"I think we should see other people."
"Did you just say...did we just say...?"
"What the hell?"
"Are you serious?"
"Are you serious? Like, what the hell?"
"No. I refuse to believe that just happened. It's impossible."
"...what the hell? No, what the fuck?"
"...did we really just break up with each other? At the same time? Using the most cliched break-up line in the history of cliched break-up lines?"
"Yeah. We did."
Massie Block went from 'in a relationship' to 'single.'
Cam Fisher went from 'in a relationship' to 'single.'
(Massie Block likes this.)
Cam Fisher: You would like this, Mass. Vindictive bastard.
Massie Block: I aim to please, Hot Lips.
Cam Fisher: Are you allowed to still call me that now?
Massie Block: Relationships come and go. Hot Lips is forever.
Cam Fisher: I'm so breaking up with you.
Cam Fisher: OH WAIT.
Massie Block: Not cool, Hot Lips. My poor heart can't take any more trauma.
Josh Hotz: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS (19 people like this comment.)
Chris Plovert: Seriously, guys. What is this shit? (6 people like this comment.)
Alicia Rivera: PLEASE TELL ME THIS A CRUEL, SICK JOKE! (7 people like this comment.)
Massie Block: As much as me and Hot Lips Fisher enjoy cruel, sick jokes...this is the real deal, folks. Show's over.
Alicia Rivera: Oh my God. I'm coming over right now. Fuck you two so much. So. Much.
Josh Hotz: WELL I HOPE YOU TWO ARE PRETTY FUCKING CONTENT WITH YOURSELVES...BECAUSE THERE GOES MY ABILITY TO BELIEVE IN LOVE!
Cam Fisher: OUR RELATIONSHIP IS STILL PURE AND UNTAINTED, JOSHUA! (Josh Hotz likes this comment.)
Massie Block: Oh hey, Cam, did you still wanna get sushi? I'm starved.
Cam Fisher: Yeah. After I'm done making sweet, sweet love to Josh, I'll pick you up. 8ish? (Josh Hotz likes this comment.)
Massie Block: K I'm there. We should catch a movie afterward or something.
Cam Fisher: Ooh, I really want to see that horror one with the trailer that gives away the entire plot. You know how much I like those.
Alicia Rivera: Can you two shut the fuck up and properly mourn the loss of this relationship? Shit.
"I can't believe it," groaned Alicia the following Monday after The Break Up (capital letters, of course). She and Massie were situated in their usual perch in the Briarwood library, at the old and chipped table in the back surrounded by all the homework they should have done before.
Massie frowned, staring blankly at her English assignment ('In an essay, describe the major themes of the book you obviously couldn't be bothered to read') before discarding it with a sigh. Cam usually did the English coursework anyway. It was one of the reason they had worked so well: Massie the left-brain, Cam the right. "Believe it, querida," she answered dully. "Me and Cammy Boy are through."
"But...but you guys broke up with each other simultaneously," Alicia mused, raising an eyebrow. Her interrogative, future-journalist side had come out in full force the night of The Break Up when she burst into the Block estate, demanding an explanation as to why Briarwood's very own golden couple decided to call it quits. Massie had obliged her with the full story. The way the two of them didn't seem so right any more, the way they met up too willingly at the park they first met as children, and the way the both uttered those fateful words at exactly the same moment. Serendipity worked in strange ways.
"Yeah, and?" Massie snorted, leafing through her calculus homework with a bored sort of ease. Frustrated, Alicia slapped the lengthy equation sheet out of her best friend's hand.
"Doesn't that sort of mean something?" she argued, eyes widening.
Exhaling, Alicia met Massie's eyes dead-on. "That you two are even more perfect together than we all originally thought."
"Don't even look at me, asshole," Josh growled at Cam as he entered the boy's locker room for soccer practice. Not once did anyone expect spiteful, romance-abhorring Josh Hotz to be the most effected by The Break Up. But then again, it could be argued that the reason he swore off love so certainly was because Cam and Massie had always been enough for him (and everyone).
Cam looked up curiously from lacing his cleats. "That's not what you said last night," he shot back with a grin. Defecting attacks with humor was a strong suit of his.
From the strained expressed on his face, it was very clear that Josh was trying to suppress a laugh. "Don't. This is why people think we're gay and dating."
"We're not dating?"
"Love you too, man."
Throwing down his practice bag with unnecessary force, Josh plopped down on the steel bench and stared up at the gray, dimly lit ceiling. "Why did you break up?" he asked quietly, despite the subject of 'why' already have been discussed ad-nauseum over Skyrim and pizza. "You guys were so good together. And it's not like you guys were fighting or anything. This just came out of nowhere."
"Did it, though?" philosophized Cam, with a dreamy voice and faux-beard stroke for good measure.
Josh sat up and gazed at his friend, irritated. "Don't try your pseudo-artsy-introspective bullshit with me, Camaro. I'm better than that. What happened?"
Truthfully, Cam was still shaky on his own explanation. They had been CamandMassie for nearly two years, and that time had been great. It was all meaningful stares, inside jokes, and long drives to nowhere, talking about everything and nothing. Writing stupid letters to each other in class, nonsensical singing, and saying rude things to one with those goofy smiles that revealed they meant the complete opposite of whatever insult they unleashed on each other. And he loved every moment of it. Loved, being past tense.
"Things changed," Cam answered a bit too cryptically, "we did too."
"You do realize that Masseline is not my full, legal name? And that you should really stop referring me to that when you're pissed at me."
"I'm not pissed at you. Just disappointed."
"That's Alicia for pissed."
"Is there a reason you're telephoning me at, let's see, three in the goddamn morning, Masseline? It's a school night."
"See, dear Alicialine—"
"That doesn't even make any sort of sense whatsoever."
"Anyway, Leeshette, there is a purpose to this call. Like, why is there a collection of romantic comedies in my DVD shelf? And why is my fridge stocked with Ben and Jerry's ice cream in a variety of flavors? Oh and, let's not forget the three boxes of Kleenex on my night stand?"
"Don't know where you're going with this. But, it sounds like you have an amazing friend who cares about you and your general well-being."
"Alicia Belen de Santiago Rivera, are you trying to comfort me with stereotypical sad girl materials?"
"That depends, do you feel comforted? And if not, I suggest curling up with Notting Hill, a pint of Cherry Garcia, and crying until your tear ducts cannot properly function any more?"
"Eat shit and die."
"I'm just trying to help, Mass."
"I don't need help. I don't need ice cream or shitty Julia Roberts movies or anything like that. I just need space. And understanding. Can you do that for me?"
"Depends. Can you get back together with Cam?"
"Have I already told you to eat shit and die? If not, allow me to say it in Spanish. Come mierda y muere."
"Nice try, Google Translate."
The whole week, Cam had to flag questions and comments from just about everyone in the school regarding The Break Up. Awestruck underclassmen who idolized the senior couple, teachers who had been forced to watch the pair flirtatiously bicker during lessons, and even the janitors, who had been accustomed to finding them in broom closets. Not passionately locking lips, like their hormone-addled peers, but simply talking.
"I just thought you two were amazing together, you know?" Dylan Marvil said sadly to him in art class. Art class was his sole respite in the midst of this chaos. Once the paper was in front of him and the charcoal was placed firmly in his hand, all was well. Of course, the gossip just had to catch up with him. "You had the relationship that shitty teen romance novels led me to believe existed."
"If you ever need to talk, son," Mr. Myner, the history teacher, murmured with a fatherly tone, "you know where to find me. My office is always open to you, Cameron." Nodding politely and spewing out some thank-you, Cam immediately rushed away.
"Does this mean I can get at Massie now?" Kemp Hurley queried all too eagerly. "Not that I will, or anything. But she's been looking really good lately. Is it possible that she got hotter? I mean she was always hot. Not was, but is. You had that for two years, Fisher, you lucky son-of-a-bitch." Deep down, Cam knew that Kemp lacked basic tact and manners, but that didn't stop his blood from boiling and his fists from clenching. But, he was still Good Ol' Fisher, so he laughed the comment off playfully and tried to forget the blunt words.
(Cam pushed him a little too hard in practice afterward. Not anything severe, but he just slid into Kemp, who coincidentally slid face-first into the goal post. It was an accident. Really.)
So I've been gone. Not gone, but I think M.I.A. is a better term for it. Or dead. Yeah, I like dead. Sorry guys, school has made me its slave. But, things are looking up again and I'm gonna try to be more involved. Expect an update for 'the great inbetween' very, very soon!
This story came to me out of nowhere and was one of those things that just had to be written. This chapter is just supposed to be the initial shock, next part revolves around the curious break-up friendship that ensues. Forgive me if I'm ridiculously rusty, but I hope you enjoyed reading it and didn't recoil from utter disgust :)