Author's Note: Okay, so this is just something I was playing around with earlier. I thought it might be fun to explore Kurt in this universe. You don't have to have seen The United States of Tara to read this fic. If you're reading my other story that's in progress, Dead Like Kurt, don't worry-I'm not abandoning that one, I just wanted to try this out. If I don't get any feedback, I may not continue with this one, so let me know what you think either way. If I do continue with this, it probably won't be updated as frequently as Dead Like Kurt, but it's a nice to take a break every now and then.
Oh, and I promise at some point I will write an original fic that's based solely on Glee :)
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee or United States of Tara or any of the characters therein.
Kurt hovered the pointer of his mouse over the record button for a moment before taking a deep breath and clicking it. Leaning back and looking directly into the camera, he began to speak.
"Hi, my name is Kurt Hummel. It's August twenty-fourth, two thousand and eleven at approximately eight o'clock in the morning. I figure I have about ten more minutes of lucidity, so I thought I'd make good use of it.
About three years ago, I was diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder or D.I.D., which most people refer to as multiple personality disorder. It's pretty rare and not very many people are diagnosed with it as young as I was, which makes it even weirder. My dad says that it's been going on for even longer, since I was really young. He said for years he thought I just had an overactive imagination, but when I showed up to school one day as one of my alters, he knew something was up.
I guess I should explain what I mean by 'alters'. They're what I call my different personalities. It feels weird to say personalities, because I don't feel like my alters are part of me at all. When one of them takes over, I don't remember what happens. Sometimes I just find myself in some weird place, wearing someone else's clothes and I can't figure out how I got there. God knows what kind of crazy things I've done without even knowing about it. At times, it seems like the alters come out more than I do, especially when things get stressful or I'm anxious about something. Other times, they won't come around for weeks. It's really a crapshoot.
Anyway, my dad is supportive, which I'm thankful for. My mom died when I was eight, so I don't know how she would have dealt with the whole thing. My dad got remarried to my step mom Carole last year and she has a son, Finn, who's in my grade. They're really cool too, even though I know at first the whole DID thing really freaked them out. I think they're used to it now.
I'm also really lucky to have the most amazing boyfriend in the world, Blaine Anderson. He's super supportive and loving, but he hasn't really seen a whole lot of my other sides. Sometimes I worry that when he does, he might run screaming in the other direction.
I used to take medication, which really helped control the alters, but it made me feel like a total zombie, so over the summer, my doctor tapered me off, much to her disapproval. The upside is that I started feeling like me again. The downside is that my alters started feeling like themselves again too, and have started coming out to play again. Unfortunately, this means that I had to start homeschooling this year.
It's my senior year of high school. I should be living it up, filling out college applications, singing with New Directions—my schools glee club—and hanging out with my friends. Today's the first day of school and here I am, sitting on my bed in my pajamas. The only good thing about this is that I got special permission from Mr. Figgins, the principal at my old high school, to remain in glee club. They practice after school three days a week, so at least I'll be able to stay connected to my friends. It still sucks though."
"Kurt!" Kurt turned toward the door where he could hear his father calling him from downstairs.
"Yeah, dad?" He yelled back.
"C'mon down for breakfast," Burt Hummel shouted back. "Finn has to leave for school in a few minutes."
"Be right there," Kurt sighed, returning his attention to the camera. "See? Not only do I not get to show off my fabulous first-day-of-school ensemble, but I have to go eat breakfast with Finn and pretend to be all happy that he gets to have his magical senior year while I'm locked in the attic like Mr. Rochester's first wife." Kurt rolled his eyes and clicked the stop button on his laptop before closing the screen.
"So, Finn, how's football practice going?" Carole asked her son as she poured him a bowl of cereal. It was the first day of school, but the team had been practicing since mid-summer with high hopes of making it to the state championship this year.
"Really tough," Finn answered, shoving a spoonful of Froot Loops into his mouth. "Coach Beiste is really riding us, but I think we're looking pretty good. We may go all the way this year."
"Here's hopin', kid," Burt raised his orange juice in a toast to his step son. "Where's Kurt? I called him to come down ten minutes ago."
"Maybe he's still upset about the whole homeschool issue," Carole said. "I can't say I blame him, it is his senior year after all."
Just then, Kurt ambled into the room. He was dressed in tight wranglers, a plaid button up shirt and a Future Farmers of America trucker's hat. His hands were shoved in his pockets and he was gnawing on a toothpick.
"So, Finn," he drawled with a lazy southern accent. "First last day of school, ain't it? I'm gonna give you a bit of advice. Chase all the ladies you can, because the pickin's don't get any better than they are in high school, you know what I mean?"
"Conrad, it's been a while," Burt sighed, leaning back in his chair, casting glances at Carole and Finn respectively.
"Yeah, dude," Finn said, putting his spoon down in his now empty bowl. "I haven't seen you in months."
"Well, you know, I come and go," Kurt replied. "Don't like to stay in one place too long. Seems hanging around same watering holes gets me into trouble with the women folk." The other three simultaneously nodded, remembering back to the last time 'Conrad' took over. For weeks afterward, several girls from Crawford Country Day wouldn't stop calling the house, crying about how he had broken their hearts. Conrad was a true love 'em and leave 'em ladies man, no doubt about it.
"Okay, well, I gotta get going," Finn said, getting up from the table and throwing his backpack over one shoulder.
"Hey, if you see that sweet little thing, Brittany, you tell her Conrad has something for her if she wants to stop by after school, if ya know what I mean," Kurt gave a conspiratorial wink and Finn had a hard time not laughing. Brittany S. Pierce didn't understand that Kurt and Conrad were the same person and thoroughly enjoyed Conrad's presence. Finn didn't want to think about what Kurt would do if he knew the kinds of things Conrad had done with Brittany in the past.
Um, sure thing, dude," Finn said, heading out the door. "Bye everyone!" The other three told him goodbye and as the door closed behind him, Burt turned to his son.
"Well, I guess since you're here, Conrad, I'll take the day off from work," he sighed. Out of all Kurt's alters, Conrad was the most likely to get into trouble. He wandered off constantly and one time had even stolen the neighbor's motorcycle. Thankfully, Mr. Norris was sympathetic about Kurt's disorder and didn't call the police when he discovered the bike was missing. Kurt had called several hours later from outside of a gentleman's club a few towns over asking to be picked up. Conrad may have known how to operate a motorcycle, but Kurt sure didn't.
"What do you want to do today?" Burt asked.
"I was thinkin' about headin' over to the shootin' range," Kurt answered, "Maybe the bowling alley, later."
"Alright then," Burt said, standing up. "Go get your hearing protection and I'll call into work." Kurt moseyed out of the kitchen and headed to the garage. Carole came around from the other side of the kitchen counter and gave her husband a hug.
"What do you think brought Conrad out?" She asked.
"I don't know, maybe the stress of not being able to go to school today," Burt ventured. "I was worried this might happen, but I was hoping for maybe Gina or Jamie. Anyone but Conrad."
"Hopefully Kurt'll be back soon," Carole replied reassuringly. "Besides, you can't deny how much you enjoy the shooting range." Burt shrugged his shoulders and smiled sheepishly at his wife. As much of a handful as Conrad was, at least they shared a lot of the same interests.
"Well, I better get a move on," Burt said, standing up and grabbing the house phone off the charger. As he dialed the number for work, he mentally prepared himself for the likely adventure he was in for with Conrad, and tried to keep his worry about his son's well-being at bay.
So, yay or nay? Could be fun, I think!