Title: Thank God for Strawberry Daiquiris

Genre: Humor

Rating: M (for overuse of curse words)

Warnings: EVERYTHING. JUST EVERYTHING.

Summary: Lelouch decides to drop by Suzaku's beauty salon for a visit and a trim, but receives a phone call that has both he and the brunet talking smack about Nina.

Disclaimer: I do not own Code Geass.

Serena: …nothing about this fanfiction went right. I uh…just nothing about this went right. Forgive me. (shot dead) Why am I posting this? amg

-x-x-x-x-

Lelouch pushed against the glass double doors with one perfectly manicured hand and they gave away to allow him entrance. The little bells attached above the doors chimed harmoniously and the sound echoed somewhat across the polished marble flooring.

He brushed a few locks of his raven-colored hair behind his ear while doing a sweep of the posh establishment with his eyes. He was dressed to the nines in lavish threads and glistening accessories that would have looked questionably gay on anyone else, but Lelouch had a natural talent for making anything work for him. He could wear whatever he pleased (regardless of how girly it might have looked) and he would still look just as gorgeously masculine as he always did. Perhaps his effeminate physical characteristics had something to do with this or perhaps he had inherited some innate modeling ability from his late mother, but whatever the reason, it didn't matter. Lelouch looked positively stunning (even now while wearing that pink blouse, form-fitting slacks, and studded belt around his waist).

He leaned on one side and placed a hand to his hip as he continued to survey the area.

Various shelves holding all assortments of hair products had been placed here and there for advertising purposes and the walls were lined with sink basins, salon chairs, and even a small waiting room off to the side. It didn't seem particularly busy today, but there was someone seated in the waiting room currently reading a magazine so it wasn't entirely empty. Even still, Lelouch didn't see the person he was searching for and that made his eyes narrow and his lips even formed something resembling a pout.

"Suzaku?" he called out in a huff.

"Eh? Oh! Lelouch!"

Lelouch turned at the response to see Suzaku walking out of a backroom with a pair of shears in one hand and an arm full of hair products in the other. He gave Lelouch a warm smile and a quick wink.

"Gimme a sec, will you?"

Lelouch merely nodded and plopped down into an empty salon chair.

"Take your time." Lelouch answered as he crossed one leg over the other and ran a hand through his hair.

For about twenty minutes or so, Suzaku was preoccupied with styling the hair of the waiting room sitter into something that complimented their face. He kept up a steady stream of chatter with the customer (asking this and that; like opinions on his progress or whether the customer would mind a slightly shorter style than usual) and the customer's hair gradually shaped itself into a lovely almost-bob that really did suit their face quite nicely.

Lelouch smiled. Others might have found watching all this boring, but not Lelouch. He loved watching Suzaku work.

"Alright, girl. You're good to go!" Suzaku said at last and the customer (after cooing over their appearance in delight) left with a wave and an extra spring in their step. "And now that I'm through with her…"

Lelouch stood up as Suzaku's gaze focused entirely on him and he began to walk over to the seat Suzaku was still standing behind.

"Look. At. You! Don't you look amazing!" Suzaku stated and before Lelouch could reach him, Suzaku crossed the remaining distance between them and swept Lelouch up into a tight embrace. "Just who did you dress so nicely for~?"

Lelouch smirked as he wrapped his arms around Suzaku's neck.

"Well, if memory serves, I was meeting an exotic foreigner for lunch today and I thought: oh! I should seduce him and make him mine! It's what all the girls are doing lately, isn't it~?"

Suzaku returned Lelouch's smirk with one of his own and he leant over to nip at Lelouch's ear.

"Mmmm. That lucky bastard." Suzaku replied. That earned a chuckle from Lelouch as well as a little nose nuzzle. "I'm a little jealous, but as your stylist, I cannot allow you to go on this scandalous rendezvous without making sure you look your absolute best!"

"Oooohhh~ You're so supportive of me!" Lelouch responded with an innocent smile and Suzaku chuckled.

"Alright, alright. Enough flirting." Suzaku stated somewhat reluctantly and he placed a gentle kiss to Lelouch's cheek before releasing him. "So, you wanted a trim, didn't you?"

Lelouch pouted a little at the loss of contact, but nodded as he made his way over to seat himself into the salon chair.

"Mainly the bangs." Lelouch clarified. "They've grown a bit too long for my tastes. As for the back, just the split ends will do."

Suzaku's eyebrows rose as he picked up a clean pair of shears.

"You? With split ends? Girl, please."

Lelouch scoffed.

"Even I am susceptible to bad hair days, Suzu!"

Suzaku let his fingers run through Lelouch's hair (unintentionally drawing out a pleasant little sigh from Lelouch) as he surveyed the supposed "damage" to Lelouch's ends. After a moment, Suzaku tsked and rolled his eyes.

"You have no split ends. I think that scandalous date you're attending later is putting unnecessary stress on you."

Lelouch's cheeks flushed and he opened his mouth to give some smartass retort, but Suzaku held up a hand.

"But I'll still trim some off the ends." Suzaku continued and he ran his hand through Lelouch's hair again. "It's getting a bit long anyway."

"…good. I want to look my best, after all."

Suzaku rolled his eyes again, but there was affection shining in his green eyes.

"But of course, mon ami~ I am an expert at my art, after all~"

This time, Lelouch was the one to roll his eyes.

"Again with the French? Just how many times a week do you attend to those models?" Lelouch asked and his lips were formed into a little pout. "Should I be…concerned?"

"Your dramatic effect pauses don't work on me, you know. Not with that fake innocence dripping of your voice." Suzaku stated with a chuckle.

Lelouch's pout turned a little more real at that, but he said nothing because Suzaku had his fingers running through his hair again and it felt so good that he leaned into the touch and purred. Suzaku smiled at that and began to hum as he attended to his latest customer.

A pleasant silence settled over the two of them as Suzaku worked, but it didn't last long. Approximately three minutes into this pleasant bonding experience, Lelouch's cell phone went off.

Lelouch blinked at the disruption and his eyes narrowed, but after taking a moment to recognize the ringtone (a bit of Mozart because Nunnally simply adored classical music), his features softened.

"Just a moment, Suzaku. It's Nunnally." Lelouch explained while reaching for his cell.

Suzaku merely smiled and held up in his work.

"Take your time."

"Nunnally?" Lelouch greeted in a soft voice he reserved for her and her alone.

"Trying to steal my man, are you?"

Lelouch blinked at the voice and he gasped as he recognized it. His eyes narrowed to a dangerous degree.

"What are you doing with Nunnally's cell phone?" Lelouch demanded.

Suzaku could only blink at that and his eyebrows furrowed in worry.

"Lelouch?" he questioned.

"Don't change the subject. I know you're after my man, Lamperouge!" the other person claimed. "I'm just issuing a warning. You come near my man again and you'll regret it, tramp!"

"Listen, bitch!" Lelouch shouted back and he was so angry that he was making wild gestures with his free hand. "Don't you call me on my damn phone just to accuse me of shit I didn't do! And how dare you use my little sister's phone to do it!"

"Bullshit! I know what you did and I know what you're trying to do!" the other person continued. "Just keep your scrawny, nonexistent ass far away from my man and I won't have to claw your eyes out!"

"Bitch, if you don't get off my sister's damn phone, I'll –"

But before Lelouch could finish with his threat, the phone line went dead and he was left to stare at it incredulously.

Suzaku's eyes had widened considerably as Lelouch's phone conversation had dragged on.

"What the hell was that all about?" Suzaku asked and he placed a hand on Lelouch's shoulder. "Lelouch? You alright, hun?"

Lelouch's eye twitched.

"That…that bitch hung up on me!" Lelouch exclaimed and he looked about three seconds away from tossing his phone to the ground. "Oooooo! I just want to drive a stake through her heart!"

Suzaku let the hand at Lelouch's shoulder drift around to cup his distressed friend's cheek and he brushed his thumb against the skin under Lelouch's eye in an attempt to calm him down.

"Lu, hey, what's going on?" the brunet asked. "Who was on the phone?"

Lelouch grimaced.

"Just that bitch Nina." he answered and although he was still upset, he leant in to Suzaku's inviting touch with a sigh. "She's always accusing me of shit. Now she's claiming that I'm after her man. As if I'd actually want Mao's creepy ass to begin with!"

Suzaku blinked at that and then his eyes narrowed into a look reminiscent of Lelouch's infamous glares.

"Girl, don't be talking about that bitch up in here!" Suzaku said and he let his hand slip away so that he could set it against his hip. He blew a bubble with the gum he was chewing on and let it pop before continuing. "I have more problems from that bitch than I know what to do with! That girl…oooo, that bitch walks up in here, insults my damn salon, and then expects me to do something for her hair? And now she's insulting you? Aw, hell no! I'll pop a cap in her ass!"

"You know that bitch, too?" Lelouch asked in surprise.

Suzaku nodded his head and growled.

"I hear too many stories about that girl! She does shit like this all the time!"

"I know! And I mean, Mao? Really?" Lelouch added in disgust. "She's so xenophobic it's sickening! If they aren't Britannian, they aren't worth shit to her! How the fuck did she end up with Mao? And why would I want his creepy ass when I'm already taken?"

Suzaku nodded his head in agreement and blew another bubble only to let it pop again.

"I know, right? If that bitch ever calls you again, you tell her I'll put a cap in her ass! No one upsets my baby and lives to sit their ass down painlessly!"

Suzaku took a moment to take a deep breath before letting it out in a long sigh. After taking another moment to reign in his rage, he smiled and continued.

"You know what? Let's go ahead and go on that date. You look like you could use a daiquiri. This place down the street has the best strawberry ones a girl has ever tasted. You still up for lunch, mom ami?"

Lelouch, despite his anger, looked oddly touched by that proclamation and simultaneous offer.

"…oh yes. I'd love a daiquiri."

-x-x-x-x-

Serena: amg I need to end this before it drags on any more! …amg…what is even this? I…I'm so sorry. I just don't…this was supposed to be something else entirely. But then Lelouch walked in all fabulous-like and Suzaku was suddenly popping gum and then Nina just up and calls and…everything just went wrong in my brain after that. Do I dare ask for reviews? orz