Final Vocaloid 2

In another rather arbitrary dungeon, our main characters progress with some half-arsed plot-line that doesn't really make much logical sense when examined.

Luka: "But none of your stories have plot-lines which make logical sense."

The serious ones do! Well... kinda...

Anyway, the point is that they were on another grand adventure.

Luka: "I wouldn't call it 'grand' myself."

Are you going to complain about everything I say? Wait... I asked you that last time... I give up.

Luka: "Oh, good."

Miku: "So... what are we doing again?"

Len: "Don't you remember? We're here to defeat the evil dragon of evilness!"

Miku: "Uh... are we?"

Len: "Weren't you listening to any of the pre-dungeon exposition by that NPC?"

Miku: "Look, I tuned out after the words 'Dragon's Cave.' As long as we knew where we were going, I was sure we'd be fine."

Len: "And this is why you're never prepared for the fights!"

Miku: "I am prepared! I brought plenty of fire-resistant gear!"

Rin: "Miku, this dragon has an ice breath."

Miku: "Oh... well then I have an anti-dragon shield!"

Len: "It's also not actually a dragon, it's a misnomer."

Miku: "Oh... but this is a video game! If something's called a dragon, I expect it to be a dragon!"

Len: "Yes, but remember, life hates you."

Miku: "Well in that case, my anti-dragon shield should work on it anyway, 'cause it's a misnomer, and it actually protects against poorly named monsters!"

Luka: "Miku, I don't think that's how it works."

Miku: "Well it should be! Oh well, at least I still have my ridiculously overpowered weapon."

Luka: "Yes... that would be useful... if the not-a-dragon weren't immune to physical damage!"

Miku: "When did they start putting useful information in the exposition?"

Len: "I think it was 'Almost the Last Fantasy 17-2.'"

Miku: "Well screw them..."

Luka: "Miku that's not very nice..."

Miku: "...Hard, from behind. Without cessation, for hours and hours."

Rin: "Miku, mental image. Not a good one."

Miku: "At the risk of sounding like a certain redhead, am I bovered?"

Len: "Yes, yes you are."

Miku: "I hate you guys sometimes."

Rin: "And we hate you too."

Miku: "Well if that's the case, I'm leaving!" Begins to storm off, but suddenly...

Evil Dragon of Evilness: "Oh? Are you going somewhere?"

Miku: "Um... oh... er..." Staring up at the black dragon that's about ten times taller than her, "Oh... well... you see..." Edging away.

Dragon: "For the record, we're in combat."

Miku: "Then why aren't you attacking us?"

Dragon: "Because it's not my turn yet, obviously."

Miku: "Oh... yeah... um... whose turn is it?"

Rin: "Mine! Now dragon, fear me!"

Turn: Rin, Attacks Dragon. Inflicts 1 damage.

Rin: "Damn you and your immunity to physical... which means attacks do 1 damage..."

Turn: Miku.

Miku: "Fortunately, I used to be a Summoner, but then I took an Onion to the Knighthood."

Miku: Summon Ifrit.

Miku: "I call thee, djinn of flame!"

Ifrit: "Sorry, I'm not in right now, please leave a message after the tone."

A loud bleep resounds.

Miku: "The f***?"

Turn: Luka, Casts Firagarutefalamiraketsu. Inflicts 120 damage.

Luka: "Take that! How much HP left?"

Len: "Um... 999,880/100,0000"

Luka: "Oh... shit."

Turn: Len, Casts Holy. Inflicts 60 damage.

Turn: Dragon, uses Ice breath. Everyone takes 3 damage.

Luka: "Well... that was shit."

Dragon: "I put all my level-up abilities into hit points!"

Miku: "Great... a ridiculously long battle..."

Three hours later...

Turn: Rin, attack, Inflicts 1 damage.

Rin: "How much more hp?"

Len: "Uh... 234."

Miku: "Right, time for my ultimate summon..."

Turn: Miku, Summon Ultima.

Miku: "Now taste the wrath of the high seraph!"

Nothing happens.

Miku: "Ultima... where the hell are you!"

Ultima: Appearing, "Oh sorry about that. I'd just got out of the shower when you called."

Miku: "Fine, fine. Now just destroy that not-actually-a-dragon!"

Ultima: "Goodness, why does it always have to be 'Destroy this monster,' 'Destroy that monster.' It's you summoners' fault that I've earned the title 'Bloody Angel.'"

Miku: "Looks, when I made the pact of summoning, I was told I could 'Command the forces of the world,' so I'm going to give you some bloody commands, and you will like it!"

Ultima: "Fine, whatever."

Inflicts 500 damage. Dragon is dead.

Miku: "Wahoo! Battle over."

Ultima: "Such mindless carnage, and for what? Why must this happen?"

Miku: "Okay, you can go now."

Ultima disappears, shaking her head sadly.

Len: "Er... dungeon complete?"

Rin: "You said that last time."

Len: "It's still true."

Miku: "Okay, let's just take the treasure, leave and go get whatever our reward was."

Luka: "Miku, we agreed to do this for free."

Miku: "Why?"

Luka: "Because the people who needed our help were poor and..."

Miku: "And it was in the exposition?"

Luka: "Yes."

Miku: Staring at them, then sighing, "Fine... let's... just go..."

A/N: A second chapter by (semi-)popular demand. But that's it, I'm out of ideas for this, so if you want more of this style of comedy, go read Adventures of the Writer, my 90k+ word story which is like this, but longer, and in my opinion better. *Self-advertising over.*

Bis Bald