A/N: I am so sorry that I have been neglecting these stories, but I will be posted more frequently now. I hope you enjoy this chapter.
3. We Have a Problem
Dear Lord why did the man have to take his shirt off? Couldn't I write it into his contract that he had to keep his shirt on? It was a hundred degrees and I was out exercising Misty while Edward was fixing the fence. He'd taken his shirt off, and I couldn't help myself. I just stared at him. His chest was glistening with sweat and there was nothing about him that was undesirable. Even Jake wasn't as ripped as he was. I was fucked. I was a married woman looking at another man. I was going to hell for this.
He hadn't been here two weeks, yet I found myself being drawn to him again. Yes, he pissed me off most of the time, but he had this draw on me that I didn't like. I loved my husband, he didn't deserve this. But I would be lying if I said that our sex life hadn't increased because I was trying to chase Edward from my mind. Nothing worked, he was still there. If I was telling the truth, I had never gotten over him. We'd broken up when I'd gotten an offer to study in Spain. I was still in love with him when I met Jake. He was like a tattoo on my heart that I couldn't get rid of.
I still hadn't told Jake our history. It would destroy him. As far as he knew, he was the only man that I had ever loved. I was such a bitch doing this to him. He was he best husband I could ever ask for, but there was a part of me that wondered what it would've been like if Edward and I had gotten married. Would we have made it? Our relationship so much different than the one that I had with Jake, it was like night and day, I was different with both of them.
I met Edward in English freshmen year of high school, I had never seen him before, which didn't make any sense coming from a small town where everyone knew each other, but I had heard of him. He came in wearing that damn leather jacket that I still think would make me weak in the knees, and sat right next to me. I still remember the way he smelled; slightly sweet and spicy.
We were friends for a long time. I watched him be with other girls like Tanya, Lauren, and Kate. I was friend zoned and that's where I thought that I was doomed to stay. Until the day he broke up with Kate. She was the type of girl that you would think that he would go for. She viewed me as competition. I guess that she saw something that I didn't. He came over to my house that night and told me. My heart skipped a beat when he kissed. Our relationship was sold. We would yell, scream, and drive each other crazy. I had all my firsts with him. My love for him consumed me.
Jake on the other hand, was sweet and treated me like I walked on water. We met when I was in Spain. I had dated a few other guys briefly before him. Our relationship didn't evoke all the things in me that my relationship with Edward had. We didn't have the passion that I'd had with him.
The night he told me he loved me I said even though I knew that I didn't mean. Although, I did grow to love him very much, I still shouldn't have said it when I did.
My parents loved him immediately. My father was the hardest one to please and he won him over in one night. That was the night that I knew that I loved him, but was I in love? The last few weeks had me questioning things that before I knew to be complete truth. Why did I let Edward, the man that had broken me, have this effect on me?
I put Misty back in her stall, maybe getting out of the heat would help.
The house quiet. Jake was at the store, so I had the house to myself for a few more hours. I sat on the couch and stared at the wall, just trying to breath.
I was letting my life get screwed up and it stopped here. I loved Jake. I wanted to start a family with him, at least I thought that I did. Stop that! Stop questioning your life just because he's back.
"Bella!" Alice's angry voice reverberated off of the walls. I looked at her, her expression telling me that she was pissed. "I've been calling you for days and you haven't gotten back to me." she stood with her arms crossed over her chest. "And when I called Jessica and she told me that she hadn't heard from you either I got worried."
"I'm sorry, Alice. I've just had a lot of things on my mind." I explained, hoping to appease her. It just seemed to make her even angrier.
"I think I know exactly what's been on your mind and he happens to be mending your fence." she took a seat next to me. "Bella, what are you doing?"
"What do you mean?"
"I can see it all over your face. Your letting yourself fall in love with him again. You have a husband that loves you that would die if he found out."
"I know!" I stood angrily from the couch. "Don't you think I know that! It's killing me that I'm letting my guard down. I hate that I'm doing to him, but I don't know how to stop it. I'm not doing it on purpose."
"Listen to me, Bella." she stood in front of me. "Jake is your husband who last I checked you were very much in love with. Is this still true?"
"Yes," I replied quietly. "Yes, I still love him."
"Good," she nodded. "You have to make a choice. Either let that man," she pointed toward the backyard, "destroy your marriage. Or focus everything you have in you to your marriage with Jake." she was quiet for a second, a look of sadness crossing her face. "I just don't want to see you get hurt again."
"I don't either." she hugged me then, giving me her support.
Jake was home on time tonight. I had his favorite meal, chicken parmigiana, on the table when he got home. I'd lit candles, put a table cloth on, poured wine, and had the lights turned down.
"What's with this?" he asked when he came in.
"I just wanted to show my husband how much I love him," I brought him into a heated kiss. "We should eat before it gets cold. We'll continue this after dinner. It would be a shame for it to go to waste."
After we finished dinner, Jake carried me to our room and made love to me slowly.
The next morning, after seeing Jake off, I went to the barn to put Misty in the pasture like I do every morning. Edward was there, putting hay in the stalls, dirt already covering him, like he had been at it for several hours.
"Hi," I said stopped a few feet away. "How long have you been at it?"
"Before dawn." he answered simply.
"You don't have to do that. We're not up before dawn, so we don't expect you to be."
He looked at me then, his green meeting my brown, "I'll keep that in mind."
I swallowed heavily, the way he was looking at me sent chills down my spine, "Well, I have to put Misty out."
"See you later, Bella."
I turned to go to her stall, but paused, there was something that I needed him to answer.
"Edward," I turned back to him. "Why did you break thing off?" walked closer to him, his back to me, tensed. "We were going to finish college and married. What happened?"
He faced me once again, "When you got that offer to go to Spain, I knew that I was going to hold you back. I didn't want you to not go because of me."
"Why would you think that?"
"You have gone?" he countered.
"No," I answered honestly, "I wouldn't have." we stared at each other for a few moments, the electricity palpable. "I have to... Misty." I stuttered, breaking the connection.
"Right," he shook his head like he was removing fog from it. "See you around, Bella."
I went and let Misty out to pasture. I stood there for a few moments against the fence, getting myself together before I went back into the house.
That night when Jake wanted to take things further, I told him I was tired even though I wasn't. I was thinking about Edward. I really was fucked.