A/N: Hey, everyone! I present to you the first chapter of my rewrite of "Evil Phineas"! I was originally planning to post this earlier, but I was struck with a bad cold and it was heavily distracting. But now that I'm better, save for a mild runny nose, I am back and I hope to get things underway!

For those of you who were disappointed about my sudden end over the original and voiced said disappointment in your reviews, please do not complain (If your intention wasn't to complain, I apologize; I can't think of another word as good). Do what Phineas would do and accept things the way they are. Or seethe in hatred at TLEGG, if you can't move on; remember, all of this wouldn't have been possible without him. I promise you, I am making many attempts to get around my writer's block over the original. So far, these attempts have come to naught, but I'm still trying.

Now that that's been taken care of, it's time to begin the story. ENJOY!

Disclaimer: I DON'T OWN PHINEAS AND FERB! If I did, then Phinabella would've become official a long time ago and Perry's secret-agent identity would be known to the gang. Now that would be awesome... *slips off into la-la-land*

It was a peaceful summer morning in Danville, and the rays emanating from the sun bathed the city in its warmth and radiance. At the backyard of 2308 Maple Drive, two boys had just seated themselves under the shade of a tree that had firmly stood there for many years, withstanding everything from rainstorms to cold snow to the most unthinkable of circumstances.

One of the two boys had an oddly-shaped triangular head with a pointed nose; short, spiky, deep-red hair; and large, dark-blue eyes. He wore his trademark choice of clothing, an orange T-shirt with off-white stripes, blue cargo shorts, and blue high-top sneakers. Though he was frowning as he was deep in concentration at the time, with an eyebrow raised, one could get the distinct feeling that he or she would be lucky to be this boy's good acquaintance. Maybe it had to do with the way the boy made a slight smile that radiated with an intense optimism that would spark the interest and comfort of many.

The other boy had a head as odd as that of his companion's; it was tall and rectangular, with a large cubical nose, that was highly reminiscent of the letter F, something quite fitting for this particular kid, as you'll find out later. He also sported thick, scruffy, leaf-green hair; and dark-blue eyes, one of which is larger than the other. His choice of clothing was a collared beige shirt with a single button; very high-waisted, dark-purple pants with a light-purple belt; and black tennis shoes.

If one were to look at the green-haired boy, then to the other, he or she could notice a high amount of contrasting between the two. And yet, this person would be quite wrong, because, as unlikely of a duo the two were, these two were actually the best of friends, tied together by the tightest of bonds, inseparable. Only those closest to them would know that.

The triangle-headed boy turned his head to look at the strange animal lying next to him. It was a platypus, sporting teal fur and the feeling of nonsentience. The boy smiled and stroked the platypus's back, glad to have it as a pet, no matter how strange and mindless it looked, no matter how genuinely animal experts and online websites described it and its kind as an 'aberration of nature'.

Finally, the triangle-headed boy glanced at his companion. "You know, Ferb," he said, "in two weeks, it'll be the last day of summer. The last day. And then it's back to school for us. My, summer went by so fast. And yet, we've done so much. We built a rollercoaster, we became one-hit wonders, we travelled through time, we travelled around the world in one day, we did something with a pharmacist that I don't remember... yeah, such memories. And now, we're gonna have to throw this pattern away in favor for school. School's easy, and yet, it's a plain bore. Don't you agree, Ferb?"

The boy named Ferb nodded silently, to which the triangle-headed boy smiled, knowing how much his stepbrother was a man-of-action. Yeah, that's right, stepbrother. Not only are the two the most unlikely of friends, but they're also brothers. And it made both proud to know that.

Just then, the window door into the house slid open, and a woman in her forties stepped into the backyard. She had red hair with a light-red headband and a large, curved waist; she wore a yellow shirt with a white undershirt, army-green pants, blue earrings, and yellow shoes. An ID reading 'Linda Flynn' was attached to the left side of her upper body. One glance at her and you would immediately recognize her as an average mother.

"Phineas, Ferb," said the woman named Linda, "your father and I are going to the antique convention downtown."

"Okay, Mom," the triangle-headed boy named Phineas replied, "have fun!"

"You bet I will. Oh, and by the way, Candace is in charge."

A maniacal giggling came from inside the house, and a thin teenage girl of about fifteen scurried out of the house like a squirrel, a manic glint present in her dark-blue eyes. She sported bright-red, almost orange hair, a generally round face, and a notably long and thin neck, the latter of which gave her the impression of a giraffe. This girl wore a red tank top, a white skirt with a red belt, and white shoes with red socks. It is no doubt that this girl is Candace.

"Yeah, that's right, Phineas and Ferb!" exclaimed Candace, pointing at the two boys accusingly. "I'm in charge, and that means you must follow my orders! And my first order of the day is to not make anything BUSTWORTHY! Got that, busters? No wacky, crazy, insane inventions that'll make me look nuts in front of Mom!"

"Candace," Phineas said, "you do know that wacky, crazy, and insane, and also nuts, mean the same thing."

Candace was speaking so fast that her words were almost connected into one word. "Don't-think-I-don't-know-what-I'm-doing! I-know-what-I'm-doing! Now-remember-no-inventions! Period!"

And with that, Candace stormed off into the house, leaving behind Phineas, Ferb, and Linda.

"Well," Linda said, "that was to be expected. Now, have fun yourselves, boys!"

"Okay, Mom!" replied Phineas, just as Linda left back inside the house. With him, Ferb, and his platypus alone, Phineas turned back to his stepbrother. "Now Ferb, Candace told us that we can't build anything today. And yet, it's almost the end of summer. We've gotta make summer count even more. But I don't wanna make Candace angry. She sounded so serious. What should we do?"

The backyard gate opened, and in stepped a girl about Phineas and Ferb's age, with long, black hair and oval-shaped, dark-blue eyes, which were practically filled with hearts as she stared at Phineas. Wearing a fuchsia-pink dress with a white T-shirt underneath and a purple belt, pink shoes, and a pink bow, she walked into the backyard confidently, smiling a caring, innocent smile that was enough to melt the hearts of adults and make boys swoon. Quite surprisingly, Phineas didn't take notice of this smile.

"Hey, Phineas," the girl greeted with a sweet voice. "Whatcha' doin'?"

"Trying to find out how to invent something without having Candace know," replied Phineas thoughtfully. "I really don't know how to do that. Do you, Isabella?"

"Maybe you can come over to the Fireside Girls clubhouse," the girl named Isabella said. "We're hosting a birthday party for Adyson over there, and we've invited everyone. In fact, I personally came over with the intention of telling you guys myself. We could use your inventing skills to make something that'll make the party a blast-"

"That's it!" Phineas's eyes brightened suddenly, a light bulb practically going off in his head. "Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today! Thanks Isabella, for inspiring me!"

Isabella sighed, her eyes wandering off dreamily. Undoubtedly, she enjoyed being thanked by Phineas, her longtime crush. Just then, Phineas spoke up again, looking around in a confused manner.

"Hey, where's Perry?"

The platypus named Perry had taken the time to scurry behind the tree while Phineas conversed with Isabella. Standing up on its hind legs, Perry whipped out a brown fedora, his trademark article of clothing, and placed it on his head, adjusting it a little to make wearing it comfortable. Pressing a hidden button on the tree, a hatch opened in its trunk; Perry jumped inside and found himself plummeting down a greenish-blue tube. Positioning himself for the landing, the platypus landed on a rotating seat of crimson, sized specifically for him. In fact, everything in the underground room he was in was sized just for him.

The noise of static filled the air and Perry looked at a giant (from his point-of-view) TV screen overhead the keyboard in front of him; it was full of static for a moment, but then, the stern face of a gray-haired man with dark-blue eyes, a gray mustache, and a dark-gray monobrow filled its space. Perry immediately identified this man as his superior, Major Francis Monogram, ready to give him today's mission.

"Uh, good morning, Agent P," Monogram greeted, his voice as stern as his looks. "Recently, our spies have seen Doofenshmirtz transporting materials back to his headquarters."

Perry sighed in his mind, musing. Dr. Heinz Doofenshmirtz was his arch-nemesis, a self-proclaimed evil scientist holding a diabolical goal to conquer the Tri-State Area, a goal quite surprising as most villains would express desires to take control of the world. Every day would he be assigned to wage it out against Doofenshmirtz, thwarting his plan of using an invention he made, called an 'Inator', on the Tri-State Area; this task would always be easy, since Doofenshmirtz was clumsy and always overlooked flaws in his scheme, flaws that were horrendously easy to discern. And then, the next day, Perry would always find himself fighting with Doofenshmirtz again, and emerging victorious. It was a pattern he took note of a long time ago.

However, Perry knew that if he didn't take this job like all the rest, then Doofenshmirtz would actually succeed (the thought of that made him laugh mentally), and he would've let the Tri-State Area down, and especially the Flynn-Fletcher family. Phineas and Ferb. His owners, those he had promised himself he would protect using this job the moment he was asked to join. So, Perry focused himself, listening to his superior as he continued to describe the mission.

"The materials haven't been identified, save for one-" An image of a canister appeared next to Monogram; Perry immediately identified it as the one containing Pizzazium Infinionite, a rare element containing energy undreamed of. Doofenshmirtz once attempted to steal it, but of course he was stopped. "-That's right, the Pizzazium Infinionite canister. We fear that whatever Inator he plans on building, it'll be very, VERY powerful. You must put a stop to this, Agent P. Good luck. Oh, and congratulations for your award."

Just a few days ago, it had been announced that, for his noble services to his employer organization, the Organization Without a Cool Acronym, or OWCA, Perry would be awarded the 'Honorary OWCA Agent' award, a prestigious award presented to only the bravest and most dedicated of agents working for the organziation. It made Perry proud to know that; he even puffed his chest out a bit noticeably.

"Well, don't just stand there Agent P!" berated Monogram, noticing Perry's posture. "Get going; Doofenshmirtz is waiting for you to thwart him!"

Perry saluted his superior and ran off towards his hoverjet.

A/N: Ah, we all know what Doof's up to, and we all know what'll happen as a result. But exactly how different things will be from the original, you'll have to find out.

For now, I'd like to thank the following for reviewing:




Black Queen of Darkness











CMR Rosa





Person (unsigned)

Tempest Cain


maniac's maniac

Unsigned reviewer

...Wow. So that's how much reviews I can get for rewriting an awesome story. And I'm glad there's some newcomers. Hope you stay tuned!

Well, hope you enjoyed this first chapter of my rewrite! TheCartoonFanatic01 is out. PEACE!