Title: Game of Emotion Chapter 1: Sub rosa (1/?)
Working Title: girl on wall
Author and vB Username: Jaya
Distribution: ask and I will let you...maybe
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and
owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to
Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros.,
Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is
Feedback: is the foundation of my universe.
At: jacey111@yahoo.com
Beta'd by: Jeanna! Yay!
Summary: Insecure! and Bitchy! Pansy. Playful! and Angry! Harry. When you
find someone has been watching you from on top of a wall, what do you do?
What do you say? Emotions is a fun game to play.
Ships: *cough* Pansy/Harry *cough*
Character(s): Pansy, Harry, Ron.
Archived at: FF.net, the Astronomy Tower; Fiction alley
Note: Just don't ask about the pairing. I didn't know who the girl was until
halfway through the story. And it took me a while to decide that the guy was
Started/Finished: 6th May 2002 / 7th May 2002
Dedication: To my girls in the Society for Misunderstood Slytherins.
Claimer: This fanfiction is a work by me. Anyone who takes my work without
asking, or claiming it as their own will be in a lot of trouble.

Chapter 1: Sub rosa

She watched the boys from her perch on top of the wall, a dark cloak covering
her from sight. They were leaving again, probably sneaking off to have
an adventure.

'Why doesn't anyone ever bring me on things like that?' She wondered,
fingering the hood that was pulled down over her hair.

She'd been watching them sneak out for years now. No one ever bothered to
look up when making sure no one else was around. Of course, it seemed like
no one really bothered with her anyway.

She was young, and pretty. She was however, a girl, and that made her less
attractive as friend material.

Traditional families stank. It always seemed that there was some protocol or
other that had to be observed and adhered to, never seemed that she could
really do anything of her own perogative.

Sometimes, the boys would take the girl with them. The great Hermione
Granger. Most intelligent of all at Hogwarts. Know-it-all supreme.


'What does she have that I don't?' She thought furiously, kicking her legs a
bit against the wall, careful not to lose her balance. 'Sure Granger's gotten
prettier over the past few years, but they aren't friends with her because of
that. I'M not exactly a hag either!' She frowned, and let out an inaudible
sigh of frustration.

It was hard to be everything people wanted you to be. Sure she was pretty,
and had a caring elder brother, but sometimes she just felt.... stifled.

People at Hogwarts really did not expect much of her. Just expected her to be
beautiful, and to get good grades, to be very bitchy, and nothing else. When
she went home on the holidays, her mother always went over the lists of
eligible young men with her. Sure, it had been fun when she was a third
year. Spending time thinking of this or that handsome young man she could
marry. But, sometimes it was just... frustrating.

'And no one can see, no one can see what I go through. No one can be, no one
can be what I feel.'

She was not in any way neglected. Her parents loved and were proud of her and
her siblings.

'But is it so wrong of me to want more?'

Her hands beat out a steady rhythm against the rocks. Tap-tap-tap-tap.
Tap-tap-tap-tap. A constant tattoo in time with her conflicting thoughts.

'Will I ever be good enough?' Tap-tap-tap-tap. 'Ever find someone to love?'
Tap-tap-tap-tt. Her hands ceased. Someone else was out there, someone could
have heard her.

What if it was a teacher? Her parents would be furious if she were caught not
only out of bed, but outside the castle to boot.

Panic/Anger/Fear, her thoughts began to tumble over and over.

'Will I be expelled? Mother and Father will be so angry. Who is it? Who is
it? Oh God! Who on Earth is it?' She trembled, and had to hold onto the wall
to keep from falling over. Falling from this height would kill her for sure.

'Is it me? Is it you? Should I say what I feel? Know what is real? I can't go
on the way I'm living.'

Why was it taking so long? She scrunched her eyes shut as the sound got
closer. Then she realised, the footsteps had stopped.

'For I am, another girl who dreamed of things she wanted. I am, a girl who
wanted everything she hoped for, then she was let down. Look down.'

She opened her eyes and peered past her hood. Her eyes met green eyes. She
trembled. Harry.

Oh by all the Gods and Goddesses, it was him. What would she do? What would
she say? He wouldn't take kindly to her watching him, she just knew it!

"Who are you?" Harry called up to the figure.

She was scared, and didn't know whether to answer him. But why was he back?


Harry had had a strange feeling as he and Ron had been leaving Hogwarts
grounds. Normally, they would have used the passage inside the humpbacked
witch, but Filch had discovered it, and had been guarding it for the last six

It felt like eyes, like someone was watching them walk. But that could not
be right. After all, Filch was inside, as was his blasted cat. None of the
teachers would be outside, so... what did that leave? Soon the feeling

Harry turned to his friend. "Ron, I uh, dropped something. You go on ahead,
I'll catch up."

Although Ron protested that he would stay, Harry sent him on his way with a
"We wouldn't want to miss our reservations, now, would we? I'll see you
later, Ron."

Ron walked off with a glare, and a grudging "I'll be seeing you then."

Harry walked back to where he had first noticed the feeling. He looked around
for any signs of people. Nothing. Well, obviously they weren't on the ground.
So maybe....

He looked up. Sure enough, there was a dark cloaked figure, perched on the
broad expanse of wall.

'No pain, so it's not Voldemort.' he thought, narrowing his eyes.

The figure abruptly looked up and gasped.

'It's a girl.' Harry realised. 'And I guess I'll have to make the first move,
since she doesn't look like she's going to move.' "Who are you?" He called
out clearly, voice carrying slightly on the breeze.

With a slightly shaking hand, the figure slowly pulled the hood back to

"Pansy Parkinson?" Harry exclaimed in shock.


Pansy sniffed, before remembering that She was a Slytherin. He was a
Gryffindor. She was obviously superior! That, and Draco would probably be
very irritated if he ever found out that she'd backed down from Harry, er,
Potter. "What of it?" She asked in a shaky, yet challenging voice.

Harry's shock melted into irritation. "I just wanted to know why you were
spying on us!"

"I wasn't spying." Pansy began haughtily, "It's not my fault if I were
seated on the wall when you suddenly walked past with Weasley." She took
the oportunity to nimbly climb down the wall. "I do not spy on people, Harry
Potter, and you'd better remember it!" Suddenly she turned, and began to
march away from him.

"See that you don't start then!" He called after her, walking off in his own

"Stupid Potter." Pansy muttered as she walked back to the Castle. "Thinks
he's sooo bloody special." She walked inside, and took a secret passage down
to Slytherin Dungeons. 'He is cute though.' Wait, where had that thought come

A secret smile stole over her lips as she glided almost-silently into her
Dorm. Wouldn't everyone just die if they had heard that thought.

She'd show that Harry Potter.

Pansy Parkinson was no one's spy.


Harry seethed all the way to Hogsmeade. Of all the people he had to run into
on his belated birthday celebration, it was Pansy. He let out a sigh before
walking into the Three Broomsticks. Ron, Seamus, Dean and ex-Gryffindor
Oliver Wood were seated around a table near the fire. Hermione had
regretfully declined, saying she "had to meet her Arithmancy Partner." It was
strange how often Hermione met her partner. Maybe she had a boyfriend..no.
She would tell them. Well, him at least. Ron was sometimes a bit...

Drat that Pansy Parkinson for ruining the perfect day. Just because she was
pretty, she thought.... Huh? Since when had he thought that she was pretty?

Suddenly he felt his lips turn upwards into a small smile. Who would have
thought it?

Everyone would just keel over if they had somehow heard his thoughts.

He'd show that Pansy Parkinson.

Harry Potter was not someone to mess with.

Fin Chapter 1.

Second chapter is coming soon.

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