The Chipmunk Bunch
Okay, I wrote this when I was completely bored and had an hour to kill, but actually got to like the idea halfway through, so I will probably do sequels to this, because I think there can be some pretty funny stories.
This is supposed to be a parody on the Brady Bunch. In case you aren't able to guess, the story is that Dave married Mrs. Miller and now the Chipmunks have to get used to having the Chipettes as sisters. This is supposed to be off of the cartoon version of the show.
"Here's a story, 'bout a crazy lady
Who was bringing up three very crazy squirrels.
All of them had hair of fur, not the mother
The oldest one wore pearls.
Here's a story, 'bout a man named Davie,
Who was bringing up three squirrels of his own.
They were four men living all together,
But they were all alone.
Till the one day when the lady met the fella
And they knew that it was much more than a hunch
That this group, must somehow form a family
That's the way they all became the Chipmunk Bunch
The Chipmunk Bunch, The Chipmunk Bunch
That's the way they became the Chipmunk Bunch
"Dave. Come on let's talk about this. Why on Earth would you want to get married to Mrs. Miller?"
"Alvin, the wedding was three weeks ago. When are you going to get over this?"
"When they pack their bags!"
Dave bent down to Alvin, "They aren't leaving. They are your sisters. Just talk to them, they aren't as bad as you make them out to be. Why don't you sit down and talk to Brittany?"
"Can't I do something less painful, like skydive without a parachute?"
"Okay, fine I'm going.
Alvin walked up to the girl's bedroom and knocked.
"Come in!" Eleanor yelled.
Alvin walked in.
"Get out!" Brittany yelled.
"What did I do to you?"
"Like I don't know who poured soda into my backpack!"
Jeanette looked up "Actually that was me Britt. I tripped and fell. Don't you remember me coming in and crying and telling you?"
"I'm waiting for an apology."
Brittany looked at Alvin, "Your right Alvin. Sorry I wasn't paying attention Jean. Now get out Alvin."
"I feel wounded. Here I am, with an olive branch in hand, and you stab me in the heart."
Eleanor stood up, "I love olives!"
Jeanette took off her glasses and rubbed the bridge of her nose, "Not what he meant Elle."
"Fine. Now what is it you wanted Alvin."
"Actually nothing. Dave told me I should try talking to you instead of just insulting you behind your back."
Brittany rolled her eyes, "Oh yeah. You're doing a great job of making friends. I'll make you a deal Alvin. If Dave asks, I will tell him we had a wonderful conversation about the meaning of life."
"Thanks Brittany!" Alvin shouted as he ran downstairs from the girls' room.
"Now that wasn't so bad was it?" Dave asked.
"Dave!" Brittany yelled from upstairs.
Dave went into the girls' room.
"What is it?"
"Why did Alvin come in here, make fun of us and then run away screaming 'thanks Brittany'?" She asked.
"ALVIN!" Dave shouted coming back down the stairs.
"Britt, that isn't what happened at all?" Eleanor pointed out.
"I know. I'm just keeping myself entertained."
Later that day.
Simon walked into the living room where Alvin was sitting. "Hi Alvin."
"Si! I've been waiting for you."
"I'm not doing it"
"Whatever crazy thing you are planning to do to the girls to get rid of them."
"Oh come on."
"Don't you want to get rid of them?"
"No. I really like spending time with Jeanette."
"Okay then. I didn't want to do this. I'll show everybody at school that note."
Simon stood up. "You wouldn't dare?"
"Oh yes I would. I'm showing everyone the little note you made after that concert at the hotel where we met the Chipettes. 'Oh Jeanette. How I long to spend time with…'"
"You can be the guy at school who is in love with his sister."
Simon dropped his head to the floor. "What do you want to do?"
He pulled out a gold pocket watch. "Just stick this in Eleanor's backpack."
"Why? And you shouldn't have that. Dave told us not to touch his gold watch after we almost lost it… Oh no. You wouldn't?"
"Please rethink this!"
Alvin walked up the stairs. "Okay. You go put this in Eleanor's bag, and I will stay out here."
"What are you doing?"
"I'm going to talk to Dave. He knows you and Theodore wouldn't take it, and he will be with me when he realizes its missing, so he will know the girls did it!"
"I take back the re-think this comment. You never thought this out the first time!"
"Just go you wimp."
Simon walked into the girls' room and put it in her bag.
Later that day.
"Dave?" Eleanor yelled.
"Yes Eleanor!" Dave replied
"Is this your watch?"
Dave went to her room. "Yes it is. Where did you get it?"
"I don't know. It was in here when I found it. Here you go. I really like it by the way. Maybe I'll get one like that someday."
Alvin and Simon snuck up in the bathroom so they could hear what was going on.
"You really like it Elle? Why don't you keep it for a while."
"Oh thank you. You're wonderful!" Eleanor yelled.
Simon growled at Alvin, "Alvin, I was supposed to get that watch for my 16th birthday. Can we just stop this before I lose my entire inheritance?"
"Stop being such a panic. I have another plan."
A few minutes later in the boys' room.
"I won't do it Alvin. This is the stupidest thing you have ever thought of. I've been saving up for that telescope for months."
Alvin rolled his eyes at Simon. "You kidding? This is genius."
"How is shoving my money into Jeanette's desk going to get them to leave. They're making out like bandits. First the watch now my money, they are never going to leave at this rate."
"You just aren't thinking ahead like I am."
Alvin walked to Jeanette's desk put the money in and left.
"Don't worry Si. I shoved it with $50 of hers so you'll end up with the rest of the money you need for that stupid telescope of yours."
"Alvin, you should have…"
"DAVE!" Alvin yelled.
"Counted it." Simon said.
Dave ran up. "What is it Alvin?"
"I saw one of the girls take a bunch of Simon's money into their room."
Dave looked shocked, "That doesn't sound like the girls. I'll check."
Dave walked into the girls' room and saw Brittany and Jeanette. "Did either of you girls take Simon's money?"
Jeanette answered. "No but I did find some money that isn't mine in my desk. Eleanor probably thought it was my birthday money and put it in there. Here you go."
"None of this is yours?" He asked.
"Well I know I had at least $25 in my drawer already. I'm not sure how much I had exactly though."
"Simon get in here!" Dave yelled.
Simon walked in. "Yes Dave?"
"Eleanor accidentally took some of your money and put it in Jeanette's desk. Now I know this isn't all yours, so I'm just going to split it 50/50. How's that?"
"But Dave…" Simon answered.
"That was my telescope money. I had a lot saved up."
"How much?" He asked.
"I don't know exactly." Knowing he couldn't say all but $50!
"Well here is half. You'll have that telescope in no time."
"Fine." Simon looked upset, hoping he didn't lose too much.
"That's $125 each."
Simon went to Alvin, extremely mad.
"Alvin, I'm going to kill you. Run. Now. You won't be alive long."
"What is it Si?"
"He split the money in half and I lost $75!"
"Don't worry about it."
"Oh so you're going to pay me back?"
"No but I have a fool-proof plan to get rid of them."
"Alvin, I can't afford another plan of yours."
"Don't worry. You couldn't possibly lose any money doing this. Besides I already did it and I didn't even involve you."
"Well that's a relief."
Mrs. Seville came down the stairs. "Which one of you boys did this?"
Alvin answered, "Did what, Mrs. Seville?"
"Dump a bucket of worms into the girls' bathroom?"
Simon started to cringe at what was about to happen to Alvin.
"I don't know. Maybe it was the girls."
"Why would they do that?"
"Well Brittany told me this morning that she was going to get me into trouble."
"Well if it was her she did a bad job of doing it, didn't she Simon?"
Simon answered confused, "What do you mean?"
"There was one of your blue sweatshirts covered in mud in the dirty clothes. If she was trying to frame Alvin, I'd say she needs to work harder. Or is there something you would like to confess?"
Mrs. Seville cut him off, "I'm very disappointed in you. I'm not going to tell your father, if you clean it up. However, you aren't getting any of your allowance for two weeks."
She went back into her room.
"Alvin, you have cost me $125 and a gold watch in less than one hour, with nothing to show for it except that I have to clean up thousands of live worms from the girls' bathroom. Please end this."
"Don't worry Si. I'm going to end it."
"This plan is going to…"
"NO." Simon interrupted. "No more plans. Your plans never work. They are ridiculous. We are done."
After Simon finished cleaning up the bathroom, he went into the girls' room to talk to Jeanette.
Brittany growled. "Get out. After you put those disgusting things in my bathroom!"
"I actually came to explain to Jeanette."
"It's okay Brittany. Come on Simon, let's go downstairs and talk."
The two went to the kitchen.
"So what is it Simon?"
"Alvin wanted to get the three of you to move out, so he kept trying really stupid things to get you to move. I didn't do any of it."
"I didn't think you did Simon. Here's your $100 by the way. I only had $25."
"Only $75 of that is mine. There was $50 when we put it in."
"Oh. Thank you for being honest! Did you say you were saving up for a telescope?"
"You're welcome. Yeah I am saving up for one, but thanks to Alvin it will be another month. He made me lose $50 in allowance with that worm stunt and I needed that much to get the telescope I wanted."
"Do you think if I gave you my money towards the telescope, you would let me use it every once in a while. I'm really interested in astronomy?"
"Absolutely! Finally, someone else that understands how interesting the world around us really is!"
She handed him the $50. "So how did Alvin get you involved?"
"That's what I wanted to talk to you about. I wanted to tell you that there might be a rumor going around school tomorrow about us because of Alvin."
"Well after we finished that concert where we all met, I wrote a note that I liked you, and Alvin got it. Now he's threatening to spread it all around the school so that I get teased for having feelings about my sister."
"Let's talk to Brittany, she can help us."
"Really? Is she good at things like this?"
"Yeah, she's always coming up with ways to deal with problems."
"As long as she doesn't try to pull any stupid stunts like Alvin does!" Simon joked.
"Well.. she might. I don't know exactly what she'll come up with." Jeanette answered.
Simon whispered to himself, "Oh great. Two of them."
Jeanette explained the situation to Brittany.
Brittany looked up, "I've got a plan."
Simon looked relieved
"We'll write a note in Alvin's handwriting that talks about how much he loves me. Then we'll show it to him and threaten to spread that around the school unless he gives you your letter back."
Simon shuttered at the thought of a second Alvin in the house. "Brittany, don't you think we should…"
Brittany cut him off, "Don't worry Simon it will work great. I'll write the letter."
You are the most wonderful and gorgeous person on the face of the Earth. Every time I see another girl, I can't stop thinking how ugly she is compared to you…" She continued writing.
Jeanette whispered to Simon, "I'm sorry Simon. I had no idea she'd come up with such a stupid plan. I thought she would just steal the note."
Simon slapped his face. "Come on. Let's go see if we can find it."
The two left as Brittany continued to write her subtle letter to herself, "…I don't know how so much beauty can be packed into such a small figure…"
They walked into the boys' room.
"Now. He threatened to take it to school, which means it is probably in his desk or his backpack, since it would be with things he's taking to school." Jeanette pointed out.
"True." Simon answered, "But he never does his homework, so I doubt anything on his desk is school related. He grabbed Alvin's backpack. Sure enough the note was right on top.
"No problem Simon."
They walked back into the girls' room. "And if I can't kiss you, I'll Die. With all my love, Alvie" Okay, the note is finished.
Jeanette looked at Brittany, "Uh Britt, we already took care of it?"
"What?" Brittany answered.
"We just went and took the note out of his backpack."
"After all the work I did coming up with things he would probably say about me, you guys did it on his own. Well I'm not letting this go to waste. Come on, I have a plan."
Simon looked at Jeanette, "Do you hate the words, 'I have a plan' as much as I do?"
"I'm starting to" Jeanette answered.
"Alvin!" Brittany yelled.
Alvin came down. "What is it Brittany?"
"Unless you go and confess that you were the one who put the worms in our bathroom, Simon is going to go show everyone at school this love note you wrote about me."
Alvin looked concerned, "How did you find that!"
Jeanette started laughing.
Simon looked up, "Actually we didn't. Brittany wrote this one herself."
Alvin shook his head in disbelief.
"You wrote a note about me." Brittany said as she ran up the stairs into the boys' room.
Brittany ran in and locked the door and searched until she found the note and came out.
"Oh now this is really a whopper. Listen to this Jeanette, 'Before I saw you, I hadn't seen a real beauty in my life. I wish I could be with you for all my days. I love you Brittany. –Alvin'"
Alvin ran towards her. "Give me that note Brittany. Please!"
"Say you love me and I'll give it to you!"
"Yuck no way. Just hand it over."
Dave walked in, "Hi everyone, I'm home. Did you guys have a nice walk?"
Alvin looked confused, "What do you mean?"
"When you walked to pick up Eleanor and Theodore from cooking class this afternoon like I asked you this morning."
"Oh yeah Dave. It was wonderful. In fact we're going for another walk right now."
They all ran out the door.
"I can't believe you forgot about my sister!" Brittany yelled.
"And our brother!" Simon added.
"Don't worry guys, they are probably still at the cooking school. It's only been 7 hours."
The four ran to the school.
"Great. It's locked and nobody is here. What are we supposed to do?"
"We'll just have to start looking. We'll check every street from here to home."
The four looked around for 3 hours, and never saw a trace of them.
"Alvin. I'm worried about Ellie. What do we do?" Brittany asked Alvin.
"Let's go home. Maybe they walked there. If not, we'll have to tell Dave what you did."
"What I did?"
"I mean we."
"We?" Brittany asked.
"Fine. What I did."
"I just hope they are okay." Brittany hugged Alvin.
"I know Britt. I know."
"Thank you Alvin. You aren't that bad of a brother."
"And you aren't that bad of a sister. Come on, let's find our family."
The four of them went home. "Eleanor? Theodore?" Nobody responded.
Dave came down, "What are you calling them for? Aren't they with you?"
"We never… I mean I never exactly remembered to pick them up."
"How could you. Where are they now? Do you even know?" Dave yelled running to the phone to call the police.
Just then the phone rang.
Dave answered the phone.
"Oh hi honey, I can't talk right now."
"Okay, I just wanted to let you know we would be home in a little bit."
"Okay, I have to go….did you say we?
"Yes, me Eleanor and Theodore"
"They are with you?"
"Yes. When Alvin didn't pick them up, and you didn't answer your phone, Eleanor called me."
"Oh. Okay then. Bye."
"Well Alvin, they are safe, but if you ever forget about your siblings again…"
"Don't worry Dave, I learned my lesson."
"By the way Alvin, how are things going between you and Brittany?"
Alvin answered, "Actually Dave, I think I can get used to the idea of having sisters."