The First Time
It was a thing of beauty. A +8 Oblivion Ivory Long Sword that Fiona bought from the Marketplace one day. It was expensive. Very expensive. So expensive Fiona already forgot how much it was. It was just expensive. Perhaps it was a very traumatic experience for her wallet.
But that didn't matter. It was worth it.
It was a bright and shiny day when the goddess Morrighan bestowed her inventory with an Enhancement Elixir. Fiona wasn't entirely sure of what it did, but she thought she was probably correct in thinking that this would make enhancing her equipment easier. The fountain in Rocheste had also told Fiona of her good luck today. Confident, Fiona headed to Ferghus' smithy.
"A man without a beard is hardly a man at all!" she heard his gruff voice from behind the door say out loud, laughing.
Fiona stared at the door silently before it slammed open to a very-annoyed looking Lann sheathing his swords. Fiona watched him as he walked away from the smithy back to the outpost very quickly. She briefly wondered about what that was all about, then shrugged.
"Ah!" Ferghus exclaimed. "Fiona! What can I do for you?"
Fiona nodded in reply to him, and handed him her sheathed Ivory Long Sword. "Enhancement."
Ferghus took the sword. He looked at Fiona curiously when she passed him something else. "Oh! And you even have an Enhancement Elixir! This will make things easier." He pumped his fist and grinned at Fiona. "Alright! Just leave them here! It'll take a while, so you can come back later!"
Fiona nodded, and headed out of the smithy. Ferghus started singing as soon as she closed the door, then came the bangs of his hammer against her sword. Fiona swallowed, then sighed nervously. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea, after all.
Nonsense, your fortune said go! You even gave him an Enhancement Elixir! It should be a guaranteed success! Besides, its rank would just go down when he fails, so it's absolutely okay!
Oh, any veteran soldier would laugh at her very hard (if they didn't mind getting injured) if they heard her thoughts just then.
Fiona came back to the smithy half an hour later.
"Fiona! Welcome back!" Ferghus loudly exclaimed. "I finished!" he grinned.
Fiona breathed a sigh of relief, and smiled. She held out her hand.
"Well, sort of," Ferghus added. "I kinda failed," he said, winking and bonking himself on his head lightly with his hammer, his tongue out.
Fiona froze. Her expression darkened. Back in the outpost, Lann felt a disturbing chill up his back.
Ferghus kept grinning through his beard. He brought out the remains of what once was a +8 Oblivion Ivory Long Sword. "Well, I managed to salvage at least half of what was used to smith the weapon—ASDFGHJKLWOPIUYTR"
Ferghus didn't finish. An explosion. All he was able to let out was a tiny squeak when Fiona's foot slashed through the smith's table, between his legs, to his crotch.
As any Fomor she's faced, or Lann, would attest to, Fiona's kick was a force of nature. Even a man like Karok, whose mere presence put Fiona on the edge of her toes, once said that he'd rather not do anything that would make the woman want to kick him.
"It's a kick that even Morrighan should be afraid of," Lann explained to an ignorant Gallagher once.
Back to the smithy, Ferghus' beard exploded off his face.
The next day, Fiona apologized to Clodagh and Nel, and took up weaponsmithing.