A/N: Last time, the gang's attempt to rid themselves of Penelope backfired and now she's even more determined to have Tony as her boyfriend. What will they do now? And what's up with the papers Dash and Brad stole from Jimmy? Find out now!
Publicity Romance and Phobia Report: Part 2
Three days later, on Friday, the students were in History/Geography class wrapping up another lesson with Lou.
"And that's why the industrialization and urbanization of South Korea have brought many changes to the way the Korean people live today," Lou informed the class. The bell rang and the students packed and gathered their things to leave.
"Class, for those of you who haven't turned in your term papers on the Korean war yet, please leave them on my desk," he instructed them.
"No worries about us, Mr. Pickles," Brad said smugly.
"Yeah, we turned our papers in yesterday," Dash chipped in. The two, while successful in stealing Jimmy's papers, decided to wait several days before turning them in so as to avoid suspicion from Mr. Pickles about their plagiarism.
"Yeah, about that, um, the school guidance counselor wants to see you both about that immediately," Lou informed the boys.
"Uh, why's that?" Dash asked, confused and nervous.
"She has some concerns about your papers."
"What sort of concerns?" Brad asked, also confused and nervous.
"You'll find out when you get there," Lou said as he wrote them each a pass. "So off you to go."
The two left the classroom wondering what the counselor wanted with them.
A few minutes later, they entered the counselor, Dr. Phyllis Fancyfree's, office.
"Uh, you wanted to see us, Doc?" Brad asked.
"Yes, boys. Have a seat," she told them as they each sat in a chair.
"What's this about?" Dash asked.
"Boys, I'd like to talk to you about your recent essays."
"Yeah, they were pretty impressive if I do say so myself."
"So you want to discuss how we did them?" Brad asked.
"Actually, I wanted to discuss a couple of certain paragraphs, with you both," Dr. Fancyfree told them. "Particularly these paragraphs you made about your fears of building blocks and oranges."
"HUH?!" the boys ask in confusion about this.
At the cafeteria of ToonSchool, the gang and Charity are still shocked upon their plan failed.
"I can't believe it! Everyone is still thinking that I'm crazy about Penelope!" Tony said in dismay.
"Plus, they also thought that you're a biggest nerd who like nerdy sci-fi and stuff," Bloo added.
"Thanks for the help, Bloo. Really appreciate it," he said in sarcasm. "Now what?"
"I don't know. Although she is still clueless, she somehow outsmarted me," Daryl said. "I'm more stumped as you are, guys."
"That's simple," Blossom said. "Just get them to talk about something else."
"What do you mean, Blossom?" Lilo asked.
"I think what she's trying to say is," Mac said, "that the best way to stop one rumor–"
"Is to start another," Tommy put in as everyone's faces lit up. "Nice idea, you two."
"Yeah," June says. "You two are geniuses. Not as big as Jimmy, but…you know."
"Well, as reporters-in-training for of the school's broadcasting class and News Report, we've picked up a few things about gossiping," Blossom said.
"Well where did we go wrong?" Ash asked.
"Well, you tried getting rid of Penelope by making yourself less attractive, right?"
"Yeah, and?" Tony asked.
"There is no way to truly make you unattractive."
"Told you," he told Daryl. "So what do we do?"
"We need to make everyone believe that you've found somebody even more attractive than Penelope," Mac said.
"Yeah, heck I can see the headlines now," Danny said. "CLARK DUMPS LANG FOR MYSTERY GIRL."
"Well, you're gonna need pics," Charity said.
"And a mystery girl to boot," Jake said. "Where are we gonna get those?"
Everybody stared at Charity, who realized that she was the mystery girl.
"Alright, I'd be glad to do it."
Shortly afterwards, Tony was sitting with Charity at a table outside, as Tommy snapped pictures of them. Charity had on sunglasses and a scarf to hide her identity.
"Okay, now take her hand," Blossom who was also there, instructed. Tony did, but only gripped her finger tips out of uncertainty.
"Now what?" Tony asked. Blossom sighed as she forced Tony to hold her whole hand.
"Hold it. And look at her like your in love."
Tony tried to do so, but could only grimace, due to the camera and other people being there.
"Is that your in-love face, or did you eat a bad burrito?" she asked.
"Sorry, not so good at doing this in front of the camera," he replied.
"Okay, let's move on," Blossom said.
Next, the two were in winter clothes and wearing skis, with a mountain background behind them and fake snow being blown in by Danny, Bart and Lilo.
"Okay, you're skiing down the big mountain, smiling, wind in your face," she instructed. "Okay now skid to a stop."
Tony and Charity acted out themselves skidding to a stop on their fake ski run.
"Now turn to each other and give a big hug."
Tony and Charity tried to hug as Tommy kept taking pictures but found it somewhat difficult with all the ski stuff they had.
"Come on you guys you're getting tangled up there," Blossom told them.
Next, Tony and Charity were sitting on towels in summer-like clothing with a park-like background behind them.
"Good, now gaze into each others' eyes," Blossom instructed them.
Tony and Charity did just that.
"And closer. Closer. Closer. Closer."
They continued to inch closer to each other as Blossom told them to.
"Okay, now kiss her Tony."
"I'm done," the two said in unison as they walked off the set, much to Blossom's dismay.
At the hallways, Jimmy was just about to open his locker when Brad quickly grabs him by his collar as Dash demands, "Neutron, what's the meaning of this?"
"The meaning of what?" Jimmy asked confused. Suddenly Bubbles, Jake, and Timmy rushed up to them.
"Hey, what's the big idea?" Timmy shouted angrily.
"Put him down, you knuckleheads," Jake said, shoving Brad away.
"Why don't you go pick on somebody your own size?" Bubbles scolded.
"Well thanks to Nerdtron here, the school counselor thinks we have these irrational fears of building blocks and oranges," Brad growled.
"Building blocks and oranges?" Jimmy said before he realized what they meant and smirked. "You broke into my archives and stole my papers on Kim Il-sung and the Armistice, didn't you?"
"Yeah, how'd you guess?" Dash said.
"You fell for my old Chekov's paragraph trick."
"What paragraph trick?" Bubbles asked in confusion.
"Yeah I don't get it either, Jimmy," Jake said.
"Well, as everyone knows I'm one of the smartest–if not the smartest–students in the entire school, everyone knows about my archives of old papers," Jimmy explained. "And a lot of people would be very tempted to break into them and steal them. So before I enter my papers into the archive, I insert an additional paragraph about something bizarre to teach plagiarizers a lesson."
"Wow, that's clever, Jimmy," Timmy said, as he, Jake and Bubbles looked on in awe.
"Yeah, well now Dr. Fancyfree is now trying to get us to sign up for therapy now," Brad informed them.
"Well you could just admit that you cheated and take your punishment like men," Jimmy suggested.
"No way, what do you think we are stupid?"
"Yes," the four students said in unison.
"Yeah, we're just gonna pretend that we have these fears, get through the sessions, and it'll be over in a few days," Dash said.
"I dunno, word is Dr. Fancyfree has some extreme and unusual methods for helping her patients nowadays," Timmy said.
"Please we can take anything she throws at us," Brad said smugly as the two jocks walked off.
Later on, the gang was gathered near their lockers, waiting for someone.
"So you think this new idea is gonna work?" Charity asked.
"I hope so," Tony said. Suddenly, Blossom came zooming in with a laptop in hand.
"Guys, guys," she said as the gang crowded around her. "The Toon Inquirer posted the article I sent, pics and all! Look!"
The gang all took a look at her computer, as Danny read the article, "YO-YO BOY DITCHES LANG, WALKS THE DOG WITH MYSTERY MIDDLE CLASS WANNABE."
"Middle-class wannabe?!" Charity gasped, feeling insulted.
"Sorry, had to spice it up, these are tabloids you know," Blossom explained. "Besides no one will know it's you."
"Ah, the middle-class wannabe," Penelope's voice said. The gang then turned to see her with Terry and Karl.
"Except her," Buttercup said.
Now really ticked off by Penelope, Charity confronts her and says, "Look, Ms. Rumor-and-Lies-a-Lot! Although I'm new to this school, I still think that you can't force Tony into your gossip boyfriend!"
"Yeah, as long as he's the talk of the town, I WILL be the talk of the town with him," Penolope said in a snobbish tone.
"By using him as an accessory into your "My Boyfriend" lies? No wonder why he doesn't like you, he should have been liking me! I mean, his friends!"
"Oh yeah, what makes you so sure of that?"
"Well I bet if the press asked you, you couldn't name three things you love about Tony."
"Easy, his fame, fortune, and fans!"
"All of which are superficial. They'll see right through you as the gold digger you are."
"Well what would you say, Ms. Know-It-All?"
"I would say true, real things about him. Like…how he slicks his hair back when he tries to make an impression. And how he drums his fingers when he's nervous. And how he's… selfless, brave, and kind toward everyone, especially with his friends and family, and wouldn't ever hesitate to lift a finger to do something for them."
The gang was awed and impressed. Never before had they ever heard a girl say such nice things about Tony!
"Wow," Tony said. "That's pretty deep, Char."
"Because it's the truth, Tony," Charity replied.
"Please, the press aren't going for the mushy-gushy truth," Penelope snorted. "They want a spiced up love triangle like ours."
"There is no love triangle between us, and never will be," Tony snapped at her. "So please leave me alone, I'm begging you."
"You really shouldn't beg, Tony. It's not pretty."
"I'll tell you what else isn't pretty," a voice said. Everyone turned around to see Bart's sister Lisa holding an enlarged photo that was turned away from everyone. Penelope, Terry and Karl, along with everyone else approached her.
"And just who are you?" Penelope said.
"Lisa Simpson, co-head editor of the school paper, VP of the Toonsters' fan club, and as of today, the owner of a very rare Penelope Lang picture. Or as I think you were called in the 3rd grade… Pee-Pee Lang!"
She then showed the photo to everyone: It was a younger Penelope with glasses, a white shirt and pink pants with a wet stain in the groin area which she was trying to cover with her hands. She had apparently wet her pants for some reason and was crying over it. Penelope gasped in horror upon seeing the old photo of her.
"The Pee-Pee Lang photo from 3rd grade? Where did you get THAT!"
"The newest fan club member," Lisa said as she pointed in one direction to the person, who turned out to be…
"Chaz?! My own brother?!" Penelope gasped ash Chaz waved at her.
"Chaz, how could you?" Penelope asked.
"Because, what your doing is totally wrong and you know it," Chaz said. "Then again you've never had much sense of right and wrong anyhow."
"But that photo…you had to used that one? It's so embarrassing!"
"Well embarrassed is as embarrassed does, sis."
"You got that right," Lisa said. "And I think the only thing that would prevent the public from getting ahold of this photo is an article like, CLARK AND LANG HIT SPLITSVILE!"
"So what do you say," Danny asked. "Will it be Tony or your reputation? Can only have one, after all."
Penelope growled furiously as she stomped her feet in anger.
"Fine!" she snapped. "Terry, Karl, let's vamoose!"
The three of them walked off, leaving the kids alone. Once she was out of earshot, they all burst into celebration at finally seeing Penelope's defeat.
"Great job, Lis," Bart tanked his sister. "You got rid of her for us."
"Yeah, thanks," Daryl said.
"It wasn't just me," Lisa told them. "Chaz helped too."
"Well thank you too, Chaz," Ash said.
"We couldn't have done it without you," June added.
"No problem, happy to help," Chaz said as he started leave. "I got go. Can't wait to tell Betty about this!"
As Chaz left, Tony turned towards Charity.
"So Charity," he asked. "Now that that's over, I've been meaning to ask you, will you…um…uh…will you…well…um…"
"Yes, I will go out with you, Tony Clark," she said, much to his delight. The gang looked on impressed that Tony had his true girl at last.
In Dr. Fancyfree's office, Dash and Brad were with the counselor, discussing their "fears". The two had decided to play along with their "phobias" rather than come clean about their plagiarism.
"It's just whenever I see building blocks, I just feel like they gonna pile up and then fall on top of me, and I just wanna knock them down before they do," Dash said, acting scared.
"And I keep having these horrible nightmares about giant oranges rolling me over and flattening me, and I just wanna squeeze the juice out of them," Brad put in, also feigning his fear.
"Well you'll have the chance to do just that, boys," Dr. Fancyfree said.
"Really, how?!" both boys said, pretending to be excited.
"By wrestling them head on," Dr. Fancyfree said as two large burly men wearing costumes (one as a building block and another as an orange). The boys suddenly looked on in fear.
"What's with them?" Dash asked, in terror.
"They're wrestlers and you're gonna wrestle them, in the gym, right now," Dr. Fancyfree said. "Gino, Kip, escort these boys to the gym."
Dash and Brad screamed and ran out of Dr. Fancyfree's office, with the wrestlers in hot pursuit. They all ran rapidly through the halls, dodging obstacles, nearly plowing through students, and nearly running into VP Prickley, who routinely shouted, "Hey, no running in the halls!"
Finally, the boys came across Jimmy and grabbed onto his shirt, begging on their knees for his help.
"Neutron, you gotta help us," Dash begged. "Dr. Fancyfree's got two costumed wrestler dudes dressed in our fake fears after us."
"And they're gonna pound us into a pulp, if you don't help," Brad pleaded.
"Sorry but I don't help plagiarizers, cheaters or liars," Jimmy said with a smirk as the wrestlers came through the hallway, spotted the boys and came straight at them.
"Please you gotta do something, we don't wanna die!"
"Only if you admit to Dr. Fancyfree and Mr. Pickles that you stole my papers."
"Fine, just stop them," Dash said. Jimmy then stuck his hand out and stopped the two wrestlers, before they could reach the cowardly jocks. Lou exited a nearby room to see what all the ruckus was about.
"What's going on?" he asked.
"These two have something to tell you guys," Jimmy said as the jocks stood up.
"Yeah, about those papers," Dash said. "We stole them from Jimmy's private archives. And we faked having those fake fears to stay of trouble"
"We just wanted to stay on the football team and out of summer school," Brad said.
"Well I have to say..." Lou began. "It's about time you two came for the with the truth."
The jocks looked on confused as Dr. Fancyfree walked up to the group.
"Wait, you knew?" they both said.
"Of course," Lou told them. "Jimmy told me all about his anti-cheater tactic. When I saw that paper and those crazy paragraphs about those fears, I knew they were his."
"So we, with Dr. Fancyfree's assistance, came up with this plan to get you to tell the truth," Jimmy put in.
"And thanks to my friends here, it clearly worked," Dr. Fancyfree said.
"Wow, we got totally flimflammed," Dash said, shocked at being fooled.
"Well, I guess there's no need for us to be punished, or our parents to know this now, right?" Brad asked hopefully.
"Wrong, boys," Lou said sternly. The boys gulped in fear at this.
Dash and Brad soon found themselves in the detention room, surrounded by books, and being watched over by Mr. Crocker. In addition to notifying their respective parents Lou had sentenced them to detention and was forced them each write and hand in an authentic Korean war paper by Saturday morning.
"This sucks," Dash groaned. "My dad's gonna kill me."
"Mine too," Brad agreed. "Well at least it couldn't get worse."
"NO TALKING IN DETENTION!" Crocker screamed. "THAT'S ANOTHER DAY FOR BOTH OF YOU!"
Dash and Brad could only groan at their miserable luck as of late.
At the Breezy House of Paris, Tony and Charity are escorted to their table by a maître d'. After the whole Penelope incident is done, June and Blossom managed to find them reservations to that restaurant and promised to let them go alone, without the gang so they can have their first date.
"You feeling nervous, Charity?" Tony said as he sheepishly checks his tuxedo.
"I was supposed to ask you that," Charity said in her purple dress. "Your hands are shaking like you're freezing or something."
"It's just... I never dated a girl who likes my pros and cons," he sheepishly explained. "And one of those cons that I run away from girls I dated before."
"Hey, you didn't run from me, didn't you? My ability to see aura is still rusty, but I can see you really like, like me."
"You think I really felt that to you?"
"Hey, I'm feeling the same way as you."
As they stare each other in lovestruck, a familiar imaginary friend interferes this moment as he asks, "Hey, Charity! Is Tony is your first or second boyfriend? Do you have sisters? Or maybe an available cousin? What are the girls in New York like?"
Now quickly annoyed, instead of using his gadgets this time, he instead does a surprising trick: touching Bloo's head with four fingers and said, "You will leave this restaurant and return home and not bother us again tonight."
Bloo suddenly froze up and his eyes turned dark purple.
"Yes, I will leave this restaurant and return home and not bother you again tonight."
With that, Bloo, obeying Tony's command walked out of the restaurant, stunning Charity.
Seeing a surprised Charity, he quickly explained in a casual tone, "I kinda sort of became like you when I finally met Daryl and become my stepbrother."
"Wow. No wonder there's another thing I like about you," Charity said in an impressed tone.
They then happily chuckled as the waiter arrived to take their order. Despite his friend's annoying surprise interruption, Tony is really happy that everything turned out alright. And because of that, he has gained a new girlfriend and a new classmate of ToonSchool.
A/N: Excellent! Penelope's history, Dash and Brad are in trouble, and Tony and Charity have finally hooked up! What a sweet ending! But the return of ToonSchool is just getting started. Stay tuned for more!