So I'm here with Chapter 2! Quick update, I know, but the next chapter won't come in probably a week. I think this chapter is a bit crappier than the previous one, but somehow I just couldn't really depict those feelings as well.
Thanks OpenDoorLeia for the review ^^
No spoiler alert, but this did NOT happen in the manga/anime!
Bound By Fate
Chapter 2: Inoue's fate
Suggested music to listen to while reading this chapter:
Bleach OST :
-Here To Stay
-Never Meant to Belong
I fiddled with the end of my blouse as I kept walking next to Shishigawara-kun. I felt so nervous! He kept his gaze on the sidewalk, his hands buried deep in his pockets, the plastic bag of games dangling from his wrist. Sometimes I stole glances of his figure, since I never really had the chance to take a proper look at him. He had a slouching posture, but it fit his personality quite well. He had a similar outfit on as on the day we first met. It sure was a strange encounter! At that time, I really thought he was so weak. For some reason, he just got blown away by the wind, despite the fact that it wasn't even a windy day! He kind of sparked my interest with his nervous and silly acts, he seemed like a fun person. That was pretty much the reason I have agreed to come to his apartment.
In a few minutes we reached an average house, similar to mine. We walked up a couple stairs before we arrived at the entrance of his apartment. The place he lived at pretty much met my expectations - it was a bit run down, but it seemed alright. A smile pulled across my lips as he politely opened the door in front of me and I walked inside. The air was heavy, there was a damp smell to it that was only too familiar. My home has been starting to smell like this, after all the time I've been locked up in there in self-pity. His apartment was quite dark, and he had all kinds of junk scattered around. From the corner of my eye I noticed how embarrassed he was about it.
"U-Uhhmm, sorry for the mess. I'll clean it up right away!" He said hurriedly as he gathered a few cans and bags.
"Ah, there's no need. My home looks pretty much the same anyways. I mean, after all that's happened lately..." Sad memories flooded my brain and I felt a pout coming on. However, instead I laughed a little in embarrassement as I walked further inside. I really shouldn't dump my feelings on him like this so suddenly, right?
He gestured towards the living room like a butler and I couldn't help chuckling. He was so funny! I really missed fun people like him in the last days. It was so refreshing to see someone new like this. I took a seat on his couch and got comfy. After he put the game disk in the box-thingie, he plopped down next to me and tossed a controller in my hands. I kept staring at the small buttons to figure them out, and only noticed a good minute later that he has been looking at me. I felt a slight blush creep onto my face.
"W-What is it?"
"What's happened lately?" He asked curiously, with his eyes wide. He looked so cute. I can't even recall anyone worrying for me in such an honest way. One thing I noticed about Sush-, I mean, Shishigawara-kun, is that he is always so honest. Even if he tries to hide it by acting all strong and cool, I can see right through his acts. I actually feel quite proud about how I figured him out.
But even before I could open my mouth he suddenly backed down on his words. "I-I mean, nevermind. It's obviously none of my business." He turned his attention to the controller as he tried to start the game up. I looked down in my lap, thoughtful. Maybe I could tell him. I kind of get the feeling that I can trust him. I haven't told anyone about what has happened and it is so bad to keep it all bottled up inside. Maybe...I could tell him.
"Actually...do you mind if I tell you?" I asked hopefully. I didn't want him to turn me down now. After making my mind up about speaking about what has happened I don't want to be rejected. I felt a sad smile appear on my face as I thought back.
I have realized that I was in love with Kurosaki-kun some time in Hueco Mundo. My suspicion turned out to be completely true when he had finally brought me home. I still remember that look he gave me before we stepped into the portal back to the Living World. That small smile on his face, that childishly happy look he gave me... I will never forget. As I looked up at him, I was suddenly lost in his deep chocolate brown eyes. I couldn't stop looking at them. The entire world didn't seem to matter for me as long as I was looking at him. He turned his gaze away, but the impact of that few seconds will never leave my heart.
Before I knew it, a year has passed, and I have barely managed to hold any kind of connection with Kurosaki-kun. From far away, I would always watch him, and sometimes even get caught by Tatsuki, but I managed to keep her in the dark about it. I know that she loves him, too. It wouldn't be right to let her know about my feelings as well.
On that fateful day, I turned my TV on in the morning. While brushing my teeth I switched to the Horoscope and Fortune Telling channel, and saw what they said for my sign. "The Virgo's lucky food today is... CHOCOLATE!" And that was when I knew it. It was finally the time. I could no longer hide my feelings. I mean, the sign of chocolate obviously meant that I had to confess my love to Ichigo.
So that day I slipped a small note into his bag in the break, in which I told him to meet me behind the school after the lessons ended. And as said, he was waiting there. I still remember how his orange hair seemed to almost burn as the sunset reflected on it. He had his bag slung over his shoulder, his other hand in his pocket. As he saw me approaching, a small smile pulled across his face. 'A positive sign.' I thought to myself as I waved to him. I walked up to where he was and stopped a step away from him.
"So, what was it that you wanted, Inoue? Everything OK? Is there someone bullying you?" I giggled in response. He was always so protective of me. I shook my head as I tried to build up enough courage to finally tell him. And suddenly, it seemed so hard. No word would pass my throat, and my heart wanted to jump out of my chest. I felt heat rise to my face and I tried to hide the blush with my hair. In embarrassement I started to twirl my hair around my finger, and tap the ground with my foot lightly.
"Umm, Kurosaki-kun...You know, I wanted to tell you that..." The words became quieter and quieter and I couldn't press the confession through my lips. My lips started to tremble. What was I so afraid of? Why couldn't I just say those words already? After all he has done for me, the least I could do... is to tell my feelings...
"I love you, Kurosaki-kun." I said quietly, but I am sure he has heard me. Everything around was so silent. A breeze blew at us from the side, picking up a few leaves and dust. I felt relieved and even more nervous at the same time. So much time has passed since I had said it out. Waiting for his response, every single second seemed like an endless eternity, yet it was only too short.
"I..." He gagged in surprise. He obviously hadn't expected me to confess. And that was the moment I realized it. He didn't love me. If he did, he would have said so immediately. He wouldn't be surprised. He wouldn't have taken a step backwards. Strange enough, a smile pulled across my lips. "I'm sorry." He breathed out sadly. "I'm sorry, Inoue." I shook my head in response because no words would come out of my mouth. My throat was so tight that it hurt me. "But I..." And I never heard what he had said. Before I could let any more of his words reach me, I turned and left. At first I only walked with a normal pace, but then I started running as I felt teardrops fall from my cheeks.
At first, I really thought he loved me. I really did. We have been through all so much. We had a special connection. He had saved me from so much. I have helped him so many times. And yet, he didn't love me. I didn't blame him, though. I am such a klutz, who would want me, right? So I ran all the way home, and ever since that day... I haven't been outside...
As I finished the story I noticed teardrops have fallen on my lap. I quickly dried my eyes with the back of my hands.
"Ah, I'm so sorry, Shishigawara-kun." I don't even know what I was sorry for exactly, I just wanted to say sorry. It just felt right. I wanted to say sorry for everyone, and everything.
"It's alright." He said with a calming voice and I felt a warm hand on my back, soothing circles on it. I blinked as I looked up at him. I must have looked really ugly because he stopped with his hand.
"T-Thanks..." I sobbed, and he continued soothing circles again. It felt so relaxing, like it wiped away all my sadness.
"It's alright." He repeated, in a lower voice now. At that moment, I could not hold it back and quickly embraced him in a warm hug, and sobbed bitterly on his shoulder. I cried out all my sadness and sorrow right there and then. All my feelings broke through the barrier and now it could not be stopped. After a few moments of hesitation he put his arms around me and pulled me closer. He was so strong, but so gentle.
In a few minutes my sobs died down finally and I pulled away from him. I quickly used a tissue before it was too late. Like a little elephant, I blew my nose. I inhaled deep to calm my nerves. My mind felt so numb, my chest felt so empty, in a good way.
"It's so good I could take it all out." I said with a satisfied sigh as I dried the last remains of the teardrops on my face.
"Yes it is." Shishigawara-kun said cheerfully with a smile as he patted me on the shoulder.
Whew. I didn't expect to feel this much better after the last week. I've been curled up in a ball for days, my only happiness was food, food, and food. I couldn't go out with my friends because I felt so terrible. I couldn't do anything because everything reminded me of how much I loved him, and how I have been rejected. Kurosaki-kun played such a big part in my life, and now, I most probably have lost him. But now, I am here with Shishigawara-kun, and I think I am happy.
Still expecting reviews and reads ;) And requests for Shishigawara stories :D
[And I hope you have listened to those Bleach OSTs in the meanwhile! It really helps to get with the feeling and stuff!]