Lynn came up to me the other day, and asked me something that no other woman I've ever known has. You want to hear it? It was:

"Why do you love me?"

I stood there, and looked back at her. It's not that I didn't want to answer, everything just overwhelmed me, I think. I remember thinking, This isn't a rhetorical question, you moron! Answer her before she gets upset!

Well, you can guess what happened next.

It was horrible. Utterly horrible.

The next day, I presented her with this:

One Thousand Reasons as to Why I Love Lynn

1) the way you smile

2) the way your eyes light up when you laugh

3) the way you say "You never cease to amaze me, Rex."

4) the way you put your arms around my neck when I kiss you

5) the way you hang on to my every word despite the fact that you disagree with me most of the time

6) the way you're able to make me laugh when I'm in the worst of moods

7) the way you're able to win me over on just about anything

8) the way you give me a feeling of ambivalence every time our eyes meet

9) the way you say you're too tired, then later reach for me in the middle of the night

10) the way you always wearing my work shirts the morning after

11 - 998) the nine hundred eighty eight ways you tolerate / endure / control / put up with / handle me and MY ways for one day

999) the way you make me feel miserable when I'm with you

1000) the way you make me feel miserable when I'm without you

Then, she smiled the smile I talked about in number one.