The Adventures of Chibi-Ranma (And Chibi-Ryouga)
by Louise McCrowe
They fight. And fight.
And fight fight fight fight fight.
Fight fight fight, fight fight fight!
The Chibi Ranma 'n' Ryouga show!
Chibi Ranma was sitting on a pillow, that, in turn, was on the ground. He was rocking back and forth, his eyes wide open.
"This can't be happening. This can't be happening. This can't be happening."
Chibi Ryouga was pounding into some sand that used to be cinderblocks, also stuck in a trance.
Kasumi walked into the living room, tray on hand, and placed it on the dinner table.
"Chibis, I thought you might want a snack. I hope you like it." Kasumi placed two plates on adjacent places and started filling them up with some food.
"Thanks Kasumi, but I'm not hungry..." replied a weary-eyed Ranma.
"Yeah," said Ryouga, pausing from his pounding. Then again, the world was a dark and hungry place...
"Hey! Get your grubby little hands away from that twinkie!"
"Back off *munch* Ranma. You said you weren't hungry," said Ryouga while stuffing his face with his grubby little hands.
Ranma tried to approach the food, but Ryouga whapped him on the cheeks with his thirteen inch sausage.
Ranma tried to throw a Mouko Takabisha, but with an inch-long penis (stretched), it was hard to muster up a whole lot of confidence. So, Ranma ended up perched atop Ryouga's head, frantically grabbing the food while, at the same time, doing his best to stop Ryouga from ingesting the limited supply of food. Quickly, they finished the snacks.
"This can't be happening. This can't be happening. This can't be happening..."
"You know, I'm pretty impressed at how well they are handling this," commented Nabiki, sipping some tea.
"Yes, Ranma is usually a lot more distressed than this when he finds himself stuck in a form," Kasumi remarked.
"So, how old are they now? Eight?" Nabiki asked.
"No, the mushrooms were more like five centimeters. Maybe five and a half." Akane took a sip of tea, and let out a sigh. The girls were in the kitchen, Nabiki resting against the refrigerator, while Kasumi and Akane were at different sections of the counter, drinking some herbal tea that Kasumi prepared.
"I wonder where we can find some more of those mushrooms..."
"Missing him already, sis?" said Nabiki, grinning slyly.
"What? Me? No, but..."
"It would be a shame if Mrs. Saotome were to never see her son again, though.," said Kasumi, matter-of-factly.
After staying silent for a few moments, Nabiki added, "It could get rid of just about all of his other problems, however. After all, even if he is engaged to half the women in Japan, being five, they would have to be... well, beyond crazy to go through with it. Crazy engouh no authority would consider it legal."
"Ranma probably isn't looking at it like that. If only Ryouga could remmeber where he got those mushrooms..." Akane said.
"If only he hadn't eaten those other mushrooms the man offered, he might have been able to remember!"
"So, why do we have to take this test?"
"W-well, see,"Akane began, awfully uncomfortable, "Principal Kuno, as many of the teachers, while, hmmm, understanding your situation, aren't entirely sure if your intellect hasn't..." she brought her thumb and index finger close together, "well, shrunk along with you."
"Can't we just *show* them we are still as smart as before?"
"Well," she shoved the two packets closer to the infants, "that's kind of the point of this placement test."
"Um, Akane?" Ryouga raised his hand, "Why am I taking this? I don't even go to school."
"Well, since you'll be staying with us until we can get you two back to normal, we thought it would be, well, nicer if you had someplace to be during the day." Someplace where it would be harder for you to wander off, that is.
Ryouga mumbled something, but otherwise made no indication he was going to complain any longer.
"Well, here are the pencils. Ms. Hinako," Akane pointed to the girl currently drawing on the boys, "was kind enough to offer to supervise the test." She stood up, and turned to leave the room.
"Good luck to both of you."
"How could you two possibly score at kindergarden level?" Nabiki asked, perhaps a bit more surprised than she actually should have been.
"Pay up," whispered Kasumi in Nabiki's ear.
"If Ryouga here hadn't tried to cheat off me, I wouldn't have scored so low."
"I was trying to see what you were putting down for 'age'! You were the one who freaked out and grabbed my package!"
Kasumi covered her mouth, apparently to suppress a cough. Nabiki sneaked a peek at Akane, but there was no change on her little sister's expression.
"How could you answer so few questions, though? You two stayed in there for a long time--" began Akane.
"Ms. Hinako. She...well..."
"She thought we were being too disruptive, and used her coin thingy on us. All the time.
"Happo 10 yen satsu."
"Yeah..." Ryouga got a strange look on his face, "it wasn't as bad as I'd imagined, though."
Kasumi looked painfully at the huge stains on Ryouga's pants and shirt. The longer he kept those clothes on, the harder it would be to get the stains out.
"So, now what?"
"Now, we go shopping for school supplies," commented Nabiki.
"Class, we have two new students joining us today, Ryo and Ran," the teacher said. Ryouga and Ranma were registered under different names to avoid suspicion, and most importantly, embarrassment.
There were a few snickers and giggles from the classmates, but most showed the usual (dis)interest for the extremely embarassed boys.
The teacher motioned them to take their seats, and Ranma quickly grabbed Ryouga by the sleeve of his shirt, as he was already heading off to the exit.
Ranma wasn't entirely sure just how accidental that truly was.
"Hi!" a pretty little pink-haired girl said to the two Chibis.
"Uh, hello," replied Ranma, feeling somewhat odd about this girl.
"You two are new, right? I haven't seen you in the playground before."
"Yeah, it's our first day," Ranma glanced at Ryouga, crouched down, doodling on the sand with his finger. Ranma really hoped Ryouga would do someting other than mumble something that sounded like "Doom, doom..."
Ranma's attention was again shifted to the pink-haired girl, who was now staring intently at them. He wasn't very comfortable with that girl. For one, why was she speaking to them? Ranma could see a small group of girls huddled together, obviously observing the conversation. He didn't know very well how five yeard olds acted, but he was pretty sure she should be staying away also. For some strange reason, Ranma kept thinking this girl was supposed to be a lot older than five.
"Well?" asked Ranma, tired of the girl's staring.
"You're a boy, right?"
"Sometimes," Ranma half-heard Ryouga mumble.
Ranma took a deep breath. "Yes, I am."
"Boys don't use pigtails."
"Yes, they do! Very manly boys, too!"
Ryouga snorted, but quickly regained his composure, as cackling would destroy the brooding image he was working so hard to get right now.
"No, they don't. Girls wear pigtails, and ponytails," she tugged at her pair for emphasis, "and long hair, and hairbands."
"Yes they--" Ranma stopped when he realized what he was doing. He exhaled, and just turned away, to join Ryouga in his depression.
The girl got a little closer, and walked around the pair of boys so that she could face them.
"Are you sad?"
"You shouldn't be. Is it because of what I said?"
"I'm Chibi-Usa. Sorry about that."
The boys looked up at her.
"And I'm Chibi-Ran."
Chibi-Usa stood silent for just a moment before running away, bawling.
"... And then they made fun of my name!" she sobbed to the teacher.
"Now, Chibi-Usa, I'm sure they didn't mean to make fun of your ridiculous name."
She sniffed. "You think so?"
"Oh, yeah," the teacher replied, his bangs falling over his face. "See, a few of you are cursed with stupid hair, crokked teeth, flabby bodies, a few of you will be teased incessantly for the next decade or so for your gender confused manners, or by your lack of physical beauty. Heck, lack of even physical plainness, most of you will grow up to be total eyesores. You have to understand this now, before something really embarrassing were to happen: You have such a stupid name that people won't even realize they are being mean; it's instinctual. It's like..." he looked around, as if for inspiration. "It's like a puppy, when it comes at you with those large eyes, wagging its tail, you feel the need to kick it. It's not bad, or dirty, to have these feelings. There's not a lot you can do to stop yourself."
He patted Chibi-Usa on the head, and declared, "so, don't feel too bad. They were just following their nature."
Chibi-Usa let out a sniffle, but seemed otherwise appeased.
"Now, kids, let's see what you did," the teacher proclaimed. "Yakoto?"
A little girl with short black hair stood up and presented the teacher with her drawing.
"A crappy drawing of something that could just as easily be a dog as a cot. Beautiful."
"Horsey!" she exclaimed before sitting back down.
Another kid, just as short as the rest of them, lifted a maccaroni picture.
"W-What? Godamit, no! You do not make a maccaroni picture of the last supper at a shinto kindergarden!"
After throwing the maccaroni picture into the bonfire, he continued, "Ran?"
Ran lifted his drawing: A badly drawn stick figure of a boy beating the crap of a black piglet, with arrows and words like "kill", "black piglet", and "crap" to help illustrate everything.
"Very good! Cute little piglets aren't good for much else other than releasing your natural urges." He looked at Chibi-Usa. "Always remember that. Ryo?"
Ryo lifted his picture, a boy drawn half-decently, with flowers and sparkles around him, beating a red-haired stick figure of a girl, with another girl, this one with short, black hair, standing besides him, cheering him on.
"Now, see, if that other girl weren't so obviously happy at the boy beating up that red-haired bitch, this would be unsettling. I am distressed, however, at the lack of tentacles from the picture." Ignoring the two now brawling infants, the teacher moved on. "Moving on. Yamamoto?"
The rain pattered against the window, a droning, soft sound. There was a full moon in the sky, and it bathed the room in an eerie, pale blue light.
The girl sleeping on the bed looked like a ghost, her skin slightly illuminated, her image fading into the objects surrounding her. She was laying face up, the blanket and covers slightly jumbled, her young nubile breasts, enclosed by her pajamas, rising and falling in a slow, rythmic motion.
A small figure, which looked like a five-year old hugging a pillow, walked closer to the girl, and as lightning flashed, it was revealed to be a five-year old boy hugging a pillow. The girl stirred a bit, and the boy tiptoed closer.
"A-Akane?" the boy said, in a timid voice.
Akane shuffled around, her pajame-clad leg dropping off the bed, her breasts getting closer together, generating a nice amount of cleavage that couldn't really be seen. Very slowly, she woke up.
"Wha... Ryouga? What are you doing here?" she asked, bleary-eyed.
"I'm scared of the thunder," Ryouga winced as a thunderclap was heard, for emphasis. "Can I sleep here with you?"
"Ryouga..." Akane's face was filled with compassion.
Such compassion was not reflected on the mallet that Ryouga narrowly avoided.
"The nerve!" shouted Ranma, wielding a wooden mallet about twice his size. "You have no problem finding your way to *Akane's* room, do you?"
"Ranma, what are you doing in my room?"
"Go away, Ranma. This doesn't concern you!"
"And you!" he pointed the mallet at Akane, who was holding her already-not-revealing pajamas even more closed with her right hand. "You were going to let him sleep here, weren't you?"
"Ranma, what's the matter with you? He's just a four-year old!"
"Five," Ryouga corrected her.
"Whatever. You had no problem with us sleeping together when you were in your girl form, did you? If the body makes a difference, how can letting Ryouga, who at this point probably can't get it any harder than a limp noodle, no offense Ryouga," Ryouga shrugged it off "sleep here when he's so frightened *be* such a big deal?"
"Well, that's different," Ranma stuttered, "It's not like I care or anything, but, do you really want to be known as easy?"
Ranma wasn't able to figure out what he had said that had made Akane so angry before he was flung out of her room into the ever-convenient koy pond on the yard below.
Akane briskly took Ryouga by the hand, drew the covers back, and guided him in. Ryouga relished his bittersweet victory, as he knew she'd beat him up in her sleep even more now that she was angry.
"Ok, on the count of three, we go," whispered Ranma, sitting inconspicuously on a branch, surrounded by heavy foliage.
"Fine," whispered back Ryouga, also hidden among the leaves.
"Ready? One... Two--"
"No! Wait!" whispered Ryouga, suddenly.
"What's the matter?"
"Is it one, two, three, THEN go, or one, two, and go on three?"
Ranma looked at Ryouga with an unfathomable expression. "I thought we would do one, two, three, then go."
"How much time between three and go, though. I mean, if --"
"Fine, fine, then we do one, two, and go on three."
"Ok, let's do it."
"One-- oh, forget it, he's gone already."
Ranma and Ryouga watched as Mousse got farther and farther away, out of range of the water balloons.
"Good going, piggie."
"If you were clear to start with, we'd have nailed him!"
Just as another discussion was about to start, Nabiki walked past the tree, and noticed the pair of infants.
"Ranma? Ryouga?" she asked, cocking an eyebrow, "what are you doing, sitting in a tree?"
They looked at her, in silence for a moment.
Nabiki clasped her hands behind her back and put on the cutest face she could, and started, in a sing-song voice, "K-I-S..."
Fanfiction.net seems to really hate my files. Trying to send it straight in HTML to see if THIS works.
Ahhhh.... I could just go on and on and on... I most likely will, this was a fun piece to write. Now, I know there are a few inconsistencies, and loose knots (no duh), such as Chibi-Usa not being kindergarden age, and all of that, but in this piece she IS kindergarden age, and you know what? I don't care if she was eight or nine when she first arrived in this time, or even if Japanese kindergardens don't exist/are different from what I described. Also, please, no one e-mail me saying that Chibis isn't a word.
I THINK I'm the first to do Chibi-Ranma and Chibi-Ryouga adventures (a search for Chibi and Ranma/Ryouga turned up nothing, except a few R.5/SM X-overs that were talking about Usa), but if anyone else has already done it, I apologize.
I know I ended it a bit abruptly, but come on, they're vignettes, nothing more. I'm thinking I'll definitely add to this over time, so stay tuned for The Adventures of Chibi Ranma (And Chibi-Ryouga): King of Playground City.
PS: C&C is welcome.