Swing Life Away by Rise Against. The song that inspired this fanfiction. Basically what happened was, I fell asleep last night with that song playing on repeat, and I had this beautiful dream of Bam and a girl with red hair (Hayley Williams, the girl in all my stories) on the porch at Castle Bam swinging on a porch swing. I was like, I have to write a Bam FF now. I just have to. So, I did. Its an anti-Jenn story, so if you like her, gtfo. The first chapter is set in episode 1 of season 1 of Viva La Bam.


Chapter 1: Indoor Skatepark

I've got friends in
highly low places,
It's been a long time.
~Forever The Sickest Kids

Olive's POV:

Wellllllllll, kyle's mom's a bitch, she's a big fat bitch, she's the biggest bitch in the whole wide world, she's a stupid bitch if there ever was a bitch, she's a big, big, big, big, big bitch.

At 5:30 A.M. I was awoken by the sound of my obnoxious Cartman ringtone. I was about to smash my phone into a million tiny fucking goddamn peices, but then I saw the Caller ID.

Bam-Bam calling.

"Oh my fucking god, its Bam!" I nearly pissed myself with excitement. I hadn't talked to Bam in a year.

In the midst of my flailing, I knocked my cell phone off of my bed-stand, and rolled off my bed and answered it as quickly as I could.

"Hello?" I asked into it, extremely embarrassed because I was slightly out of breath, and it was probably evident.

"Hey Ollie, it's Bam."

His amazing voice practically melted my phone.

"Oh, hey. Sup, Bam?" I asked, trying my best to be cool.

"Well, today is our first day of filming Viva La Bam. Remember I told you MTV offered me a new show? Tomorrow we're gonna be building an indoor skatepark. Your bro will be coming tomorrow. I figured you'd probably come with him, but I was hoping you could come a bit early and maybe..." He explained, but then trailed off.

"Maybe what?" I asked.

"Maybe you could just move to west chester and be in the show. I know its a lot to ask, and you can have a while to think about it, but just pack a bag for a week, and if you decide to stay, we'll all help you move. What do you say?" He sounded hopeful. Really, really hopeful.

Be cool, Oliver Leigh Hawk.

"Yeah, that sounds good. It'll probably be a yes, anyways. Don't have much going for me in the Cali area." I said.

"Oh yeah? What about the acting career. You were really funny in that movie with those two dudes you grew up with, uhh, Jorma and Andy? Hot Rod! That was hilarious. And you and those four dudes you kinda have a band with. You guys should record some stuff."

I rolled my eyes. "Hot Rod was fun, but I won't ever have a serious acting career. I did get a best friend is Isla out of it though. And I've been thinking about a band."

"Well, that sounds awesome. I guess I'll see you later today." He said.

"Totally... but wait, what time is it there?" I asked.

"6 a.m." He laughed

My eyes bulged. "Jesus, I suppose it is. Why up so early Bam-Bam?" I asked.

"Oh, you'll see when you get here." He laughed.

I raised an eyebrow. "Alright. I'll see you in a few hours. Can't wait."

"Me either! Bye!"

He hung up.

I felt my mouth drop open as I let out a scream, and I started to jump on my bed. I dug out my suitcase and began stressing.

I felt myself worrying over stupid things that I normally never worried over. Like how I hadn't gotten my roots touched up, or how I had gained a little weight, or what I should pack.

When I realized how pathetic I was being, and rolled my eyes at myself and went back to bed. It was 5 in the morning. I didn't need to get ready yet. I didn't need to worry about any of that shit anyways. I was Olive Hawk, or, as Tony nicknamed me Ollie (I'm a skater, how appropriate is that?). Bam's best friend.

I woke up again at 8, and threw in all my favorite shirts into my suitcase, no matter how old or new they were, and all my jeans. The rest of the bag held my flip flops, pj's, and underwear. I brought my giant stuffed clifford since it was my favorite, and I really couldn't live without it, and my skateboard, and packed my laptop after I had reserved tickets. Being Tony Hawk's sister, I was blessed with an amazing skating mentor, and by the age of 8 I was the first female pro, so with my wad of cash in the bank, it was fairly easy to buy first class.

I pinned my hair with bobby pins on the side of my head, with loose strands falling, and just wore some skinny jeans and my joy division shirt. As much as I hate to admit it, I wore UGG boots. At first, I was completely against them. I swore on my life that I'd never once be seen in them, but I borrowed my friend Dakotah's, and the softness of them almost killed me.

But I still would never, ever, ever wear them with shorts. I wasn't that fucking stupid.

I was on the plane by 10 in the morning and was in Philidelphia by Noon, and none other than Raab Himself was there to pick me up.

"Your chariot awaits, My lady." He gave me a big smile as he took my bag, but letting me keep Clifford and my skateboard.

"Thanks Raab." I said, and put my other stuff in the backseat, and gave Raab a hug.

"Been forever." Raab said as we got in the car. I put on my seat belt.

"Feels like it, huh Raaby?" I laughed.

He let me run his iPod, and I was surprised.

"All the music I put on is still on here!" I exclaimed excitedly.

"You've got really good taste. As much as I feel gay admitting it, but as soon as I heard All American Rejects, I immeadiatly had a crush on the singer, just because of his voice."

That made me laugh, and I played Dirty Little Secret just for Raab.

The two hours in the car with Raab was fun, but I really wanted to see Bam, and obviously needed to stretch my legs. We finally reached Concord Township, and as I emerged from the car, I yawned violently and stretched.

"Nice tummy, there Olive." I heard a familiar voice from behind. I turned to see my bearded buddy, Ryan Dunn on the other side of the car.

"Ryan!" My eyes brightened as I ran around the car to hug him

"How's it going, short stuff?" He asked, kissing my cheek, and his beard tickled my cheek.

I stuck my tongue out at him. He laughed and waved for me to come with him. "Bam's inside."

I felt my heart race increase. I bit my lip in anticipation. I knew I needed to get rid of the lip biting habbit, it wasn't attractive, and wasn't good for my lips.

I followed Ryan and Raab into the air-conditioned house, a nice change from the hot, muggy August air. Bam, April, Phil, Don Vito and Dico were all sitting at the dining room table.

Bam's eyes sparkled as he saw me, and leaped up over the table and tackled me to the ground.

"You're here!" He kissed my cheek.

I let out a loud giggle, caught completely off guard.

"Missed you too, Bam-Bam." I said, my voice shaking with laughter.

He smiled and helped me up.

"I'm so glad you came!" He hugged me again. I hugged back.

"Thanks for inviting me." I smiled.

April got up and shoved Bam back playfully. "Don't be hogging all the hugs!" She laughed.

I hugged her. "Missed you so much, Ape."

"I missed you too, sweetie!" She kissed my forehead.

I gave Phil a hug around his neck from behind, not wanting to make him get up. I hugged Dico the Freako next. I didn't really want to hug Vito at all, so I just waved at him.

"Hi Don Vito." I smiled.

"YO! Iz at been 2 years, now yer a nice girl! Lookat at Bam, she's a ten!" Vito yelled in his usual blur of words, and that's what I made out of it.

I let out a tiny laugh, and got serious and slapped the back of his head, sending everyone into a fit of laughter as Vito started yelling.

"Come on, Olive, let's go. Gotta show you why we were up so early." Bam waved me along. We all followed him up the stairs into his room.

On his bed sat a very beautiful blonde girl, with her hair in a high ponytail. She had on a yellow tanktop with red straps, and blue capris, and a pair of high heels. She looked at me and smiled.

Please don't let her be who I think she is.

"Oh, Olive. This is my girlfriend Jenn." He introduced me to the absoloutly beautiful girl.

Fuck. My. Life. With. A. Rock. Hard. Dildo.

"Nice to meet you, Jenn." I said as nicely as I could muster up.

Dunn looked at me sympathetically. He knew about my crush.

"Nice to meet you too, Olive." She said, smiling. "Cute name." She told me.

"Thanks." I said.

She smiled.

I couldn't help but smile back. God, why did she have to be so fucking nice?

"Check it out, Olive." Bam yanked on my sleeve to get my attention. I looked and saw a shiny metal pole go through a giant hole in the floor.

"A fire pole? Now you're getting crazy on this shit!" I said.

"Try it!" He urged me.

"Hell no!" I said.

Jenn laughed. "I'll do it with you."

I smiled and we both grabbed the pole and slid down, even though my heart was sick. I could feel it going from happy, bright red, to depressed and rotting brown and green.

Bam smiled at me from above, and slid down the pole. Dunn, Dico, Rake and Raab did it next, and then they wanted Phil to do it.

"This is fucking nuts!" Phil said.

"DO IT!" Bam screamed.

"It has a weight restriction, Phil." Tim Glomb, building person guy extrodinaire warned him.

"Oh, it does?" He asked.

"Yeah."

"Alright, so I'm free and clear then, right?" He asked, relieved.

"Its about a thousand pounds." Glomb said, crushing Phil's hopes.

"Oh, I gotta gain some weight." Phil said, making me laugh.

Bam went up to 'Persuade' him into going, and he finally did, and he loved it, and went down more than once.

Bam and Dunn were out in the front lawn, and I decided to unpack my stuff into the guest room.

"So do you think you'll stay? In West Chester, I mean. For the show?" Jenn appeared in the doorway.

"Yeah, I think so." I said.

"Do you mind if I come in and hang out for a bit? Bam's been stressing me all day." She laughed.

"Of course not, come on in." I moved my suitcase off the bed.

"So, you and Bam have been close for a while now, huh?" She asked, a little bit out of the blue. I wondered if she was just making light conversation, or if there was a deeper meaning.

"Um... I'm 17 now, and we've known each other since I was 13, so about 4 years." I said.

She popped her lips. "I was just wondering... and I don't have anything against you, I'm just his wondering girlfriend, but do you have a crush on him?" She asked. "Before you jump to conclusions, I'm not a hateful and spiteful bitch, so if you do, just tell me." She said.

"No, no. I don't." I completely lied through my fucking teeth.

"Okay, sorry if I made you feel weird, I just needed to know." She laughed.

"Don't apologize, its really not a big deal." I said.

"Okay." She smiled. "Do you want some help unpacking?" She asked.

"Um... Sure. Can you put my bathroom stuff on the counter in there?" I asked. I thought it was pretty cool I had my own bathroom.

"Absoloutly." She hopped up off the bed, and grabbed the bag from my hands.

I really did like Jenn, but this was killing me. Why wouldn't Bam have the decency to let me know before I got my hopes up. I didn't know how long he and Jenn had been together, but he could have at least told me. After all, I was his "best girl friend."

I sighed, closing the dresser drawer a little harder than I should have, because it caught Jenn's attention as she walked out of the bathroom.

"Something wrong, Olive?" She asked.

"Um... I, uh... Not really. Just in a fight with one of my triplet brothers." I actually wasn't lying. Patrick and I had been fighting over the past 3 months... but I didn't want to dwell on that.

"You're a triplet? Thats so cool." She smiled. She offered me her hand to go outside where everyone else was.

I really didn't want to be friends with her, she was dating the only guy I've EVER had a crush on, but I couldn't help but take it. Why, oh why was she making this so difficult?

We found Bam and the rest of the guys, giving me an excuse to ditch her hand and plop on Dunn's lap. He smiled and wrapped his arms around my waist.

"Your hair is so bad." I told him.

"I know." He said. "Isn't it great?" He laughed.

I rolled my eyes. "How's Angie doing?" I asked.

"Awesome. You should come with me to her house for dinner on friday." He suggested.

"Sure, I'd totally Lo-" I was cut off by Bam yanking me up.

"Come on, Ollie! I need your help with something!" He yelled directly in my face.

I laughed. "Alright, alright. Keep it in your pants, bro."

He pulled me along after him, into the house. He turned to me and shushed me.

"We gotta be sneaky." He told me.

"Okay." I whispered back.

We tiptoed into the kitchen, and Bam grabbed a pair of keys off the hook, and led me into the garage, where Dico and another cameraman for the show were waiting.

"We got the keys to Phil's Van!" He said into the camera, and he pulled me out into the drive way and He, Dico and I got into the van.

I sat on Dico's lap in the front as we drove to Norco Auto Salvage. Dico put the seat belt over both of us as Bam accelerated into the driveway of the junk yard and crashed into an old beater.

"Is this where you wanted it?" Bam asked the Auto Salvage owners, who didn't look as amused as we were.

The car made a yuk-yuk-yuk-yuk-yuk sound as Bam tried to start it again.

"Dude, it won't start! No more Van." He laughed and got out. Dico unbuckled us and we got out too.

The Van was picked up and smashed back down with a bulldozer.

"I want everything on the car to be jacked." He said, half into the camera, half to me.

I watched in horror and amusement as Phil's beloved van was completely obliterated.

Bam handed me a sledgehammer, and I immeadiatly shook my head no.

"Oh, come on Ollie! You know you want too!" He coaxed me into it.

I sighed, but smiled, and smashed the back window. "There. That's all I'm doing. Unlike you, I love Phil."

He laughed, and Him, Dico and the Bull Dozer continued with the rampage.

"Time for delivery!" Bam soon announced. The bull dozer put the Van up onto a trailer, and the truck pulled away.

"I think I changed my mind, I want it back." Bam said.

Dico gave him a look, but I knew he was joking. Dico got it and laughed.

4 P.M.

I lay on the couch with my feet up on Don Vito's shoulder, watching TV with him and Phil. It was so easy to feel at home here. Chilling with the fat boys almost made me forget about my broken heart. I slowly felt myself changing from myself, into a motherfucking clam shell.

April came into the living room. "Have you seen the Van keys? Cause I haven't seen 'em."

"Gettin'ready to go somewhere?" Vito asked, unusually understandable.

"Lets go to the post office before they close."

Bam and I followed Vito, Phil and Ape outside. I really did feel bad for Phil, but I knew he'd like how it ended.

"Holy Christ, Phil. Wait til you see this." Vito saw it first.

Ape gasped. "Oh my god!"

Phil was finally bummed. "I love that Van, are you nuts?"

After a few moments of Ape's surprisedness and anger, Vito's stupidity, and Phil's silent depression, we heard the sound of a car driving up.

"We got you a new ride, Phil." Bam announced, and in the driveway turned a brand new Blue Chevy SUV.

"No, you're kiddin'" Ape said.

"You like that, Phil?" Bam asked.

"Yeah." Phil said, and kissed Bam on the cheek.

He started to walk towards it.

"Is this for real, or is it gonna blow the hell up?" He asked.

Ape kept asking and insisting it was a joke. "Is it stolen?"

Phil got right in it and rolled the window down, obviously happy.

"You like it?" Bam asked again.

"Yeah, we'll keep it." Phil stated.

"Bam! You can do somethin' to my truck while I'm gone! I'll take one a these too!" Vito called from the passenger seat.

Bam turned to me with a tiny smile.

"Couldn't help it, huh?" I rolled my eyes with a smile.

"So much for hellday, huh?" He laughed and shook his head.

He walked past me and into the house. I sighed, watching him hop up the steps, and Jenn following him. I pinched the bridge of my nose. This sucked. Jenn was living the life I should have been. She didn't deserve Bam. I know she sure as hell didn't love him as much as I did.

6:38 P.M.

I sat on the counter with Dico watching him play his gameboy, and I sat wondering why he, Bam and Dunn were wearing sunglasses inside. Ryan was nibbling here and there at a peach, and had just hung up his phone when Bam approached his peach and pulled the plate closer to the edge of the counter. He slowly put his butt to it, and Dunn's face fell.

"Man, why'd you fart on my peach?" Dunn asked, so obviously depressed about his beloved peach.

"It wasn't a proper one, so it doesn't count." Bam laughed.

"That wasn't a proper one? What did you want to happen?" Dunn asked.

"I wanted it to sound more like this." Bam turned his butt to the peach again and let a huge fart rip, sending us all into fits of laughter. I fell off the counter, which cause Bam to double over and fall on the floor too.

The laugh attack Dico and I both had lasted for about the rest of the night. I helped Ape cook dinner, and whenever Dico walked in, I'd burst into laughter, and so would he. Then we'd gain control again, and loose it. Dico and I did that a lot before too.

I was still giggling and humming when I went to bed that night, happy and content with my desicion to stay permanently. It wasn't until Bam poked his head in to say goodnight until it really hit me.

I started crying. Well, it wasn't crying as much as it was violently sobbing. I was glad my room was too far away for anyone to hear. I was devastated. I couldn't do this for however long the show would be. Hell, I doubted I'd last the week Bam wanted me here.

I didn't go to sleep until 5 A.M.

The next morning, I woke up at 9ish, getting a full 4 hours of sleep. The smell of breakfast foods woke me up.

I took a 5 minute shower, and put some mousse in my long cherry red hair, and put on my favorite sweatshirt ever. It had bullwinkle on it and it said Watssamatta U. Short for Watssamatta University, only with Bull Winkle's catch phrase. Tony had bought it for me when I was 14. It was pretty fucking awesome. I paired it with a pair of dark blue skinny jeans with slightly faded knees, and decided to barefoot it. I knew I'd be skating later today though, so I put my shoes on my bed where they would be easily found.

I headed down the stairs, kind of smelling my hair. I always did when I got out of the shower, but alone in my apartment all the way in Cali I didn't really have to be all that subtle. Here, they would think I belonged on the third floor if they saw me shoving my hair up my nostrils. But it did smell good... Like sweet pea.

Ape bid me a good morning and told me to go sit at the table, and that breakfast was almost done. I smiled and went to sit in between Dico and Ryan at the table. After we had all eaten, the rest of them sat around the table, chatting about things I didn't care about. I just sat and listened quietly. I tried my best not to look at Jenn, who was blatantly staring at me while I looked at Bam. I think she found out that I was lying to her, because she wasn't all smiley at me anymore.

"Jenn, can I get your help in the kitchen for just a sec?" Ape asked her.

"Sure." She said, her eyes not leaving me. She got out of her chair and turned, looking back at me again.

I swallowed thickly.

Well, at least we'll be enimies now. Like God intended.

Jesus, listen to me.

Why am I so selfish?

I refused to be a homewrecker. Even though, as I had found out, they'd only been dating for 2 months. Before then, they had just been friends.

So no one could really blame me.

Besides... I was way cooler than her. Sure, she had big tits, and nice hair, but her face resembled a fucking chipmunks.

Damn it! Shut up! You aren't like this... You have a giant gap between your teeth, so shut up!

I rubbed my eyes and sighed in frustration.

Everyone averted their attention to me. Especially Bam. He acted as if he and I were the ones who were together. Why was he always so happy when he was around me? I was starting to get sick of it.

Really sick of it.

"What's up, Ollie?" Bam asked, genuinly concerened.

Filled with false hope that made me more depressed, I brushed it off, and I changed the subject, emersing myself into the conversation.

Ape and Phil were off to Atlantic City around 11, and Raab, Dico, and Rake went with them, and I was left with Dunn, Jenn, Vito and Bam. Bam called Glomb over, and Glomb brought Ramps and building buddies.

I sat on the couch with Vito, watching quietly as all the commotion unfolded before my eyes, with Jenn flipping out about April's stuff, and Dunn with a hammer because he was bound to break something, which he did. Jenn gave him a job of carrying one tiny little trinket, and he completely destroyed it.

"Dude, this is like a really nice house and we're just shredding it up with skate ramps!" I laughed.

Me and Don Vito watched the weather, and there was news of heavy, heavy rain coming down today and tomorrow. Bam decided to put up tarps.

Me and Bam went to go get My brother, Bucky Lasek, Jesse Fritch, and Kevin Staab from the airport in a limo. My brother was really happy to see me, and I, deep down, couldn't wait to totally show Jenn up with my skating skills. I was almost as good as my brother, and better than Bam. Even Bam addmitted it.

All the guys were amazed at the Indoor/outdoor trasition park that Glomb had built. It was pretty much heaven for all of us skaters.

I was the first one to make it up over the mantle peice, and then Bam and I did it together, and then me and my brother went together, and Tony put a chip in the ceiling. Jenn kept giving me the evil eye, but I was having way to much to give a fuck what that Mary-Sue thought of me.

It really started to pour down rain later in the day.

But we shred it up anyways. I was the only girl there besides Jenn, and I was the only one doing anything impressive. Sure, I may not have been as hot as Jenn, but I was better than all the guys here except my brother, and I was the only girl pro who could pull a McTwist.

When April came home, she cried, and freaked out, and cried more in Bam's shoulder, then she started laughing, and then her and Phil both punched holes in the wall.

It was pretty amazing.

I went to bed that night, happy that I showed Jenn completely up. She couldn't compete with a 17 year old girl doing a McTwist in a fuckin' bullwinkle sweatshirt.

I was just about to hop into bed when a knock was heard on the door. I raised an eyebrow, and went to answer it.

Jenn stood at it, with her arms crossed.

"What do you want, we're closed?" I asked.

"I heard you bawling last night. I peeked in after you fell asleep and saw a picture of you and my Bam beside you. So do you want to tell me the truth on your feelings about Bam?" She said, her eyes narrowed.

"Fine. I've been in love with Bam since I first met him. I'm not going to steal him away from you, Jenny-Poo. But I won't be able to help it if he falls in love with me." I said, in an innocent voice.

"Bam would never fall in love with you." She sneered.

"Oh, no? Watch his behavior around me, Jenn." I stated plainly.

"Just don't try anything stupid, bitch. Bam is mine." She said through her teeth.

"I know that. Thats why I said I won't try to steal him. But I won't be able to do anything if he falls in love with me by himself. So don't worry your pretty little mind about it." I smiled sweetly.

"You're signing a death warrent, Olive." She hissed.

"Nighty-night, cunt." I said in an innocent voice, and slammed the door in her face.

"UGH!" I heard her scream, and stomp down the hallway.

I smirked to myself. I wasn't one for catfights, I didn't like being a bitch, but Jenn deserved it.

I just had to keep telling myself that to justify what I was doing...


Well, I like it so far. Its satisfing my need to get that dream onto computer screen. It was a really beautiful dream. and I will be putting that in later on in the story, obviously. I mean, it was the whole reason I'm writing this.