"The Most Offensive Question Ever"

Rated T

Disclaimer: You must be sick in the head if you think I own this.


"Come on dude, just ask her...it's not that bad." said a begging Sam, who was trying to urge Lightning to ask out Anne Maria out on a date. The two we're busy hiding from an empty barbeque pit as they watched her tan with that breathless white tanktop and thong she had on. She looked so damn sexy even when she's bronzed.

"Really? How can I ask her? I don't know even a damn bit if she's really that interested in me. I mean, she used to be with Mike, or Vito, or whoever the hell she really thinks Mike is." Lightning replied as he felt goosebumps toward this situation.

"Look...you cant be that tense. I'll tell ya, I'll be able to back you up all the way. Just go for it. Go." Sam whispered into him as he took cover, which left Lightning to approach Anne Maria slowly. he became quite tense to say the least.

"How's it going with you? Nice day, huh?" Lightning asked her nicely. Anne Maria soon looked up to him. She didn't even seem to mind much.

"Ehhhh...it's okay..." she said as she held the tanning visor up to her body. Lightning felt like this was gonna get dull in a matter of minutes. So, he decided to act now.

"Anne Maria...are you seeing someone else at this moment of time?" He said to her, nervously rubbing against her neck.

"None to speak of. Why, what's on your mind, sugar?" Anne Maria responded as he looked upon Lightning with her tanning glasses off. Lightning just couldn't believe those sexual eyes of hers. So pretty and so amazing...it looked like a pure sensual masterpiece of some sort.

"Come on...dude...go for it!" Sam whispered at him miles away, still hiding from a barbecue pit.

"Well, Anne Maria...the only reason I came to you is this..." Lightning replied, holding a deep breath and letting it all out...

...

...

"You have very nice big breasts! Will you go out with me?" he exclaimed. Sam just hit his head in response. Anne Maria felt like she was offended.

She soon got up off her chair angrily, and faced Lightning head on. That fierce look in eyes made Lightning's soul run right to a fearing wall. He basically started to sweat a little bit. He cringed at the fact that Anne Maria was definitely gonna slaughter him all through the campsite and such.

So Anne Maria got closer to Lightning...

...

...and planted a passionate kiss on the strong athlete that was Lightning himself. To add pleasure to the kiss, she had shoved his whole tongue inside his mouth, just exploring his tasty, smooth pink caverns. Lightning tasted a scent of strawberry and vanilla coming through that tongue of hers. It just felt so tasty, that Lightning fell swooning of the unexpected kiss. What was more alarming that Anne Maria wrapped her bronzed arms right around his neck, deepening the kiss. There seemed to be a passionate moan coming through her and it made him so turned on.

After 25 seconds of that kiss, Lightning just stood surprised, yet still in shock. Anne Maria's face had such a sexualistic mood. What was definitely going on in her mid of hers.

"That's so naughty of you...come on, I think a milkshake is on me..." Anne Maria replied playfully as she took Lightning's hand as they went inside. But they didn't go to the kitchen...instead, they went into something more surrealistic...her bedroom.

"Um, Anne Maria, the kitchen's that way." Lightning replied, pointing at the mess hall. Somehow, she didn't feel like in the mood for a hand-make milkshake.

"Relax...my milkshake is definitely way better. If you know what I mean..." she spoke sensually into him as they slowly went into the bedroom in which they did a whole lot more than making out. As they closed the door, the do not disturb sign was placed gently right on the cabin door. Lightning finally understood the sexual pun.

Sam just saw this as his jaw dropped like a kidney stone. Who knew that Anne Maria could be turned on by something so sexual and offensive before?

"Damn...Jersey chicks are easy..." he said right to himself as got back into playing his Nintendo DS, just for the fun of it.


Well...you definitely had to expect that. I apologize a little bit if I made Lightning act like a nervous douche, but this would be the other side of the coin if Lightning definitely had the hots for a girl like Anne Maria.

Anyway, read and review! Woo Woo Woo, You Know It!