ago so I said that we should all run to Bella's house because the fun is going to begin.
BACK TO BELLA'S POV:
I made myself look anxious. This was going to be great. I saw Charlie look in a I shuffled my feet. "Dad, I need to talk to you about… something."
"Yes, Bella?" He asked suddenly nervous. I could see that I had 2 minutes before Edward arrived so I quickly said what had to be said.
"I-I'm p-pregnant," I mumbled thinking that he didn't hear me and I was about ready to say it again when I caught the shocked look on his face that quickly flushed red with fury. Before he or I could say anything, I heard a knock on the door. Perfect timing Edward. I smirked as my dad stomped to the floor.
I looked around the corner to see my dad open the door and start screaming in Edward's face. My dad pulled out his pistol and my eyes widened. He wouldn't. Edward backed up even thought the bullet wouldn't hurt him. I saw fear in his wide eyes. I snorted quietly. The only thing that could scare a vampire is when the vampire's girlfriend's father is fuming with a gun. I felt like I was going to die laughing. I saw Alice and her family there laughing and she game me a thumbs up. God, how I love my soon-to-be-sister.
My dad aimed at Edward and I ran forward an grabbed the gun. My advice to anyone that has to do this; when you grab the gun, don't stand in front of it otherwise you're going to get shot… like I did.
1)Give his number out to all the cheerleaders and say that he wants a date.
After I got out of the hospital a second time in the past 2 days, I decided one more joke was in order. I had 20 cards with Edward's cell number on it ready to go. I walked into the locker room where all the cheerleaders were getting ready for gym fuming, or so they thought. I walked up to them and said, "Edward told me to give these to you and said to tell you to call him as soon as possible," I spit at them, pretending to be furious. "I don't even know why I am doing this," I muttered to myself, though still loud enough to hear.
I walked back out of the locker room with a smile on my face. Edward is going to love this.
I was listening to my music when I heard my phone go off. I checked the caller ID and saw an unfamiliar number. I answered the phone and was met by the voice of the head cheerleader. I hung up and a second later another number popped up. And another and another and so on. I had one thought on my mind; Bella, you are so dead!
A/N: So, what do you guys think? I have never done something like this before, it was kind of fun actually. Cracked up laughing at different parts because I could see the scene in my head. Weeeellllll… I will be working on a couple chapters to different stories and new stories every now and then.