A/N: Spice here again. Go muse go! I'm on a roll! Yeah, right, that'll last... Well anyway, I know I said FLUFFY ShunUki, but, I guess my muse is really into humor at the moment. A fluffy story (and or a smutty one) will show up eventually, I promise!
Oh, drugged Jyuu, why are you so adorable?
"Jyuu-chaaaan, I've brought your new bottle of medicine!"
Jyuushiro looked up from his desk with a frown. "Wonderful," he muttered, turning back to his paperwork. "Not now, Shunsui."
"Ne, Jyuushiro, what's the matter?" Shunsui asked, "You're always so good about taking your medication."
"I hate that one," Jyuushiro said with a dark look towards the bottle in Shunsui's hand, "It makes me see rainbows."
"Eh…rainbows, Jyuu-chan?" Shunsui said, tilting his head in puzzlement.
"Yes," said Jyuushiro, signing his name on a form and setting it aside, "Rainbows."
Shunsui gave a snort of amusement and disbelief, carefully measuring out Jyuushiro's dose and advancing on him. Jyuushiro looked up, mild alarm coloring his eyes. "Shunsui," he said in an effort to sound firm, "I said no."
"Nonsense," Shunsui insisted, brandishing the spoon full of thick brown liquid menacingly, "It'll make you feel better."
"I feel fine," Jyuushiro said, scrambling out of his seat to escape the slow advance of the eighth division's captain, "I'm not taking that now."
They circled each other warily around the desk. "Jyuu…" Shunsui said warningly, "You need to take your medicine."
"No!" Jyuushiro cried, chocolate eyes wide with an expression near to panic.
Shunsui lunged. Jyuushiro bolted. And brown goop splattered across the neatly stacked papers on the desk.
"Ah, damn," Shunsui sighed, running a hand over his messy curls as he felt Jyuushiro's reiatsu fading into the distance, "Retsu's gonna kill me."
He needn't have worried. When he tracked down Jyuushiro's uncharacteristic choppy ocean reiatsu, Shunsui discovered him in the clutches of the infernal woman herself. "Shunsui!" Jyuushiro cried plaintively, struggling in Unohana's vice-like arm lock, "Please help me!"
Shunsui hesitated, his gaze flicking between his friend and the woman restraining him.
"I'm sorry I call you lazy and complain about your drinking and always tell Nanao where you're hiding and call your facial hair messy and sometimes steal your hat—"
"I should have known," Shunsui muttered, "You always were jealous of how great it looked on me."
"That's not the point!" Jyuushiro snapped, flailing his arms desperately, "Please save me!"
"Are you quite finished with this silly temper tantrum, Ukitake-san?" Unohana said in the sudden lapse of Jyuushiro's pleas. "Now, Kyoraku-san, if you'll just hold him still for a moment…?" she asked with a smile. The hairs on the back of Shunsui's neck stood on end, and with an apologetic glance in Jyuushiro's direction, he moved to do her bidding. Jyuushiro had obviously given up all hope of escape, and hung limply in Shunsui's arms and Unohana forced several spoonfuls of the brown glop into his mouth. "There," she said with a genuinely sweet smile, patting the top of Jyuushiro's head as if her were a small child, "That wasn't so bad, now was it? Thank you for your help, Kyoraku-san."
Jyuushiro looked up into Shunsui's face. "She scares me," he whispered.
Shunsui bent his head down to Jyuushiro's ear. "She scares me too!"
If Unohana noticed this little exchange, she didn't let on.
"Well, Jyuu," Shunsui said, releasing his hold on his friend, "We should get you back, you could probably use some rest." Jyuushiro nodded somewhat dazedly, took one step, and fell on his face.
"Oh dear," Unohana sighed, "That kicked in fast."
Shunsui ran to Jyuushiro's side and helped him unsteadily to his feet. "Dammit, Jyuu," he cursed, "Warn me next time, will you?"
"Oooh," said Jyuushiro, scrutinizing Shunsui's pink kimono with unfocused chocolate eyes, "I have never met a flower that could speak before!"
Shunsui sighed and ran a hand down his face. "Ah…yeah. Come on handsome, let's get you home to bed."
"I'll come with you," Unohana said quietly. "I'd like to keep an eye on him, and I can assist if necessary."
Jyuushiro made a sound of delight as Shunsui lifted him into his strong arms, and buried his face in Shunsui's shoulder with a happy sigh. "I like you," he mumbled, clutching a handful of the pink kimono, "You're pretty. And nice."
Shunsui chuckled and kissed the top of his head. "I love you too my Jyuu-chan, even when you're loopy."
They were just around the corner from the thirteenth division barracks when Jyuushiro stiffened suddenly in Shunsui's arms, looking wildly over his shoulder. "Jyuushiro?" Shunsui questioned.
"The rainbows," Jyuushiro said hoarsely, balling his fists in the front of Shunsui's haori, "They're following me again!"
"Again, hmm? Shunsui said drily, shooting a dark sideways glance at Unohana.
"Don't let them catch me," Jyuushiro begged, hiding his face in Shunsui's chest. "They come with their colors and the colors are everywhere and I DO NOT LIKE ORANGE. Violet is nice, though," he allowed.
It took every ounce of Shunsui's willpower not to laugh. A soft sound to his left indicated that Unohana was not so restrained. Her shoulders shook with silent mirth and she pressed her hand to her mouth to stifle her giggles. "Almost there," Shunsui assured the still rambling man in his arms.
"Don't let the rainbows in," Jyuushiro said sternly as they stepped across the threshold into the office.
Shunsui grinned and gently lowered his friend to his feet. "Don't worry, I won't."
Jyuushiro glanced warily around the room, and apparently finding it satisfactorily rainbow free, headed for his room, swaying dangerously. "Whoa there, tiger," Shunsui lunged forward and caught his elbow, "Careful now." He guided the wobbly captain (who had now begun to ponder the lack of the color green in house pets) down the hall to his room, changed him into a thin cotton sleeping yukata (he wondered at the practicality of turning Kuchiki Byakuya into a fish), and tucked him into bed. (He muttered about the legitimacy of turnips.)
"Shunsui!" he cried as the bigger man got up to leave, lunging forward to grab his wrist, "Don't let the rainbows get me, okay?"
Shunsui looked into Jyuushiro's wide, worried gaze and smiled, pushing him back down and tucking the blankets up to his chin. "Don't worry Jyuu-chan," he patted Jyuushiro's hand and kissed his forehead, "I'll always protect you."
"Hey, Retsu-san," Shunsui said as he stepped out into the office, "I'd appreciate it if you didn't double dose him out of spite next time, ne?"
She cocked her head with an innocent smile. "I don't know what you're talking about."