AN: Okay this is my first attempt to write anything besides those darn essays they made us do in high school in order to graduate. I was inspired by the song, "If you ever come back" by The Script who I think are awesome. Check them out if you haven't yet :)
Thanks a bunch to my favorite Penguin: Miaisabella4ff (who totally rocks by the way) for helping me polish this up and giving me encouragement. I love ya much BB!
Disclaimer: I obviously don't own Twilight or anything of the characters, but Rob totally owns me ;)
Without further ADO... Drum Roll PLEASE!
I roll over on my back and realized I slept on her side of the bed again. I somehow convinced myself that it would bring me comfort instead it makes the pain even more real.
"I can't do this anymore. I just can't." Those words have been on a loop for the past 2 months, ever since she walked out that door. I thought we were okay. Maybe that was the problem, I thought, I didn't know.
I met her 8 months ago on a night out with the boys. I wasn't looking for a relationship or anything of the "ship" kind. My life was planned out and a relationship was just not in those plans until she came along and changed the game. Her eyes were the first thing I noticed about her. They were a light shade of greenish blue and really stood out with her dark hair. And her smile... so breath taking and carefree. I have never seen a woman smile such an honest smile before, besides my mother. As my luck might have it she happened to be best friends with my best friend's girl.
4 months ago I was promoted to head of Obstetrics and Gynecology. With the new position came more work, which of course meant longer hours. I was getting accustomed to it, but I felt the strain on my relationship. I lost count on how many "sorry I have to work late agains, I'm leaving the office in 10 minutes" (which turned out to be 2 hours) and all the last minute cancelled dinners. Always telling me not to worry about it, she understood. I should have noticed then how forced or sad her smile was when I was around. I would come home so worn out that I would fall asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. I was up early and out the door before she even woke up.
We would text throughout the day when we could, but it wasn't enough. How I even thought it was is beyond me. I guess hindsight is 20/20.
But that night was the last straw. We had plans to meet our best friends, Jasper and Alice, for dinner to celebrate their engagement. I made all the necessary arrangements to ensure I would have the night off.
Just as I was about to head out of the office another doctor needed my help in an emergency C section. The mother was a 17 year old girl who was only 36 weeks. She was brought in for chest pains and trouble breathing. He explained to me that she had been having complications with her pregnancy starting at 26 weeks. Having contractions continuously since then, but never dilated. He had put her on all the treatments possible and even gave her steroid shots for the baby's lungs to start developing. But here she is at 36 weeks and the baby went into fetal distress. Her heart rate dropped and the pressure of the contractions was squeezing her head seeing how she dropped into the birth canal. He is a 1st year practicing doctor and there was no way I could have suggested someone else. We proceeded with the surgery, but there was no way we could have known the baby was in more trouble than we suspected.
The umbilical cord was wrapped around her neck twice and also around one of her legs. How she got in that predicament was beyond me. The baby was blue all over when we got her out.
We continued working on the mother while the pediatrician worked on the baby. After a while, everything turned out to be as okay as it could be in this circumstances, I headed back to my office and was shocked to see it was after 8. Dinner was an hour and a half ago and I didn't even get to call Bella to let her know I was going to be late.
I rushed out of there as fast I could and headed home.
I tried calling her cell on the way, but it kept going straight to voicemail. I called Jasper and all he said was that she went home.
I was ready for the apology and convinced myself that she couldn't be too mad. Upset yes, but she always understood. Once she heard the reason all would be forgiven. But when I walked through that door I found the last thing I expected.
She was standing there with her suitcase in her hand and dried tears on her face. I put my keys on the entry table and started walking towards her, but she put her hand up to stop me.
"I can't do this anymore. I just can't." She said.
"Baby, what are you doing?" I replied.
"I'm so sorry. I got caught up in an..." She cut me off before I could finish that sentence.
"You are always sorry Edward. I know your job is important and I tried to be supportive, but where does that leave us, huh? You are never around and when you are, you are always tired. I love you, so much, but I am tired of trying to fit in your schedule." Those words felt like I got the wind knock out of me. I tried opening my mouth to form words, but nothing came out. She said those 3 words, those 3 words I have yet to say to her.
"Baby, I... I... I love you too."
And her reply was a simply "it's not enough." She just walked up to me pecked my cheek and walked out the door.
When what happened finally dawned on me, I tried going after her, but she was gone.
I had tried calling her, always getting her voicemail, I even texted her, but when she texted me back telling me to stop I did. I tried asking Jasper how she was, but he would just give me a sad smile...
I held on to the hope that she would return. I kept telling myself that she just needs time. Time for what I had no clue because as it was she had time. Lots of time because my job granted her that.
I learned to manage my time better at work so when she came back I would show her she was important and I was trying.
In the mornings, I would leave the key under the mat hoping she would surprise me one day when I got home, but she hasn't, not even once.
I would set her a place at the counter, but I ate alone.
On the nights I knew I would be late, I would leave the light on in the hallway for her. But she never came back and I continued to hope she did.
I glance at the clock and notice my shift starts in an hour. I get up out of bed, don't even bother to make it, and head into the shower. After 30 minutes, I am ready to leave for work.
I make sure the key is under the mat, as I have been doing for 2 months. After work I decide to go to the store and rent a movie or 2 and prepare myself for a night alone.
Jazz tries to get me to meet up with him, but I am not in the mood. He won't talk about Bella to me and I guess I should be okay with that, but I miss her so damn much. I just want to know if she is okay, if she moved on, but he won't tell me a thing.
I pull into the driveway and get the groceries from the trunk and go inside. I go straight to the kitchen and start putting the groceries away. Once I am done I decide to take a shower before I start my eventful evening. As usual my thoughts are on Bella and I just wish I could hear her voice.
The cold water startles me out of my musings and I reach over to turn off the faucet. I towel off and put my clothes on.
I'm a bit hungry so I figure I can make a snack before I put the movie in. I walk into the kitchen and stop dead in my tracks. I blink a couple of times as if I am imaging the sight before me.
"Bella?" I say in a low whisper. She is looking at me, which seems to be forever, but before I know it she closes the distance and she is in my arms.
"Edward, I missed you so much." I hold on to her tightly for a bit, but pull back to look at her to make sure she is really here. I touch her face and her eyes flutter shut.
"I missed you too" I say after I noticed I haven't responded yet.
"I love you." I say and she replies simply with "It is enough."
Soooooooo review and let me know what ya think ;)
Much love peeps,