When the Mechs Get Bored

"I just don't get it," Bumblebee sighed as he and Spike came out of the woods near the Ark. He had just picked Spike up from school, and the pair had been discussing this particular subject for a considerable amount of time.

Spike laughed, "You don't have to get it Bumblebee, just accept it!"

"But it doesn't make any sense! Why would you DRIVE in the parkway, and PARK in the driveway?" Bumblebee pressed his point.

"Look, it's simple, we just-"

Spike's sentence caught in his throat when he saw the Ark. Or, more specifically, all the Autobots around it. There were about thirty of them, all standing around, not one of them moving. Bumblebee and Spike just stared.

It was Spike who regained his voice first. "You don't think-"

"WHEELJACK!" Bumblebee yelled. He put his hands on his head and stared across the field in a panic.

A voice rang out from across the courtyard. "Why does everyone always assume it's my fault?" Bumblebee and Spike looked to see the mechanical engineer walking over to them with a downcast expression. "And you made me lose, too!"

Bumblebee looked up apologetically to the taller bot. "Sorry 'Jack," He said, still not quite understanding the situation.

Spike spoke up, "Um... What's going on?"

"We're playing that human game, Statue!" Wheeljack seemed to have lost some of his earlier hurt, and smiled behind his mouthplate.

"Oh yeah, I know that game!" Spike announced, "The one where you all hold still to see who can last the longest! I'm terrible at it." He shrugged. "I bet Sideswipe didn't last thirty minutes!" He yelled into the crowd of Autobots.

Another voice cut through the stillness, "I did too!" Then a pause. "SLAG!"

The three at the front burst into laughter, and several other previously frozen bots joined in, falling over themselves in hysterics. They dragged themselves up, still giggling, and joined the original three at the front. Sideswipe stormed through the group, but then he stopped midway. He turned and looked at his brother standing next to him, the fierce yellow warrior, and gave him a hard shove. Sunstreaker fell to the ground with a loud clatter. There was more laughter.

"The slag?" He yelled up at his twin.

Sideswipe put his hand on his hips. "If I'm out, you are too." Then he stalked back to the half-circle of five Autobots and one the human watching. He strutted over to Spike and looked down at him. "If it weren't for Optimus..." He let the threat hang in the air, and moved over to stand next to Bluestreak. Sunstreaker followed suit, as well as some who had laughed at his unfortunate fall, and glanced at the now ten bots who had lost because of a laughing fit. The was Bluestreak, Hound, Trailbreaker, three of the Aerialbots, Powerglide, Warpath, Blaster, and Sideswipe. Joining into the small band, Sunstreaker now made eleven.

Bumblebee panned his gaze across the remaining twenty-something Autobots frozen in various positions. He noted the absence of Optimus and Prowl, obviously, and Grimlock wasn't there either, though the rest of the Dinobots were, and they seemed to be holding through. Ironhide, Red Alert, and Ratchet weren't present either, along with various other bots you would never see taking part in a game like this. The rest of the Autobots were currently on the field though, sitting or standing, determined not to lose.

All was quiet for a while, everyone wondering in their processors who would fall next. Then Spike broke the silence. "Who's idea was this anyway?"

"I'll give you three guesses, and the first two don't count." Wheeljack laughed.

Spike needed to think only a moment before he got it. "Jazz."

"Ya got that right." Blaster chuckled. "A bot can only wonder where he comes up with these crazy ideas!"

Out on the field, Jazz resisted the urge to smile.


After Hoist got an 'emergency' call from Grapple about some architectural issue or another, the game watchers headed into the Ark to wait out the rest of the game.

About two hours later, nineteen more bots had trudged into the ship at some point or another, heads hung low. Tracks had completely and utterly freaked after a squirrel decided to relieve itself on his pede, dragging Inferno down with him while trying to hop on one foot and ultimately falling to the ground on top of the fire rig. Slingshot seemingly spotted Laserbeak, and crying "DECEPTICON!" had charged off with three others to fire at the innocent Red-tailed Hawk. Two other bots had just gotten bored, and First Aid had been called in to assist Ratchet. Blaster had gone in to try and get the "Old Doc Bot" to let First Aid off the hook, but now all he had to show for it was a double-shift in the morning.


The twins peeked outside to see who else was left in the everlasting game. They saw just two more bots out on the field. And promptly fell over laughing.

Snarl was crowned winner of the Statue game, despite the heated protests from Smokescreen that the Dinobot had cheated. Apparently Snarl had the best strategy out there: He had fallen asleep in the sun. The twins had witnessed a silently fuming gambler as he watched his opponent sleep the game away, unmoving. But there had been nothing he could do about it, lest he lose. He had planned on just waiting until Snarl woke up, but when he heard his observers laughing at him, he jumped to his feet and chased after them, laser rifle blazing. And even then Snarl didn't wake up.


Hound and Mirage wandered through the orange halls of the Ark towards the Rec Room.

"So what did you think?" Hound inquired. Mirage just grunted.

"Oh come on," Hound continued, "You can't say it wasn't a little fun."

Mirage rolled his optics, a human habit he had picked up. "Fine, it was a little interesting. It certainly tested our concentration abilities. It was almost like a training exercise."

"Well when you put it that way, it doesn't seem as fun anymore." Hound chuckled.

"You asked for my opinion. Besides, I'm almost certain that Jazz probably has another scheme in mind."

Jazz, around the corner from the two conversing bots, leaned up against the wall. "You bet I do Mirage. Just you wait..."


A/N Well, what did you think? I got this little idea from the epically awesome fic Pheonix by The Starhorse. You should read it! Anyway, this is my first fic (Could you tell? I hope not...) and I'm a little nervous about uploading it, but what the heck. If you have any ideas on what game the Autobots should play next, I'm open to suggestions. I have a few in mind but... Hope you enjoyed it! Reviews are loved, criticism is appreciated, and flames will be given to Snarl as a prize for winning!