We at CookieLord Factories are pleased to present the first of three new models, the PRINCESS AZULA UNIT! Careful beta testing has ensured she does not kill or enslave you immediately upon awakening! She is also the leader of the set "Ozai's Angels."
PRINCESS AZULA UNIT
Copyright Nickelodeon Studies and CookieLord Factories
A User's Guide
Congratulations, lucky customer! You've just purchased your first PRINCESS AZULA UNIT! If this is not your first UNIT, feel free to skip the following section and move on to TECHNICAL SPECIFICATIONS. However, if you are new to the joys of UNIT ownership, please be sure to take a look, as it may give you important information concerning the basis of UNITs themselves.
Introduction to UNITs
So you've purchased your first UNIT. Congratulations! We hope you will enjoy living with your new housemate for years to come.
Before you read the specifics about your UNIT, we would like to make several facts about them very clear.
Your UNIT is indeed a person, despite your views on cloning, genetic manipulation, artificial intelligence, and any host of other controversial topics. We would like you to keep this in mind while dealing with your UNIT, as they have thoughts, emotions, and dreams just like you. Should you find yourself disagreeing with our claims, please note that mistreatment of your UNIT can and will result in legal action, either on the UNIT's part or ours.
It is likely that your UNIT is underage. Should you yourself be underage, there is no problem with the two of you carrying on a romantic relationship, if you so desire. However, if your UNIT is not of the legal age of consent for your country while you are considered an adult, or vice versa, you or your UNIT may be arrested for statutory rape. We at [CookieLord Factories] cannot be held accountable for any illegal actions committed by a UNIT or the owner of a UNIT.
This manual may not contain all the answers to your questions. If this is the case, please contact a company representative and present your question or issue. We will answer your question to the best of our abilities, and then update all of our manuals so that other buyers in the future will not face the same troubles as you. Sending us cookies might speed up the updating process.
It is possible to return your UNIT within 90 days of receiving it, but to do so you must replace your UNIT and all accessories in the box they were shipped in. If you cannot locate all of the accessories or the box itself, [CookieLord Factories] is unable to reclaim the UNIT and return your money. Well, we suppose we'll reclaim the UNIT anyways. But you won't get your money back. We'll probably have spent it on cookie ingredients by then.
Your UNIT should possess the following traits:
Manufacturing Origin: Royal Caldera City
Nationality: Fire Nation
Bending Abilities: Fire
Preferred Weaponry: none, but she can use throwing knives if she wants
It should be clear that you don't want to take AZULA out of her packaging incorrectly. To ensure no lightning is shot at anybody, use these tips to remove AZULA from her box safely:
Turn on a violent television show, preferably something with military themes. AZULA will eagerly leave her box and begin to analyze every tactic she sees, becoming derisive if she thinks another strategy could have worked better. You are then free to reprogram her as you wish.
Talk loudly near her box about how a ZUKO UNIT failed at something. AZULA will exit the box and ask where ZUKO is so she can go taunt him. You are then free to reprogram her as you wish.
Say that an AANG UNIT is nearby. AZULA will burst out of her box and begin to search for him, taunting the closest ZUKO UNIT about how he keeps failing to capture AANG. You are then free to reprogram her as you wish.
Uses and Jobs
Are you kidding? Try to make an AZULA UNIT work and she'll kill you! The closest we can get to a job for her is this:
DICTATOR: You know she'd be a good one, and if you can avoid characterizing AZULA to the end of the series she'll be the best you ever saw. Find her a small country or something to take over, and she'll be running that corner of the globe in no time. If you play your cards right, she may even let you be one of her advisors!
UNITs are pre-programmed to be consistent with their personalities and general appearances in the middle of Season Two. This means that their relations with other UNITs, philosophies, and even their treatment of you will vary depending on how much of the series they believe they have experienced. Showing them episodes of the series will "unlock" their memories of what happened, as well as affect their relations with others and their actions.
Relations to Other Units
ZUKO: These UNITs are siblings, but don't get along very well. AZULA is more concerned with manipulating ZUKO and gaining his position as Crown Prince(ess) than she is with maintaining a good sibling relationship, and tends to belittle ZUKO and his talents. Being the more gifted sibling, she has also managed to capture more of her father's attention and favoritism. While she won't admit it, AZULA is jealous of ZUKO for having their mother's favoritism and love. Their relationship sours the farther into the season three you characterize them, until they're both at the series finale: beware, for by then AZULA will have gone insane and be bent on destroying ZUKO.
MAI: One of AZULA's lackeys (we hesitate to say "friends"), AZULA picked her out at a young age because MAI possessed a skillset that AZULA herself lacked. They remained close until MAI's family moved to Omashu. At their initial characterization, MAI will follow AZULA and obey her orders up to a certain point, but if you characterize her to the end of the "Boiling Rock" episodes, she will defy AZULA because of her love for ZUKO.
TY LEE: AZULA's other lackey, this one had to be bullied into joining Ozai's Angels. She will obediently obey AZULA's every order, likely out of fear of what AZULA will do if she disobeys. Also expect to see her praising AZULA at every turn. Once characterized to the "Boiling Rock" episodes, however, TY LEE will willfully disobey AZULA and team up with MAI to try and escape AZULA's grasp. Their success depends on how far you've characterized AZULA, and if there are any FIRE NATION SOLDIER UNITs nearby.
OZAI: AZULA's father has always shown her preferential treatment, ever since it was clear her talents outstripped ZUKO's. He has groomed her to be his heir ever since she was a small child, and lavished her with the attention her mother gave instead to ZUKO. If you characterize your AZULA UNIT to the last few episodes of the series, she will become desperate for her father to acknowledge her talents and show her his love. It is possible that OZAI will realize how dangerous AZULA is and begin to push her away: this will only fuel AZULA's desperation, and in turn, her madness.
IROH: This UNIT is her uncle, albeit not her favorite. AZULA is openly derisive of IROH, and believes him a failure for not conquering Ba Sing Se after LU TEN's death. She is, however, glad that IROH did not become Fire Lord, as it allowed OZAI to take the throne. IROH believes AZULA should not be allowed to roam free, and the two are guaranteed to clash no matter when they are characterized to. Keep in mind, however, that after IROH's capture it is less likely that IROH will openly resist AZULA's actions, but that he will rather passively rebel.
URSA: The elusive URSA UNIT is hard to find, but in the off chance your AZULA UNIT comes across one…we honestly have no idea what would happen. Seriously. Going off of the series finale, AZULA might just throw a hairbrush at URSA before bursting into sobs. Or she could go on an angst-driven rampage fuelled by mommy issues. Whatever happens, we don't really want to know, as it will most likely involve mayhem, destruction, rage, and overdue attempts at parenting.
AZULA loves being clean, but would never dream of lowering herself so far as to do it herself. She will leave her things wherever she pleases and expect you or another UNIT to clean it up for her, while going to expensive spas and salons that she charges on your credit cards.
As a princess of the Fire Nation, AZULA expects only the best. She refuses to eat fast food or anything less than gourmet, preferably Chinese. TV dinners and anything microwaved is right out. Hand-cook everything, or get another UNIT to do it for you, and you should be able to avoid a lightning bolt to the face.
Since a princess shouldn't do any work, AZULA will spend most of her time resting. The minute she arrives, she will claim the largest and comfiest bedroom as her own, and won't care who it already belongs to—she has lightning, and she will shoot it at those who challenge her. Her bedding had better be good, or she'll buy something outrageously expensive with your money.
Arrogant/Fire Nation Princess (default)
Your AZULA UNIT comes with the default modes of Arrogant/Fire Nation Princess and Manipulative. Both of these modes entail different risks for the owner of an AZULA UNIT, and will often be seen at the same time. In Arrogant/Fire Nation Princess mode AZULA will act like the daughter of privilege she is, expecting you to take care of any "dirty" work that needs doing and refusing to lift a finger to help. Manipulative mode is a bit harder to detect, but if you find yourself doing something you don't/didn't want to do, and realize it's because of something AZULA said or did, you can bet she's in Manipulative. While in Manipulative mode, AZULA will have everyone around her doing exactly what she wants through the use of calculated words and behaviors. She's not above using fear to manipulate you, either!
Fighter mode is when AZULA stops overseeing things from the sidelines and jumps into the action. The blue flames will fly, and she'll be showing off her Firebending skills while beating her enemy into the dust. AZULA controls when and how this mode will activate—actually, she controls when all of her modes activate, save for the locked ones—and will only enter it when she thinks necessary.
Strategist mode has often been thought of as a combination of Fighter and Manipulative modes, in which AZULA's talent for predicting the outcome of a situation is coupled with her immense political and military knowledge to give her the supreme strategic skills. She will enter this mode if she feels planning is required—and it doesn't have to be for a battle. If you decide to throw a party, and can bribe an AZULA UNIT enough, she will draw up a plan that takes into account every possible malfunction and has at least three possible solutions. She's also very good at managing money in this mode, but due to her refusal to work, you have little hope of getting anything out of her other than a strict budget.
Angsty mode occurs when AZULA spends enough time sitting by herself, or with her fellow Ozai's Angels, when there are lots of boys around her. She becomes depressed at her inability to relate to other teenagers, and will be snappish towards anyone who seems to have any talent for it (especially TY LEE). To get her out of this mode, simply have a guy flirt with her, or tell her that all men are shallow idiots who are unworthy of her.
Cracked mode occurs when AZULA has been characterized to the end of the series. In this mode, she will be unstable mentally and physically, swaying on her feet and exhausting herself more than usual when Firebending while her mind deludes itself with hallucinations and paranoia. Keep her away from mirrors in this mode, lest she think she is talking to an URSA UNIT and break the mirror in anger. The only way to get her out of this mode is to order a Decharacterization DVD, which will erase all memories unlocked by watching the series and revert AZULA to her characterization when you received her. Keep in mind that this DVD is expensive, and you cannot return it when you are done. (Note: Some of our customers theorize that Cracked mode may be reversed by the love and care of an URSA UNIT. We at CookieLord Factories have had neither the opportunity nor the courage to test this theory, and the few customers who have mysteriously disappeared in fiery explosions. For your safety, we ask that you do not attempt to experiment with this method at home.)
Problem: I characterized AZULA to the end of the series, but I can't afford the Decharacterization DVD! Can't I just send her back?
Solution: We at CookieLord Factories do not accept returns of our UNITs, especially not AZULA UNITs in Cracked mode. Why would we want those running around the place? You're on your own, kid. Try not to get killed or murdered violently in your sleep.
Problem: I showed AZULA the episode "Zuko Alone," and now she's in Angst mode. There aren't any guys around! What do I do?
Solution: Congratulations, you've found the secret method of triggering Angst mode: URSA! Reminders of how much her mother loved ZUKO instead of her, as well as what her mother really thought of her, will send AZULA into the mode faster than being around boys will. To get her out of the mode after triggering it like this, just give AZULA an opportunity to laugh at someone else's pain or show up her brother; she'll be back in Arrogant mode in no time!
Q: I really can't afford to have my AZULA UNIT lazing around the house all day, and she keeps ordering expensive things online! How do I get her to get a job?
A: You can't. Deal with it: you ordered her!
Q: I ordered an AZULA UNIT, but when I opened my box I found a little girl! She keeps messing with my stuff, demanding I do everything she says, and beats me up when I don't listen to her! A little kid is beating me up! What do I do?
A: Whoops, you have a LITTLE PRINCESS AZULA UNIT. She's usually ordered in a set with the PRINCE OZAI, PRINCESS URSA, and LITTLE PRINCE ZUKO UNITs. Well, since we don't accept returns, the best we can advise you do is to order the rest of her family and hope URSA can set her daughter straight. If not, at least OZAI will help shape her into a Princess you can be proud of…if she lets you live in the new world order.
Royal Headpiece (1)
Set of Fire Nation Princess's clothing (1)
Earth Kingdom Outfit (1)
Kyoshi Warrior Uniform (1)
Royal Fire Nation Armor (1)
We at [CookieLord Factories] hope you and your UNIT enjoy many years of happiness together, and please urge you to remember the local laws concerning statutory rape. Seriously, he's underage and if we're not drilling that into you the government might try to get the men in the white coats to take us away again! If you or your UNIT should do anything illegal, [CookieLord Factories] is not responsible for legal representation, reimbursement, or paying bail. Though, a donation of cookies may help change our minds.