Harry Potter and the Toad's Mistake

This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoat Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.

Warnings: Slash Yaoi maleXmale M/M/M/M/M, Swearing, implied femslash yuri F/F,

Italics mean parceltongue.

It was just your typical day at Hogwarts Malfoy was lording some new thing he had received in the mail over the rest of the Slytherin and the Golden Trio was happily ignoring him. Dumbledore everyone's favorite headmaster was chatting merrily with his deputy headmistress about the upcoming Newt's and Professor Snape was picking at his food the last Death Eater meeting having zapped his strength and appetite. This day though was going to be different because Professor Umbrigde, Senior Undersecretary to the Minister of Magic had finally found a way to control that lying attention seeking brat Harry Potter.

"Hry, ae he aod ace is looin a ou." Ron warned around a mouth full of food most people had no clue what he had just said but harry did after all he had plenty of practice understanding Ron's gurgled language.

He was telling him in simple terms that Professor Umbridge was looking at him. It wasn't anything new just that she was being more obvious about it. Harry got a bad feeling that the old toad was planning something that was going to end nastily for him. The feeling got worse as the witch stood.

"Hem-Hem," The great hall fell silent rather quickly at her words because if you didn't you got a detention and lost points; at the moment the only house that could stand to lose a few points is the Slytherin house. The women dressed completely in pink made her way to stand between the Gryffindor house table and the Slytherin. "Mr. Potter if you would please come here."

Harry stood warily his instincts screamed at him 'Run, run far and fast!' they cried, but Harry ignored them. He knew deep inside that this witch was looking to get him in more trouble. Feeling like he was walking to his doom the young raven haired boy approached the witch in pink.

"Mr. Potter as Senior Undersecretary to the Minister of Magic it is my duty to give you this." She didn't even pause to give him a chance to look at it she just slammed it on his head quickly.

Harry felt it right away the necklace the bitch had given him was magic and several years old. "Madam it would be in your best interest to explain what you have just 'gifted' me with because I can feel quite clearly that it is no ordinary necklace." To say Dolores Umbridge was shocked would be an understatement not only had the little brat knew that thing was magical and he spoke like a trained young lord.

Necklace alight with a green glow, Harry glowered at the pitiful women before him. Suddenly Draco Malfoy stood and walked over, at the same time as one Severus Snape was dragged forward, and two more cloaked figures walked in only to stop when they had finished the circle around Harry.

Pleased wasn't a word you could use to describe Harry Potter at the moment in fact you could go ahead and assume he was very unhappy with the resent turn of events. "Hermione, please tell me this isn't what I think it is?" Harry kept his voice neutral and his face calm.

"Harry I'm sorry but it is." Hermione confirmed it he now had by the looks of it four bond mates. He wasn't too happy about this considering he was still in the closest about a lot of things. The raven haired boy nodded to himself and looked at the simple piece of twine with a little coin looking medallion hanging from it. The medallion was completely plain in that the only design on it was a person

"Potter, explain what's going on!" The younger blonde yelled he wanted answers and he didn't want to wait.

"Please wait just a moment I have something's to take care of then I will answer your questions." His words were for all four men gathered around him because they were each giving of the feeling of slow building anger and confusion.

"Dobby!" He summoned one of his personal house elves swiftly.

A little pop and suddenly the very happy elf appeared, only to jump on Harry's leg. "Master Harry, yous be calling Dobby."

"Yes, Dobby I want you to go get the Minister and Kingsley." He gave out his order and if possible the house elves smile got even bigger.

"If they don't want to come?" Dobby frowned not able to understand how anyone could ignore his master.

"Well just tell them the truth," Dobby looked confused for a second so Harry elaborated. "Tell them Lord Potter summoned them on an urgent matter that requires his attention." Dobby nodded enthusiastically and popped away. Most people in the room wanted to ask when he had accepted his titles but felt it was the wrong time.

"Winky!" He called his other house elf smiling at the lovely shade of red his friend was turning.

"Master Harry sir, what can Winky bes doing for yous?" She asked cheerily, a smile gracing her now sober face.

"Will you bring me that jar on the mantel of Gryffindor common room?" Harry asked quietly but the nearest gryffindor heard and giggled.

Ron shook his head at him. "So mate what ya going to do with that beetle, huh?" He knew just who that stupid bug was and why it wasn't released yet but it wasn't like he was going to say so in front of all these people. He had some tact after all.

Harry smirked at his friend giving him a look that said 'you'll see'. While they waited Harry turned hard emerald eyes on the woman who was supposedly a teacher, she shivered. Not one to give away the game he kept his face calm, but inside he was laughing at the idiotic witch.

"Potter quit looking at me like that." The toad demanded in her high pitched squeal. That inward smile grew as he continued to stare. "Potter, its rude to stare. So quit." She quivered. When the emerald eyes stayed she screeched loudly "Potter don't make me give you detention!"

At this Harry did laugh but this laugh was cold and condescending. "You mean after we finish the twelve other detentions I already have with you or before that?" His stare turned questioning. Ron and Hermione laughed then too.

"Oh no, another detention!" Hermione mock cried still laughing hard.

"It's not like she can do anything worse to ya mate. What with the quidditch and Hogsmeade ban. Of course she could expel you." Ron added. "But it is you after all so who knows." The two laughing pals shared a look. Harry shook his head at them.

The non-D.A. members were shocked to hear the Golden Trio speak in such a manner. They didn't understand how the boy-hero and his side-kicks could be so, so sarcastic.

"Harry, my boy you can't…" Dumbledore didn't get to finish his worried rambles before three sets of cold hate filled eyes fell to him. Even the D.A. looked at him with hatred.

"Firstly old man I'm not you boy, secondly I can do whatever the hell I want to and thirdly you're not my guardian in anyway." His calm voice filled the Great Hall with new knowledge.

A little pop alerted him to Winky's return with the bug filled jar. "Here's you are Master." She handed over the jar then waited for her next instructions.

"Thank you Winky. You can go back to whatever you were doing." He smiled brightly at the blushing elf, who hugged his leg tight before she vanished.

Once she was gone Harry dropped the smile and put the jar down. Backing away he pointed his wand at the thing intoning the animagus reveling charm giddily. The bug transformed in the jar expanding till a very put out Rita Skeeter stood there.

"Potter I will take you up on charges!" She hollered and all Harry could think was her animagus form should have been a hissing roach.

"Now now Rita you think it's going to matter? You were just exposed as an illegal animagus." He cackled brightly.

"Alright brat what do you want with me?" she demanded arms crossed looking like an angry adult who thinks she can bully a child.

"It's Lord Potter to you Miss." At that Skeeter spluttered out her apologies quickly.

"Now you're about to see some interesting things and I want it in the Prophet but I want it written just as you saw so no 'Quick Notes Quills' or 'Quick Quotes Quills', alright?" In the end the beetle was grumbling but took up his offer.

Finally he turned to the four men gathered around him. "I'm sorry Professor Snape, Malfoy; there is nothing I can do to prevent the rest of the Wizarding world from hearing about you being bond to me." With a nod from the both of them he turn to the other two. "I can understand the need for something's to remain a secret if you want others to know your identity you can remove your cloak otherwise I would suggest you kept it on and remain silent for the next hour or so." He addressed all four together now. "Unfortunately because of the charms on the necklace you four won't be able to leave my company till we come to some type of agreement."

None of the four got the chance to answer because just then the Minister of Magic Cornelius Fudge, Head Auror Shacklebot, and several trainees walked through the Great Halls doors.

"Potter! What is this nonsense of you summoning me and my aurors away from our jobs?" The man demanded to know after only take one step through the door and his voice was already grating on everyone's nerves.

"Hmmm," Harry raised a hand lazily into the air and a stack of papers came flying to it including the one Dolores had in her grubby hands. "Kingsly your head auror right?" Harry asked the tall black man but didn't expect an answer. "Tell me if this is legal."

He passed a contract with the minister's approval of the use of the charm that bound the five unlikely people together. It gave permission to use a long outlawed artifact.

"No its not even if he is the minister this paper would need the Head of the Department of Mystery's signature and your guardian's signatures." Kingsly browed furrow as he read the piece of utter nonsense.

"Dolores Umbridge you're under arrest for…" Kingsly intoned angrily while his fellow aurors surrounded her and the minister.

"Just a moment I have another here that's questionable." He passed the paper over calmly but this was the one that would seal the deal for this both the Minister and Umbitch would be in Azkaban for life.

Kingsly gasp and look of horror let him know just what he needed. So instead of answering the other mans questioning gaze Harry turned to the rest of the room. "Will any student to ever receive a detention with Umbridge were she had you writing lies with her 'special' quill please come here?"

If possible the other mans eyes grew ever bigger and when he finally could speak his voice came out in a squeak. "Y-you m-mean she actual d-did this?" The usually calm man looked utterly broken.

Harry for his part was the opposite several students stepped forward from all grade levels, oddly enough none of the Slytherins stood, and they formed a line at Harry's nod most of them being DA members. The line started with first years and ended in seventh years, an unknown first year stepped up with a hint from his leader raised the hand opposite to his writing hand palm down. A light scar had made itself a home and Kingsly paled. Mutely he passed the contract to another auror while the rest of the line did the same. Most people were confused by the turn of events, the Gryffindors who knew grinned evilly which put almost everyone on edge, and others had their own suspicions.

When the last of the line had returned to their respected seat the auror felt several years older but they were totally unprepared for Harry to step forward and offer his hand up as well. Honey brown eyes met emerald and they seemed to beg the younger wizard to say it isn't so, but with a low glance downward the honey eyes fell upon another scar.

In the last thirty minutes the old auror had seen several scars most saying the same thing. I will listen to my betters, or I will not talk back, the fact that most of those with scars were half-blood or muggleborn did not evade them. Though now he was faced with the Saviors hand and his scar, the one they were sworn to protect so he could complete his destiny was being hurt right under their noses.

"I will not tell lies," He whispered but it was loud enough for the few others around them to hear.

Harry nodded pulled his hand back and passed him the rest of the stack. Suddenly very tired Kingsly nodded to the aurors who grabbed Fudge and Umbridge. "You are both under arrest, Fudge you are charged with legally allowing your Undersecretary to use blood quills on students and Umbridge you are charged with the use of several illegal artifacts and knowing torturing several minors till scarring." The guests were dragged from the room and Harry finally allowed himself a smile.

The other three houses erupted in cheers. It was an all around happy atmosphere. DA members and their friends all wanted to race toward their savior to give them their sincerest thanks but he held up a hand meaning he didn't wish for that. Clearing his throat Harry spoke above their voices, "Celebrate this but don't thank me, no one deserves to have to deal with that woman." He offered everyone a wan smile before trying to leave.

A very pale long hair blonde with radish earrings blocked his way. She skipped up smiling dreamily and grabbed his hand. Harry gave her a small but very bright smile. Turning toward his four bond mates he had to wonder if he was going to make it out alive.

"If you would follow me I think we have a lot to talk about and it won't get done here."

The four men followed the loony girl and their other bond mate, and the ebony haired man led them to his private rooms. They took many turns an travel several different stair cases all in all the trip to Harry's rooms left them all very confused. When they finally did stop in front of a very plain tapestry with one lone rose holding a rather large violet butterfly Harry gingerly placed his hand on the thorn, he didn't even gasp when it stabbed the palm of his hand.

After a moments wait the door swung open revealing a lavish living room with two doors, one on the wall to the left and the other next to the fire place, and a hallway, perhaps leading to more rooms. Harry nodded and took off his school robe, leaving him in his comfortable black dress shoes, some tight fitting black trousers, a nice long sleeve button up shirt, and his gryffindor tie, which he loosened expertly.

"Right well these are the rooms Luna and I share. This is the living room, that door there," He pointed towards the door next to the fire place. "Is both a study and a library, the hall way leads to Luna's room first door on the right, a guest room across from Luna's, my room at the end of the hall and a restroom second door on the right." He walked towards the one room he hadn't explained and the door opened up to show a large circular dark rosewood table with six high chairs and kitchen attachment with matching rosewood cabinets and black marble countertops.

"This is where we will be talk as that woman decided to interrupt our meal." He gestured to the table and each man got the hint after the blond girl who looked to be in her own world sat down. "Voldemort, Mr. Malfoy there is no need to wear such cloaks in my rooms as Luna and I are the only ones who know where they are." He called as he pulled out a large pitcher of juice from the fridge and using magic he set the table six plates, goblets, forks, knives, spoons and napkins placed themselves in the correct spots easily.

"I would normally offer butter beer or something stronger but it's best if we all have a level head for the upcoming conversation." Harry muttered not that it'll matter he turned to prepare lunch for his guest. "Is chicken parmesan, a loaded potato, and a small salad alright with everyone?" He asked already getting the ingredients out. He really didn't care if they wanted it or not, he was set on cooking this for Luna as she rarely made requests.

"Potter," Came a dark voice and no trace of its previous hissing problem.

"Yes?" He turned to see Tom Riddle sitting next to his other guest and if he didn't have such strong control of expressions his jaw would have hit the floor in shock. Harry wasn't the only one in shock Severus Snape and Draco Malfoy looked it their Slytherin masks completely abandoned.

"How did you know it was me?" Tom's dark voice was like a soft caress it sent shivers down his spine.

Harry picked up a big knife and began to cut up the large block of cheese as he answered. "Well for one I can tell by your aura every person has a different aura and yours just happened to be one of my favorite colors…" Finished with the cheese he set it in a bowl next to the stove where the chicken was already cooking.

There was a long silence but Harry just went ahead and finished preparing the tomato paste. It was nerve racking to feel the stare of all four of them as they watched him work each with their own intensity. The chicken was finished and Harry plated them expertly, covering them with a fine layer of paste then sprinkling it in cheese. Harry magically placed the plates in front of each person, pulled the salad out of the fridge and set it out too.

"The other was the way you stand. Most people give themselves away with their stance and you always stand as tall as possible always walking with pride, you always seem to say 'I'm proud of who I am' with every determined step…" Luna finished in a thin misty voice.

This too received shocked looks. Harry smiled as he prepared the baked potatoes. Luna enjoyed peoples shocked faces for some strange reason or another. Food all ready they sat down to eat. The silence so thick you could cut it.

"Potter, where did you learn to cook like this?" Draco just had to ask the meal was absolutely delicious and he wanted to know badly.

Both Luna and Harry stiffened but the men only saw Luna's reaction. "I learned when I was younger I always cooked for my family." The Slytherins prided themselves over being able to pick up on the littlest things were sadly oblivious to venom in the word family.

Severus just had to sneer at the boy this was probably the only thing he knew, how to cook, it's not like he was a great chef. Lucius watched calmly trying to see where he going with feeding them, he would have thought it was poisoned if it wasn't for the fact that they watched him prepare it and that both he and the blonde girl were eating it too. Riddle was angry he was wasting his time with children when he had war plans to make. Seconds later the Tom Riddle appearance left, if any of the men noticed they didn't say anything just assumed he had either drop a glammer or placed it back on.

Luna shivered the emotions from this room were so cold it wasn't even funny. Feeling ill she grabbed a bit of her big brothers sleeve and pulled. Harry turned to her worry clouding his features. Luna could always pull him from terrible thoughts.

"Lulu, you alright?" he whispered she hated when people spoke to her loudly, since everyone thought she was stupid most people spoke loud and slow.

Luna shook her head miserably sending her wavy blonde hair everywhere. Harry stood up pushing his chair away from the table and his unfinished food, he went to her. Careful not to jostle her to much the ravened haired man picked her up to carry her to her room. Any room Luna spent a lot of time in had a dream catcher much like the one she wore around her neck.

The room Luna called her own was different she didn't have a four post bed like most people in the castle her bed hung from chains in the middle of the room and every square inch of her walls were covered in different sized dream catchers. All of them were unique in its own way; some of them were even hand made by Luna herself. She thought they would help that they would take away her nightmares but they didn't.

Harry placed her in her bed, making it swing away. Once Luna was tucked in Harry kissed her forehead gently. "You come get me if you get a nightmare, okay?" He whispered.

Luna with the blanket pulled up to her chin and snuggled in Mr. Whiskers her plush Unicorn on her left and Carl her plush thestral on the right. She was asleep before he could say anything else.

A small chuckle escaped the plump lips of the emerald eyed boy as he left Luna's room. Luna was an anomaly but not a bad one she made the day's brighter. A gentle almost invisible smile played on his lips as he went back to his meal.

Luna's plate sat at her spot shouting out that Luna hadn't finished eating again. Happy mood gone again Harry put her food in the fridge she would most likely eat it for lunch. The four other men in the room watched this curious as to what made him upset.

As always Severus Snape jumps to an unflattering conclusion that he just didn't like to take care of the little blonde girl. "So Potter you can't even take care of one little girl without it irritating you?"

Harry stiffened instantly and Draco felt like his godfather turned bond-mate just step over a line he wasn't aware existed. "Severus Snape," Harry turned around to look the older man in the eyes. "How dare you accuse me of something like that, you don't even know me." He ground out his normally emerald eyes flashing purple with dangerous gold flecks. Harry visibly collected himself; the purple slowly vanished leaving blank emeralds. Harry calmly put away his meal as well and went to the door unable to stay in the room with them any longer. "Once you have finished your meal you'll find me in the study please join me there and I will tell you all that is known of the necklace."

The four worked to finished their meal, it was an awkward affair none of them could really understand what made Harry blow up like that or what line Severus had crossed. Once done they shuffled gracefully into the study where they found Harry sorting through a large stack of paperwork.

Snape wanted to ask but felt he would anger the boy again and for some reason deep inside he didn't want to see that. So Draco stepped up to the plate. "Potter, what's with all this paperwork?"

Harry finished reading the contract in hand and quickly burned it. Looking up he gave his reply. "It's nothing just some business contracts, transactions, and plans…" Draco raised a brow at this and Harry smirked. "It's not easy being a Lord of several houses…"

This time it was Lucius Malfoy who exploded. "What! You're not even of age how can you be a Lord?" Tom Riddle nodded to showing he wanted the question answered too.

"It's none of your business how I am a Lord, Mr. Malfoy," He drawled in a typical this conversation bores me voice. "Now have a seat and I will tell you what I know."

Draco sat gracefully in the seat nearest him quickly, Severus mean while looked at the Potter brat in front of him a long second before seating himself on Draco's left farthest from the other two men, Lucius sank into his seat angrily but still just a graceful as his son and Riddle seated himself on Malfoy Seniors right choosing not to show just how infuriating the brat in front of him could be.

"Fine, now tell me why that piece of junk has us here and why I can't leave." This annoyed question came from Malfoy Jr.

"Well this 'piece of junk' as you so put it is the most illegal artifact in this part of the continent. It's named rather ironically The Lady's Choice because it chooses four people of the center bond-mates preference. Had I been bisexual two of you would most likely be female. The necklace doesn't care what your age is so long as you have the gender I like and are my match in mind, magic, body, or soul."

Riddle stood in a flourish wand pointed straight at the brat in front of him. "So if I kill you this bond falls to pieces." It wasn't a question.

Harry smiled up at him grimly. "No it means your bonded to me and the spot my ghost body picks as its haunt so you would be stuck in these rooms for the rest of your life along with these three." He waved a hand gesturing to the others in a careless wave. "Though if you killed me right this minute there's also the chance you all will die to since our lovely bond isn't consummated."

"Whoa whoa, who said anything about consummating anything does that my father and I have to…" He trailed of looking horrified at Harry.

"It all depends this necklace has many charms on it. One to keep us together even if one us dies, one to lengthen our lives, one that's called the 'Timid Wife', one to pick two submissives, one to pick some who will dominant the two submissives while being submissive to the 'alpha dominant' and the 'second dominant', one to appoint the 'alpha dominant', and one to appoint the 'second dominant'."

Lucius Malfoy, Severus Snape and Tom Riddle all fully understood the pissed off face the boy was making as he explained it. Draco on the other hand was confused.

"What the 'timid wife' spell do, what's an alpha dominant, second dominant and submissive?" His beautiful crystal blue eyes met emerald green in confusion.

Harry sighed he hated that he had to explain this seeing as Malfoy Sr. was to deep in thought to even hear his son speak.

"The timid wife spell was a spell used in the 16th to the 18th century to ensure that the virgin women slept with their husband's within two months of marriage." Harry hadn't looked away from the blue eyes that slowly filled with fear and horror.

"N-none o-of us are w-women here s-so it shouldn't matter, r-right?" Draco's eyes once so devoid of emotion held a small glimmer of hope.

"No, I'm sorry, but these spells don't care what gender you are they just want the deed done and seeing as this necklace automatically makes us married you have two months." Draco's eyes fell to the floor were they glued themselves to his shoes.

"What about the other stuff?" He whispered not trusting his voice any louder.

"The submissives are the only two out of an all male bonding like this one that can have children, they are the care takers who would normally be forced to cook, clean, and do other things like that. The next would be termed the 'third dominant' only because he tops the two submissives but is submissive to the 'second dominant' and the 'alpha dominant'. The 'second dominant' is only submissive to the 'alpha' and is in charge when the 'alpha' is away." Harry paused a second for them to understand, seeing as he now had the other three's full attention again. "The 'alpha dominant' cannot be question his word is law he controls everything in the relationship between himself and his four submissives. Their money, life, and all choices they could possibly make are his. If he wanted to he could tell you to never wear clothes again and you would have to follow his instruction no rules can change it even if the Minister himself said 'Put clothes on,' you would not be able to. If you broke his rules he can punish you in any way he saw fit." All four men gave him wide eyed looks two filled with so much fear and horror it hurt to met their gaze, another with just plain horror and the last with poorly masked glee.

Voldemort opened his mouth to declare himself the alpha dominant but Harry got there first. "We do not get to choose which one we are, the necklace chooses for us." The Dark Lord let his mouth fall closed with a snap.

"Now, shall we find out how you match up with me?" Harry looked at the necklace sitting almost innocently on the desk in front of him.

~Next Morning~

Harry, with Luna leaning against him, led his troop of Slytherin into the great hall at breakfast.

"See Minerva I told you Harry would be here to explain. There was no need to worry." Dumbledore gave a sweet trust me smile to the room.

Minerva stood and gave her favorite gryffindor a stern look. "Mr. Potter, would you care to explain why you left with these four men yesterday?"

Harry ignored her and continued to walk toward the middle of the room going between the gryffindor and slytherin tables, stopping when he came to were Hermione was seated.

"So Harry, is it time yet?" Hermione stood straight with her shoulders squared, giving the Boy-Who-Lived a leveled look you wouldn't typically find on a teenager.

"Sure Hermione." Harry smirked at her, flashing a knowing smile.

"Good cause I was done playing anyway." Hermione waved her hand over her face and down her body. Slowly the bushy brown hair, school uniform, and short buck teethed girl faded from view to be replaced with a taller girl with short blonde hair in a pixy cut wearing a blood red halter top, flowing black leather mini-skirt, large black military style boots that end at the knee, a dark grey leather duster, a shoulder holster holding a firestar, its twin in a thigh holster just peeking out from under her skirt, and on her left arm was her wand holstered snuggly.

The new Hermione ran a hand threw her hair. "Being the brain was boring, I'd much rather be in the action then a little kid that panics first then thinks." She gave Harry an evil smirk.

Harry smiled at her. "There's no wood, honestly. You almost killed me with that one."

Hermione nodded amused. "I try."

"So Dark Lady what will you do know?" Harry had to ask they had been playing this game for so long they truly hadn't thought about what they would do when they were done.

"Well it seems like you got some people to take care of you and you to take care of in turn… So I think I'm going to see my girlfriend this weekend and finish out school in America." Hermione smiled reassuringly at the man she considered her big brother. "Don't worry I'll come back if ya need me to pull you out of some hole you dug," Her words were light and joking but Harry knew she was utterly and completely serious.

"Alright 'Mione send me a Luna a postcard and remember to visit for the holiday's, okay?" Harry pulled her into a fierce hug which she returned hugging him just as hard. Luna stood there looking at them with a sad smile on her face.

Hermione and Harry looked up as if they felt her sorrow and pulled her into the hug laughing. "How could I not come check up on my family?" Hermione whispered into Luna's hair, causing Luna to smile again.

Ron, it seemed couldn't take anymore he slammed his hands on the table before him. "Hermione, Harry, what the hell is going on here? Your," He pointed at Hermione who had let go of Harry and Luna in favor of standing next to them. "Dressed strangely, carrying muggle weapons and you," He pointed at Harry this time. "Are being escorted around by a bunch of murderous death eaters. What the bloody hell is happening here?"

Hermione and Harry shared a look and sighed it would seem the idiot they had picked was going to be a problem. Harry stepped up to explain.

"Yes Harry, my boy, that's what we would all like to know." Dumbledore intoned hoping to get his answers.

Harry opened his mouth to reply…