I don't own Twilight action figurines. I only own the sandbox

This idea came when I was watching Paul and its very different from what I'm used to. No dark angst or anything so...yup.

Summary: It's about a boy called Edward Cullen, one of the many fans of the Elementi Saga, a series of books that have taken the nerd world by storm. It's about how Edward takes a package holiday with three of his other equally devoted friends. It's about how he meets Isabella Swan on this holiday. She works behind the bar in the local pub. It's about how he instantly is besotted with her.

Too bad she doesn't give a toss about Elementi and has a few issues of her own i.e. oppressive and rather large ex-boyfriend who as a tendency of bollocking any boy who tries to go near her…

So please read and tell me what you think

Prologue

The Elementi saga was a series of books that shook the world of geeks and nerds alike. It was awe-inspiring, breath-taking, life-changing and other equally amazing words. It spawned an entire new culture, rivalling the culture of the space nerds and the vampire wannabes. It started the near constant battle between the Lord Of the Rings followers and Elementi followers, as they crusaded harder than the original Knight's Templar about which series of books were better.

There's no denying that Elementi was the stuff of nerd heaven.

It followed the story of Drawde and his circle of mercenaries, plundering the lands of Forksonia, defeating evil forces, saving distressed cities and their damsels and following the advice of wise old wizards with big sticks.

Drawde himself was a Prince from the Northern Realm of Lission who, for the entire series, searches for vengeance for the horrific death of his family, with his blood brothers in tow: Iaspis and Mete. He is strong, he is skilled and he is fearless.

And he has the most beautiful warrior princess as his girlfriend. Isa Olor, Princess of the Shining Waters and part Fey, was renowned for her astounding beauty, her excellent skills in the ways of combat and how she required very little armour (indeed, for male nerds and even a few of the female ones, this is nearly always seen as her best trait). She and Drawde, amongst all of their bloody and dangerous adventures are deeply in love, thus appealing to the female population of the extensive fan base.

For a true Elementi fan, you would know that this was born from the mind of one Aaron McEwen, town recluse of the village of Allogh in the Northern Highlands of Scotland. Originally a museum curator, he was retired at the age of 50 and to pass the time he wrote this world down in a notebook while drinking his liver away at the Swan's Head Pub.

If you were really passionate about this man and his imagination, you would know he used the fairy tales his mother used to tell him, creating the world of Elementi, basing everything on the village and the land around him. Nesam Castle was Allogh Keep, the Shining Waters was the Loch Alma and The Sorcerer of the Caves was Mr Patil from the corner shop.

Aaron, convincing himself that it was publishable stuff, sent the neatly typed material to publishers in London. Out of ten, only one published it.

And by God, did they come across a bestseller.

After a year of taking the British Isles by storm, inciting the faithful devotion of 12 year olds and adults alike, the books travelled across the Atlantic and became an even bigger phenomenon.

It remained at the top of The New York Times Bestseller's list for 5 weeks. Nerds everywhere discussed in detail the characters and their lives. Merchandise mimicking Drawde's Mutus Sword, Iaspis' Veritas Dagger, Mete's Fatum Hammer and Isa's Vertus Arrows were sold in there thousands. Scotland's tourist numbers rocketed and the little town of Allogh exploded. One company had the foresight to offer exclusive tours of all the various sites said to be the inspiration for the books, creating the perfect package holiday for any self-respecting and devoted follower of Elementi.

Aaron McEwen sold his cottage and jetted around the world as he accepted book signings and a movie deal, leaving the shell-shocked town of Allogh to become the nerd version of Disneyworld and deal with what they termed as 'his shite.'

But this story isn't about Aaron. It's not about his characters either.

It's about a boy called Edward Cullen, one of the many fans of these series of books. It's about how he takes this package holiday with three of his other equally devoted friends. It's about how he meets Isabella Swan on this holiday. She works behind the bar in the Swan's Head. It's about how he instantly is besotted with her.

Too bad she doesn't give a toss about Elementi and has a few issues of her own i.e. oppressive and rather large ex-boyfriend who as a tendency of bollocking any boy who tries to go near her…

Aaaah…now there's a spanner in the works…

Please tell me what you think!

Bones