I don't own Harry Potter (Because if I did, Snape would live and Draco would marry Pansy instead of Astoria)

Dear Fanfiction,

First off, I am the ONLY Boy Who Lived. I do NOT have a twin brother.

Secondly, I married GINEVRA WEASLEY! Not Hermione or Cho or Luna. GINNY!

Next, Snape is NOT my father. And I will never EVER EVER fancy him. I gag at the thought.

Lastly, I don't like Ron that way and I will NEVER like Malfoy in any way! Stop pairing me up with them!

Sincerely,

Harry James Potter

Read and Review, darlings!