I sprinted through the street, knocking aside civilians as a trio of orange-clad guards pursued me.

'For Talos' sake!' I yelled at them. 'It was only a Sweetroll!'

I headed for the gate, he only exit, only to find the way blocked by a large guard, his sword drawn. An arrow whizzed past my ear - were they actually shooting at me?

In a sudden burst of inspiration, I reached down and picked up the iron arrow that had been meant for my head but which now lay on the ground below. I slid forward and, as the guard raised his sword, I plunged the arrow into his knee. He roared in pain as he tried to tug out the sharp arrow. I dodged past him and heaved open the heavy gate. Another arrow flew by - this was getting ridiculous, I had stolen a sticky bun!

I sprinted to the Whiterun stables. A boy was tending to a large brown horse, so I pushed him aside and clambered onto the horse. I dug my heels into it's sides and it whinnied, and began to gallop away. A guard leaped at me seemingly from out of nowhere, and the horse dodged the slash of his sword.

I swore as I fell from it's back and landed hard. Several guards stood over me and pointed their swords at my head.

'You have committed crimes against Skyrim and her people,' One of them informed me (like they hadn't already made that clear). 'What say you in your defence?'

'Fus Ro Dah!'