Hello lovelies ;) I figured I would do a BPOV after the awesome lvtwilight09 suggested it and I apologize for it taking me this long to do it. So I'll explain how this BPOV works at the end of the story just in case ya'll get confused. I didn't want to do a rehash of the convo that was in EPOV since I hate repeating myself. LOL
Much love to my Penguin who loves to hula dance. Look her up on Twitter (MiaIsabella4ff) her mind is like no other I have encountered. She is the chips to my salsa. Also a shout out to my Boo XquisiteProdigy. She is crazy and belongs in the nut house, but I can't afford it.
Mistakes are all mine. this is not beta'd.. Sorry ;/
As always I do not own Twilight. It belongs to the lovely Mrs. Meyer.
Two months. It has been 2 months since I walked out that door with a suitcase in my hand. It took everything in me to walk away and not look back. I don't know what hurt more, the fact that he just stood there while I walked out or the words that left my mouth. Those 3 words play over and over in my mind. How can I say something so hurtful? How could I manage to discount our love like that? I was upset and just tired. Tired of the late nights, no shows, but most of all tired of being felt like I was an afterthought. I know deep down it was not something he did purposely, but it hurt just the same.
I tried to act "normal" for the next couple of days that followed. I mean I was the one who walked out so I should be okay right? I talked with Alice and reassured her that I was fine. I used the good old excuse of "We weren't even dating that long", but even that sounded like crap.
I missed him like crazy and with his constant calls and texts I just would hurt more. So I told him to stop, but my fingers ached to say something more. I can't even tell you how many times I dialed his number and let my finger hover over the send button. I wanted to know how he was doing and at the same time I didn't. I made the decision to leave and I needed to stick with it.
After the first month things got easier. The hurt was still there, but as time went on I settled into a new routine and focused on work.
I met up with Alice a couple of times for lunch and dinner too. I was slowly making my way back into being social again. I mean it was not like I went into "emo-mode", but being around happy couples made my heart ache for him. I learned to deal with it for my best friend. I figured it is kind of hard to plan a wedding with a Debbie-downer maid of honor. So I sucked it up and realized that my smiles were more genuine and laughs were less forced. I still thought of him from time to time, but I didn't dwell on it. I was fine and I felt fine so I knew it was the truth.
Alice and I were having a meet-up at her apartment for some wedding details one night so I decided to stop by the market for some standard girl approved junk food.
I was pulling into the parking lot and there he was. I felt this feeling run through me and I knew I just had to get out of there before he noticed my car or me. I called Alice and told her that I was not feeling well and I would call her later for a rain check. I didn't notice the tears running down my face until I pulled into the driveway.
I rushed inside and locked the door. I made my way to the bedroom on autopilot. I was fine. I thought I was over this so why was I crying. Why did I feel this ache in my chest? Why did I feel the need to touch him? I kept asking these questions over and over until finally I had my answer. I was never fine. I miss him so much. I love him oh I love him so much. This feeling in my chest it's him. It's my heart missing him. My heart missing the other part of it that makes it beat. My heart aching to be whole again.
I sit on my bed for hours going through every single memory I can pull up. Every single kiss, every single I love you, every single innocent touch. The first time I laid eyes on him and how I felt the first time we made love. I jump from the bed with an epiphany. It is enough! How did I ever think it wasn't? Every relationship has its challenges and if you want it bad enough you work through it because the end result is truly worth it. Love is worth it. I go to bed with a smile on my face and a plan on my mind.
AN: The beginning of the story is in the morning before she sees Edward at the store. Bella is reflecting on her time away from Edward throughout the same day. When she sees him at the store it is later on that day. so this is all in the same day. Hope it makes sense to you because it does to me.
Thanks for reading. Much love,